A Little Sickly Selfishness

Still sick. Yep. It stinks. Feeling better than last week, I can breathe through my nose, I can hear, and my sinuses have stopped hurting. My chest, however, feels like it's been hit with a ton of bricks and then run over by a mack truck. My colds ALWAYS follow this progression, head first, then chest. I suppose it could be worse and I could get nailed with both at the same time, but I like bitching & complaining when I'm sick.

When I'm sick, I'm a very big baby. I need to be taken care of, snuggled until I fall asleep, catered to, and have PC stay up with me in the middle of the night when I'm totally miserable. He does, too. There seems to be a secret signal or trigger or something in my house, though, that goes off when I'm sick. I like to call it the Mom's-sick-and-trying-to-steal-some-much-needed-rest-so-WE-must-get-sick-or-injured signal. It never fails. I have never been sick or injured by myself. Right now we'll dwell on the sick part.

SmallBoy and I have been miserable for the last week. When SmallBoy gets sick, though, it's a BAD thing. He has cold-induced asthma, so I am at his side with his inhaler constantly when he's sick. Middle of the night or even bedtime itself is awful. It scares the crap out of me. I stay awake either with him, taking care of him, or listening for him. IF I'm lucky, I can get maybe an hour of sleep before I have to get up and try to drag myself to work - assuming I don't need to take a sick day for my child (which, in turn, does ME no good, because I'm still taking care of him...he'd rather lie on the sofa and watch movies and be catered to - like his mama - than to nap so that I can nap too).

If PC gets sick, I wake up and take care of him, too. Not because he asks me to or wants me to, but because I'm a mom. It's a maternal thing. I take care of people when they're sick. PC tells me to go back to sleep, I need my rest. Well, that mommy thing in me keeps me up, too.

Just once, ONE TIME is all I ask, JUST ONCE, I'd like to be sick by myself. Is that asking to much? I want to have time to rest and get over being sick without having to take care of anyone else. PC is wonderful and will step in and take care of whomever else is under the weather, but I can't fight the mommyguilt of staying in bed while someone else is miserable. I just can't. So, until I learn to conquer that, I WANNA BE SICK ALL BY MYSELF.

DAMMIT!