Uh....OH MY GOD...Prepare for PANIC!

OH MY GOD!!!!!! Have you SEEN my list? CRIKEY! Whatever shall I do? Call in sick for the rest of the week? No, too much to do at work. OH! I know...I'll cancel all of our evening obligations this week - haircuts, basketball, work on reading with SmallBoy, driving with LargeBoy to prep for on-road driving test (GOD HELP ME!), work on reading with SmallBoy, basketball, OT, figure out if Ex is taking them at all for the weekend or just on Christmas Day proper, work on reading with SmallBoy, scouts, basketball, work on reading with SmallBoy, basketball, basketball, gig with the band. Nope, too much to do with that too. I see that my only solution to this problem is not just calling in sick - that will only delay the inevitable. I must call in DEAD. Somehow, though, I don't forsee having a problem pulling that off. I'm not sure how I'm actually even conscious right now. Must be that ethical part of me that won't allow me to sleep on the job even though there is no one here but me and I can count on less than two hands how many times the phone has rung today.

Tonight - haircuts basketball sleep. I will not stop in between. I'm on a mission. I haven't slept well, I've been snapping at the kids and at PC. My to do list is made and organized into what I need to do in the next - OH MY GOD- 6 days:

SHOP FOR:
Mom
Dad
BMD
KR
Chica
Cousin in grab bag
random adult in grab bag
1 more thing for LargeBoy
ET
something else for Princess
stocking stuffers
posterboard - MUST GET TONIGHT

Can anyone do this FOR me? I haven't anytime unless I don't see any of you for Christmas and just plain old shop on the holiday.

I feel yucky, oh so yucky. I feel yuck, and ucky, and bleh.
Eyes are burning, stomach's churning. I don't want to do much else but sleep.

Ok, I better stop there before someone hurts me.

Update: Really, this IS yesterday's post, but I was a good girl last night and went to bed as soon as we got home from basketball - without even stopping by MommyGuilt first. We got the haircuts, we got the posterboard, we even managed to get the gift for the cousin in the grab bag! (Walgreen's is a beautiful thing - no, the haircuts came from the shop across from my office).

Girl's game was a heartbreaker, but they played one of their archrivals - and they're equally as good as we are. Let's just say that for MOST of the game, it was all defense, until the other team's offense kicked it into high gear and the refs started calling jump balls instead of fouling out the other team's leading scorer (though we drove to the hoop and drew foul after foul after foul on her - she should have been fouled out at the beginning of the 4th quarter had the refs been calling).

So that's where we are. I still feel yucky, but today it's not the burning eyes and the yucky stomach so much as a sore throat. Better heed my mother's advice and take my vitamins!

My Day Off

Today, in honor of Veteran's Day, my company - the one that is open on July 4th, but closed for every other holiday - was closed and I got to enjoy a day off with my family. Needless to say, my internal clock is all messed up thinking it's Saturday night. This morning, I woke up at 7:00, took a walk across the upstairs hall to the bathroom, went in to kiss SmallBoy and he, through his sleep, said to me, "Mom...there's no school or work today. Go back to bed," which I promptly did. And I stayed there until after 10....didn't fall back to sleep, but stayed in bed. Like this cute little pic from last weekend of SmallBoy & Princess?



PC & ET got moving and took LargeBoy out driving this morning before the weather turned yucky. LargeBoy got the experience of going from 60mph to 20mph in a few block span. He realized what a pain in the ass that is. As a reward, they took him to Nick's Burger's in Lemont for the best damn 1lb burgers on the planet (yes, 1 POUND). He ate ALL of his and was eyeballing what they were bringing home for me. No, I didn't go. I thought that having "guy time" was probably a much calmer driving environment for the LargeBoy, not too mention that, well, it was "guy time."

Snood had stayed over last night after she and Girl had worked at Parent Teacher Conferences (oh yes, I'll be posting on that too). This morning, Girl's birthday/confirmation money was burning a hole in her pocket, so she & Snood went shopping. That left SmallBoy and me. COOOOOOOOOOOOL! His birthday wishlist to the family contained basic stuff from the fitness aisle at Target or Wal-Mart that he could use for "home OT." He got some stuff, but got cash and gift cards from most everyone else. I told him that this money was not for video games, but to be used to buy him OT things. SmallBoy and I bundled up and headed to Target.

I knew, walking in, that this excursion could be a good experience or a nightmare, and I think that by taking that with me and being prepared for anything, it helped to keep me on my toes, yet calm and ready for whatever might happen. As any parent of ANY child can tell you, taking them to the store to shop for something other than toys can just be...Oh..GOd...well, you know. Add into this equation a child on the spectrum. Heh heh heh...yeah, we know what we're looking at before we even leave the house. So, yes, I was prepared for anything. Our luck started early when we managed to get "rockstar parking" - at Target - on a HOLIDAY! Would this streak continue?

I knew that our list included a weighted ball, so we opted for a cart that I let SmallBoy drive (I wish I'd have thought to have brought my camera). We also had new gym shoes on our list, so he decided we should go there first to make sure that we didn't spend all of our gift money before getting shoes. I taught him about stopping at the end of the aisles, just like crossing the street, before proceeding through the store. He did great! We found shoes. No arguments, no meltdowns. So far, so good. On we went to the fitness aisle, with SmallBoy at the "wheel."

We loaded up our cart with an 8lb weighted ball (with handles - good for Mommy to use, too), a Pilates ball like we use at OT, something else that I'm totally flaking on, and then I let him pick out something for himself for holding it together. We looked at a body length SpongeBob pillow that would be great for squishes, a couple of bean bag chairs, and a bed tent. After MUCH consideration and hemming and hawing, he opted for the bed tent...not exactly sensory oriented, but something that helps him feel like he has his own space into which he can retreat. And THEN, because he was SO spectacular and pulled himself out of a couple of meltdowns during the hemming & hawing, I let him get a game. He chose dominoes.

When we got home, LargeBoy & the big guys were still out driving and girl was still out shopping with Snood. It was still just Mom & SmallBoy. I thought briefly about hopping on the computer before the rest of the family came home and hogged it, but when I thought about the fact that I was going to post about my day off, I realized that it was only 1:00 and there wasn't quite a lot to talk about yet- except SmallBoy's incredible composure at Target. Instead, he and I went upstairs and assembled his bed tent (ooooh, ANOTHER post idea!). Now that it's done, it's totally cool. We inflated the pilates ball and attempted to work in RDI and OT into this one activity, although, I suppose the structure of our morning together was pretty RDI based. For the ball, we took turns with the foot pump. I decided that it was worth it to take a REALLY long time to inflate this ball and keep his focus on the activity without him getting bored. Yes, I did say we took turns. He did 20pumps on each foot, I did 20pumps on each foot. Yes, it took a REALLY long time, but we got it done and "stayed with me" the entire time. He's sitting on it now watching tv.

It was a couple hours later, though, that the mask finally fell off and the Not-So-SmallBoy finally crumbled. He was, initially, struggling with the "time flies when you're having fun" concept which led to a much deeper conversation. The sadness and dissatisfaction with himself surfaced. The question of, "why do I have to be like this," came up. I held back my tears, as I have grown acustomed to doing, and gave him some answer about how God made each of us different from every one else for a reason. I told him that he was made who he was and I was made who I am because that's what God wanted. Of course, this required my going into detail. I told him that he was given the gift of asperger's and I was given the gift of being his mother so that we could learn about it and help not only him, but OTHER families. I told him how many people have already learned SO much more just by the two of us blogging, by his book, about how now his book has gone to international and is enroute to Scotland (thanks again Marti & Child!) This helped, but it wasn't convincing him of anything. This really was breaking my heart. We have these conversations every once in a while, but not often enough that I worry about how the asperger's might be bringing on depression. Of course, that's why we have a psychologist, to help us with these things. Eventually, though, I talked to him about how he makes ME feel...I told him he makes me a better person, a stronger person, a smarter person, a more caring and compassionate person, and so on. I think that helped. The conversation ended after an hour with him teaching me how to do a Pokemon card battle.

After that hour, I was in dire need of a calming beverage and a hot bath. PC & ET were getting dinner started, so I started the hot water in the deep clawfoot tub, came down and poured myself a very generous glass of white wine, went back up and sank, Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman style, right down into my tub (although I had no bubbles). I washed my hair and conditioned, according to Marti's beauty tips, shaved blindly (I didn't have my eyes in, and wearing glasses in a hot tub is asking for trouble). By the time I had made it back downstairs, I had calmed down, simmered down, and brought my engine WAY down, and it was eat time. They all had chicken, mashed potatoes speckled with a mean-ass habanero sauce, and green beans cooked in onions. We all noticed the heat in the potatoes upon our first bites, yet no one said anything, lest we plant that in SmallBoy's mind. HE never noticed. It wasn't until about a paragraph ago that we asked ET what he had put in the potatoes.

SmallBoy's engine is down now, and he's waiting for his turn to enter the dominoes match. I'm writing, accompanied by the requisite glass of wine, and we're taking turns grossing out the children by mentioning that we "did the deed" this morning. It's really funny how much it makes them crazy. I mean, yes, think about YOUR parents doing it. Makes you cringe and let out a big EEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWW, doesn't it? I used to try to convince myself that I was adopted so that I'd never have to imagine MY parents having sex...I mean, GROSS...EEEUUUWWW! Girl is doing the old Eddie Murphy "La La LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I'm not hearing you," trick. Needless to say, this is the running joke of the evening. SNat is coming over in a bit and we're settling in to our Saturday night - no, correction FRIDAY NIGHT!!!!!!

Somebody comment and remind me to post tomorrow. I might get too relaxed!

Creamed Corn

I had this beautifully moving and extremely cathartic post going last night which, of course, I was just writing and writing and writing, moved by a song that brings me to tears every single time I hear it, when my mouse froze, my screen went dark, and another screen - a blue one this time, popped up and told me that my computer was about to start to auto-dump its contents. Well, LargeBoy streamed into the room, unplugged, yanked the battery and stopped that process from happening - THANK GOD! Unfortunately, though, I hadn't thought to save the post as a draft while I was composing through the tear drops (ok, streams). Yup. How 'bout that for a big ol' dose of Post-Be-Gone. I'll post that post another time, it's sad, but sweet. So instead of yesterday being a two-post day, it was just the one. Today, however, I'm going to post about something funny.

Word of the day - Creamed Corn. My niece, Princess, despises creamed corn. To her, it is the AntiChrist. For me, it is a happy comfort food memory, I ate it all the time with my grandparents. My grandfather always thought it funny to challenge us to eat it with a fork (where's the fun in that?). Princess would rather bleed from her eyeballs than to look at, breathe near, hear or utter the words "creamed corn". This, in our family, means large quantities of ribbing and an endless supply of jokes and pranks that could, very likely, carry over through the holidays in many very evil ways. Yes, we are evil when it comes to practical jokes, we all have very wicked senses of humor. Mainly we focus on each other, but every once in a while, one of the kids gets brought into the loop - because, well, it's his or her turn in the rotation, as we like to say.

ET plays this game with her, taken from the esteemed Pee Wee's Playhouse (long before that meant a dark movie theater). He'll establish a word of the day and every time one of them uses it, the do something goofy. The favorite word, so far, has been "armpit", which is usually said while smothering the other in said armpit (UGH). Now, I'm not certain as to how creamed corn came up, probably while ET was planning a meal, but Princess voiced her complete and total disgust at the idea. She was quite insistent that creamed corn was gross, sickening, and Blehechkbluhr (how does one spell the sound of wretching?), and went streaking from the room letting out a scream. You have to know our Princess to know that the scream is almost always accompanied by hysterical laughter, rolled eyeballs, and some other comic facial expression, completed by the wild waving of the arms over the head. As she ran, she left the door to PrankLand wide open.

ET's first prank was to buy a multitude of cans of creamed corn and line the cupboard shelves with them, hiding the rest of the contents. He called Princess into the room, casually, and asked her about what they should make for their meal together. You can imagine the shock when she opened the cupboard to all of the cans staring at her, taunting her. Again with the screaming out of the room, followed by the maniacal laughter of her father. From then on, the more common "armpit" word of the day, frequently was replaced with "creamed corn," evoking similar responses. Keep in mind, of course, this is all in good fun, and Princess plays along with us (perhaps humoring US).

Last week, and over the weekend, ET spent quite a bit of time at our house helping us with the many many Herculean tasks that needed to be completed in order to host the giganto family party. As he retold the creamed corn story, flashes of light appeared, on a regular basis, over PC's an my heads, and then again over ET's. We decided that, indeed, we would drag this out until Christmas. The only catch is that we have to let it die down enough that she begins to forget about it...and then bring it up again before it's a "been there/done that" kind of a thing. Ideas, ideas, ideas: for the Thanksgiving feast, let everyone else be served whatever the vegetable dish may be....give her creamed corn (we'll all eat it when she won't, don't worry, no waste involved), stuffing of her stocking with creamed corn, complete with a note from Santa saying that he understood her deep affection for this delicious dish and wanted to make sure she had a nice supply of it, wrapping her Christmas gift from PC & me in a smaller package, but then giving her a nice big heavy box all wrapped beautifully, with a big red bow - only for her to discover when she opens it, that it's ....yep, you guessed it...creamed corn!

Oh yes, you're right. We certainly are awful, but the fun thing about Princess is that she'll TOTALLY play along, and quietly plot and plan about how to retaliate. All of this, and she's only "7, duh!" Yes, yes, we're grooming her well. Heh heh heh heh.....

A Little Too Close for Comfort

As I'm sitting and relaxing with my family, after a long few days of cleaning and cooking for the pentultimate family event, it just dawned on me that it was 10:55pm and that I hadn't posted today. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! It was a LONG day, filled with church, family, food, and squirrels...Lord had I the time to tell you everything, but I don't, so I'll just give you snippets.

The long day really started over the when we embarked on the project of getting the house "ready" for the party on Friday. I've felt like shit for about 4 or 5 days, so I haven't been assisting much in the preparatinon stage of the event...granted, I planned, invited, made lists, assigned foods, etc..., but the actual physical cleaning and getting ready, I've sat on my ass. I still can't reach the top of my inhale. I'm still convinced that its part cold and part anxiety over my finances.

Today, though, we had the big giganto party. The Expando-Family was invited starting at 2pm. This party was not just for my children, but any one on my side of the family with a birthday in the last quarter of the year...and in my family, every quarter is FULL of birthdays! But wait...there's more! PC, ET, & I stayed up very late last night. We were ripping up carpet, cleaning, and preparing food. Just as we were getting ready to present our boarding passes for our seats on the slumber flight, we were all rudely awakened from our bliss by a Princess displaying the international sign for choking. Thank God for her fast acting and quick thinking, and amazingly calm father. He realized that she was choking (on a large Lemon Head) and gave her the Heimlich maneuver as soon as he figured out what was going on. Needless to say, we were all on a bit of an adrenaline high after that. There was no way we could go to bed at that point, especially after being scared out of our wits! Thankfully, our sweet little girl was ok and I made it a point to offer up thanks at church this morning that I don't normally offer up.

Speaking of church, it was SmallBoy's first time singing with the youth choir. I can't begin to explain to you the pride, but all of you, I'm certain, know what I'm talking about. But to be watching your ASD child, completely apart from you, in an environment where he is forced to hold it together, where he MUST follow the music and the director and the format for the mass...it was truly incredible. I had to fight to keep the tears from rolling down my face. Yes, I was extremely proud, just like any other parent there, but unlike any of the other parents, I had an additional element of "WOW", as well as pride. He did SO great!

Came home, had lots of family over, lots of food, we're all ready to explode, had a wonderful time. Girl & SmallBoy are in bed, LargeBoy is in the shower, PC & ET are on the couch "watching" TV and I'm here....

Oh..........Yes, you want to know about the squirrel! Well...now THIS is a funny one. In the middle of the party, the phone rang and it was my FIL, he hadn't been able to attend the party, so we just thought he was calling to check in. Turns out, he was calling to tell us that there was a squirrel loose in the house, running around, knocking over precious glasses, lamps, etc....HOLY ACORNS, BATMAN! PC, ET, and I thought that perhaps, if FIL really wanted the squirrel to give up that he should corner it and give it a lecture of his choosing. Then again, we also created, in our imaginations, the picture of my FIL giving up the chase and being reclined on the sofa watching the game while Mr. Squirrel sat on HIS big comfy leather chair. Teee Heee....

Well kids, I've got a few more good posts up my sleeves for this week, but the alarm will be going off entirely too soon in the morning. I'd best get my boys situated and to bed. Nighty Night!

Preparing for Halloweenies!

Halloween is only a few days off and Girl has no costume, and we JUST picked out SmallBoy's. We drove all over creation and out to BFE for pumpkins. This year's crop was nasty. I don't know if it was just here in Illinois or across the country, but there was some nasty fungus that attacked the pumpkin crop. It was extremely difficult to find one, let alone three, that were not smushy or moldy or "hol-e-y", but we did it! Here they are!


Princess & the Not-So-SmallBoy digging out the pumpkin guts! Such fun. I'm not sure if Princess was posing, blocking the shot, or trying to show us her totally gooped up hands and forearm!


Ah...Girl & Snood, they're very rarely apart, she's like my second daughter. I think, in this picture, they were attempting to reattach Jack's eyeball with a couple of toothpicks. It was a group effort. A lot of blood and elbow grease went into this pumpkin, as Girl broke one of the tiny little carving knives that come with the pumpkin kit AND one of my steak knives!


And speaking of knives......Would you believe we actually took this one twice because he didn't look crazed enough the first time? Gotta love the LargeBoy. I really enjoy that he hasn't outgrown the fun of these kinds of holidays. He will not go out trick-or-treating (he had a bad experience a few years ago), but is more than happy to be the door guy - on the porch with all the creepy decorations, scaring the bigger kids and having fun. He LOVES to decorate, LOVES to do pumpkins...do you see the Jim Carrey in him? Oh I do!


And last, but not least, PC's pumpkin - carved and aglow with the tealight. This seemingly simple stencil design took him forever. I'm amazed at the amount of patience my lovely husband has. He had fun, we had fun and all of our pumpkins will be on display tomorrow night. Hopefully I'll be able to get a really good picture.

Oh, and Mom, I'm not doing seeds this year, but thanks for the recipe. I'll hang on to it til next year!

Remind me, in my next post, to tell you about the earthshattering event that happened this weekend. Oh, screw it, I'll tell you now. It was a weekend for the kids to be at Ex's. PC and I were attending the auction for Girl & SmallBoy's school, so I told Ex that I would need Girl to come home Saturday night and babysit. In return I would make sure she got to her softball practice on Sunday while the rest of them attended a family party. Well shut my mouth when all of a sudden, he calls back, talks to Girl and says that he'll keep SmallBoy overnight!

Now now, don't get excited, I'm certain it's not the beginning of any major breakthroughs or anything. I guess they were planning on attending a Halloween event at the zoo, so he just decided it would be "easier" on him if plans were done that way. However, I will usually hear from Girl & LargeBoy if there was any unpleasantness during the stay at their father's house. Nada. Nothing. Not even a hint of meltdown or anything....of course, I'm not pressing for information, either. But hey, it could be nothing, it could be something. Probably nothing, though. Thought I'd share.

Alright all...take lots of pictures tomorrow. I want to see! Personally, I will be wearing my pajamas to work with my fuzzy slippers. One of my absolute favorites! Perhaps ponytails too!