Lots 'O Stuff

Thanks to all of you for sending your thoughts, prayers and vibes in this direction the last few days. My Gramp was a great man. I wish you could have known him.

I feel like I'm always trying to catch you guys up because I've been SO lax in keeping up. I AM, indeed, still alive. Thanks also for all of you who have been checking in on me. I've actually been quite busy. The blog would be entirely too long if I load up all of the pictures I want to show you of what I've been doing since I last wrote, but I'll see what I can do.

Let me bring you up to date on the SmallBoy. He's wonderful His father's still an ass, but you know, SmallBoy's all the better for it. Ex went so far that when I called him about my grandfather and told him I needed him to keep SmallBoy, too, in addition to Girl & Boy, for an overnight, he told me "ok," but, I found out later, he shipped SmallBoy off to his mother's house. I didn't find out until a week later! His OT is working miracles, as is the listening therapy that J has him doing. When he's home with us on weekends that Girl and Boy are gone, we've been making it a point to do special things just with him. One of the things we did was to bake. It is good for his muscle tone to be mixing, kneading, rolling, and good for his vision convergence to be learning to measure in a clear measuring cup. One evening, we made homemade biscuits (ok, with the help of Bisquick) and strawberry shortcakes. SmallBoy mixed and kneaded and rolled. He cut out the biscuits, he shaped the shortcake cakes. It was a delightful time. Then SmallBoy, PC, and I pigged out. we were happy happy happy.

Girl's softball is finally over, so she's off on vacation with her bestest friend and her "other" family, of course, we consider S our "other daughter," so I suppose that's all square. My dear friend K got a great new job. I miss seeing her face everyday, but she only lives two minutes from me so I can see her whenever I want, right G-girl? I'm really happy for her though. She got out of the hole!

LargeBoy is thoroughly enjoying summer vacation. I must say I've been very lenient on curfews, etc, but we have this understanding. I give him a curfew, he never complains, and he knows I will be up in front of the TV when he gets home. He's always on time. If something happens and he's not going to make it...get this..he CALLS, tells me where he is, who he's with, and exactly when he'll be home (for example, if another is driving them home and he's last on the drop off list). Every once in a while, I'll extend his curfew. He knows if he crosses me he's toast. It works out nicely.

The band....we just went "on the road". We had a concert in Michigan for the people who stay in the great little community where my husband has spent his last 30 summers. We played them the song that we wrote about Michigan and the road that leads us home to it. It truly is our home. I wish we could get there more often. Everyone who attended LOVED the song and it was so incredibly well received. The picture of the band playing was actually during that song. PC sings, and I do the harmony, so I had some time to go be silly and take a picture of the band ... sans moi, of course. The night, as exhausting as it was - most of us had worked half a day - was a huge success. We're hoping that, perhaps, this will increase our fan base, since 3/4 of the people who spend their summers in our Michigan community are from this area. We're also hoping that perhaps, we'll be able to play up there next year, in the park, for the big dinner they hold every year.

The band couldn't pass up the opportunity to stop for a band shot under the street sign for Blue Star Highway, the road for which our song is named, the road that is the welcome mat to our place, our home, our escape, our hideaway.

PC and I, after a small amount of bribery, begging, and pleading with Mom and Chica to feed the OCFs and the dog, stayed an extra day in Michigan and relaxed a little while before we came back home to reality. Saturday afternoon, after M & H, had left, we decided to take some pictures of the girls (PC's guitars) in some of the more scenic places in the park before heading out to dinner at our favorite pizza place, DiMaggio's. We hung out on the beach at the fire Saturday night and into the very very wee hours of the morning (I only stay up until the sunrises when I'm in Michigan - usually, I fall asleep much earlier than I'd like). Sunday morning, well, I suppose it was more like afternoon, we helped close up the cottage for the week, went to the beach, ordered a couple of pizzas for home from DiMaggio's, and hit the road. Even once we were home, and back into the land of chaos, we felt rested, relaxed, and felt the absence of the weight that was on our shoulders before we left on our adventure.

As fate would have it, my former MIL offered to take all three of the kids next weekend (even though it's my weekend) just because she wants to hang with them. So guess what PC and I are doing? Yep...back to Michigan. I'm more than willing to sit in a Friday Chicago rush hour to spend one more weekend up there. Lord knows if we'll be able to get there again this summer. PC and I have some songs to finish writing, and some sand to sink into, and we plan to do just that.

Tomorrow, Marti and her crew are going to be in town and we'll finally all get a chance to meet...a family reunion, seriously. Child and SmallBoy have been DYING to meet each other! I'm sure I'll have pictures! Perhaps we can teach them H-O-S-E Limbo time! Well, SmallBoy's waiting to be tucked in and PC & LargeBoy are waiting to start a movie..."Meow!" (can anyone guess?). I PROMISE I'll post again soon! Really, I promise!

Gregory Theodore Joseph

...that's how Gram used to call him whenever he was being, well, obnoxious, similar to the way parents use "the middle name" when their children are in trouble. Gregory Theodore Joseph Dryz, 9/14/15 - 6/22/06, father of 8, grandfather to 16, great grandfather to 18, was one of the most interesting men I ever met.

I thought he was the smartest man alive, maybe even smarter than God. He used these HUGE words in conversation with me, grandchild #5 ( I think), and WOW did that make me feel like I was smarter than the average bear - why? Because I was too floored by the enormity of the words, to realize that I was supposed to be puzzled by their meanings. I smiled and nodded and smiled some more. I'm drawing a blank on the words he used, but let's just say my grandfather could do the New York Times crossword puzzle, pretty much in one sitting. I swear he memorized the dictionary and was a personal friend of Roget and helped write the thesaurus with him.

<>Gramp could build and fix ANYTHING. He was always tinkering with something, always had some project on the workbench in the basement. He built beautiful dollhouses for my cousins, my sister, and me. The really neat thing was that they were mansions in our eyes. No one else was lucky enough to have a "Grampa Dollhouse", no way. He made those for us. For all we knew, he cut down the tree himself, whittled, carved, crafted, sanded, painted, and decorated each and every house with all of the love and care that he had.

Riding in the car with Grampa was always a treat. He had a "candy machine" in his car. Well, it was more like a tupperware that he kept stashed in the armrest, but he called it a candy machine, and dammit, we sure thought that's what it was. It was always full of Brach's anise candy - the little square red ones in red wrapper. If we weren't in the mood for anise, there were always a few butterscotch candies that he kept in there for Gram. I don't ever remember a time when the candy machine was empty. Gramp also had one of those bobbling compasses on his dash. It was many many years before I actually knew what it was and what purpose it served. I just thought it was a part of the car (especially since it would reappear in each new car). I would sit in the backseat listening to the music, WFMT, WBEZ, and watch the the letters change from E to N to W to S....and just thought it was something special Gramp's car did.

We always thought we were richer than anyone else - when we were riding in Gramp's car, that is. It was always a Lincoln...each new car was always a Lincoln (of course, the car dealer was his next door neighbor). The car was big and cushy, plenty of room, and to us, it was a limo and he was our driver.

I know that my grandfather worked, but as a child, if he wasn't at home, he was at church. My family helped to start the parish, sending a letter and petition to the archdiocese with 1000 signatures asking for a church, Gramp was a permanent fixture at St. Louise where he was an usher for - I think - 50+ years, head usher for 33. We always sat in one of the back pews when we went to church, I never understood why, I just thought we had the "special seats". Really, it was so because thoe were the pews reserved for the ushers, and so that we could all go to communion together after Gramp had finished sending each row before us. We got to stay "after church" and lock up. We got to see all of the "hiding places" in the church, the usher's closet, the broom closet - hey, when you're a kid that stuff's pretty neat. After mass, Gram & I would stand around and chat with all of the parishioners. She would tell them which granddaughter I was, and to which daughter ("This is Robbi's daugher") I belonged and I would be so proud...I felt like I was something extra special. My grandparents were both highly involved in the workings of their church, but right now, I'm totally drawing a blank, so I'll come back to that another day.

I remember sitting in Gramp's chair, when he wasn't in it, of course, holding the newspaper (which I couldn't read yet) and pretending to snore....yep, just like Gramp. The chair, which has sat at my mother's for a few years, used to seem enormous. Sitting in it, one would feel engulfed, wrapped up in it's warmth and comfort. It has been reupholstered many times. I can remember at least three shades of the chair, yellow, bright orange, and a burnt orange - with the bright orange, of course, being my favorite. It had a coordinating ottoman which could be adjusted to each person's comfort. Well, THAT was one of our favorite things to play with. We would turn it upside down and play with the metal bar, thinking that we were tinkering with something and creating something.

So many times we would get started talking to Gramp and it seemed like there was never going to be a way out of the conversation. He could talk forever about anything. I swear, the man had so much knowledge locked up in his head that he needed to share all of it with everyone before he left us....probably starting well before the grandchildren came to be. Boy, we'll all be missing those conversations. He knew everything there was to know about everything.

I have so much more to say, but my mind is running through everything that I have to get done in the next hour and half before trying to squeeze in a gig with the band before spending the day- and most of the evening - at the wake. Trying to get all of the kids clothes found (huge piece here), pressed, ready (including finding the shoes and socks!), practicing the music for the service tomorrow - yep, I'm singing just like I did for Gram's (if you think about it tomorrow around 9:30 CST, throw a little thought, vibe, or prayer my way so I make it through the music without bawling my eyes out -maybe I just won't put my contacts in so I can't see anyone)...ok, I'm babbling.

Gregory Theodore Joseph Dryz was a truly amazing man who touched SO many people. He lived a long and full life, raised 7 wise and wonderful daughters, buried a son, loved and cherished his wife for as long as she graced us, 62 years of marriage, buried her, and kept on for almost six more years before she finally called him..."Gregory Theodore Joseph, don't you think you've more than made sure those girls will be just fine without us there? Let's go. It's time."

Nothin' Like a Little Stress...

...to make you think of silly things to post...ok, at least silly pictures. This week has been full of stress: work, time, family, friends, money...you know, the usual. Work: My job totally kicked into high gear this week and it's absolutely crazy - it's a good kind of crazy, but stressful. Time: Well, who DOESN'T stress about time? Family: My 91 y/o grandfather, Grampa G (the "G" stands for "Great" so they don't have to call him Great Grampa) had a heart attack, has internal bleeding, a failed kidney, and lots of other yucky things, my li'l sis has been gone for too long, and it's only Thursday (she left on Monday), Ex still refuses to take SmallBoy and this weekend they are celebrating TheBaby's 1st Birthday (think he can still get infected from SmallBoy looking at him the wrong way?). Friends: Ever try to plan something that you think everyone has finally agreed upon, confirmed it, and then had one of them bite you in the ass about it? Yeah, I thought so. Money: The usual, but also part of the friends stress - no no no, nothing like loaning money to friends, hell, I don't have any to pay the bills, let alone loan out to friends, and the ever-popular not making NEAR enough money for what I do for a living.

BUT, we have silly things like this to help us remember who we are and where we come from. Things like this to remind us about what really matters. People like this to send those hugs, those smiles, those laughs that will, despite all of the above stress and all of the rest of it, make us, in turn, laugh, smile, and temporarily forget our troubles - or at least let them seem a little less troublesome. These are what make us exhale when the pile of stress seems higher than Mt. Everest, and the air around us seem thinner than that on Everest, making it feel like we are suffocating at every gasp we make for air. And with that exhalation, comes a feeling of relief, release, catharsis, happiness, perhaps even temporary insanity (the good kind). Goofiness, sometimes just downright stupid fun (sometimes even the kind we'd get in trouble for as children) can be just the treatment that we need when the diagnosis is stress, stress, and more stress, and the prognosis is bleak.

How could a picture of a father (ET) teaching his, barely 7 (going on 30) year old daughter, how to cook: brown, saute, garnish, make sauce...and not the way we'd think....being extra safe and making sure she stands far enough away so she doesn't get burned or cut, but with the respect she deserves as an eager little learner, constantly absorbing knowledge like a sponge.....How could THAT picture NOT cheer us up? This little girl has learned so much from her Daddy, because he treats her with respect. Absolutely, he makes sure she understands that he's the boss, but she has a lot of respect for others because of the respect he shows her. It's so apparent in this picture. And yes, it does make us happy. Sure wish SmallBoy's father showed him even the littlest respect of acknowledging his existence (except when it comes to $$$$ of course). Oh, that's making me stress again...I'd best insert the picture.

Tomorrow promises to be another stressful day. Girl has a softball tournament, SmallBoy has to face another weekend watching his brother and sister leave him behind, Gramp is still in the hospital, it's Friday at work (stressful in itself) and NOT payday, my friends are being a little unreasonable - ok a LOT unreasonable, and time - well, there's not enough, yet I'm running out of it today. On that note, here are some sillies to make you smile for Friday. Oh, and KH, I'll be kicking you in the WHATEVER if you don't take that job!

H-O-S-E Limbo Time, Father's Day, and Good Bye Li'l Sis

My littlest sister, KR, just left to go back home to Kentucky this morning :-( . She was in town visiting for a month, so my sister, Chica, and I kidnapped her for the weekend to get some quality sister time. She spent Friday night with Chica, so we went over on Saturday and hung out, grilled, and dealt with the heat. How? Just take a peek over at the pictures.

It was HOT. We stayed in the air conditioning as long as we could, but SmallBoy was starting to get some major cabin fever. He had gone outside to run around and play in the yard a few times, but it was just too hot. SmallBoy had asked us quite a few times to go out and play the game he had invented - hose limbo. We were ready, but didn't quite comprehend exactly what his plans were for the game. We pictured one person on one end of the hose, and another holding another section, while a third person did the limbo under the hose. SmallBoy's was quite a bit different.

His game set up only required one person holding the hose. That person had the incredibly fun task of squeezing the trigger on the hose and holding the stream, at a heavy spray, while the rest of us traveled under the water. My mom, GR, was the first "holder, and SmallBoy the first participant. He was easily declared the champion of H-O-S-E Limbo (yes, we made up a song by spelling out the word "H-O-S-E Limbo time,")...of course, we sort of adjusted the rules because none of us are really flexible enough to properly limbo. Look at how much fun we had!!!!! GR limbo-ed, too, but she'd probably ground me if I put her limbo pictures up, although, she did get great joy out of squirting me in the face on my turn. Girl was at a softball tourney, so she didn't get a chance to play, but there's always next time. After LargeBoy's turn, he did what most teenage boys would do on a hot day with a hose....he soaked us all. He and SmallBoy had the largest water battle - with SmallBoy as the target, but he managed to chase all of us, culminating in a battle royale with SmallBoy and GR. It was great fun.

That night, KR came home with us and got to experience our little world. We had some friends over to make music and generally have fun. We all sat out on the porch, talked, laughed, played music, and sang. I was worried at first that she would tire of this, but my worry was certainly not validated. She had a blast (hopefully, she doesn't think her old sis is too goofy, now). The next morning, we hung out, after sending Girl off to the last day of her tournament - back in the far away John Hughes movie suburb (this time to play another team from OUR town). We were heading over to Dad's for Father's Day, so we didn't want to eat too much - a holiday, or any gathering, with an Italian family means FOOD, and, "you're too skinny - eat more!" To prepare for this, we ate a very modest breakfast - tortilla chips...you know the really salty ones in the green bag, not one of the "ito's" brands, but a good Mexican brand.

We took our own sweet time getting ready and then headed off to feast. Sadly, heading to Dad's meant returning KR. She won't be in again until Christmas, so we made sure to spend as much time together as we could. Tons of food at Dad's, and then....the box of old pictures. Thank GOD that they're not digital and that I'm too technologically challenged to make my scanner do what everyone else knows how to do. It was a memorable day.

Ultimately, we had to leave. We still hadn't been over to see PC's dad yet, and the day was running away from us. We said our goodbyes and hugged and pouted. We plotted and planned and schemed. Hopefully we can find a way to get her back to Chicago some time soon. Planes, trains, automobiles...we'll make this work. It was SO nice to have had more than a few hours to spend together. It was wonderful to have my sister at my house, to see how weird her big sis is, to have the kids get to spend time with her, and for her to see how much fun we are. I hope we can do this again while it's still nice enough to go outside and have more, "H-O-S-E Limbo time!!!!" If not, we'll just have to have, "S-N-O-ball Flinging time!!!!!" I think between all of our homes, cars, and peoples, we can definitely find a way to do this again, even if it's just for a long weekend. Please, oh Please, oh Please, oh PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poor, Poor Neglected Girl

My Girl has been going non-stop since well before school ended. Sports, music, babysitting, movie-making for class, campaigning....Campaigning? Yes, yes. My Girl, the Planner of All Things Teenage & Social, ran for Student Council Activities Director for the '06-'07 school year. The other opponents knew they didn't have a rat's chance in a boa constrictor's cage at beating her, so they dropped out and she, fabulous Girl that she is, won unopposed. Of course, she still campaigned, made posters, gave her speech, passed out buttons - she worked HARD.

I am so very proud of her. I knew that she would win. It was just a big head slapping DUH. Ever since she was a LittleGirl she's always been the one to round up the troops, plan the activities, dole out the responsibilities, and ensure that EVERYONE had a great time. When plans involved one "group," she always made it a point to try and include the other "group," if possible. She's a very diplomatic leader - trying to please all of the people all of the time, but understanding that she'll probably satisfy MOST of the people MOST of the time.

Today, she's off to some ridiculous north John Hughes movie suburb - I believe the one where Home Alone was filmed - to begin a softball tournament. Game's at 3:30 or something like that, which puts endtime near 5 - I wouldn't want to have to drive home in a Chicago rush hour from a suburb that far north...no way, no how. Big thanks to her chauffeur this weekend (that would be whomever I paid enough to drive so I don't have to...teee heee).

Girl, I'm SO proud of you. And yes, I chose this picture because it's not one of the best (cuz those are just toooooooo good - wait til I post the hair dryer picture!!!!)

The Haircut Experience

In our quest to be "bad" while PC & LargeBoy were in Michigan, we did the haircut thing. When Ex was still admitting he had another son, he used to do the buzz cut thing on SmallBoy's hair. Surprisingly, the buzzer never freaked him out. Since that whole situation has changed, and shown no signs of improvement, SmallBoy's hair has gotten longer - MUCH longer. He has taken the shears to it once or twice and I made some pathetic attempts to clean it up. Well, it was time to venture to a pro this time.

I had geared him up for it, letting him know that it was up to him if he got a "handsome cut" (nice and layered and handsome), or a "cool cut" (the standard buzz which he is used to). I told him that this was a new place we were going, and on the way back from our dinner out the other night, showed him exactly where the shop was. He thought it looked cool enough and wasn't nervous or anxious at all. Still, you never can tell, and I had no idea what to expect from him once he got INTO the shop.

I had scheduled 3 simultaneous appointments so that none of us would have to wait too long for the others. Girl & I, since we have more hair and would take longer, went first, and the woman who would cut SmallBoy's hair was finishing up a perm on someone. He started out sitting in a chair about 5 feet from where I was, and then started spinning on the floor and doing his "moves", as he calls them. I knew he was either getting impatient or anxious - or even a bit of both. I told him he could come and stand by me as long as he stayed out of the stylist's way - which he did. Soon enough, L. called him to come and hop in the chair.

She asked him how he wanted his hair and he told her "a cooooool cut". I reminded him that sometimes people who aren't in the initial conversation don't know what our words translated to, so, he promptly explained to her that he wanted a buzz cut. I was very proud of him. Next, I waited for him to jump at the buzzers, cuz it had been a LONG time. Nope, totally cool. He sat still, she buzzed, they chatted. He talked to her about his siblings, his mom's band, what his summer plans were, video games (of course), his upcoming sleepover (he's having a friend over at OUR house!!! WOO-HOO!!!), and on and on and on. HE kept the conversation going - and that's just it - it was a CONVERSATION. He paused, let her respond, and then responded to her response! I was like, WOW - (ok, Dad, I was REALLY WOW! - tee hee).

She let him decide if he wanted it all really really short or just a tad longer on top, she let him decide if he wanted her to spike it up a little or leave it just like it was. I think the only time I ever saw any trait of "Aspieness" was when the hair would fall on his face or his neck. That bothered him a bit, total sensory stuff - BUT, he never freaked. He waited, carried on conversation, until she stopped to do something else, did the shake off, and kept on talking. He was amazing. Having the shortest hair, he, of course, was done first - a fact in which he relished. That was rather convenient, as it left the door open for a teaching moment - as to why he didn't go first, because his hair was the shortest and would take only a little bit of time to cut.

Of course, we had to keep up our badness. We walked over and relished in our Frozen Dairy Delicacies at the custard stand...Heh Heh Heh

Oh! We've Been BAD!!! (and a Father's Day tidbit)

I mentioned in yesterday's post (can you believe I've posted 2days in a row???) that PC, LargeBoy, ET & SIL were up at my in-law's summer home doing some maintenance work overnight. We can assume, of course, that they are also relaxing and finding some peace & harmony with nature while they're visiting. The kids and I, left behind because time off from my job in the summer comes very rarely (it is FORBIDDEN - but we're learning to work around it slowly), have had some time to do some real Mom, Girl & SmallBoy bonding. It's been nice. But we've been BAD. Oh, yes yes, we've been bad.

The guys left before the crack of dawn yesterday for Michigan, I went to work, and SmallBoy and Girl had a day to hang out and do their own stuff. There was no time for making dinner last night, since we had to be OT 15 minutes after I got home. Now, SmallBoy's OT is located right around the corner from a restaurant in town that makes some of the best hamburgers. Each and every time we leave OT, we can almost taste the grilling burgers as the smell floats through the air to tickle and tease and torment our olfactory senses! SmallBoy and I were hungry. I knew I didn't want to have to make dinner. Heh Heh Heh. I smell a plan in the works.

We went home, talked about what to have for dinner, fed the critters, looked in the fridge at the leftovers and decided that we'd wait for Girl to come home from softball practice to make any decisions. In my mind, I'd already decided, but wanted to feel the kids out first. SmallBoy and I grabbed our books and headed out to the porch to read until Girl arrived. She hadn't even made it up the front stairs when we both pounced on her about her ideas for dinner. Well, it didn't take long for us to decide to head back to this hamburger joint. Ok, so it's actually a nice sit-down restaurant, but you get the idea. I went to my wallet to see what it held (usually nothing), and lo and behold, I found a miracle $20 bill stuck to a receipt WAAAAAAAYYYYy in the back. SCORE!

So off we went, tummies grumbling and mouths drooling. The restaurant had a kids' menu, so SmallBoy got a cheeseburger, waffle fries, and an orange juice (he HATES carbonated drinks), I got the grown-up sized burger with provolone cheese (are you drooling yet), and Girl, well, she was sort-of controlling herself with a grilled chicken caesar salad. Girl and I were very careful to only eat half our our plates to not get overfull, and then swapped doggy bags. She already ate the rest of my burger and fries for her lunch, and I'm patiently waiting until my lunch hour to go and eat the rest of her salad....of course, we have ice cream in the freezer here, AND I caved this morning and got a chocolate and caramel muffin. Oops.

Tonight, we will behave and have leftover chicken tetrazzini. It's delicious, we just weren't in the mood for it last night (plus I'd had it for lunch yesterday). Then it's off to get haircuts (see, for us, THIS is splurging and being bad), and father's day gifts. No clue what to get my dad, we've got a real good idea for PC, but here's the kicker: for some reason, SmallBoy feels the need, the urge, the pull (not the obligation) to get something for his father. Yep, the man who has turned his back on him and only remembers he exists when his family has a party. I told him not to worry, that New Wife, I'm certain would take care of getting a gift for them. Ex never once took the kids shopping for Mother's day, Christmas, or my birthday, just expected them to have gifts appear out of thin air because God forbid he spend HIS money on me (even for the kids). For years, I always made certain the kids had a gift for their father. Last year New Wife took over that responsibility. One of the few good things she's done. But I am baffled about SmallBoy's need to make sure he has a gift for his father....I bet it's the Asperger's thing .... the "rules" say that you have a gift...ya think? It certainly isn't loyalty or love, or even respect. Hmm.... Guess we'll never know.

Oh, and to add to the badness tonight, I think we might stop at the local custard stand if we have time to kill between shopping and haircuts...oh yes...very very bad!

School's Out For Summer!!!!

And so far, so good! SmallBoy had a rough transition OUT of school, total lack of organization at school due to cleaning out, field trips to the park, assemblies, mass scheduled in, etc....He knew the end of school was drawing near and was already anxious about the lack of organization that comes with summer. He was having to take more time outs at school and would get angered more easily at incorrect answers, etc, much faster - BUT he also was able to tell me about them, tell me about what he did to calm down, tell me how long his time outs lasted, and tell me what he would do to keep that particular thing from happening again. WOW!!!

School ended at 10am on Thursday and by Friday, he was lost. We sat down Friday afternoon and made up a pseudo-schedule for the weekend, stressing which things we knew for certain would happen and when, and which things were still uncertain. That helped tremendously, even if it was just for the weekend, to give him a sense of structure and temporary organization. I've decided that for summer, I'm going to try to give him a schedule of {time} - not necessarily, what he should do during that time - but some suggestions, but more of a block type of schedule - 10-12, outside time (ride your bike, trampoline, roller blade, etc).

Yesterday I gave him two chores in his room: put away the clean laundry in his basket, and then refill it with the dirty clothes that were decorating his floor. I knew, however, that if I put these tasks to him in the form of jobs or chores, that I would be asking for opposition. Instead, I made them into a game. I told him that I had a great game for him to play, but that he would need to use his laundry basket for it, therefore, it needed to be emptied (granted there were only 5 or 6 things IN the basket...). The game - Laundry Basketball, simple in concept, I'm sure that without any explanation, you can visualize exactly what I mean. For SmallBoy, I explained that he would have to grab a piece of dirty laundry off the floor and shoot at the laundry basket from wherever he found the piece of laundry. He was allowed two shots- if he made it in on the first shot, he scored 5pts, the second shot was worth 3pts. If he missed both times and had to walk it into the basket, he scored 1pt. I left him a sheet of paper where he could keep score. I was excited when I talked to PC in the morning and he told me that SmallBoy had gotten up in the morning, taken his allergy medicine (without prompting), ate breakfast (without prompting), AND did his chores WITHOUT PROMPTING - and was excited about it!

I wasn't quite so organized for today, since I crashed out on the living room chair for a good two hours and then all night, heavy ZZZzzzzzz's (I've been quite exhausted - more than usual lately). I talked to Girl this morning, since she is with SmallBoy today to see if we couldn't work out something between she and I, that would keep him organized and not strictly on the computer or outside or in front of a movie all day, but would shorten that into smaller blocks, which would include a chore. She said she would come up with something and let me know. She's very good at these kinds of things!

PC, LargeBoy, ET, & SIL are up in Michigan for the next day or two doing some maintenance work on my in-law's cottage, so SmallBoy, Girl, and I are home alone - we'll have some good bonding time. Tonight starts our summer OT schedule, so I think maybe SmallBoy and I will be bad and stop for ice cream (before dinner - EGADS!) on the way home. Perhaps we'll be really really bad and order Pizza for dinner - I'm not real good at making dinner in a pinch, especially not a healthy one - I'd much prefer to spend hours on a weekend preparing a big yummo meal, but since tonight's a special night without the big guys, I think we'll be bad. Tomorrow, hopefully, haircuts....so much for stucture when I'm playing it all by ear like this, huh?

Orienteering

The last Cub Scout meeting was yesterday afternoon, finishing up an incredibly busy busy weekend. Girl had a softball tournament all weekend and had to be at the field at 7:00am both Saturday and Sunday - the field was an hour away, so imagine when we had to leave - the upside being that there was hardly any traffic. After we were finally settling into our Sunday afternoon, we remembered the Scout meeting. Exhausted, we set out. The troop went back to a forest preserve that we had met at earlier in the year when it was much colder. At that meeting, the boys became familiar with a map compass and how to read it, use the directional degree markings, and took a nice long hike. This meeting was marking the end of the year, so our Scoutmaster, Mr. G, promised the boys a hot dog grill-out if they all passed their orienteering "test" and then did one last hike for the season before going home for the summer to their video game systems. The boys were more than ready to comply and showed up with their compasses, packs, waterbottles, pencils, and orienteering skills sharpened. SmallBoy had done pretty well last time when this skill was taught, and I was hoping that the Aspie in him would remember everything. In this picture, the boys were testing their memories of the instructions as Mr. G would give them a degree reading on the compass and tell the boys to find that location and then go to it. SmallBoy did pretty well - he found his mark, but because there was a tree in that spot (where he was supposed to go), he went around the tree and continued on that course until he could go no further - see, this is the "literal" thing about Asperger's in action. We reeled him in and carried on with the meeting.

After working on the flat ground, Mr. G. took the boys up to the top of the hill and gave them two pictures with particular landmarks (the Sears Tower, a local hospital, a radio tower, and a water tower) of which they had to find the correct degree reading (called shooting an azimuth) - this was their test. He gave them a five degree margin of error because not everyone was staning in the same exact spot. I never asked SmallBoy if he needed help because I didn't want him to think that I might have thought he couldn't do it, plus, I wanted him to do it all by himself. I was fully prepared, though, for a meltdown if his answers were not within that margin of error - or worse, not exactly what Mr. G had. He took his own sweet time, and, while the others asked for help, he was determined to do it himself. He had every answer correct - most of them were exact, and one was within two degrees. He was one very happy SmallBoy - and we, PC & I, were very proud of him - because, well, we knew he could do it.

After each boy had successfully passed the test - as if any of them wouldn't have - we walked down the other side of the hill and proceed to take a nice hike through the forest preserve. A couple of the boys, SmallBoy included, heard the call of nature and went in search of the perfect tree while the rest of us waited. Mr. G took this opportunity, after the boys had rejoined us, to teach the group about how to detect poison oak, ivy, and sumac. Of course, from that point on through the end of the hike, the most popular question was, "Mr. G., is THIS poison ivy?" Thankfully that subject got changed when we found some animal tracks and they all speculated as to the animal the prints came from - AND when we were walking along the river and the boys saw trees down and limbs in the river and asked, because it was fun to say the word without getting in trouble, "Is that a dam?" We saw some more deer, which was surprising, because we were not exactly being quiet. The really great thing about seeing the deer is that the grown-ups were just as much in awe as the boys were. There's just something about seeing a wild animal up close....

After our hike, the boys ran immediately to the broken water pump, convinced they could get water from it, gave up and then went to the field and played baseball while Mr. G got the camping stove up and running and the hot dogs a-boilin'. I was a bit worried about what was going to happen when it was SmallBoy's turn at bat, gross motor skills are NOT his finest skill, and the boys were playing pitch ball. He played T-ball until last year, but this year he would have had to move up to pitch ball and this town is SO baseball crazy that if you're not "good", it's not really a pretty picture. I thought it best to wait until a sport that he would full successful at came into season. Nonetheless, his first time at bat was kind of ugly. Whiff, Whiff, Whiff, Whiff...then he got a little piece of the ball and fouled it backwards. SmallBoy ran, the boys protested foul ball, SmallBoy argued, "hey, I hit the ball." It wasn't pretty, but they all solved it themselves and none of us had to go in and intervene. His next at bat, he nailed it - hit a double. The diamond, such as it was, had a very off-kilter design: 5ft to first base, 6ft to second, 3ft to third and 4ft to home...it was very cute. I was very very proud of my SmallBoy.

It was after 7:00 by the time we finally piled into the car. Though he was experiencing a major case of the Sunday night blues, as were the grown-ups, you can tell by his face that he had just ended this beautiful weekend on a great note and was happy as a clam. I LOVE YOU SMALLBOY.

One Final Contest Note

The paper came out today covering the final round of the vocal competition. I was dreading it. It wasn't too bad, actually, it made me quite teary-eyed. Thanks, again, to everyone who came out...this is for you:

From today's Wednesday Journal article by John Rice:

"No one received more vocal support from the audience than MommyGuilt with her legions of fan screaming 'Tina,' MG took third place with her hand clapping version of 'Son of A Preacher Man."

Melting in the Midwest

HOLY Mother of Pearl!!!!!!!!!! Yes, it was HOT this weekend - uncomfortable, hard to breathe thick air, bad hair (gee, thanks Humidity), just being dressed makes you want to pass out, oh please let's go grocery shopping just so I can stand in the freezer section for a while, too hot to cook inside and too hot to stand over a grill outside, I love you truly but don't touch me cuz I'm all sticky and sweaty....getting my drift? UGH it was AAAWWWWWFUL! I don't have my window AC units in yet because, well, this is Chicago - it could snow tomorrow.

My longhaired Obnoxiously Cute Furball (OCF) was absolutely miserable. She is the younger and, usually much more energized of my two cats. She will pounce without provocation on Charley (OCF #1), do laps up and down the stairs, over the bed...you know, cat stuff. For the last three days, she hasn't moved except to voice her extreme discontent. I mean, her discomfort is like a human standing outside at high noon in the middle of the desert while wearing a full length fur coat - accessorized, of course with a fur hat, mukluks, fur lined gloves, and the biggest warmest scarf. Suffice it to say she was one pissed off kitty. She wouldn't touch her food, wouldn't play, wouldn't even move to a cooler spot unless we put her there ourselves. She was NOT amused. The only place she was even slightly content was on the cool tile of the first floor bathroom floor.

We were all miserable, cranky, and tired. It's amazing what a little heat and humidity can do to a person. By far, though, SmallBoy suffered the most. What I find interesting about the sensory issues that go along with his Asperger's is that he can absolutely tolerate the cold in the winter, we have to convince him sometimes to wear a coat; in the summer and the heat, TOTALLY different story. He feels it 100x more than any of us do. He can't focus at all, he gets irritated much faster, the overload comes on almost instantaneously. He becomes more tired than we do, but knowing that he "shouldn't" feel like that gets him worked up and he refuses to sucumb to that and just snooze for a bit. He was bored on Saturday, or maybe it was Sunday and asked to go to the park. It was scorching, so I tried to persuade him with other things - I even went so far as to offer him video game time (which he turned down...woo hoo!!!). So, off to the park we went. We had a riot. He ran up and down the sled hill, all over the soccer field, played on the equipment until he had had enough of the sun (about 20mins) and we went home. I suppose I was more than okay with that, not so much because of the heat, but because he had me crawling through the equipment, playing chase with the camera. He took that one of me.

This morning, back to school, was rough. The kids had Friday off also, so he had to readjust after a four day weekend. Yeah, that's a pain in the butt to begin with, but his was a long, busy, and sticky hot weekend. I woke him up at 6:45, like I always do. I woke him up at 6:50, like I always do. Usually he's up and getting dressed by then and is ready to give me a kiss by the time I leave at 7:10. Not today, but that's not usually anything to panic about. I woke him at 6:55, 7:00, 7:05, 7:07, 7:09, and on my way out the door. Nope. I talked to PC this morning and SmallBoy wanted nothing to do with waking up until 7:55 - 5 minutes before the bell rings at school. Needless to say, he was totally panicked and set his day down the wrong path. He seemed to be handling things a bit better this afternoon, and, by about 7:30, the temperature had dropped almost 20degrees. I'd bet it's in the upper 60's right now, low 70's. We just had a storm blow through, and the breeze is fantastic. He's tucked up in bed now. His new favorite way to sleep is in his sensory tunnel. I'll get a pic and post it for you next time.

Tonight, it has cooled. We walked into Girl's recital at 6:15, and in less than 45 minutes breathe again. The house is open and the breeze is the same refreshing feeling that comes with diving into an ice cold pool on a reallllllly hot day. The tensions, real or heat-induced, have all but vanished and it seems, once again like a nice calm end of May evening. The storms have passed, but with the weather conditions going back and forth, who knows what may spring up tomorrow. I think I'll take what I can get for now and be thankful for this welcome respite. I think I'll take advantage of this perfect sleeping weather and do just that....sleep.

And The Winner Is........

Not me. I placed third. Fortunately, the 2nd & 1st place winners were absolutely phenomenal and deserving of their awards. The contest was a huge exercise in trust, in stress management, and in learning lessons.

I went into last night with a poor choice of song for my vocals (had I had the Aretha Franklin version of the backing track to Son of A Preacher Man, I would have been able to breathe some more life into it, but alas - no time for what ifs), lack of preparedness (hell, I work full time and have a family to tend), and a big ol' hole where my confidence used to be, especially because I knew going into the evening that I was screwed on the song and that there was nothing I could do but give it everything I had (which by 6:00 yesterday, wasn't much). I came out devastated (oh you should have seen me - the oldest contest in ANY category bawling like one of the little kids), I came out feeling old, I came out feeling not good enough. I knew that my performance was just...UGH...I know that none of that is an issue, but I just really wanted to be mad and upset for a while. I'd like to blame the judging, but it wasn't that - my performance last night was SOOOOOOOO not worth first place, and it would have been terribly unfair to the other deserving contestants if I had won based on my previous performances and not this one (cuz they were REALLLLLY good).

My woes, sadness, and tears were all given a big reality check this morning when my boss called to see how I had done. I told her that I had come in third, and she told me that she was really proud of me, and she genuinely meant it. I've heard this same line from my family and friends too; the difference being, my boss was on her way for chemotherapy for a God-awful cancer that's tearing her apart. Talk about putting things into perspective. Yes, I may be 36 - very late in life as far as the music biz is concerned, I have a family that needs me - a little difficult to pick them all up and keep them on the road on a tour, and I have the rest of my life ahead of me. Yeah, the next few days will be tough, smiling, and telling everyone that I came in third, having my whole town, parish, and colleagues read in the paper that I didn't win as expected (even by the woman who was the head of the studio running the contest). I'll get by. I'll live another day. I'll stand with my head held high and the support and love of my family and friends. I'll go find another contest that will be more money so I can donate to Cure Autism Now and The Alzheimer's Association and my children's college fund. I'll go play with my band tomorrow night and rock the house. Life goes on.

Lots of hugs, loves and thank yous to my family and my friends who came out for me, who voted for me to get me as far as I did. PC & Girl - thank YOU for making me do this, for making me get past the fear and to just suck it up an do it. Thank you to PC, Girl, Large & SmallBoys for dealing with my freak outs, my unbelievable stress over song choices, wardrobe choices and MY meltdowns - I love you so much, I can't even put it into words. Mama - thank you for Gram, thank you for your love, your support, your push, your pep talks, your hugs. Dad - thank you for your song choice, for getting KR, for being there every single time, for your love and support and pep talks. Meem & Poppy - thanks for being there for me, for the love, for letting me be a big baby last night, for PC and all of the things you've given him to help him be such a wonderful man, for ET and raising him to be such a great guy to let me cry on his shoulder, to give me his famous pep talks. K & J - for, you know, WHATEVER! Snood, my other "daughter", thanks to you for coming to the rounds, voting for Pedro, cheering me up, and keeping me going. For YOU - my blogging buddies, thank you SO much for your support, your good vibes, your song suggestions, your comments - this stress is over, so I should have some more time to return to writing.

PC, my Love - thank you. Typed, it holds no feeling, but you know absolutely how much is there. SmallBoy - thank you for being SO incredibly patient and for your unending supply of hugs and for all of your "GO MOM!" yells. LargeBoy - thanks for your HUGE support, for your love, for your technological help, and for having so much faith in me. Girl - as you're heading off to camp this weekend, take my gratitude, my love with you. Thank you for being a cheerleader for me and for keeping PC sane after listening to all of my endless rants and freak outs. I know that I'm not saying nearly enough to all of you, but thank you most of all for believing in me and for your love.

NEXT!?!?!?!?!?!!?

A Two-fer

My older two children seem to finally be awakening to SmallBoy. I posted for you LargeBoy's paper on an "Aspergian Utopia", which he wrote for class after reading Curious Incident. Girl had a chance to do some extra credit for her English class (she didn't want "just an A"), so she decided to write a paper on Asperger's. She did the research - seriously, I have my own little library collected - and edited as much as she could to make it easy for her classmates to understand without putting in TOO much information. The second part of her paper talked about SmallBoy. I want to share that with you. She told me not to cry - and I didn't till the end.

My brother SmallBoy has Asperger’s Syndrome. Being his sibling can sometimes be easy and can sometimes be hard. It is hard to deal with him when he goes into a fit about the littlest things going wrong, especially when it is in school, or when I have to babysit him. It is also hard when I have to comfort him, and just do not know what to say.

Even though there are things that my brother does that are hard to handle, he also has some great qualities to him. My brother is one of the most intelligent people I have ever met. He can name all the EL stops down to the city, before we even get on the train. He can remember all the turns and streets we take to a certain person’s house.

Things to do to help people with Asperger’s are making routines and schedules, and sitting down and taking the time to explain things slowly to them so they understand. My brother needs to have the same routine every morning and every night, or else he gets upset. If there is a change made, you cannot just throw it at him, you have to tell him before hand. At times I have to explain even the smallest things to my brother over and over again so he can understand what I’m trying to tell him.

There is nothing wrong with having Asperger’s Syndrome or being Autistic. Some Autistic children can function exactly the same way that children who aren’t Autistic do. They can still go to school, they can still get a good job, and they can still play sports. I will admit, that yes, at times my brother can be a handful because of the Asperger’s, but he can also be the same annoying little brother everybody else has. I still have the same treatment of having to wrestle him to the ground or beat him up when he takes something of mine, or him tattling on me for doing something wrong. We still make fun of each other and call each other names. But we also have those great sibling times when we play games together, or when I give him advice on all the different teachers at school.

My brother has very unique characterisics to him. Some may say he’s weird. Some may say he’s a “cry baby” or that he has a weird imagination. But he is my brother and I admire him for everything that he has gone through and will still have to go through later on in life. I know that he is going to face many hard challenges later on, and I know that people will not know how to treat him the way he needs to be treated. Even though my brother is smaller than I am, I will always look up to him for being a strong, tough kid, and being a great example for all other Autistic children.

Isn't she amazing? Ok, ok, so now I have to share, a little egotistically, the blurb from the article in this week's local paper. I'll just share with you the part about ME (cuz, you know it IS all about ME....LOL), but if you want to see the entire article (no pics of me, of course), click HERE.

Web Posted 5/23/2006 10:00:00 PM
By JOHN RICE
Article :

FitzGerald's Main Stage will be the site when the "Danza Viva & Wednesday Journal Talent Search 2006" reaches its dramatic conclusion, as 12 performers in four categories face off in the finals. But the audience will not just be treated to great amateur performances. Danza Viva's One World Dance Theater will also take the stage. There's a cover charge of $10 per adult, $5 for children and the dancing and singing will kick off at 7 p.m.

"Talent Search 2006" began more than a month ago at FitzGerald's Side Bar. That night, contestants were hoping they'd survive the elimination rounds to return to the Berwyn nightclub. Only three made it in each of the four categories-Youth Dance, Youth Vocals, Adult Dance and Adult Vocals.

Among the survivors in Adult Vocals this past weekend was MommyGuilt. At 36, the Oak Park resident is also the oldest performer in the contest. When she's not working her day job, MG sings with her band Code West with husband PC on lead guitar. When MG performed in the semi-finals at La Piazza's jazz club, Sotto, PC made the mistake of leaving his seat. The club was so packed he found himself standing the rest of the afternoon.

MG thrilled the Sotto audience with her bluesy voice on "The Chokin' Kind," a song selected by her father. "The crowd was insane," MG said, "and the venue was wonderful." The judges thought MG was wonderful, citing her "confidence and conviction." They loved how MG made the song her own.

Singing solo is quite a bit different for MG than fronting a band. "There's a sense of urgency," she said. "You really have to bring it. There's more leeway with a band; you don't have to showcase your voice."

During auditions, MG showcased her voice on "The Star Spangled Banner," a song she had also done at U.S. Cellular Field. Later, at Slaton's Supper Club, she raised the room temperature with "At Last," an Etta James number. "It was quite an experience," MG said. "Nothing compares to it. Not even the White Sox game." She wasn't just excited by the crowd's reaction, she was happy that the black dress she wore cost only $5.

MG has been singing the blues since she soloed on "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do" in fourth grade. Although singing is a hobby, she'd like to make a career out of it. As for the contest, "I could use the money, but I'm in it for fun."

So the last paragraph is a little..um...well, wrong....I sang "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do" when I was, like 4 or something, and it was into a microphone my parents had to record into their 8-track player (somewhere I have that tape and have to get it converted). In the fourth grade, I did my first solo, but it was a Christmas song which I performed in my yellow robe, slippers, and stuffed Mickey Mouse. If you look at the article itself, the writer only used my first name once - the rest of the time I was always called by my last name - much to the delight of my dear friends K & J Whatever. Also, I did say I could use the money, but I'm in it for the exposure - hell, I ain't getting any younger! Win or lose tomorrow night, I can't wait for this to be over. I need to sleep!

HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life has been crazy lately and I've had NO time to write, though I've thought about it. I've been totally focused on the kids and their activities, oh, yeah, and this vocal competition (I found out yesterday I made it to the finals!!!!! This Thursday night at Fitzgerald's in Berwyn - 7:00pm, $10cover for adults, $5 for kids under 12. COME ON OUT if you're around!) I thought I'd try and recap and catch everyone up on the boys, the girl, and...well, I just caught you up on me. I've tried to take lots of photos to keep you posted. Some, unfortunately, are still in my camera, but I'll get to those later. These are the ones I REALLY want you to see. LargeBoy - yes, he gets to be first. He finally got a haircut! Woo hoo! He was hoping for a simple trim and to keep the length - cuz, you know, he's in high school now. He came home and hid from the camera for days, until I managed to sneak this candid photo of him playing guitar at a family party. We gave him grief, though, when he came home from getting it cut. With the shape of his face and the way he had his hair combed, he looked like Jim Carey's character in Dumb & Dumber.

Girl, in all her softball glory, played her butt off this weekend. She had a tournament Friday night, Sat & Sun. She missed Friday night's game for "the last dance" of the school year, and then was out at the tournament - about 45mins away - by 8:00 Sat morning. They played 4 games ( I think), and we finally made it there for the last game. We won in three extra innings. The games were set for a one hour-15minute time limit. We were tied at 7:00 (regulation), so we had to use international tie-breaker rules - batting team gets one runner and one out. We held them , and they, us, for the first extra inning. They brought in two runs in the next inning, so did we . They had to turn the lights on at the ball field, as it was closing in on 8:00. Thankfully, we held them, and then we scored! WOO HOO! What did winning that game do for our girls? Secured the 8:00am time slot for the next morning - add to that the required hour early arrival. Yep, these poor girls- out in the sun playing softball ALL day, then having to be back by 7:00am the next morning. And Girl wasn't done, we still had a family party to attend. The pic behind the plate is obvious, but in the other, she's playing short. I consider these "action shots" for her for softball....

SmallBoy.....HE had an incredibly busy and WAY overstimulated, and over scheduled weekend. Friday night, we all just hung out and had some friends over to play music. SmallBoy LOVED that. He got to stay up a little later, listen to music, play. He was happy. Saturday, he snoozed until probably 9:30 or so - and for SmallBoy, that's LATE on a weekend. After he got up, he listened to his discs for his listening therapy, hung out, watched some tv, and then he and PC got to work on their next Cub Scout project - the Raingutter regata. Similar to the Pinewood Derby, this is a race, only it involves racing a "sailboat" powered only by the boy's air down a length of gutter. The boys can either blow directly on the sail, or through a straw, but the use of hands is a big no-no. The boats are very light weight and only allowed to be sanded - no cutting. I'll have more pics for my next post - those are the ones still in the camera.

After finishing the boat, we headed out for Girl's softball game - the first part of our afternoon/evening. SmallBoy went and hung out, cheered for his sister, climbed trees (isn't that just THE best pic?), and had TONS of fun - until we went into extra innings. I had mistakenly told him the game would be over by 7:00 (silly me - extra innings are always a possibility), so we had to work on an exercise geared towards "being flexible". He was hungry, it was starting to drizzle, and he wanted to get to the party. Eventually we got there, and he ran around with Princess and the other kids, toasted marshmallows, played hide & seek, and was so NOT ready to leave when it was time to go home. He hid. We freaked, but all was well. Home and off to bed. Sunday, boat race, mom's competition. LONG DAY. It was well past lunchtime when we got done with the race and left directly for the competition. We knew it was an Italian place, so we figured that even if the menu was not kid-friendly, we could still manage a plate of pasta - nope. Thankfully, PC was able to get them to pour us milk for him - he hates pop, the carbonation makes his sensory issues scream. He was hungry, it was crowded, it was unorganized, it was loud, he couldn't sit with me. Poor guy. PC, my love, my saving grace, let SmallBoy wrestle with him for most of the competition - pile drivers, wrestling, dogpiles, steamrollers...SmallBoy was in heaven. That PC of mine - he's awesome.

And my poor poor baby goo-wah (baby girl, in Girl speak, when she wants to be a wittoow goowah). She fell asleep at the family party. Sitting in front of the bonfire, with PC's jacket under her head, she wouldn't leave the party spot. We offered her a room inside, but she wanted to hang with us. Poor sleepy Girl - and she was up at 5:00am the next morning. Oh yes - they went all the way out there, got up super dooper early to be at the tourney by 7, lost, and were home by 10. It was a blessing in disguise, though, because she and I were both disappointed that she would have to miss my competition. Her loss got her to my win. Since it was Girl and PC who convinced me to enter (threatened to enter me if I didn't do so myself), it was very important to me that she was there. Love you Sweet Pea!

So, enough about me...how are all of YOU?

Mother's Day 2006

Happy Mother's Day!!!!! I am certain we'll all be busy doting on our children and OUR mothers to be posting tomorrow, so I thought I'd post today. Every mother deserves a big standing ovation (at the very least) for doing the most difficult, yet most rewarding job in the world. We receive no monetary payments for our job, our only chance for advancement is to "grandmother", but the love, caring, happiness, joy, satisfaction, and mommy-moments we are given in return are the best payment in the world - especially when they come in the form of, "Mommy, I love you."

Many of you moms out there have help in the form of a second parent, many do not, and are doing BOTH jobs. I salute ALL OF YOU. I have done both and both demand just as much from us. Phenomenal Women - yes, that's exactly what I call each of you.

I am so happy that PC has such a hard time holding on to gifts until it is time to give them. If he could hold out, then I wouldn't have gotten this beautiful bracelet - from Meem - until Sunday, instead, I got it Thursday! I am so excited to now have my very own autism awareness bracelt, made by A Ray of Hope, Autism Awareness Jewelry. Please check out the site, you'll love it! It was a wonderful gift and, of course, I cried. I think what really got me, though, was that SmallBoy knew - sort of - what it was. Meem, fabulous MIL that she is, had remembered that way back in November I had put an awareness bracelet on my birthday wish list, but it was just that - a wish list. What a truly meaningful gift this was and I am so happy. I will wear it always. I urge all fo you to please go and check out the site. The more aware we make people, the more that can be done AND the less ignorance there will be about autism. Oh, SmallBoy took the picture for me. He did a great job. He is so very proud that his mommy has this bracelet - and he knows that it is for HIM. Love him to pieces.

I wanted to delve into the listening therapy I spoke about the other day. Listening therapy looks like this. Headphones, a portable CD player (ours has a little waist pack so SmallBoy can be "hands-free"), and whatever else your child wants to do. SmallBoy listens in the morning before he gets out of bed and again, in the afternoon or evening doing whatever he wants. Sometimes he'll just hang out on the sofa and listen, sometimes he'll hop on the computer, other times, he'll listen while he's doing his homework. We changed discs on Monday at our last OT session. This time, J gave us a Mozart disc to help with modulation. I LOVE this one...of course, I love Mozart. SmallBoy, on the other hand, isn't too keen on it, which is surprising, because our musical tastes are very similar. Perhaps it is in the placement of the frequencies. On the last disc, the frequencies were very obvious, and on this disc, they're very subtle - placed in trills, violins, flutes, etc. I never had to remind him to listen to his music when we had the first disc, but this one takes a little prodding. We go back to OT on Monday. I'm curious as to what J will have to say about SmallBoy's lack of interest towards this disc. It doesn't seem to be having an adverse effect on him, though. I am noticing the same calmness, connection, etc, that I saw with the last disc. I am very eager to see the results of the whole program.

My mama and me! I'm sorry Mama - I know you'll hate the pic, but I would be remiss if I didn't post a pic of the two of us and our "better sides" tee hee tee hee...This pic was taken at the vocal competition last weekend. My Mama has always been there for me - whenever I've needed her. She has held my hand, she has cheered my on, she taught me how to walk - again - after life brought me down to a crawl. She has been my bodyguard and my safety, my cheerleader, my conscience, sometimes, even, my devil's advocate. I am truly lucky, blessed, and every other word under the sun to be my mother's daughter.

Meem - I have NO pics of you and me :-( . I must make it a point to get some! Not only do I have a wonderful mother, but I have the great fortune of having an incredible mother-in-law. Wow - that doesn't happen to many people (and, Mom, PC says the same of you). A good mother-in-law is hard to find, but one who is so loving, giving, selfless, generous, compassionate, and supportive is a treasure. I couldn't have been luckier!

My loves - my Mother's Day. I love them so much and cannot get over the joy they bring into my life. They have taught me so many lessons. One would think it is the parent who is the teacher, but truly, it is the children. They have taught me strength, discipline, how to love deeper than I ever thought possible. They have taught me defensive and offensive strategies. They have taught me generosity, humility. They have taught me how to live. My loves, how much do I love you? More than any little......

To all of YOU - mothers AND dads -I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day this year.

Formal Invitation for YOU

WOW!!!! I never thought I would get this far! If you've been following the Wednesday Journal articles starting with the May 10th article or the wonderful emails from my loving husband, then you are aware of this vocal contest in which I am competing (at the urging of my family - who, by the way, threatened to enter me if I wouldn't enter myself).

The final elimination rounds were held this past weekend, ours in a very fan-packed Slaton's Supper Club (so packed, in fact, the police had to come and stop the contest until a better seating arrangement was, well, arranged). I competed with 12 other fantastic vocalists, and, with the exception of one contestant, I was the only one well over the age of 16.

To a very crowded room, and with the judges sitting less than 2feet away, I performed, "At Last," by Etta James. I was exhilirated when, in mid-song, I realized that even I had stopped breathing in amazement at what was happening. According to my adoring husband, and my family and friends, the whole room stopped breathing. Even with the hoots, hollers, hoorays, the standing "O", and the wonderful comments from the judges, I still was not convinced that my performance would advance me to the semi-finals.

I finally exhaled yesterday when the call came in confirming my inclusion among the 6 contestants selected from 13 to move on to the semi-final round. From this round only 3 will be chosen to move on to the finals. I will be competing with a phenomenal group of singers, including the young man who won the "Chicago Idol" contest. They are all incredible.

75% of our scoring comes from the panel of judges - all of whom are very talented and successful in their fields of performance. The other 25% comes from YOU!!!!!! My friends and family, I need your support. Your votes count! "How can I vote," you ask? The contest rules state that all those who attend the competition can vote for their favorite 3 performers. I would greatly appreciate your support and your votes.

The next competition is Sunday, May 21 4:00 in the jazz club at La Piazza, 410 Circle Ave in Forest Park (they are having a special $8 Tango-tini's). If you can be there, I would love to see your face and have your support. I would urge you to get there EARLY, as it WILL be crowded. The doors open at 3. You will be my favorite aunt, friend, choir director, cousin, sister, father, brother-in-law, blogger, etc...if you come!

#300!!!!! HOLY COW!!!

OH MY GOD! This is my 300th post! I'd like to go on and ruminate about all of the posts, the people, the comments, the ideas, the love, the "family", but we do that all that time. Instead, I'll answer the most common question about the previous post:

What's with the SmallBoy and the bottles?

Every year, the music teacher does a project with the class wherein they have to invent a certain type of instrument. In the past, they've been instruments you pluck, instruments you make vibrate. This time around, they were charged with the task of creating an aerophone - an instrument through which the sound is created by blowing into it (air passing through it). We opted for a panpipes kind of instrument, with a little variance. We had a few bottles with nothing worth saving (or drinking) in the bottom, so we washed them, peeled the labels, stuck them together with duct tape, and filled each one to a different level...we actually managed to get the two larger ones in tune with each other. In the picture, he was showing off his completed project - decorated with dandelions, glitter glue, and a "few" stickers. We haven't gotten the feedback from the teacher yet, but WE sure thought it was cool!

The next most asked question in the last post's comments was about the listening therapy. The label on the disc case says "Vital Listening". SmallBoy has OT tonight, so I'll see if I can find out anymore info or get a website for you. It's really been a wonderful thing for him. We will be switching to a new disc today, and I'm curious to see the family's different reactions to it again - particularly Smallboy's, of course. Update: I talked to J, the OT extraordinaire, tonight about the music. We use the Vital Links Therapeutic Listening Program. There are different CDs for dysregulation, disconnection, modulation, spatial awareness, and after that, there is a basic core program. Click here to go to the Vital Links site. There is also another program in which the protocol is laid out called The Listening Program - I don't have

Hmmm, let's see...oh yes, contest....Etta James, apparently was a showstopper - that's what PC, my mother, my father, and my friends tell me. I don't want to tempt fate, so I'll wait and see if the phone call comes in the next few days, then I'll tell you how I felt about it. I'll keep you posted. I really really will need song ideas, though, so ANYTHING you think would be able to top that song and come in under 3 1/2 minutes would be most helpful. Smackwater Jack I would LOVE to do, and we do it with the band, except they put this caveat on us - it has to be "appropriate for family enjoyment"...RUDE (no, just kidding - I don't think the part about what happens after Jack goes shopping would go over well with the judges).

Almost time to go home and start my rushing around - what would life be without 12 places to be after work? My desk is covered in paperwork and resumes, so I'd best clean up before PC arrives to pick me up. Oh I hope he has SmallBoy with him! I will post again tonight or tomorrow about the listening therapy!

One Sport, Two Therapies

Ahhhh......life is somewhat "normal" again - if you can call it that. Things have been beyond crazy and stressful lately, so much so, that I haven't had time, or the urge to write - (UGH! That's so sad). Most of my stressors seemed to have temporarily leveled off for a bit thanks to some help from family and some HUGE miracles (98% family). Additionally, Girl is down to ONLY ONE SPORT!!!!!!! HOORAY!!!!! Volleyball is officially over and it's just softball now. I was hoping to have some pictures for you from this past weekend, but her tournament got rained out - 45 degrees and 7 hours of rain are NOT conducive for softball.

SmallBoy is truly starting to make some noticeable progress. I am noticing it and I see him everyday. Know how when you don't see someone for a long time, it's quite obvious if things have changed? Like a baby growing - you don't notice the gradual changes of your own child because you see him every day, but others will notice from one visit to the next. Same thing with this and SmallBoy. The growth, the strides, the maturity, the improvements that I have begun to see in him are absolutely astounding. He is using manners, he is not melting as much, he gets it when I tell him WHY something is not the way he likes it or in HIS grand scheme. Part, I'm certain has to do with the fact that WE are working as a unit, a complete unit. Ex, well, he doesn't even come to OT for his fleeting 20minutes anymore. When SmallBoy goes to visit for his alloted few hours, it's similar to a child tagging along with Mom and Dad to visit one of their friends. The rest of his successes I credit to his OT & his therapist.

J, his OT, has started, in addition to the physical aspects of his OT sessions, a listening therapy that he does at home. He listens to this funky music through headphones - one speaker has the melody playing softly, faintly almost, while the other speaker has these varying frequencies running through it. He listens 30mins/day 2x/day. The disc he is working with now is to help him with his disconnection. As SOON as he began listening for the first time at J's office, the change in him was apparent. His breathing slowed and he became calm and relaxed. He wasn't in meldtdown mode, or even high energy mode, but just a little extra energy. The effect of this musica was instantaneous. PC listened to it also and it had the same impact on him. Personally, I couldn't stand the music. There were frequencies that just made me think of going to the dentist and did the complete opposite for me - there was no relaxation. What mattered, though, and what is truly important are SmallBoy's reactions. WOW - that's all I've got to say, WOW! His behavioral thrapist has us working very short social stories with him to help explain the rules at dad's house vs the rules at mom's - how even though they may SEEM different, they are, ultimately, the same. These are still in the drafting stages, but look to be promising.

In his English Lit class, LargeBoy(REALLLY old pic, he'll HATE this one, he still has braces in this pic) just finished reading Curious Incident. LargeBoy was surprised and, at the same time comforted, to find out that there are many others - just within his class - who have Aspie sibs. Can you imagine what he'll do when he realizes the numbers of students in the entire high school with Aspie Sibs? For the paper on the book, the class had to write about an "Aspergian Utopia". He, of course, used his brother as his model. I felt compelled to share this with you. As a mother and a grammar geek, it was difficult for me to not edit, but I left it for content.

Utopia

People with Aspergers Syndrome are tough to deal with. They need certain thing in the right order and they act as if it would be the end of the world if they went near something that they don’t like. But it is not their fault. I know this because my little brother has Aspergers Syndrome. He can get upset just by taking a different way to school in the morning. But there are things that make him really happy also.

My brother gets angry very easily. When our living room was painted red, he got mad and said he didn’t like it. My mom then said to him “It will eventually grow on you”. My brother then thought that the paint would grow on his skin and he freaked out. But my mom has my brother do a number of things to make him settle down. And I think this would be his own little Utopia. It would be large and open, probably staying the same color. He would be the all-seeing ruler, where anything that was about to change had to be aproved by him first. People that are mean and don’t have much of an imagination probably couldn’t come in, or people who would try and hurt andyone. But one of the main atractions would be video games.

My brother loves video games. Unless you pull him away, he probably won’t leave. And if he’s not playing video games, he’ll be watching a movie. But not just once, he’ll watch it three or four times and catch and memorize every little thing. Ocassionally he might read a book or two, but he’ll probably stick with the games and movies. But one thing I know he would have would be a room with a giant trampoline. Jumping is like a sport to my brother. He has his own little mini trampoline in the back yard for him to jump on if he is to excited or needs to settle down a bit. This gets him tired and more relaxed.

My brother would only let select people in to his Utopia. He would probably let his entire family in, his closest friends, and lots of animals. But my brother would also have a button or something. This button would be used to bassicaly send every one out of the Utopia at any time. He might do this for fun, if he just wants to be alone, or if he is mad at someone in the Utopia. He would also have his music playing. The music that he would play is almost as bad and evil as hell itself but he likes it. It is Kidz Bop. He (like every other kid) loves this music because it is sung by other kids. My brother would also have main food supply come from the Ramen Noodle Company. My brother eats at least two packages of Ramen Noodles a week.

This is what I think my brothers Utopia would be like. I don’t know that this is 100% right because it is all in his head not mine. But since I have lived with him for the past nine and a half years, I have a pretty good idea.

As for me (and PC), we're exhaling again. I'm feeling a lot more relaxed and he's right there holding my hand, as always (Thanks, My Love). This weekend is round two of the vocal contest. I will be singing "At Last", by Etta James. From this group of 13, we will be narrowed down to 6 for the semi-finals...EEEEEEKKKKK. If I make it though that round, I'm going to need some help finding another song...one that will out-do Etta AND be under 3 1/2 minutes (so if you've got some suggestions, you know how to hit the comment button - or send me an email). Oh, and the pic.....I realized I hadn't posted one from the band's gig at Fitzgerald's last week (or week & 1/2 ago), so here ya go! (Just for the record, my 13y/o daughter scolded me for going out of the house "dressed like THAT!!!")