Back to School, Big Block of Wood Day Arrives, and SO Much More

Everyone goes back to school today! WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I'm having very mixed emotions about it - ecstatic because life now returns to some sense of our chaotic normalcy, making things more structured for our SmallBoy, yet distressed, saddened, disappointed because now things get crazy, SmallBoy might begin stressing again, more demands on our time (like there aren't too many already), but you know...today is the first day of back to school, yes, but it's one day closer to summer vacation!

SmallBoy's Party
Break went out with a bang, and a with feeling of perpetual motion. I don't recall sleeping very much this weekend either, and not for many really good reasons. Friday night, SmallBoy had his end of break sleepover with his friends. It went very well. SmallBoy was just happy that they had "ulimited" video game time. What they didn't realize was that we would periodically interrupt video time to do something else. Not too many meltdowns, not too much of "SmallBoy's rules only," and NO couch jumping! I think there was actually a time when they were all quiet. Sleep did not come easy Friday not, but, surprisingly, the four 9 & 10 yr old boys were not the reason, granted they were awake. The young college sophomore who lives next door to us was also having an end of break party. Loud, yet courteous, TONS of people, yet very polite, but loud - more the music and the talking outside. Our houses are so close that I could look out my window and feel like I'm in the room with them. The boys didn't sleep much either, but I think that was more due to the fact that I had forgotten to send the video game systems with LargeBoy when he went to bed.

For Christmas, we had given SmallBoy two games which he became familiar with while at OT, Tricky Fingers and Rush Hour Deluxe. Both games use problem solving and small motor skills (Tricky Fingers takes Small motor down to fine motor, though). Tricky Fingers consists of two square (ish) boxes filled with colored marbles. The bottom of each box has holes the size of the marbles. The object of the game is to manipulate the marbles with your fingers to create the pattern shown on a game card. What's spectacular about this game is that it can be played alone, or, in two different ways as a challenge - both players using the same card or each with his own. We pulled this game out as the kids were gathering their belongings and waiting to be picked up. It took a while, but once I got them interested in how "cool" this was, they were happy to turn off the video games to come and check it out.

The other game, Rush Hour (we have the Deluxe version), takes "puzzle" to a new level. The game is a grid of squares, "gridlock" cards at varying levels of skill, and plastic vehicles. The vehicles are placed on the grid according to the pattern on the card. The object is to clear a path so that the main car (in the regular version it's an ice cream truck, in ours it is a shiny red car) can make its way off of the gameboard. This game makes you think - the cars cannot be picked up and moved, nor can they turn - they can only move along the line of the grid upon which they rest. I have managed to get through the beginner stage with relative ease, and moved on somewhat successfully to the intermediate stage, while LargeBoy sat down and completed all 15 of the Grand Master skill level cards. SmallBoy LOVES this game, and loves to come and help me out of my "jams" too. It takes the whole Temple Grandin theory of thinking in pictures to a new level. I sort of saw that this game would definitely be one that would involve the visual-ness that our ASD'ers so often use, but it wasn't until I was stuck on a puzzle last night and LargeBoy enlightened me with "Well, Mom, you sort of have to think of it as a picture and work backwards from there," that it clicked and the lightbulb switched on. I HIGHLY recommend these games! They'll be good for the kids, but trust me, you'll find yourself drawn to them.

New Band
Saturday afternoon we finally had the opportunity to rehearse as a full band: PC, ET, Joey Pinks, Dreverb, and me. We had done a couple of mini-rehearsals with Joey Pinks so that the guitars would be on the same track before we went into a full rehearsal, so it wasn't a totally foreign thing, and for one, we had ET there banging on some congas (in lieu of a full drum kit). Saturday afternoon though, we gathered in the basement with all of us, all of our equipment, and amps, and we sounded, not like a band playing together for the very first time, but like a band that was ready to roll. We just gelled and it all came together: the personalities, the talent, the outlook on what we each wanted to do and where we wanted to go with the music. It was fantastic. We topped the night off by going to hear Joey Pinks play in one of his other bands (he's very, well, busy). Phenomenal!

Happiness
We were all completely wiped out by late Saturday afternoon, between SmallBoy's lack-of-sleep over party, the party next door, and rehearsal, that when we returned home from rehearsal, all of us just needed to crash. PC went to take ET back home and SmallBoy was craving some snuggle/squeeze time, not to mention that he was dead tired, too. LargeBoy was on the couch playing video games so SmallBoy and I snuggled up, also on the sofa, smushing Largeboy into a corner. We snuggled and relaxed. Before I knew it, my sweet angel was asleep. My arm was dead asleep underneath him and my neck was kinked badly from the awkward way that I was laying, but I was so content. The combination of SmallBoy's "sleep breathing" and his little heart just beating away made it feel like he was purring. It's been a long time since he's fallen asleep on me like that - without being sick and suffering through an asthma attack. This was pure bliss. I was so content, and having such the "happy mommy" moment, that I forgot all about the dead limb and the krick in the neck, and dozed off right along side him. Peaceful.

Big Block of Wood Day
Sunday, the day designated as the day of rest, the final day of winter break for the kids, the day that's meant to be the one on which you either sit around and do nothing, or you cram in everything that you didn't get done during the rest of the week. We spent Sunday running non-stop. Girl had softball practice, now mandatory, from 11:30 - 12:45 at one of the local private high schools' gyms, SmallBoy had to be at school by 12:30 for the official weigh-in for the Pinewood Derby, and then Girl had to be back at our gym by 12:45 for a basketball game against the rivals from the rich suburb to our immediate west. It was sheer insanity, but we made it work. The only other thing we had to juggle was how to be at SmallBoy's derby and and Girl's game at the same time.

The Pinewood Derby runs by Den, starting with the youngest, the Tiger Scouts. SmallBoy's den, Weebelos I, is the second oldest, so they run second to last. The race, that was supposed to begin at 1:00, finally got underway at 1:45 after all of the rules and all of the admonishments for "stepping across, or crossing the plane of, THE LINE with any body part were laid out, and where the scouts were allowed to sit and where they were not allowed to even breathe near (given of course by Mr. Former Cub Master - you know, the one who said and did those mean things to SmallBoy at camp). Girl's game started at 1:30. While the race got underway, I bolted down to the gym to watch the 2nd quarter of her game, as it was clear that SmallBoy's den would not be running for a while. The girls were playing the team that everyone wants to beat. They played them and lost over break, once before break, and will play them again for the final home game of the regular season - which is our big spirit night. When I arrived, we were down by 9 with 3minutes left in the half. All of a sudden, one of our girls hits 2 three pointers and then hits a jumper with a foul. She missed her free throws, but suddenly, at the half, we were only down by one point, there was hope. I bolted back down to the derby, filled in the other parents who were also trying to do double duty (there are a lot of them at our school), and sent PC back to the gym. At 2:15, SmallBoy's den still wasn't close to running, so I talked to him and to a couple of the dads and went back down to the gym. Sadly, the girls ended up losing, but they played their butts off.

FINALLY it was time for our den. PC and SmallBoy had this nervous energy just exuding from them while I tried desperately to conceal - and manage - my anxiety pangs as I strategized in my head, and with PC about how we were going to handle the meltdown if he lost, crashed, or didn't make it to the finish line. First three boys raced. There was a wreck, it was beautiful, every one laughed and the race was re-run. Then it was SmallBoy's heet. We inhaled, 3 - 2 - 1...car one pulls away, car two comes up from behind, car three rolls to a stop on the straightaway, that was ours. We watched as SmallBoy's frustration level went up and he put on his mad face (and it's a doozy). I said to him, "SmallBoy, BREATHE! BREATHE!" And he did. He was pissed off, but he was ok.

Phew, round one done. Two more heets and it was our turn again. I prayed, promised God I would sing 7:30am mass for the rest of my life, inhaled and watched the whole scenario play out again, only this time, our car was in a different lane. Still stopped on the straightaway. I guess God knew that I had no intention of doing a year 7:30 masses. Again, "SmallBoy, BREATHE! The frustration rose even higher, and it was MUCH more difficult for him to manage his impending meltdown, but he did it. The leaders told us that we could make repairs to our car if needed. In our case, it was the tire. It hadn't cracked, it hadn't fallen off, it wasn't wobbly; no, it was something about the physical tire itself. It needed to be changed, but there was not enough time. PC and SmallBoy worked together to see if they could do ANYTHING AT ALL to make the car at least cross the finish line in the final run. If you look closely at the pic, you can even see SmallBoy is smiling.

Third run, different lane, same result. "WHAT?! I DON'T GET IT!" Oh, he was SO NOT a happy camper. I followed up with more directions to breathe, which he did. We was SO mad, but he did it, he pulled himself out of it and went on to cheer on his friends, including Dreverb's son, who was also racing that day, and, whom he had met for the first "official" time yesterday. As stressful as the race was for all of us, I was incredibly pleased to see that all of the prep work that we had done with SmallBoy and, invariably, with ourselves, paid off. I would definitely call it a success.

MaizeyCat Sunflower
Those of you who are at least my age might have some kind of a flashback to the words, "Klondike Cat Alwaaaays gets his mouse!" Anyone? Anyone? Klondike Cat, as I remember, was one of the cartoons on The Underdog Show. He was tormented by the mouse, Savoir Faire and his classic howl of escape, "Savoir Faire eees everywhere!" This phrase has been running through my head since yesterday when my lovely OCF FINALLY caught and killed the mouse. We had to take it away from her because she was planning on having it for a snack. Now, I know that cats eat mice all the time, but this was just to gross for words, so we decided to nip it in the bud. Once we had all settled from our mouse-capades, Maizey appears with ANOTHER mouse in her clutches. This one was just a little baby and I was having some serious mommy issues, but I quickly got past them. Sadly, we were a tad too late in taking it from her, and she'd already begun to partake of the mouse. We were only able to throw out half of it, the other somewhere in cat-land. I think, I hope, that the other mice have learned from this, but I am so glad to know that IF they get in, I've got a damn good mouser. See how happy and contended she is in this pic. All curled up like a little fluffball. Good Girl Maizecat.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia
And before I leave you, after this LONG post, I wanted to introduce you to the newest daily post, at least for the next two weeks or so. SmallBoy received a Chia Pet - Garfield - for Christmas. We started his seeds on New Years Day and applied them on 1/2. The other day, we decided that we would start tracking its growth on a daily basis - it really IS amazing how this works and how quickly it grows. I leave you with yesterday's pic and the one from the day before. Tomorrow, I'll post today's picture. If nothing else, it's something fun to start the new year!
Saturday's Chia - 1/6/07. Girl is fascinated with the Chia and is obsessed with touching it - think it's a sensory issue? Nah, just Girl, she's silly that way!
Sunday's Chia - 1/7/07 - See! Look at this progress, it's amazing. Hours, maybe 4, later, it had already gotten a bit fuller. I've always joked about Chia's, but it's really kind of fascinating, and SmallBoy's totally getting into it, too, which is truly the best part!

Update: Girl stayed home with the flu today. I was going to send her to school - she's been headache-y for about 24hrs, couldn't sleep last night, but she's tough. I knew she'd be able to hang in. Then she hurled. Needless to say, she's home, on the couch today, watching movie after movie after movie, extending her break by a day (but what a crappy way to get an extra day - YUCK!)

Learning From Mistakes and a Lesson in Mousing

We gathered tonight to prepare for our first gig as a newly formed band. We also had a small furry little univited guest in our home. This made for an interesting night of fun and adventure. Before I expound upon MaizeyCat's adventure, I wanted to show you a specimen of learning from and correcting mistakes. While we were rehearsing tonight, we decided to give it another go with the mini-cam and take a new video of the newly arranged (and still being re-arranged) Blue Star Highway. It looks spectacular. We realized that there were some issues with the viewing of the last video and, when copying the code from the site, I realized that I had chosen the option of not allowing external sites to embed or, even view, the video - which explains why you could see it sitting there on my site (if you were lucky), but it would merely sit and display the ever-frustrating "LOADING..." message for an eternity. Here's our next attempt. It plays on MY computer, as did the last one - and on all of my sites - as long as they were viewed from MY computer. I hope that you can see this one!!



Back to the Mousing Lesson: Picture two cats - one black & white, one brown tortoise shell and extremely furry sitting watch for DAYS in the same spot - a hall doorway that connects that addition to the rest of the house. Imagine the black & white cat, the elder of the two, letting her vigil lag a bit so that she can observe and tutor the younger furball. Two cats. Sitting. Patiently. Watching. Waiting. Until SUDDENLYthe furball darts from the room like a lightening bolt. Those of us observing this thought that perhaps she had found some stray catnip lying around and had a little Cat Party of One. Then I saw that she had something in her mouse. Without looking close enough to identify the object, my gut told me, based on their actions of the last few days, that the unfortunate victim was the hunted mouse. We were ecstatic for our little OCF - she had caught her first mouse (that WE were aware of)! I, out of some sick instinct, screamed and jumped on a chair - I'm SO ashamed -, while PC sat right down and watched her, with the pride of a father watching his child master the skill that he had been teaching since the child was old enough to walk. He had the camera out, the words of encouragement. When Maizey would drop the mouse from her jaws to bat at it, the mouse, scrambling for any hope of escape and, its life, bolted with a brown-black ball of fur bolting behind at break-neck speed. The poor mouse would run, Maizecat would follow - except the one or two times she lost track of Sir Speedy. When that would happen, PC would direct her to the poor little varmit and encourage her not to give up the hunt.

This went on for quite a while, unfortunately with Mr. Mouse escaping into the scads of plastic grocery bags that we save for any number of occasions. Oh she was SO pissed off! All that, and no mousey for snack. We rewarded her for her effort with a tiny piece of turkey lunch meat. She sat. And watched. And waited. And is still waiting 5hours later. I don't think she'll be nestling her furry little face in my nose tonight while I'm sleeping. I bet she'll be up on patrol.

SmallBoy did ok with the mouse. Don't get me wrong, he freaked when he realized that Maizey had not killed and devoured the critter, so freaked, in fact, that he got to the point that when I sent him to brush his teeth, he was convinced that the newly drippy tub faucet was mice and refused to go back in. I assured him, hopefully without lying, that the mouse was no longer in the house - that if, indeed, it was still in the house, that MaizeCat had caught it and was having a nice little snackypoo. Outside of this episode, though, he was better at this mouse-in-the-house thing than I.

Ladies and Germs, I must hasten to bed, as my dearest husband is anxiously awaiting my arrival, and my head is very heavy. Let me know if you experience any problems with the video. As with the last, I linked it up on North Country's myspace. TTFN, my loves.

How Do You Spell Oy Vay?

The keeping of the Great Secret of Santa has proven to be an extremely, unbelievably difficult task for my Not-So-SmallBoy. I wrote yesterday about how we had given him something to keep in his pocket to help him keep his lip zipped whenever he felt the urge to share the news. At the time, I thought that was a BRILLIANT idea - and it was. What wasn't a good idea, was re-stressing the importance of not telling. My poor little guy had a REALLY awful day yesterday because of it - or at least, that's my theory.

About 3:15 yesterday, I got a call from Mrs. M, SmallBoy's teacher. She had started writing this in his communication notebook, but as she hit two pages (and she writes small), she figured that calling me was the better idea. The trouble started in social studies class, which he has with a different teacher, Ms. R. Ms. R is a wonderful teacher and is cued into all things SmallBoy also. PC and I went in to her classroom last week and presented the book and Asperger's to the class. As we did the first time, we were well received and the students were glad to have a "reason" that SmallBoy is the way he is and acts the way he acts. Kids are still kids, though, and, unfortunately, in social studies class, Ms. R. had them work in pairs, pairing SmallBoy with someone who likes him, but doesn't "get" him. They had a difference of opinion about which page the assignment started on, and SmallBoy melted - BIG TIME. Crying, yelling, your basic SmallBoy-having-a-really-shitty-day meltdown.

After class, Ms. R spoke with Mrs. M who suggested that she always, always, always pair SmallBoy with his best friend, his rock at school, PQ. PQ is such a wonderful boy and somehow, just knows how to read SmallBoy. I spoke with SmallBoy last night and questioned him, gently, about what he should do if he and his partner disagree on something - ask for help from another classmate or a teacher. He said, yes, he agreed this was the right solution.

That was just the first time. Once they were back in Mrs. M's class, they were starting Language Arts. In preparation for the next part of the lesson, she told the class to take out their practice books and put them on their desks, but not to start working in them until she gave the assignment. Yep, you guessed it - SmallBoy started working in the book - he knew the assignment, it was on the board. Mrs. M was fine with that, saw that he had started working and turned a blind eye - she's good with him that way. One of the other students, however, saw that SmallBoy had begun to work in the practice book and ratted him out. Of course, Mrs. M had to say something then, she couldn't just ignore it. Well, now the attention was drawn to him and he got upset. He got loud, yelled, didn't understand WHY he couldn't work in his book if he wanted to. Mrs. M explained that because she had given the directive NOT to work in the books until she said to, that the class, as a whole, including SmallBoy, had to wait.

He wasn't satisfied with that answer and laid down on the floor next to his desk - and continued working in his book. Mind you, he's not disturbing anyone, but he's not following the directions. Again, though, Mrs. M was willing to let SmallBoy be, as he was now quiet. A second student ratted him out this time. And that was that. Nuclear Meltdown.

He screamed. He cried. He yelled. He went under a desk in the back of the room - the quiet desk - still working in his practice book. Mrs. M told him that it would be just fine if he wanted to work there and cool out there, but that he had to end the yelling and crying. She asked if he'd rather lie on the floor in the hallway, but he wanted desperately to be in the classroom. All of a sudden he let out a yelp and started crying again. It turns out that he burned himself on one of the pipes in the classroom. The classes have radiator heat on that side, and Mrs. M always makes certain that once the students are in the room, the radiator is off. Unfortunately, the pipes that lead to it are still holding heat and steam. It wasn't a bad burn, just a little one, like if you brush your hand across the cookie sheet, but sensory issues plus already being in a "bad place" with his meltdown and his day, he was just lost then. I dont' remember how she finally got him to cool off, because by the time we had gotten to that part of the conversation, I was somewhere else in my head. I did manage to formulate a thought that perhaps, the behavior issues yesterday were linked somehow with SmallBoy focusing ALL of his energy and strength on NOT spilling the Santa secret. Mrs. M concurred, as did PC, that it's a very likely theory. He used everything he had to contain that, and just couldn't hold himself together any longer.

SmallBoy has been talking about how he's having a very difficult time with making/keeping friends at school and Mrs. M confirmed that yesterday. She said it seems as though the other students are keeping him at a distance because they never know if/when he's going to explode and what is going to set him off. I wish that I could be there with him so that I can head these off. I see them, I know how to handle them and bring them down, sometimes before they start. Nope. Gotta work. That sucks. I mean, I know he has to learn these things on his own, or he won't learn them for later in life. My heart just ripped in half, and I think my legs were wobbly until about 8:00 last night. We have OT tonight, so I'll mention it to J the Fabulous OT and see what suggestions she has.

Update: J the Fabulous OT just called- she's deathly ill. No OT tonight. CRAP! Not sure what to do. SmallBoy needs it desperately. I really do need to find somewhere in my house to put an OT studio - or to at least convert his bedroom into one.
<br>We also have the school Christmas program tonight, so it's going to be rush rush rush from one activity to another - but we've had a quiet week, so that's just fine. This year, will be our last year. We've had one child or another in the program for the last 10yrs or so. The children in grades 1 -3 do a little concert, and the three different orchestras play. The whole thing lasts maybe an hour, but it's a BIG DEAL. SmallBoy won't be in it this year, since he's in 4th grade, but Girl is playing with the orcestra. As an 8th grader, this is her last Christmas program. Hopefully we can get there in time to get good seats. This is SUCH a big deal, that the front 2 or 3 rows of center pews in the church are auctioned off for this program at our annual school auction - and they go for upwards of $800 - $1000 - THAT's how desperately people want good seats. The kids are adorable, though. Usually the entire first grade is missing teeth.

I'll bring my camera and hopefully get good pics of Girl playing. My new camera has a setting that lets you take good pics even in places you need a flash but aren't allowed to use one. I can't wait to show off all of the pictures that I'll be taking - once I learn all of the fun stuff. I'm not one to sit down and study manuals, but this camera has SO many cool features, that I would definitely be wasting my time and my money by not learning how to use everything. Posting my pics, however, proves incredibly difficult since I NEVER get to use my own computer. MOST of my posting is done at work because my computer is constantly in use by other people. I usually have to wait until midnight or later to get on. Last night, I fell asleep on the couch waiting for my turn. PC took this hysterical pic of me sleeping, and one of the OCFs all snuggled up next to me. Hopefully, someday, I'll be able to get another computer - one I can use - JUST for me. I bought this laptop so that I could write my book. Now there's about a smidgeon of memory left, creepy things that pop up, in, my "d" key sometimes works and sometimes doesn't, and out of my computer, the lap top mouse doesn't work, so I had to use one of my USB ports to plug in a mouse, and the other port is almost always in use charging someone's iPod. EEEK - and the damn thing's not even paid off yet!

Boy, I'm getting way too stressed, and it's barely 9am!

Untitled

I'm really not certain how to post this. We had to put our dog, Ella, who we affectionately call SmElla (cuz she stinks), down today. She was our "replacement dog," if you will. We had put our 11 y/o yellow lab, Buck, down about a year before we got her. My sister worked with someone who knew someone who was moving and going to put down his two labs if he couldn't find a home for them. Well, I had finally gotten past my I'm-Not-Getting-Another-Dog-Because-I've-Got-A-GORGEOUS-Garden stage, and was getting the cravings again (dog, NOT baby). I caved, and Ella became a member of our family; let me rephrase that You-you became a member of our family. We renamed her. Her sister's name was Me-Me (not Mimi). Yeah. Awful.

She was pretty high strung, as is typical of yellow labs. We were told she was 3yrs old. We were just so excited to have a dog again, that we figured she'd outgrow the hyperactivity, like our other yellow lab did. She did pretty ok at staying out of the garden because she didn't like to be outside more than to do what a dog needs to do outside. She much preferred the inside and some would call her an attention whore - to the point of obnoxious. But we loved her.

She was the elephant in the china shop. Labs have a tail that can clear a coffee table just by walking past it at the same time the tail wags....but that would be all the time. Even up til this morning, when she was in so much pain, the tail never stopped. No, it didn't wag as much or with as much enthusiasm, but it wagged. A Lot.

I thought that telling SmallBoy what was happening was hugely important. He's 10yrs old, it's not like I could just make up some BS story, and it's important that he is learning about the tough things in life, and dealing with sadness and acceptance. I was forthright with him. I told him that Ella was sick and in a lot of pain and that we would be taking her in to the vet this week. He asked if she was going to the vet so that she could die. It was with the sweetest innocence. I told him that she was old, and in a lot of pain. That she had to keep chewing at her pain so much, that she would make herself bleed. He knew that, he knew why she had been in a cone since summer. He's seen the bloodied sofa cushions and saw, every night and every time we left the house, that we piled chairs, ottomans, speakers, whatever we could, on top of the sofas to keep her off of them because, even with the cone on, she still managed to get to some part of her rear quarters.

I felt awful when we talked. He asked, "Mommy, is the doctor going to kill her?" And it truly was innocent, not accusatory in any way. I replied with, "Sweetie, the doctor knows that we can't do anything to make her better and that she needs to be relieved from her pain. The doctors will help her to die gently so that she doesn't hurt anymore." Then, knowing how incredibly literal Aspies are, I felt it necessary to add, "That's just the way it is with animals. Not people." He made his peace with it, said his good-byes and was ok. He should be getting home from school right now to a house now ruled by the cats - ok, so they always ruled, but you get my drift. I hope he is able to pull upon that memory and remember that he understood why this was necessary.


PC brought home her chain. I'll let SmallBoy keep it. LargeBoy has Buck's chain. We will all miss her. She was a good dog who loved EVERYONE, and loved to be loved. She was faithful, loyal, and everything a dog should be. Rest in peace, Ella B.

Cookies and Code West

The only reason that I'm awake and posting right now, after a very late night playing with the band, is that I had to get up and sing at 9:00 mass this morning. Take the "outside voice" that I use for the band, use it to it's fullest potential inside of a smokey bar, while consuming only water, and the product the next morning is pretty scary. Of course drinking the water made it recover much more quickly. I think after the opening hymn I was ok, the psalm was a little shaky, but after that...BAM! I was ok.

Girl's class had a bake sale after all of the masses today to raise funds for all of the fun stuff they do this year. Each family was required to bake 5 items, or 5 plates of items, for the sale. We made my grandmother's chocolate chips, toffee bars, and lemon bars. We had plenty! We spent our Friday night of nothing to run to in the kitchen. LargeBoy was out, so PC ordered a pizza. He and Girl went to the grocery store to get our baking supplies, SmallBoy and I did some quick OT, and then we hit the mixers. Would my post be complete without pics? No way! So here are a few for your enjoyment:





What I really enjoy about THIS pic is the cookie dropper he's using. In theory, his motor skills should make this incredible difficult, yet he did it with ease, while I struggled doing it the way my mom always does with a spoon & knife. Here's a pic of Girl. She was bummed that I didn't take any pics of her baking, since this was for HER bake sale, so I took one of her licking the spoon.



...and one of her getting groomed by our OTHER OCF, Charley - she does this when you have wet hair or when she's feeling particularly lovey - which isn't very often because she's more of your typical aloof cat.



Sometimes she'll even hold your head while she chews your hair. It's quite hysterical.

Our band played last night at a bar that gives us a mixed feeling. We played our very first gigs there for minimal pay and were absolutely elated about it. Since then our relationship with this bar has changed tremendously, but they called and asked us to play, so we did. When we first started there, we weren't very good at all, but we worked our butts off and, after a while, we picked it up. This is also the same place where PC & I met, and where we fired our first guitar player to hire PC. We rocked. I stood on chairs, PC and I totally played off of one another, I played with the band..we had a blast and were a far cry from the first time we ever played there.







Now, I'm going to go wake up PC - which means I'm probably going to crawl back into bed and go back to sleep for an hour or so. Then, our modified schedule for the day is minor league hockey game outing with the scouts at 4, Girl's basketball game at 7 (if we get back in time). Have a wonderful Sunday everyone.

50 Ways to Ease the Chaos

Ok, ok, so it's not 50. It's not even 5...just one. If you've been following the posts the last few days, you've seen what total insanity my week has been and is going to continue to be. You've read about how this absolute lack of structure is making my poor Not-So-SmallBoy melt, how my Girl is so overextended that she's forgetting committments, how LargeBoy is, well, LargeBoy, but a stressed LargeBoy, and how PC & I are just pulling our hair out trying to make the schedule work and keep everyone happy.

Last night was a basketball game for Girl and a meeting for me. Thankfully, both were at school. The timing, of course overlapped and it seemed like there was no way on earth that we could pull all of this off effectively. As it turned out, I left work at 4 because I had to make the bank deposit. Despite the long line at the bank, I was still home before 4:45. PC had been cooking the most divine pot roast since 1:30. SmallBoy and I made my grandmother's dumplings (I'll have pics for you tomorrow). Girl went early to her basketball game with some friends because they wanted to watch all the games prior to hers. One problem solved - we didn't have to get her to the gym 1/2 hr before game time which happened to be in the middle of my meeting. I didn't have to be at school until 7, so we still had time to sit down and eat sort of as a family.

To further maximize our time, since Girl's game was at 8:00, PC drove me to the meeting and went to do some errands. SmallBoy stayed home with LargeBoy and did the post-dinner routine. After the meeting, I walked over to the gym hoping to be on time for tip-off and to meet PC. Things seemed to be going well and running about as well as could be expected. Yeah. You know what THAT means. At 8:00, the scheduled start time, the 7th grade game had just begun the 3rd quarter. Lovely. Our Girls finally tipped off at 8:40. They fought hard, kicked some butt in the 2nd half to come behind, but just didn't have the defense (nor the offensive boards) to pull this one off. Finally, after post-game conferences and clean up, we piled back into the car at 10:00.

When we arrived home, LargeBoy informed me that his brother had gone to bed on time. We were glad to hear that, but surpised, since we could see his bedroom light on through his window when we came in from the garage. I went up to kiss him goodnight, and he was still awake, waiting for me to tuck him in and perseverating on where his Christmas list could have gone (he has to have this to his Grandma Pooh-Bear - Ex's mom by Saturday). I assured him that it was somewhere in the house and that we'd find it the next day. He finally consented to let me leave the room after tons of hugs and squeezes and squishes. I tucked him back into his sensory tunnel (something I've gone back to for his sleep since his being "off track" returned), zipped his bed tent and went back downstairs. Ahhhhhh, finally time to relax with my husband.

We hung out for a while and then headed up to bed, shortly after 12:30. Morning came entirely too quickly and it came in just the same way that the day went out - chaotic. I woke 10minutes before my alarm to Girl trying to rouse the dog. She was afraid that the dog had beaten us to the punch and decided to "go" before we could take her in for the "last doggy walk." Finally, she got up, but our hearts were all racing. Morning routine went as usual, start doing hair, stop doing hair to go wake up LargeBoy, come back upstairs to start waking SmallBoy, finish hair, get dressed, make up at work....I was on track. Then the phone rang as I was down to crunch time. It was my drummer, who is unbelievably difficult to get ahold of, calling to discuss our gig this Saturday. Yep. Schedule thrown. Rush rush rush, SmallBoy wanted no part of getting up because he was cold and, despite the darkness outside, it was still too bright. LargeBoy was running behind because he overslept AND hadn't made his lunch yet. We were now, officially running late. I still, miraculously made it to work on time, however.

Girl has a basketball game tonight. I have cantor rehearsal tonight. Of course the times that everyone has to be where they need to be overlap. I had already asked Girl to get a ride to the game and told her we would meet her there. My rehearsal is once a month and, as we're entering the Christmas season, there are a whole slew of things that get added into the mass, so missing it would not be very beneficial. After this morning, however, I called PC and told him that something had to give and that I would not be going to the game tonight. I am going to stay home and spend some time with SmallBoy. We'll do some OT work with his body sock and his pilates ball and his weighted ball and I'll let LargeBoy hog the computer and figure out my iPod (hooray, it just arrived! - I'm still taking song suggestions, btw). PC totally agreed. Instead of sending Girl off to her game, though with no one to watch her fabulousness (cuz Ex never goes if it's not at the home gym), he's going to go and watch her while I stay with SmallBoy.

I had a mixed report from the teacher yesterday, but, considering his last week or two, it was better than I had expected. Kyra, you're hitting it right on the nose about just the craziness being enough to set him running for cover and decompression with no where to turn, and there's another messed up no structure kind of week right around the corner. We'll be starting the communication notebook at school next week and PC and I will be going in to school the first week of December to present SmallBoy's book to the other 4th grade class and the teachers are inviting the parents and staff to attend (I'm SO excited! Again, Marti - God Bless YOU and Child for that!).

So here I sit blogging - at work. This is the one place, lately, where I stay put for 8hrs. The most running I do is going to the salad bar next door to get lunch. Here I will stay and enjoy my calm before returning to the chaos. At least it seems like today, though, and last night - generally, there has been some easing of the insanity. Btw, I'm still taking workout song suggestions for my iPod. Thanks a million to the ones that have come in. Smoochies!

What a Wonderful Resource YOU Are!

I promised you a post on Parent-Teacher conferences. They were pretty much what I expected except that SmallBoy has had a much more difficult time holding it together. He's having angry outbursts in class, he's melting much more frequently and reacting poorly when someone asks him what's wrong. Academically, he's doing fine. I've been doing some work with him at home, work that we do at my job (a program I HIGHLY recommend for those with decoding and/or symbol imagery and/or comprehension weaknesses) and his last reading test was beautiful. It was mainly comprehension and he scored a 97%! I must be doing something right with that.

He's having difficulty, however, doing more than the absolute bare minimum of an assignment and becoming extremely agitated if asked to put in more effort. I know that when PC, Meem, Mom (GR) & I went to the conference with Dr. Baker, he had some suggestions on this, so I'll have to look at my notes. One example, when, PC and I first noticed his resistance to doing the whole assignment was when the class had to bring in an article from the newspaper about the mid-term elections, and talk about it to the class. He and I went through the paper and looked for something shorter and something with a bit of a different twist than what we thought the rest of the class might bring in. We found a short article about how, despite the new voting "technology", there were still entirely too many glitches. Obviously, an article written in the Chicago Tribune about an election is going to require some "translation," which I did. SmallBoy, however, took that as a substitute for reading the article. He did NOT wish to read it at all. It got so ugly that I, Ms Calm Cool & Collected, told him, "Fine. If you don't wish to read it, then you will have to take the consequences when Mrs. M asks you to explain it to the class."

So, anyway, we chatted about that at conferences and Mrs. M asked us for more ideas on how to help him out of a meltdown, how to help keep him focused, how to keep the outbursts at a minimum. These have really been reaching a peak over the last few weeks and we haven't noticed them, at home, anyway, until early last week. This morning I emailed the teachers. Oh - I forgot, the other 4th grade teacher asked PC & I if we can come in and present SmallBoy's Book to HER class (Marti...WOW!). We're SO excited. Here's what I wrote to the teachers:

Good Morning Ladies -

After speaking with you both at conferences on Thursday, we proceeded to SmallBoy's occupational therapy and spoke with his OT for suggestions. She suggested that perhaps a system of reward motivators that can be carried over to home so that his rewards stay consistent and come, ultimately, from my husband and myself. You could simply use a corner of the chalkboard and make a mark of some sort, without putting his name on it, or he could keep a card on his desk to keep track. That way, he's not receiving any extra special attention/rewards that the rest of the class is not. What he earns that day could be communicated home.

The system we use at home is a star system. The number of stars he receives is equivalent to the task he performs or the task & the lack of complaining. Additionally, he will receive stars for pulling himself out of a meltdown, if he does something without being asked, if he goes out of his way to help someone, if he demonstrates superb behavior, etc.

He uses these stars in exchange for video game/computer time with each star equivalent to 5 minutes.

To help make this system transfer from school to home, and vice versa, I've taken a cue from some fellow parents with children on the spectrum. They send a notebook back and forth to school each day to create a constant communication between the parents and the teacher. For example, if SmallBoy had a great day, but melted at one point over something, you could let me know. If he had a difficult time on his homework, or had a really rough morning, I could let you know. Even better, if he had a fantastic day, or was ready to melt over something and found a way to pull himself out.... We could also communicate about the stars he had earned that day.

Another suggestion his OT had was as far as keeping him focused or bringing his engine back down to a regulated level. What she has found works for him is giving him a sour candy. This works with homework, too. I expressed to her that candy in the classroom probably was not a huge possibility, but she mentioned to me how brilliant teachers are at subtlety and that simply walking past his desk and dropping a few near him (we would be happy to supply the stash), or if he could keep some in his desk and you could cue him when you notice he needs one, "SmallBoy, what can you use to bring your engine down?" or "SmallBoy, where's your engine right now?" (something like that).

After thinking more on what a hard time he's been having lately, we realized that our multiple schedules (Cub Scouts, OT, Girl's non-stop sports, meetings, work, etc...) have finally all collided creating many nights in a row when none of us are home together for any length of time. Additionally, our dog has been growing increasingly sicker and will, in all likelihood, be put down this week, on which he's been dwelling, plus, the "off" schedule of the last week has thrown him quite a bit. We were hoping that this week would be a bit calmer, since next week is going to be a shortened week for him, too, but it's even more crazy than the last few. We've made a visual calendar of just this week, though, so that he can see what activities are going on, and for whom, and on what days. I'm hopeful that will assist in his anxiety, especially now that the rest of us have a visual and can plan some quiet SmallBoy time accordingly.

Let me know what you think about these suggestions.

Ms. R - Looking at my schedule, I am unable to get away from the office until the first week of December, as my boss is out of town at a conference this week, and then on vacation for 2wks. However, if we can schedule the 6th or 7th of December. Also, I can check with my husband for his availability and perhaps he can come in and present sooner. As in Mrs. M's class, I know that SmallBoy would appreciate being a part of the presentation, so I would like to also coordinate with Mrs. M a time when we could "borrow" SmallBoy.

Thank you so much for taking the time to spend "learning" SmallBoy, and for working so closely with us. We appreciate the fact that he has such caring teachers, and a compassionate atmosphere in which to learn and grow. Again, let me know your opinions on the suggestions and if you have any others.

Sincerely,
MG & PC

I would LOVE any other brilliant ideas or suggestions that any of YOU may have. You see where I already swiped the Communication Notebook (why haven't I been doing that all along? DUH!). You, my blog family, have been such an incredible fountain of knowledge & wisdom, and one of the many things for which I am truly thankful!