No School, North Country, New Things

I have a love/hate relationship with the kids' days off from school. It makes my mornings SO much easier when, in my rush to get off to work, I don't have to stop mid-routine and wake up one, then the other, then another (repeatedly). Then again, Girl wants to go shopping, LargeBoy has school....what to do with SmallBoy? Granted, he's 10, and, were he NT, he could probably stay home by himself, but I don't think I'd be too comfortable with that ~ a dilemma with which working parents grapple each time the school calendar bolds those two words: NO SCHOOL.

Today we worked out a compromise, Girl didn't leave to go shopping until almost noon, and PC was going to be home around 3. I work 7minutes away, so I can get home in an emergency. We briefed him on what was going on. He's been home alone for 1/2hr/45 minute stints before, when he gets home from school and his brother and/or sister haven't arrived yet. He's fine. He gets up in the morning WELL before we're ready to and is able to occupy himself, although, it's usually with the TV, the computer, or video games...but the point is, he's able. I called a few times to check on him, but he never answers the phone which, I suppose, is for the best. He's fine. I'll be more fine when I get home.

Saturday night the new band, North Country, made its debut. I will have to admit that, although I attempted, and probably pulled off, an air of calm and don't-worry-be-happy, I was PETRIFIED....not because I wasn't confident in the band, I knew they'd rock, but because it was a first. I took for granted the comfort that comes with knowing where everything's going to fall, how people will interact on stage, what people have come to expect of the band...but it was fine. We had a few glitches, but whatever we encountered, we overcame and laughed off, especially our double - time song, Redneck Women (Alvin & the Chipmunks Style). We had a riot, though. I absolutely cannot wait to do it again. These people are so talented and so professional, and we were all right here under each others' noses.

I also had the good fortune to meet fellow autism blogger, Wade and his daughter, L, who had the great timing to be in town over the weekend. I can't tell you how cool it was to finally meet him (THANX FOR COMING - and staying longer than you had planned!) It was really nice to finally put a face, and a voice, to the amazing, "discussion - inspiring" posts over at Injecting Sense. I gotta tell ya, he's really cool! You gotta meet him!

In addition to the band, there are a lot of new things going on in our life, but I'll speak to the most important - that being the Not-So-SmallBoy. He spent Saturday night with my mom (GR), because Girl & LargeBoy were at Ex's. SmallBoy has a great time when he's there, he has a place to chill, sans all the distractions that our house and our schedules and our lives have to offer. Just SmallBoy & GR. When he got home, his engine was nice and regulated, as were mine & PC's, but, of course, as the afternoon rolled on and things got back to "normal," everyone's engines revved up high and we all got a little irritable.

SmallBoy ended up in his room cooling off/arguing with me over his GameBoy until I told him he had to clean his room. That, as you would expect, was met with a great big, "WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!" As we sat and talked together, I explained to him that I did not expect this Herculean task to be done all in one session, and made him a list of what he needed to do - Lists are beautiful things! After a few more trips up the stairs by PC & me, and some gentle prodding, the task got done. We had also turned on some of his Listening Therapy music (btw - the frequencies still play on the boom box the way they do in the headphones). His engine came WAY back down. I went up at 9 to check on him and he was, for the most part, done with the list I had written for him. Of course there is still some work, I called it "fine tuning," to be done, but he had finished what I had set for him. Dressed in his blue fuzzy sports robe and his boxer shorts, he was ready to come back down stairs and join us, but stopped before he did so. We are keeping Snood for a few days while her parents are out of town, so SmallBoy has an extra sister, and he knows that, even though she is at our house so much that she is practically another one of our family, she is still a guest. He stopped and said to me, "Mom, I need to put my clothes back on. We have Snood here and I can't go downstairs in my robe & sleep shorts." COOOOOOOL!

We have been trying, for a LONG time, to get him to grasp the concept of being dressed appropriately when we have guests, even when it's bedtime. He would always come down in his tighty whities when he was getting ready for bed, or if he got up first (which he usually does). This time, though...it was as though something clicked. TaDA!

I'm going to try and write more again, but we're making some huge decisions in our life right now and they're wracking my nerves a bit, but hey, that'll be something to write about, won't it. Tonight, though, I don't think I'll get to it. My goal is to get the DAMN TREE DOWN! Yes, my Christmas tree is still up. I just haven't had time to get to it. It's never an easy thing, and it's never even close to as much fun and festive as putting it up. One year our tree was up til Valentine's Day (and beyond~~~sorry, my brain was invaded by the spirit of Buzz Lightyear). It WILL come down tonight. We actually discussed putting a drop of superglue on each ornament and just carrying it out to the garage...LOLOLOLOL. We also thought of telling people that yes, in fact, we had already taken our tree down, but that we looked at our calendar and saw that we have no time between now and next Christmas to put it up again, so, the only logical time to put the tree of for Christmas 2007 was, well, now.

I need coffee....anyone have coffee???????

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

PC & I got this cool new mini cam corder from GR for Christmas. We're also in the process of giving birth to our new musical child - no no no, not that way, new band. We played with our new toy tonight to introduce our new band. Here's the child - then go over to our myspace and see what's new!

Remember When I Said...

...that I felt weird for writing about nothing Asperger's related? Well last night was meltdown extraordinaire. As is usual for us, we had a busy night. It was only two things, OT & Scouts, but they started almost as soon as we walked in the door from workat 5:00, and lasted until about 9:00. In the door, grab a piece of pizza, change out of work pants & shoes (no time to find a new shirt), and head off to OT.

We had a blast at OT, even PC & I got into the act. J the Fabulous OT had SmallBoy working on a crib mattress set on top of some foam rollers. He had to maneuver his way back and forth taking an item out of a bag on one side of him, using his arm muscles and his balance to pull himself, via rope, to a bucket on the other side to deposit the item. It was a lot of work for him, trust me, I tried it. We are fortunate enough to have a wonderful OT who lets us take part in the activities so that we can get a feel for what he's doing in order to replicate or duplicate as close as possible, those actions, activities, exercises at home. As SmallBoy's had OT off and on for the last month, he was ready to roll. His engine was way high, and he needed this session desperately - not to mention that we were going to a scout meeting right after OT. He worked hard, he was focused on the task at hand and he did a great job. We are so proud of him! She helped SmallBoy to bring his engine down to a nice moderated level. He did a lot of balancing for the vestibular, and a lot of upper body work to work on his muscle tone. His focus today was unreal. She had him up in the lycra layers and was having him use clothespins to attach some of the toys to each side of the layers. Every time he fell, she told him he would have to do sit ups or pushups. Well, he was concentrating so hard on the task at hand, that we could see his legs shaking. He was ready. He was calm, he was focused, and his engine had come down just below a regular, moderate level. I expected it to go back up at scouts, so a little below "just right" was just fine with me.

OT was over at 6:15 and Scouts started at 7. This meant that we didn't have to rush from one to the other, since OT and Scouts are, literally, a 2minute ride away. We had brought SmallBoy's scout uniform to OT so that he could just change there before we left, but we still had to stop home and pick up Girl for basketball practice. This was one of the few times that she didn't have a friend also needing a ride, so when we got back to the school, it was only 6:30. Girl had no problem with that, as the boys' basketball team had a game that she could watch until her practice started. We, on the other hand, had a half an hour to kill doing a whole lot of nothing. Instead of just sitting in the car, or wasting gas by driving around, we went inside. Thankfully, the Boy Scouts were there, as the were setting up and practicing the flag ceremony for the meeting. This meeting was a combined meeting/Christmas party with the cub & boy scouts. Everything was going swimmingly. GR even came to watch the skits that each scout den was performing. SmallBoy's den did this cute scene in which each scout had a letter spelling out "Merry Christmas", starting at the "S" and working backward toward the "M", each boy saying what part of Christmas their particular letter represented. SmallBoy's "R" stood for reindeer.

The show was wonderful and, as you can see from the pic, he's not shy about using a microphone...I wonder where he gets that?. After the skits, the boys had the privilege of throwing a pie in the face of the Scout Master (the new one, the one we adore) as a reward for meeting and exceeding the popcorn sale challenge he had set for them. Everyone was in a great mood, the room was loud with happiness and anticipation and excitement. The troops received gifts, with SmallBoy's troop receiving flashlights for camping that wind up - no batteries or electricity needed. This flashlight was the downfall of our evening.

SmallBoy, after receiving his, immediately brought it to me and asked if we could open it for him. After looking at the clock and realizing this meeting only had moments left, I told him no, that I didn't want it to get lost, that the meeting was just about over and that he could have it when we got home. Ok. No problem. He ran off to play. PC was running outside and asked me if I wanted him to take it. I told him not to, because then SmallBoy might notice it missing and meltdown thinking it got lost or "stolen." I should have let him take it to the car.

I walked away for a few moments to take pictures of the newly "pied" Scout Master - he ended up wearing three cream pies, chocolate, I believe. When I walked back, GR said to me, that SmallBoy had come back, seen the flashlight package on the chair (I must have missed the bag) and walked away with it. Damn! I fought with myself, having the non-stop internal arguement as to whether I should let it slide for the next 3 minutes while we finished up the meeting, or if I should make it a point to dole out consequences for the action and risk a meltdown, thus, ruining SmallBoy's night - because no ASD meltdown is a "good" meltdown. I went with option B, and went up to SmallBoy and asked him for the flashlight back. I explained to him that I had previously told him that he could not play with it because I didn't want it getting lost or broken.

"But, Mom, all the other kids...."

"Yes, my love, I know, but the meeting is almost over and I've already told you no. Why did you take it from the bag without asking?"

"Because I wanted it and everyone else has theirs."

This was true, they were all running around like crazy, having fun, playing, SOCIALIZING. I found myself, again, arguing within my head about what the best, most practical solution would be. Again, I chose to lay down the law. I told him that he had to give me the flashlight as a consequence - of course I explained this three or four times, in language easy to understand when his engine is skyrocketting. He got angry and just started crying, baby-crying, not crying like a 10y/o - more of a WAAAAAAAAH, than anything. And he wasn't faking either. He was upset, he was angry. This went on for a good ten minutes until he finally just shut down. It's very rare that he completely shuts down on me. I didn't know what to do. I was at my wit's end, partially because I knew that we never should have gone to the meeting, because we haven't had ANY down time all week and partially because I knew that he was fried and had already been to two scout meetings this week, plus school, plus just overstressed from us being stressed.

"I'm done doing the big pack meetings. This is just too much for him, and it's too much for us. I think we'll just go to the den meetings."

That was my big pronouncement. Now, you know that's not going to happen, because he needs the socialization, he needs the recognition of getting his awards and achievement badges in front of the whole pack, he needs all of it. But I, too, was fried beyond belief. SmallBoy and I had both finally, after many weeks of holding it together - JUST barely - cracked. We were done. I wanted to cry, he was already crying. Instead, I held it together just a little bit longer to show a friend SmallBoy's sensory tunnel and body sock, and to let her son, who is ADHD, try them out. We also gave them a copy of "The Book". I wanted SmallBoy to show T how to use the sock and the tunnel, but he was angry and upset at me, still, and went and laid on the stage to sulk and be mad. Most people just thought he was tired, but when he became unresponsive to their prompts and chatter, I had to step in. It was time to go. We almost had to drag him out, because he wasn't going.

I don't think I've ever experienced that with him. This is something new, for which I was not prepared. Given the circumstances of the last couple of weeks, though, I'm not surprised. I would be more than content to not have to go to multiple places on Christmas, but you know, Christmas just wouldn't be the same without all of the hustle and bustle, now would it? So, we'll suck it up for a few more days and it will all be over. I think I'll sleep through 2007 to make up for all of the stress of the last 2 or 3 weeks though.

Pseudo-Supermum, never fear, I will de-stress!

T Minus a Day and A Half and Counting

....because I'm not setting foot in a shopping mall, strip mall, grocery store, drug store, nothin' after tomorrow night. Now way. No how. Nuh UH! My poor, yet wonderfully caring and selfless husband is free today, so he's out with my list. I have called him so many times now, adding to the list that I think he's finally turned off the cell phone. Really, I think he has. He's probably thinking, "It's the last time I volunteer to go do the shopping!" No, he's wonderful for that.

In addition to getting that off my list, SmallBoy and I got our haircut on Tuesday and decided to commit our great cuts to posterity. Once again, PC demonstrated his compassion and selflessness (LONG word!), and took many many pictures on multiple settings and lightings until SmallBoy and I were satisfied with our own appearances AND the ethereal light of the beautifully decorated tree AND the lighting in the room. Why PC didn't just give up on us, I'll never know - perhaps because he loves us. The kids and I decided that my fresh-from-the-salon do made me look very much like Jane Kaczmarek - or, as we call her, Mrs. Malcom's Mom (from Malcom in the Middle, also married to Bradley Whitford from The West Wing, and both very very AVID supporters of Cure Autism Now).

I still feel just plain bleh, but keep putting that aside for all of this Christmas-ing and regular madness. I think perhaps I might just allow myself to get sick on Jan. 2 when I have to go back to work, cuz I'll be damned if I going to spend MY Christmas break in bed with a fever. Nope.

Tonight we have OT and cub scouts - complete with Christmas festivities and our first time together with Former Scout Master and Son of Former Scout Master (joy oh joy...GR will be there to watch, too!) {insert evil cackle here}. Cookies, juice, screaming happy boys excited about winter break, parents with throbbing heads and empty wallets begging for some peace and quiet (and maybe a glass our their own "juice"). Perhaps I'll do that while I color my hair and then slide down into a hot steamy bath......ZZZZZZzzzzzz

Sorry, nodded of there. Speaking of baths, I've had some great fun taking pictures of Charley cat in the bathtub. She has this thing for licking the water out of the tub, even if the tub, itself, is dry, but the faucet still has a drip or two. We have a beautiful white claw foot tub. Chuck, as we affectionately call her, is a white & black cat. Took the pics in black & white. Pretty cool, huh? Can you see why we call her Charley? It was either that or we named her Adolf - and, well, I didn't think that would be such a good name, now, don'tcha know.

And while I'm on black and white photos, I'll add in this one me and my wittew goowah. It sure feels like I'm trying to write something other than Christmas or Asperger's or the chaos that is our schedule, doesn't it? M'ija and I had fun with this pic. Again, being the perfectionists that we are, we re-took this self-portrait several times. Unfortunately neither of us could agree upon one in which we BOTH looked good, so we settled on this one. I think it's cool, though, so I'm not complaining.

It's almost 3. Think I should do some work - especially since that's where I am? LOL. Have to have all of my year-end stuff wrapped up by tomorrow since I won't be here the week after. Just don't feel like working, though. Maybe I'll go read all of your blogs instead!

Let's See If I Can Stay on Track Again

Last time I made myself an outline I stayed, relatively, on track. Think I can do it again? Hmmm...I want to tell you about so many things that have been going on, that I think I should make THE LIST again. Darn, my snowman's not moving. Well, you get the idea. Ok, let's see - what do I need to tell you about?
Scouts and the camping trip
SmallBoy & school (OY)
Christmas chaos
House...GRRRR
Cookie Day
EXHALE!!
I think that's it! Let's start at the top - and I don't know that these are in order at all:

SCOUTS & CAMPING
The first weekend of the month, PC & ET took SmallBoy on a campout with the scouts. The Boy Scout troop invited all of the boys in SmallBoy's age bracket (Weeblos I & II) to join them on a camping weekend. They planned on doing many activities to help the boys earn badges - and lots of them. From our den, only three other boys/dads went on the trip, as it was RIDICULOUSLY cold - my guys were brave! From the Weeblos II den, a few other father/son teams went along, including the man who, until last year, used to be the Scout Master of the whole pack and his son.

When my guys finally arrived up north in Woodstock, IL, they were ecstatic to be alive. The snow had hit two days before, but up in the rural country of the campgrounds, the roads were barely passable and they thought the certain death was imminent. As they exited the snuggly warmth of our little Honda, they were slapped across the face with the cold biting winter wind reminding them that, indeed, they were roughing it for the next 24hrs. My guys were prepared, dressed in layers and "toughness." They schlepped their gear to their cabin, geared up for the day, and headed out to meet the boy scouts of our troop. Their journey into the "arctic," as it seemed, came to a temporary screeching halt as a troop of boy scouts pulled up to the cabin, also to unload. These scouts had previously given up their reservations due to the weather and now, apparently, had changed their minds. Good, caring gentlemen that our troop are, offered to share the cabin, which had two separate floors, and plenty of room. The other troop was thrilled, and began to unpack their cars, from which they carried in at least 10 television sets, multiple video gaming systems, stereos and mp3 players - all contraband in the eyes of the scouts. Clearly this troop had no intention, whatsoever, of "scouting" for the weekend.

Giving it only a second thought, my guys continued on with their days. There wasn't much going on in the way of earning badges, but the boys were outside having fun. They did, however, hone their hunting/seeking/retrieval skills through a 3-Man Slingshot challenge. PC, ET, and another dad took frozen oranges and shot them out of a 3-Man slingshot into the deep deep snow. They scouts were instructed to follow the orange by sight, and then to listen for the thud when it hit the snow. Then, they were sent to retrieve it. Not an easy job in 2ft of snow out in the country, but they had fun. Sled hills, snow, boys - yeah, lots of fun, minimal badgework.

Unfortunately, SmallBoy got targeted by Former ScoutMaster (who is NOT a very nice man, thinks he's a drill seargent), AND Son of Former ScoutMaster. The son is a year or two older than SmallBoy, and they go to school together. This child has a reputation for harrassing other kids, pushing them around, and just being a general pain in the behind. This child also has an underlying learning disability, so, being the open minded person that I am, and not his parent, always turned a semi-blind eye to the behavior (shame on me). That is, I always turned one until now. The boys were down at the bottom of the sled hill when one scout came back up and told PC that SmallBoy was crying and he thought that SmallBoy was hurt. As it happened, this was the scout's way of indirectly ratting out Son of Former ScoutMaster who had SmallBoy face down on the ground grinding his face into the ground. PC didn't even hear him screaming until Son of Former ScoutMaster lifted his head up for a brief, oh so brief second, so that he could breath, and then promptly smushed him back into the snow. Where, oh where was Former ScoutMaster? In the cabin playing cards with some of the other fathers. Another lovely incident was when the boys were actually outside working on a badge project. SmallBoy told PC that he needed to use the bathroom. PC told him that he had to go to, and that he'd go with him. Well, Former ScoutMaster, abusing his former power and his "power" as the only leader there from our Pack, told my SmallBoy, "You're not going anywhere. You PISS IN YOUR PANTS!" First of all, NO. Second of all, NO. Thirdly, NO! You don't tell a child, especially one that doesn't belong to you, to PISS IN HIS PANTS. You don't tell MY child, with or without an accompanying adult, to PISS IN HIS PANTS. You don't tell YELL at a child on the spectrum, you don't SWEAR in front of all the other boys, you don't humiliate MY son, nor do you outrank my husban who is with my child and knows exactly how to take care of him.

The next incident was at dinner. The boys were all neatly lined in 2 lines waiting, believe it or not, quietly, for their food. Mr. Former ScoutMaster decided that he did not like this arrangement, made the executive decision to make it a single file line, then grabbed MY SON and another young boy by the scruff of the neck and told them that they had to go to the end of the line. Again, a child on the spectrum who is at the beginning of the line AND being patient and quiet is a very wonderful sight to behold. YOU DON'T MOVE HIM. Also, you don't GRAB a child, particularly a young one, and one who is behaving, by the scruff of the neck and yank him out of line. It's been a couple of weeks since this incident and I'm STILL FUMING. Later, Son of Former ScoutMaster told ET that he didn't like SmallBoy because he was stupid and an idiot. Honestly, I don't know HOW ET held himself together and didn't just go off on this kid - perhaps because, being a phenomenal father himself, ET is smart enough to know that know matter how much of a jerk someone is, particularly a child, you don't go off on them. I can't remember exactly how he responded to this boy, but it was completely in defense of SmallBoy along with a "don't you ever...."

OH, I almost forgot about the other troop with the televisions and video games. Loud boys upstairs. They stayed up, well after our troops had lights out, and played video games, loud music, furniture rearranging, jumping, you name it, until 3am. When the guys arrived home the next day and relayed the goings on to me, I was LIVID. I am not one to put up a stink to a higher-up, but this time it involved my child. That's going over the line. I got on the phone with the current fantastic ScoutMaster who has a son in SmallBoy's class, has different issues, but uses the same OT as SmallBoy, ScoutMaster who understands SmallBoy and treats him with equality, but with the little differences - and respect, that he deserves. He was livid. ET wrote an email to the Boy Scouts of America who assured us that this would be looke into. Boy do I feel like I opened a nasty can of worms. We get to spend two of the nights this week at scout outings with Former ScoutMaster and Son. Should be interesting.

SmallBoy & School
Meltdown city. Oh LORD! School's been incredibly trying these last couple of weeks. I have spoken more in the last two weeks to SmallBoy's teachers than I did all of last year. My poor guy has just been having such a difficult time. He's not been wanting to do the work, he's been complaining that it's either too easy or too hard, he's not been wanting to do the assignment as given, but his own way. He's been exploding in class and the kids, who have been SO incredible with him, are now all afraid to even speak to him for fear that he may blow up again for reasons unclear to them - and even to SmallBoy.

We all know that with a spectrum child, meltdowns can come on out of the blue, or over the smallest little thing. We also know that, odds are, it isn't the smallest little thing that causes the melt down, it just happens to be the spark on the powder keg that's been waiting to go off, filling more and more with powder - enough to fuel a HUGE explosion. I've been at my wits end, trying to hold it together and not burst into tears at the office after talking to Mrs. M. I've broken at home, only for a bit, to let a little bit out, whild trying to remain "SUPERMOM". I've lost it at home, melting on my own - venting at everyone in my house for stupid stupid things - things like, "Mom, I need posterboard tomorrow," (oh crap, she really does), things like, "Geez, will you look at the calendar?! How are we supposed to be in all of these places that require us to be there all at the same time? And HOW, if we're supposed to be in those places, are we supposed to get our holiday shopping done? Our laundry done? Our house clean? My flat tire changed? Homework done? Lunches made? Spend time as a family?" Oh my head hurts.

My poor guy has been having his own struggles and meltdowns and, without realizing what I was doing, he's been stressing out worrying about ME. My Not-So-SmallBoy has been worrying about ME. Love him to pieces. He's worrying about himself, about making friends - he's feeling the "excommunication" from the group, he's associating that with what Ex is doing to him, he's struggling with reading comprehension at school, and now he's worrying about me. What a schmuck I am. Totally unthinking sometimes, but I am so grateful to have a family that will help me see what I'm doing and where I'm going.

SmallBoy and I increased our intensity on our reading program that we're doing at home. I'm not sure if I posted on exactly what we're doing, but we're using one of the programs that we do at our center at work, and helping him learn to visualize and make pictures for everything that he's reading. This will help him to build comprehension skills in order to understand what he's reading, and to build an even greater vocabulary. We were doing it just a little bit, which, I should know better, isn't nearly enough. Now we're working on our own little deal: He works really hard and gets x amount of stars. If, by the end of the week he has earned 50stars, he gets to teach me one of his video games. This works out well for both of us because I'm teaching him, and then he'll get to teach me. It's just really really been breaking my heart to see him hurting like this.

Christmas Chaos
This should be a little shorter of a blurb. Are YOU done yet? Religious affiliation aside, everyone celebrates SOMETHING this time of year - Solstice, Hannukah, Christmas, Kwaanza - all of which involve preparation of something, joining with loved ones, sharing of something, usually, some kinds of formal ceremonies - be they at church, temple, home, etc....This year, we have Christmas parties, Christmas baking, elongated Christmas celebration, transportation of the children ON Christmas, deciding who will have them when and how they will get where on Christmas when we're not even certain what time we'll be where on Christmas. And that's just Christmas DAY! Christmas Eve, SmallBoy will sing with the youth choir at mass and I'll be the cantor, so we'll be singing together. Then we'll be having some family over and beginning a new tradition. Christmas Day, we'll do our thing in the morning, Meem & FIL's for food and gifts, then to my aunt's for more food & gifts, then home to collapse. Day AFTER Christmas, we'll spend at Dad's with KR and then bring KR home with us for 2days!!! WHOOT WHOOT!

If I live that long, I have a feeling I'll enjoy it. I haven't finished my shopping, and I still haven't shopped for my mother, my sisters, my father, my father's wife, ET - and I think I still have some stuffers to get for the stockings - OH GOD! I haven't found the stockings yet! And I have NO time this week. Tonight - Scouts/Basketball Game/Reading with SmallBoy/Passing out. Tomorrow night - basketball/Reading with SmallBoy/promoting Code West's gig for Saturday night/passing out. Wed night - Basketball, something else...you get the idea. Somewhere in the spare moments between all of these activities and the important things like sleeping, eating, bathing, and just plain dropping dead, I can find time to do all of the rest of the stuff that still has to get done - oh yeah! And I have to color my hair and find time for haircuts too! EGADS!

Dear Santa:
All I want for Christmas are a few more hours in the day and an extra day on the weekend that are reserved soley for me, that cannot be taken up by obligations for OTHER PEOPLE, other things, work, or anything that I do not care to do. I have been a very good girl this year. This gift does not involve spending any money or creating a brand new toy or video game. I would say this is a relatively simple request. Thank you for taking the time to carefully consider my Christmas wish.
Yours truly,
Me

HOUSE...GRRRRR
Saturday, in the mail, I get a letter from my mortgage company telling me that because I had a nasty little spell with paying for my house, that my escrow is so far down, they are now DOUBLING my mortgage payment, effective Feb. 1. First of all, this house is so NOT worth that amount of money each month. Secondly, if I really and truly could afford to spend that much money on my house each month, I'd live on the richy rich side of town...or at least in a larger house in the comfortable side of town. Can you say REFI????? Seriously, do mortgage companies actually think people will settle for this and just pay it? No. But I've got to do it fast, cuz Feb 1 will come up soon. I don't make that much money in a month. Seriously, I need to sell my house, but it's not ready to be sold, plus stupid Ex will put up such a stink that it would be unbearable if I tried to leave this town of "wide lawns and narrow minds," (E. Hemingway on this town in which I live).

Electrician is coming tomorrow to see what he can do to fix this awful thing. Our house is still on the original fuses and is totally stupid. Our house is sinking on one side, my stairs are falling apart, my garage is falling apart, my insurance company changed my policy and now, get this, they no longer cover any damages to the house caused by the weather - so if a tree falls on my house - nope, if we have a tornado and my house blows to Oz - nope, if we get so much snow that my roof collapses -nope. Can they DO that?????????

Cookie Day
We made scads and scads of cookies, I took scads of pictures. We baked from 10:45 until 6, propped the TV up so that we could roll and decorate cookies while watching the Bears almost blow it against Tampa. We made Grandma Rosie cookies (secret family recipe, roll out dough), butter cookies, gingerbread cookies, butternut snowballs, peanut butter kiss cookies, apricot delights, almond crescents. There were about 21-25 of us (and we were missing several people), and we rolled and decorated and spritzed and baked. I tried desperately to post a slide show of the pics, but they moved my entire blog around.

Cookie day was at my mother's house this year, we rotate every year. My mother lives across the street from a forest preserve. As we were walking up to her house, we noticed a few deer at the edge of the forest. Surprisingly, they stuck around all day. We all walked down there at one point or another over the course of the day and looked at and admired them. I believe there were five total - 2 bucks, 2 does, and a fawn. Amazingly, the bucks were not fighting. (I know, could have cropped a little better, but forgot). We arrived at around 11:15 and the last time we saw the deer outside - you could see them just by looking out of the window, was just before it got dark. I'm impressed, and surprised that they hung out that long.

These are just a smattering of our end result. We baked. A lot. Of Cookies. Somewhere in my spare time, I will bake some more, when, though, I'm not certain. To more pics from cookie day, either peek over at the sidebar, or, to see them larger, head over to my myspace blog, where the slide show is considerable larger in both height & width. I think I'm finally done with this post now. I stopped in the middle of the Christmas Chaos part, went home from work, snarfed down some food, did some reading work with SmallBoy, went to scouts, came home. It's now 10:00. I think that I may just go crack a beer (another beer) and go color my hair. Of course that means, no sleep until at least midnight, but then at least I will have THAT done! EEEEEK. Ta Ta my Friends. Sleep tight.

Sunday Sunday Sunday

I've made the switch over to beta, figured out what I'm doing and am finding this new format to be pretty cool so far. I discovered the "label" feature and am in the process of going back and labeling all 409 posts. As I went through the month of November, to mark them all as NaBloPoMo, I discovered that somehow or other, I MISSED November 4th - two posts on 11/3, but nothing on the 4th. I was SOOOOOOOOOO diligent about getting them in. I threw my children off of the computer, "GET OFF! I NEED TO POST!" I can blame it on I thought I was posting after midnight and apparently didn't. I can blame it on a different time zone (but I wasn't in one), or I could just suck it up and say I didn't get the post in for some reason, and just never realized it. AAAAAAARRRGGHHH!!!!! Well, next year. Unless you guys, Laura & Kyra, really want to try and get a NaBloJanMo going - even if it is only the three of us.

This weekend went by entirely to quickly. Anyone agree? Ex had Girl and LargeBoy, of course NOT SmallBoy, for the weekend. Friday night we stayed in and made some music. We are in the process of forming another band (in addition to, not instead of Code West). So, ET came over, as did JG, who will be our other guitar player. We hung out, made music (and merry), and had a blast. SmallBoy hung out with me while the guys did their thing with their guitars and bongos. He taught me a couple more games and played just with me for a while. It was very nice for both of us, I think, especially since it was a weekend when he had been, once again, excluded from visiting his father.

Saturday was a very busy day from start to finish, yet it didn't seem overly crazy, like it usually does on the weekends. We had promised LargeBoy that we would take him out driving to log in some more behind-the-wheel time. Ex refuses to do this with him (Why? I'll never know.), so PC took him out for a couple of hours first thing in the morning, when traffic was relatively light. He's really doing a wonderful job. I'm still terrified, and I'm sure I will be for the rest of my life when I know he's behind the will (right, Mom?), but I'm much more comfortable with him driving than I was in September. New element in the equation now, the snow, but he's got to learn somehow.

GR had called and asked if SmallBoy would like to spend the night. She likes to have GR and SmallBoy nights when she knows that Ex has the other two. SmallBoy was THRILLED and had his bag packed within seconds. I told him that it would probably be mid to late afternoon before GR picked him up, because she had things to do, and we had Girl's play to attend. He was quite fine with that, as he was ecstatic that he was going to GR's and that he was going to see his sister's play.

The play was fantastic. The drama club performed a play based on children's books including Courduroy, The Grouchy LadyBug, Horton Hatches an Egg, Lon Po Po, Pierre, The Rough Faced Girl, and a couple others that I can't remember. The play began with a group of kids in the library talking about just how TOTALLY LAME it is to read. "Boring!" "Reading? Um, no." With that, one of the girls knocked over the table where the books are displayed and out rolled the Grouchy Ladybug. The librarian told the girls that to make up for losing the ladybug, they would have to read all of the stories until they found the one in which she belonged, and returned her to her story. The performances were wonderful. The play was written to have a narrator reading the story and then the story book character reciting their "lines." Girl was in 3 or 4 of the stories. In this pic, she was the wolf in Lon Po Po - a story similar to the mother goat and her three kids. Mother goes to visit grandma and tells the kids not to let anyone in no matter what. Big Bad Wolf (Girl) poses as Grandma and enters into the house, the kids finally discover her identity and then set about getting rid of the wolf. In Horton Hatches the Egg, she was the Ringmaster at the circus. Now, the costumes are never too elaborate, it's junior high play in a Catholic School, so you know that it's all volunteers, but the kids always manage to pull them off. She came out in a "ringmaster" jacket and a hat and looked fantastic. She already had her nose and eyebrows on for her Lon Po Po character, so she looked extra adorable. She came out and with all of the confidence in the world, like she owned this role, like she was meant to be a ringmaster. She was graceful, elegant, and Seuss-ian. PC and I were terribly proud of her. I really want to put more pics in this post, but I'll add them to the slide show in the sidebar instead. In the Grouchy LadyBug, Snood played the ladybug and Girl played one of the animals that the ladybug kept challenging to fight, in Girl's case, the rhinoceros. I tried to get a good pic of the two of them on the stage together, but when I finally got into position, Girl was the one and only character that came out stage left. Go figure.

After the play, GR came and picked up SmallBoy. PC and I were home alone with nothing to do - at least for an hour or so before we headed out to Girl's basketball game. It was against the rich snooty kids from the next village over. They had all been "myspace-ing" each other all week and trash talking each other. Our girls were pumped. It was the other school's Pack-the-Place, the school spirit game - the BIG rivalry. Sadly, our girls did NOT win, but their record for the season, so far is 15-3, so we're not complaining. Between the coaching, the shots just NOT falling, bad defense, bad calls & non-calls, it was not a pretty game, but they fought hard. They've got a great record and we're all proud of them. After the game, PC and I had SUCH a craving for sub sandwiches that we stopped at one of the best joints in town, SubTender (or SubT, for short), grabbed some subs and headed home - to our empty house. Gee, what should an exhausted couple that hardly ever gets alone time do with a house to themselves - no kids, no obligations - do for the evening? What any couple would do in this situation; we plopped ourselves on the sofa with our sandwiches and popped in the first disc of the second season of The Office. I nodded off by about episode 4, PC was out by episode 6. We were in bed, asleep by midnight.

That actually served me well, as I had to sing 7:30 mass at church this morning. I so had hopes to go back to bed when I got home, but by 8:45, I was awake. PC got out of bed, we made some coffee, and discussed our game plan. We both had a craving for biscuits and gravy for breakfast, so we headed to our favorite breakfast restaurant - Page's, in Hinsdale (GO THERE!!!!). We pigged out. Out to GR's we went to pick up SmallBoy and go to Cub Scouts. We were doing an outdoor 3 mile hike today, so we knew we'd walk off breakfast. The weather was relatively decent (for Chicago in December), especially compared to the great freeze we had last week. PC ad SmallBoy, fresh from the frozen camp out last weekend, were well prepared with their layers of clothing. I did pretty ok, too, but by about 5 minutes into the walk I was wearing both my hat and PC's hat (which technically IS mine anyway). The boys goofed around, explored, got off task, on task, followed, passed, lagged behind, but had a great time. Every so often our den leader, Mr. G, would stop the guys and have them massage their feet to warm them, take a hydration break and, believe it or not, cool off. We got pretty cozy warm while hiking. SmallBoy got so warm that he wanted to take off his hat (especially since some of the other scouts had). I, not thinking in ASD mode, ended up arguing with him about keeping his hat on. DUH - after going back an forth for about 45 seconds, I told him that he could take it off for 2minutes but then had to put it back on. After 2 minutes, he put it back on - no arguements, whatsoever. LIGHT BULB! I told him then that, absolutely, when he got too hot, he could take his hat off for 2 minutes to cool down. Bam! He put it back on each time!

The boys hiked along doing 1.5miles out and 1.5 miles back. They were fortunate enough, on the way back to spot a fawn - then an 8-point buck and the doe (can you find him in here?). We were considerably closer than this picture represents. It was really fun watching the boys saying, "COOL! Deer!" and knowing that the deer were probably thinking, "COOL! People!" We stood and stared at each other for about 2 or 3 minutes before we moved on. The deer, surprisingly, never bolted - I expected them to take off at the noise and sudden movements that the boys made, but they stayed, and we moved on.

Our long, cold afternoon came to an end as we dropped SmallBoy off for a whole whopping hour at his father's. He insisted on having SmallBoy for a little bit of time this weekend, even after I explained his incredibly busy schedule for the day. Had I known HOW little time he would have him, I would have just said no. Literally, it was an hour, and then he came bounding through my door again. I asked him if he had a good time at his father's and he told me about what he and LargeBoy did for the hour - worked on a Lego toy he has there.

Now, we're all home - except Girl, she's at a softball tournament (don't worry, it's indoors). Snat and a friend are over trying get our dishwasher to work, the boys are watching a combination of The Simpsons and football. LargeBoy is DESPERATELY waiting for his turn on the computer. He's got some CDs to burn into iTunes, so I should be a nice mama and let him have it. Perhaps later I'll get the rest of the pics from the play and the scout outing loaded into the slide show for your entertainment.

Lord, Help Me Make the Switch!

THIS is how I'm feeling right now. I've been trying to make "the switch" to blogger beta, since, whether we want to or not, we all will ultimately have to either make the switch to blogger beta or to another host. Simple enough process, I figured, since Blogger pretty much walks you through everything. It's geared towards severely technologically impaired people like me who either like to do things simply, without worrying about formats, codes, and all that stuff or those, me included, who just don't get all the mumbo jumbo with html and blah blah blah. Sure, I'll make the switch tonight, and tomorrow I'll have this great new blog.

Not so, my dear friends. It keeps asking me to create a user id and password...which do. Then it tells me that my password is incorrect (not that it's too short or doesn't meet their specifications for a password). Ok, fine. I created a different password. Then it tells me that my email address is missing the @somewhere.something part. Ok, fine! Since it didn't tell me what to put as the @somewhere.something part, I just used my regular email address (because it said it had to be an existing email address). Nope. Not good enough. Guess why. Come on, I dare ya. "That email is already in use by another user." Yeah! ME!

I'm stressed. I'll try again tomorrow. Sadly, though, this has totally blown my post for today...and it was a good one, too, though I don't remember what about. GRRRRRR - oh, yeah, that's right -- HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!!!!!! TE AMO!!!

What a Wonderful Resource YOU Are!

I promised you a post on Parent-Teacher conferences. They were pretty much what I expected except that SmallBoy has had a much more difficult time holding it together. He's having angry outbursts in class, he's melting much more frequently and reacting poorly when someone asks him what's wrong. Academically, he's doing fine. I've been doing some work with him at home, work that we do at my job (a program I HIGHLY recommend for those with decoding and/or symbol imagery and/or comprehension weaknesses) and his last reading test was beautiful. It was mainly comprehension and he scored a 97%! I must be doing something right with that.

He's having difficulty, however, doing more than the absolute bare minimum of an assignment and becoming extremely agitated if asked to put in more effort. I know that when PC, Meem, Mom (GR) & I went to the conference with Dr. Baker, he had some suggestions on this, so I'll have to look at my notes. One example, when, PC and I first noticed his resistance to doing the whole assignment was when the class had to bring in an article from the newspaper about the mid-term elections, and talk about it to the class. He and I went through the paper and looked for something shorter and something with a bit of a different twist than what we thought the rest of the class might bring in. We found a short article about how, despite the new voting "technology", there were still entirely too many glitches. Obviously, an article written in the Chicago Tribune about an election is going to require some "translation," which I did. SmallBoy, however, took that as a substitute for reading the article. He did NOT wish to read it at all. It got so ugly that I, Ms Calm Cool & Collected, told him, "Fine. If you don't wish to read it, then you will have to take the consequences when Mrs. M asks you to explain it to the class."

So, anyway, we chatted about that at conferences and Mrs. M asked us for more ideas on how to help him out of a meltdown, how to help keep him focused, how to keep the outbursts at a minimum. These have really been reaching a peak over the last few weeks and we haven't noticed them, at home, anyway, until early last week. This morning I emailed the teachers. Oh - I forgot, the other 4th grade teacher asked PC & I if we can come in and present SmallBoy's Book to HER class (Marti...WOW!). We're SO excited. Here's what I wrote to the teachers:

Good Morning Ladies -

After speaking with you both at conferences on Thursday, we proceeded to SmallBoy's occupational therapy and spoke with his OT for suggestions. She suggested that perhaps a system of reward motivators that can be carried over to home so that his rewards stay consistent and come, ultimately, from my husband and myself. You could simply use a corner of the chalkboard and make a mark of some sort, without putting his name on it, or he could keep a card on his desk to keep track. That way, he's not receiving any extra special attention/rewards that the rest of the class is not. What he earns that day could be communicated home.

The system we use at home is a star system. The number of stars he receives is equivalent to the task he performs or the task & the lack of complaining. Additionally, he will receive stars for pulling himself out of a meltdown, if he does something without being asked, if he goes out of his way to help someone, if he demonstrates superb behavior, etc.

He uses these stars in exchange for video game/computer time with each star equivalent to 5 minutes.

To help make this system transfer from school to home, and vice versa, I've taken a cue from some fellow parents with children on the spectrum. They send a notebook back and forth to school each day to create a constant communication between the parents and the teacher. For example, if SmallBoy had a great day, but melted at one point over something, you could let me know. If he had a difficult time on his homework, or had a really rough morning, I could let you know. Even better, if he had a fantastic day, or was ready to melt over something and found a way to pull himself out.... We could also communicate about the stars he had earned that day.

Another suggestion his OT had was as far as keeping him focused or bringing his engine back down to a regulated level. What she has found works for him is giving him a sour candy. This works with homework, too. I expressed to her that candy in the classroom probably was not a huge possibility, but she mentioned to me how brilliant teachers are at subtlety and that simply walking past his desk and dropping a few near him (we would be happy to supply the stash), or if he could keep some in his desk and you could cue him when you notice he needs one, "SmallBoy, what can you use to bring your engine down?" or "SmallBoy, where's your engine right now?" (something like that).

After thinking more on what a hard time he's been having lately, we realized that our multiple schedules (Cub Scouts, OT, Girl's non-stop sports, meetings, work, etc...) have finally all collided creating many nights in a row when none of us are home together for any length of time. Additionally, our dog has been growing increasingly sicker and will, in all likelihood, be put down this week, on which he's been dwelling, plus, the "off" schedule of the last week has thrown him quite a bit. We were hoping that this week would be a bit calmer, since next week is going to be a shortened week for him, too, but it's even more crazy than the last few. We've made a visual calendar of just this week, though, so that he can see what activities are going on, and for whom, and on what days. I'm hopeful that will assist in his anxiety, especially now that the rest of us have a visual and can plan some quiet SmallBoy time accordingly.

Let me know what you think about these suggestions.

Ms. R - Looking at my schedule, I am unable to get away from the office until the first week of December, as my boss is out of town at a conference this week, and then on vacation for 2wks. However, if we can schedule the 6th or 7th of December. Also, I can check with my husband for his availability and perhaps he can come in and present sooner. As in Mrs. M's class, I know that SmallBoy would appreciate being a part of the presentation, so I would like to also coordinate with Mrs. M a time when we could "borrow" SmallBoy.

Thank you so much for taking the time to spend "learning" SmallBoy, and for working so closely with us. We appreciate the fact that he has such caring teachers, and a compassionate atmosphere in which to learn and grow. Again, let me know your opinions on the suggestions and if you have any others.

Sincerely,
MG & PC

I would LOVE any other brilliant ideas or suggestions that any of YOU may have. You see where I already swiped the Communication Notebook (why haven't I been doing that all along? DUH!). You, my blog family, have been such an incredible fountain of knowledge & wisdom, and one of the many things for which I am truly thankful!

Signs of Life

Hi all! I am, indeed, still alive. I've been terribly busy and just haven't had the time or the motivation to write lately.

Way back on the 11th, Meem, GR, PC & I had the opportunity to attend a lecture given by Dr. Jed Baker on Social Skills and Frustration Management in Children on the Spectrum, most specificially Asperger's. I was hoping to have been the good little student and have translated and shared all of my notes with you by now. Well, I didn't. Oops. However, I must say that, as a result, we've taken a couple of Dr. Baker's ideas and made them work for us. We now use our dry erase board to help our Not-So-Smallboy keep track of the STARS that he earns. He can earn stars by helping us out with a chore, by doing a chore, by avoiding a meltdown, by remembering all of the necessary materials for his homework, by finding a solution to a problem he's having, by getting ready for school on time, etc.... Each star is worth 5 minutes of computer or video game time (see how I killed two birds with one stone?)

So, on the board we have his stars, we let him draw and erase them. We also keep a "bank log" so that he sees #Stars = x, Time = y, so that he can easily determine how much he has available. The challenges that we've found with this system really involve his accountability once he gets ON the games: "So, SmallBoy, how long have you been playing Star Wars?"

"10 minutes."

This is when LargeBoy or Girl interject with, "Um, I don't think so. It's been more like 1/2 an hour."

Our solution was to have SmallBoy "log in" on the dry erase board when he began using his stars. Ideally, that would give HIM the visual when he argued how long he had been online or playing games on the Xbox. We would be able to say,

"SmallBoy, you logged in at 4:40. It's now 5:10. You've been playing for 30minutes. That's 6 stars."

"But...but...but...it only felt like 2 stars!"

Then we can show him the clock. He doesn't like that the time flies so quickly, but he understands better when he sees the visual. Then he reluctantly erases his stars. The BEST part, though, is that he has a constant goal. He ALWAYS wants more time, so, more often than not, he's willing to do something to earn stars. I have found that this is an extremely helpful tool when trying to get him to pull out of a meltdown...or to avoid one.

Girl made her confirmation this past Saturday. If you're familiar with the Catholic church, you know that this is one of THE LONGEST services...regular mass, but with all of the confirmands (in this case I believe there were about 60 or so) receiving the sacrament after the homily. Then everyone still has to go up for Communion. Realistically, this is about a 2hour mass. Currently, our gorgeous church is undergoing some major renovations. The confirmands were graced with the Holy Scaffolding around the altar for decorations and, in the true Catholic tradition of patience, penitence, & guilt, we were sitting on metal folding chairs because all fo the pews were being replaced. You can imagine what kinds of ASD triggers these are going to be....long mass, more-uncomfortable-than-normal seating, crowded church so no one can see, big ugly scaffolding, and a LOT of stuff going on.

So, we prepped our Not-So-SmallBoy. He didn't want to go - and anyone can understand. I mean, church, to children, is boring as a rule and he knew he was going to be sitting through a long one. So, we put the carrot in front of the proverbial horse and dangled the Stars! I offered him stars for making it through the mass (he wasn't sitting with me as I was a sponsor for S, Girl's best friend), and then we offered him stars for making it through the dinner afterwards (with Ex, New Wife, GR, Meem, Poppy, S's family in a VERY crowded and VERY LOUD restaurant - he was amazing), and then because he did SO well, PC tacked on another bonus star.

See where I'm going with this? We've found something that works for us. We also found a new trick. You know how when our darling ASD-ers get so frustrated that they "yell" back at us in response to something we say? Dr. Baker used the example of saying, "Are you yelling at me?" or "Are you raising your voice at me?" Yes, the kids are frustrated, but this helps them check HOW they're using their voices. I've only remembered to use it with SmallBoy a couple of times, but it's proven effective, as he realizes that he is, in fact, talking to us in a manner that he doesn't like and that it's because he's frustrated. That, then, helped him to realize what the problem was and voice it appropriately.

There were so many wonderful aspects of this day with Dr. Baker and I promise I will, ultimately, get all of the notes translated for you. In the meantime, I hope that my two big "breakthroughs" can be of use to YOU! I'll post some pics from Girl's confirmation soon (she looked so beautiful - and she took my Grandmother's name as her confirmation name).

Sunday at GR's

I mentioned before that we spent Sunday evening at my mother's baking again. Here are the pics. There are some really goofy ones of Girl and some silly ones of the Not-So-SmallBoy! Here we go!


I let LargeBoy drive the last couple of miles to my mother's house. It was a straightaway, for the most part, but a street that involved going 40mph, AND on a highway divided only by the double yellow line, a first for the LargeBoy. We were going to wash MY car when we got there, but Mom's was first in, so SmallBoy took it upon himself to take care of GR's car...sadly, the Acura is NOT mine, I drive a wagon.


After the car washing, SmallBoy was soaked. He took off his shirt and rolled up his pants. Here he is hugging my Chica while sporting the Huck Finn look! It was so cute!


20minutes he ran on GR's treadmill. He went on his own, set the speed and ran the entire 20minutes. They say he loves to do this when he visits. Go figure. If we had a treadmill, it would turn into a clothes rack, as was the fate of the Nordic Trak I once owned. Good for SmallBoy, though! I don't think I could do 20minutes on a treadmill if you paid me!


Moe, Larry, and Curly at their best. Oh yes, they were most definitely posing...what gave it away? Can you guess what we had for dinner?


Oh she's going to be so pissed that I posted this picture! Baby Goowah being her royal dorkness while forming her loaf for the pan!


Girl & GR...I love photos like this. These are the classics. I wish I had more pics like this with my grandma. Instead I have them permanently burned into my memory...not a bad place to be.


Girl & Chica - gee, I wonder where she gets her weirdness. I tell you, it skipped me, went right to my sister who used my kids as a human shield when Mom uttered the words to The Mother's Curse, "I hope someday YOUR kids act JUST LIKE YOU!"


Girl and me. We had a flour fight. Guess who won. I made the mistake of wearing my glasses that day. It took FOREVER to get them clean! The flour clung to my hair like sand. It took me two washes to get it all out! I swear my hair is permanently changed to a much duller color now.


Remember "Miss Susie Had a Steamboat?" This was SO not that! The new one is "Gawn Girl" (translated 'Go On Girl'). This was the easy part. It was the complicated moves that were the most hysterical. GR caught on though, and by the end she had the claps, the slaps, and the snaps all in the right places!


We were supposed to be demonstrating the newest exercise ball thing that we had learned at OT, but someone's engine was WAY too high. The Not-So-SmallBoy was bouncing off the walls and rolling across the living room, still looking like Huck Finn.

We had a blast! Thanks Mama, for letting us invade...oh yes, and for feeding us. It's so much more fun than making our OWN dinner! Love you lady! Hope you feel better soon!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GOO-WAH ("Girl" in cute baby talk)

...because when she's being cute that's how she says it. She'll kill me for posting this pic, but I love it! I have more to post later from Sunday night at GR's (we baked again), but this is her happy birthday post. 14 today. This morning she woke up to her birthday sign, which I had made with markers and nail polish (I'll take a picture of her room so you can understand), cranked up "You're Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile," from Annie, and danced around the living room like when she was little, then put on "I Think About You," by Colin Raye (HER song from when she really was a baby goo-wah) and was happy as a clam. PC stopped to get her a mocha (her favorite), but they took so long this morning, that she had to put it in the fridge for later, and then they took off to school with a million angel food cupcakes for class treats, and a cake pan of angel food cake for treats at her soccer game. I'm hoping for rain so that the cake comes home!

Her friends threw her a surprise party on Saturday. She had NO clue and was thrilled to pieces. We had a gig, so I didn't get to experience the surprise, but I'm holding out for pictures.

To the first of my October Babies,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!

You will always be my Baby Goo-wah.

Pics to Go With Post Below

I promised pics, so here they are. Scroll down to the post below or click here.

Here are SmallBoy & GR kneading the bread dough.

Not-So-SmallBoy using his muscles to mix the muffin batter - LOTS of Peanut Butter Measuring out the dough to fill the muffin cups 3/4 full

Working together with GR to put together a cool dinosaur puzzle (from Meem) while waiting for the muffins to cook and the bread dough to rise. Holy yeast cakes, Batman! Look what happened to our dough! The Beautiful Golden Goodness The Sock Monster heading towards the stairs Front View on the porch! Hope you enjoyed our pics! Now scroll down more and read the other post!

Baking With the Not-So-SmallBoy

Forgive my lack of pics, I'll post those from home after my date with my husband. He started a new job that has him working an enormous amount of hours and I haven't seen much of him lately. Tonight we're going out for a nice romantic Italian dinner - WITHOUT THE KIDS!

This weekend, with PC working and Girl & LargeBoy with Ex (of course SmallBoy was with me), I had the pleasure of having my SmallBoy -oops Not-So-SmallBoy - all to myself, and he had me. It was something we haven't done in a LONG time and, I must say, it was wonderful. We did lots of things, I let him play his video game and explain every step to me, we were bad and ate Fat Sandwiches (Peanut Butter & bacon on toast) in front of the TV, and then had a Spongebob marathon....and that was just Friday night!

Saturday we called GR and asked her to come over and bake with us. Baking is so good for him. He learns to measure, learns to follow directions, works on his muscle tone by mixing, and, all the while, learns to cook! We baked two loaves of white bread and a batch of peanut butter muffins. Don't worry, I'll post the pics....we are entirely too proud of our Beautiful Golden Goodness to NOT share the photos with you, heck one of the pics became our desktop on the laptop at home!

Meem had ordered a body sock for SmallBoy for his birthday and it arrived in time for him to try it out this weekend. He LOVES it! He very much enjoys the sensory input that he gets from it, but what he really enjoys is walking around the house in it thinking he's a big Hug-Monster out to hug us all! Personally, I think he looks like a big blue Gumby. He used to sleep in his sensory tunnel at night - that made such an incredible difference in his sleeping..he slept longer and sounder. Now he sleeps inside his sock inside his tunnel.

My 10y/o Not-So-SmallBoy is doing beautifully. I'm so proud of him. He is one of my heroes! Oh, remind me to share with you a couple of pics from OT last night...see this is the prob with posting from work and forgetting to forward the pics to my office. Hmm!

Pics from the Big 1-0 (and I'm Home Alone & SO Bad)

This is how I found my Not-So-SmallBoy yesterday morning - extremely excited about turning 10, you see....well, he WAS still asleep. He LOVES to sleep in his sensory tunnel with his covers pulled over his head. I have MANY more pictures to share with you from his big day, but I saw what a giant bite (or byte, if you will) the last monster picture post took out of my blog, so I'll only post a few. At the moment, I am HOME ALONE!!!!!! I don't think this has happened in, wow, well over a year. PC is working tonight and the kids are with Ex for a birthday dinner for SmallBoy - yeah, I know - shocked? I think he's trying to put up a front. He picked them up at 4:30 and it's almost 6, so they should be home soon. Anyway, while I have time alone, I'm being incredibly bad and eating terribly: Overly buttered noodles, lightly dusted with garlic & parmesan. Oh, who am I kidding, there's enough garlic in there to kill every vampire in Transylvania! Wait...it gets better...I'm eating while using the computer AND I'm eating it out of the pan I cooked it in!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to have one hell of a stomach ache later, though. Ok, more pics!

Yesterday was my FIL's birthday also, so we went by Meem's & Poppy's to celebrate. We had pizza for dinner, since it is one of SmallBoy's absolute favorites and red velvet cake for dessert...Sal, I couldn't help but think of you! The red velvet cupcakes he took to school gave me quite a scare that night, though, when in the middle of dinner at Meem's, SmallBoy was screaming in the bathroom. He had gone in with a stomache ache, so I tore off like a bat out of hell to see what was wrong. He was complaining about the pain, said he made LOTS of #2, so I did the mom thing and took a peek to check the consistency (I know, TMI). My heart dropped to my stomach when I looked into the toilet to see blood red water staring right back at me. I returned to my senses (slightly) when I realized, DUH, that it was the dye from the cupcakes. Here's my Not-S0-SmallBoy showing off his rollerblades. He really was excited, though he moved them so fast through my attempt at capturing the moment, that when I asked him to do it again, he got a little pissed off. Oh well. He LOVES rollerblading! Thanks, GR!

OOOEEEWWWHHH - tummy's starting to hurt, perhaps I should stop eating these noodles. I think I will, but, I think I'll grab a beer to wash them down - I'm AWFUL, aren't I? And no, I haven't washed the pan yet! Hmm!

Here are SmallBoy & Poppy sharing the fun of blowing out their candles. My NSSB came home with some GREAT presents - a HUGE dinosaur puzzle, his roller blades, some really cool books, including one about wolves (he LOVES wolves), a fishing game (recommended by the fabulous OT, J), some clothes, a calendar that he can change & personalize each month with stickers and a dry erase marker (because things DO change), and a whole bunch of other great stuff - INCLUDING the still-to-be-delivered body sock that Meem & Poppy got for him. He was SO excited! What was really cool, though was his reaction to the gift from PC & me. After all of this cool stuff, I wasn't expecting much more than an "oh, gee, thanks," for our gift. We all know how HUGE it is for a child on the spectrum to make, and maintain, friendships. SmallBoy has some really key friends and a couple of them happened to be at the concert in the park that Code West put on last month. Girl and S got all the boys to line up on the stairs to the stage and took a pic. So, we had it framed and gave that to him (another ordeal, if I haven't already written about it, perhaps I'll tell you another time). His face LIT up. What I read in that face and the gigantic thank you and hug that followed, was that THIS was a gift that he would value and treasure forever. It wasn't something he would outgrow like clothes or outgrow and not want to play with like toys and games. It was a memory and a reminder that he has good friends. It will always be there for him when he's having a "nobody likes me" moment. It will make him happy. When I got home from work, the bag of gifts that we brought home was still sitting on the landing, waiting to be taken upstairs. LargeBoy said to me, "Mom, you should be very happy - yours is the only gift that made it out of the bag and into his room," and it's sitting on his desk, next to his bed, right next to the pic of him and our first dog. That made me feel so good.

I really wanted to show you a GREAT poster that Girl made for him, but it's got his name on it - something I'd rather didn't go on the blog (not like it matters, his pic is all over the place, but it would TOTALLY throw the whole pseudonym stuff for a loop. Before we left to go home, SmallBoy put together his fishing game. In OT, J used it to help with eye hand coordination and fine motor skills. I gotta tell ya...it's not an easy game. The object is to catch as many of your color fish (if your playing with more than one player). The game is motorized, going around in a circle. The fish, in turn, open their mouths for about 1 second. In that second, you have to try and "hook" the with this plastic fishing pole. It ain't easy. I found myself trying to time the opening of the mouths...LOL Here are SmallBoy and Meem's cat, Meatball...who do you think wants to catch the most fish?

Well...it's almost 6:30 and Ex hasn't brought the kids home yet. My tummy is very happy and full from my noodley badness, and my beer is still cold, and relatively full, since I've been typing away. I should probably go and wash my dishes so I feel like I accomplished SOMETHING in my time alone.

Ladies & Gentlemen, Not-So-Smallboy (or NSSB)!

Playing the battery game this morning, I don't have the pic posted yet, but I will this evening.

My baby, my youngest, my last little one has now hit double digits. Such milestones this year. LargeBoy is learning to drive, Girl is in 8th grade, and my SmallBoy has become a Not-So-SmallBoy. I'm teetering on the emotional fence somewhere between elation and sadness, not knowing whether to let out a big "WOO-HOO!" because I'm closer to my "freedom," or a big "BOO-HOO!" because my babies are all growing up.

Not-So-SmallBoy was elated when he woke up this morning, but letting go of 9 was not easy for him. He was afraid that there would be too many changes, that as soon as he woke up in the morning he would be different from when he went to bed. There were frets & worries, sadness, anxiety, and just general sniffles.

"Of course", I assured him, "you will be the same boy when you wake up, the ONLY thing that will be different is that you can now proudly hold up two whole hands when people ask how old you are."

I think he's excited again, and ready to take on the world. He's eating up this independence thing and I see that it's beginning to do a world of good for him. I know that he'll enjoy being 10 just as much as he enjoyed being 9. There will be a lot of changes this year, but nothing more than any other year. Things WILL change with the way he feels about himself. Things WILL change with the amount of responsibility & independence he receives. Things WILL change with the way he interacts with those around him. Things WILL change with his father - I will see to that. Things WILL change with the way he feels towards others. Yes, my Love, things will change, but the change isn't a bad thing or anything to be feared.

My SmallBoy is now a Not-So-SmallBoy. He took red velvet cake cupcakes to school today, and we're having pizza and red velvet birthday cake tonight at Meem's & Poppy's (it's Poppy's bday also). He will be surrounded by those who love him. Girl made him THE birthday sign for this morning (I'll post a pic when I do the battery juggle tonight). When we lived in our old house, we would always take a big sheet of paper or wrapping paper and make birthday signs for the kids, decorate them, sign them, and post them on the back door. When we moved into the new house, we stopped doing this...not for any particular reason. We decided that THIS was definitely the time to resurrect this tradition, especially for such a big birthday for such a wonderful kid.

I don't have a birthday present for him. In my moment of dorkness, I made a HUGE error. Here's what happened. When our band played at one of the local parks, Not-S0-SmallBoy's (NSSB's) friends were there, and we got a GREAT pic of them together. I uploaded it to kodak gallery, ordered it in a great boy-ish frame and had it 2day shipped so I'd definitely have it in time. I should have had it Thursday, but was so wrapped up the week's craziness that I didn't realize I was missing it. I checked the FedEx site on Friday and it said it had been delivered at 11:09am, left on the porch (because I had waived the signature requirement since I KNEW I wouldn't be home, and didn't have it sent to work for some reason). I scoured the house, asked the kids if they had brought it in. Nope. Nothing. Checked FedEx's site again. After looking a little more closely I discovered it had been delivered at 11:09 the day before! At this point I was getting upset. So I looked at my confirmation from the kodak site....THIS is when I noticed my error. I ordered it from work and was having it shipped home. Yep. You guessed it. I had it shipped to my house number on the street that my office is on. JUMPED in the car and went to that house. Of course no one had seen it. WHY would someone want it? For the frame, maybe? Anyway, I called FedEx and left them a mssg that if someone should return it to please deliver it to a different address. I ordered a new pic from Walgreen's, had LargeBoy & PC pick it up, and Mom found a frame at Target. It will be fine, but ...UGH... it's not what I had done. Oh well, all is not lost. Now I just have to find time (and some cash) to get a bday present for my FIL (yeah, we sort of slacked on that). PC has to work late and has the bank card, and I have to use the cash in my wallet to get gas! YIKES. It'll all work out, though...always does.

I'll get pics posted ASAP. In the meantime, wish my Not-So-SmallBoy a VERY VERY VERY Happy 10th Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!