SHAMELESS SHAMELESS Band Campaigning

Hi Guys! I know I've not really been around, but I've been busy doing band stuff, SmallBoy stuff, work stuff, and well, life stuff. Head on over to my NEW CHICAGO PARENT blog for the latest on SmallBoy at the Bulls game - I'll post it here sooner or later, but if you want to read it sooner, pop over there!

In the meantime, I need to do some shameless campaigning for our band. One of our fans thought we were pretty good and entered us into a contest to be New Country Star's Favorite New Country Artist/Band! You can listen to a bit of our song, "Pick the Tune," written by our bass player, Peter, and if you love it, you can vote for our band once every hour through the month of march.

There is a great deal of phenomenal talent in this contest in all categories, Female Vocalist, Male Vocalist and Band/Duo. Click on the link above or on any of the pics below (or even of the pic of PC & me on the sidebar) and vote. A lot. Here's the band!

CHRISTINA

MIKE

SCOTT

PETER

JOE

I've Been Meaning to Write...

...but life just keeps happening around me and not leaving much time to breathe. I've been meaning to write about the things that have been coming home in SmallBoy's notebook, good & bad. I've been meaning to write about Girl's latest round of injuries (none due to her insane sports schedule, believe it or not). I've been meaning to write about LargeBoy's first "big purchase," and I don't count the iPod, since that was gift money. I've been meaning to write about the new paint job in the house so that we can jack up the equity and hopefully get a good re-finance rate. I've been meaning to write about how North Country is just crashing onto the scene. I've been meaning to write about SmallBoy's sleepover, when his bestest bud, PQ, stayed, and how the whole social thing played out. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK....I've had a lot to write about, but no time. When I manage to find the time, either someone else is on the computer, I'm insanely busy at work, or my laptop is busy crashing for the 10th time in 4hrs (no virus, it just hates me).

Let's start with SmallBoy, though, since he's the important one in this whole posting. I've mentioned before what great success we're having with the notebook that we're using to communicate between school and home. It's been helping all of us - SmallBoy, the teachers, and us, of course, to keep track of SmallBoy's comings and goings, send suggestions back to the teachers, send notes from J the Fabulous OT, etc... I've made smaller, one page, mini-notebooks for the teachers that he sees for the specials - music, art, Spanish, computer, library, gym. It truly is an amazing tool and I can't believe it took so long for me to pick up on it.

Every once in a while, though, I seem to be unprepared when the notebook comes home saying that SmallBoy had a bad day, even less prepared when he's had an awful day, and just dumbfounded when he's had an atrocious day. Why? Don't know. Last week, after having just a terrible week or so prior, due to schedules, Ex being a schmuck, SmallBoy feeling under the weather and just down on himself in general, the notebook came home and I was prepared. All week I had read about the difficulties that he had been having and sending the notebook back the next day with my tips and bits of SmallBoy wisdom. I didn't expect this entry to be any different than the rest, but was hopeful for something good. HA. I wish I could quote it verbatim, but I don't have it in front of me, but the premise was this: the teachers were chatting and thought that perhaps SmallBoy could also have ODD (for those of you not in the land of abbreviations, learning disabilities, and spectrum disorders, who just happen to be popping by for the first time, ODD is short for Oppostional Defiant Disorder). She asked if this is part of Asperger's, if it is something completely separate, etc. I've gotta tell you, I had that same, WTF moment that I had the first time the school suggested that there was something "wrong" with my child.

ASD, yes, maybe even a little ADHD when his engine gets really revved, but ODD???? Knowing now, from experience and learning, what I didn't know back then, I tried to push out the immediate reaction and attempted to look at it from the teacher's perspective, and consider everything that's been going on with SmallBoy. He's been melting down more frequently in class, especially when he has to make corrections or is overloaded on directions, etc...He's been not "showing respect" to the teachers in the school by speaking to them as he would a friend or a brother & sister when he disagrees with them. He's been melting even further if the teacher gets a little frustrated when he tries to leave the room during the middle of an assignment or classroom project because he's melting down. He's being loud and vocal in his objections to things. He's getting up from his seat and moving around more frequently. He's JUST NOT getting it with some of his assignments and getting upset by that.

Ok, I could see some of his behaviors mimicking those of ODD, but these behaviors are not exhibited outside of the school, and if they are, we understand why he's doing what he's doing and act appropriately, in ways, I suppose, they can't (or won't) at school. Don't get me wrong, I'm not speaking against the school or the teachers, I adore them, they're doing a wonderful job, and were it not for the notebook going back and forth, this situation could have gotten MUCH worse. I knew, again from the experience and scads of books that I've read, that ODD was NOT what we were looking at. The teachers happen to be with SmallBoy for some of the things that set him off the most - FRUSTRATION: due to comprehension issues with reading, due to not knowing how to handle his own disappointment, due to not being able to self-manage a meltdown, due to not being able to sit still, due to his need to be perfect to be "accepted," (gee, I'm pretty sure that I know from whence THIS came, Ex's lack of acceptance of him because in his eyes, SmallBoy is less than perfect?).

I wanted to be certain that I wasn't seeing this with the eyes of denial, as I did initially with the "something's wrong, we need you to have SmallBoy evaluated by the school district," conversation, so when we went to OT that night, I talked to J about the teachers' thoughts. She completely disagreed with the idea of ODD, but agreed with me, that yes, indeed, the teachers are with him for most of the things that will "set him off." She offered suggestions to the teachers, (ie: visual directions on the board in addition to oral directions to the class, allowing him to leave the classroom to a predetermined spot in order to self-manage a meltdown with the caveat that he must ask permission first, and a few more which I'll expand on in another post), and to us on helping SmallBoy learn more self-management techniques.

I am very pleased to report that since this "conversation," things have been better for him. Granted, he's still forgetting assignments, still having outbursts, etc, but he's learning to manage them MUCH better. One such instance happened just last week at an all-school mass. It was a LONG service and, in addition to the homily, there was an additional speaker. A 45-minute long mass is difficult on ANY child his age, especially when expected to act in a "proper" manner, but put this on an ASD-er, and then add an extra 15minutes for a speaker and the scene is set for trouble. Well, our SmallBoy, bored off his rocker with this ridiculously long service, let it be known that the speaker was taking WAAAAAAAAAYY too long! Everyone, of course, turned around to look and, instead of freaking because now everyone was staring, he used that moment of embarrassment (or the "oh-shit-moment"), to self-mange and compose himself. I have to applaud him for that! Since then, he's been fantastic! I'm SO proud of him.

To finish off his "lovely" week, SmallBoy had his "bestest bud" sleep over on Friday night. PQ is SmallBoy's rock and helps keep him on an even keel. He's a truly wonderful kid, we adore him! SmallBoy, as excited as he was about this sleepover, was off in SmallBoy Land. Oh yes, the boys definitely played together for quite a while, but when SmallBoy got bored, that was that. He would go off in another room and hole up with his GameBoy. PQ tried, I tried, PC tried...we all tried to get him to participate in fun things with us but all he wanted was his GameBoy. Perhaps this was his release for all of the stress from the week, because normally, he will come out of SmallBoy Land to hang with PQ and his buds, especially if it's on his turf. Not this time. He'd come out if he felt like it, or if they were playing the Game Cube, but other than that, it was a battle.

The next morning started off very well, the boys got up and played and were happy as clams. They discussed going out in the snow, since we had TONS of it outside. They played video games until I told them to stop. Yeah. That's when it got a little hairy, again. I asked them if they'd like to come and help me make breakfast, to which they both boisterously agreed. They wanted scrambled eggs, and we were going to make biscuits - something quick and easy, and something fun and tactile. I made the eggs and had the boys do the biscuits. Well, this time, SmallBoy was so upset with me for making him come and participate and turn off his game, that even the sensory that he loves so much of handmixing the biscuit dough and squishing it and getting it all over his fingers, was just way too much, but we got it done. It was time to roll and cut. I figured this would be fun, and it was. Each boy took turns rolling out the dough and using the glass to cut the biscuits. We got the biscuits out of the oven just in time for PQ's mom to arrive. We sent them on their way with half a dozen steaming biscuits fresh from the oven and all was well. SmallBoy, after PQ left, was totally bummed that his bestest bud was gone. Though I see this on a regular basis, I'm constantly amazed by the fact that, though SmallBoy wanted more to play with his GameBoy or Game Cube independently, and only interacted with PQ minimally, that he missed him so much when he was gone. What are friends for, though, right?

Ahhhh, m'ijita, my wittew goowah, Girl, in all her glory has managed to injure herself not once, but twice in different parts of her body over 4-day span. This used to be a regular occurence when she was little; we had a pool going on the block to see how many times in one summer she could skin her knees - no, seriously, we did. This time was beyond knee-skinning, however. This time, she was going for something big like "contusions" (she's rather fond of those). That's my Girl!

It all started on Friday at Mission Day, the school fair that benefits the Ursuline Sisters Mission. This is a big deal at school, and, being in 8th grade, it was her last one. She went all out. She won the "sacred" goldfish (long standing tradition - ring toss game, I think), and won a white cake, with chocolate frosting, topped in snow caps candies!! YUMMO!!!!! As the storm on Tuesday had dropped quite a heavy blanket of white fluffy snow upon us (not to mentione dropped the temperature quite a bit), the ground, as you can imagine, was quite frozen. Girl, SmallBoy, & Snood were getting a ride from Snood's father and, on her way to the car, she slipped. In the process of falling, she dropped the cake (which was saved by Snood's father, who would never let anything bad happen to chocolate), and tried to stop herself with one arm while attempting not to drop the goldfish bags. Let's just say the goldfish was in one piece.

(Update: I am now starting day 2 of this post) I was hopeful, when she called me at work and told me she fell, that she had just banged up her funny bone, because we all know what a sting that leaves. Those hopes were dashed when she delivered the next line, "Well, I can't really move it, and my arm is hanging funny." Thankfully I was at the end of my work day, so I bypassed my workout and went straight home to don my Dr. Mom hat. Her arm was definitely hanging funny, but I'm fairly certain that was due to the gigantic swelling of her elbow. She was able to bend it up and touch her shoulder, with pain, mind you, but she could do it. That pretty much quelled any worries I had about it being broken, but you never can tell. I thought about taking her for "just-in-case" x-rays, but they would have been fruitless with all of the swelling. Instead I plied her full of Ibuprofen and the heat/ice treatment and just made her rest. I kept her home from softball practices all weekend, and, thankfully, there wasn't much in the way of basketball. Within a couple of days, the swelling, and the pain, had gone...

...just in time for the 8th grade ski trip. Yep. I said "ski trip." This was a MUCH anticipated trip that had already been cancelled once due to the freezing temps with an even more freezing -30degree windchill. Fortunately, the two week span allowed the sun to awaken from its winter slumber and force its way out from behind the dreary gray winter clouds to warm the earth, or at least out little part of it, to a beautiful 35degrees. The ground was covered with many more inches of snow due to a massive snow storm earlier in the week (see pic at right), and the kids were more than willing to get up at the crack of dawn on their day off to hop on the bus at 6:30 in the morning. They skied all day, somewhere up in Wisconsin or Michigan and finally called around 8:30 that night to say they were almost home, exhausted, but exhilirated. When I spoke with Girl, I asked how the trip was. Her answer, "Well, mom, the first two hours were great, but I hurt my ankle and spent the rest of the day in the lodge. I'll tell you about it when I get home."

My immediate thought went to how lucky she was that she hadn't broken her elbow a few days back, and that I hoped we weren't tempting fate. After hobbling through the door with PC & ET, we did the ibuprofen heat/ice thing (again) while we listened to her tale of woe. The story began with her all so brief lesson on the bunny hill. She quickly ascended through the ranks and graduated from her 20minute course with flying colors. Next she moved on to the beginner hill, which she conquered with ease. Feeling bold, as she is want to do, she took to the intermediate hill. She was cruising along, and was almost to the bottom when IT happened: her ski fell off. Thankfully, she was pretty much at the bottom and was preparing to stop anyway. Unfortunately, the lack of ski left her a little out of control and as she tried to stop, she tumbled into a woman who had already finished the hill. If someone had a video camera, this would have made perfect fodder for AFV, as, after Girl fell into the woman, a classmate came down the hill and fell onto them. I'm not going to get into how rude and uncaring the ski patrol guy was because that's another story, but we'll just leave it at the fact that he was a very incondsiderate jerk who told my daughter that he could have her thrown in jail for being out of control on the ski hill...even the woman she fell onto was defending her.

ANYWAY, of course she did something in the fall to injure herself. We're still not quite certain what it is, but she wasn't swollen this time. Perhaps x-rays would have been helpful, but, nah. We think that she pulled a ligament or something. Thankfully, some pain spray and a couple of really hot baths helped to work this out and she was back at basketball practice the next night. Wearing the Smart Mom hat this time, I intercepted one of the coaches who, thankfully, had already heard the story, and let him know that she was insisting on practicing, but not to let her run. She's fine now, just home with the flu, or something normal like that, now.

LargeBoy - my child is growing up on me. Many moons ago, he played the cello and has since abandoned it for the bass guitar. He is quite accomplished in his songwriting (and novel writing), and has also taken up the acoustic guitar. Taking after his mother and step-dad, he and his buddies are working together to write music (I'm beaming with pride). LargeBoy's had a few issues with his bass, as it's old - I bought it used for him in 2002. It finally cashed out on him last weekend while he was at his friend's house writing. He called me and said, "Mom, is it ok if I buy a new bass? I've got the money, and I've already called the store and they've got one for $500, one for just over $200, and a couple for $99. I'm not even thinking about the $99 ones and I can't afford the $500 one. So, since I have the money saved up, can I go buy it?" We had a conversation about what he was saving the money for, originally - and is still saving for, an Outward Bound trip, and came to the conclusion that, well, it's his money, and he can spend it as he chooses; that he won't be going on the Outward Bound trip for at least another year or two, and that gives him time to save up again. For the most part, just the fact that he called me to ask my permission to make a major purchase, even though it was with his own money, showed me how incredibly responsible he's getting. He'll have no problem saving up the money for his trip! I'm so proud.

I was hoping to have the pictures of the new paint job that we did up already, but they're still in my camera and my laptop is just being stupid, so I haven't loaded them, but I promise I'll try real soon. The colors are fab!

Finally, the band is just bursting out into the world right now. This is keeping us oh so busy, and we're loving it. We've been writing, recording, promoting and haven't had a whole heck of a lot of time to do much else. We put together a demo of a few of the songs we've written, and a couple of cover tunes, and made a fabulous, professional looking insert for it....just tickles me pink. This is so much more than we ever got done with the previous band - and North Country's only been together since January, really. We've received airtime on a few internet stations, including the Susie Doo & Mandy Too Show on Thursdays 1:00 on HomeGrown Radio. Next week we'll be doing a live interview on the airwaves between 5 & 7 CST. See the widget in my sidebar for more info. I'm blanking on the station's .com, but I'll have that and post it ASAP. AND, if you haven't already, click on the little box off to the side here, to listen to our originals. We're extremely pleased with them. The most recent, Pick the Tune, was written by our bass player on Feb. 12, recorded on Feb. 13, and given to his wife as a Valentine's gift the next day. Click here to find out when and where you can hear and see North Country. I can't begin to tell you how incredibly exciting this is!

In the meantime, since I've "talked" your ear off, I'll post this and go back to doing my day job (since I'm sitting at my desk in my office on company time).

No School, North Country, New Things

I have a love/hate relationship with the kids' days off from school. It makes my mornings SO much easier when, in my rush to get off to work, I don't have to stop mid-routine and wake up one, then the other, then another (repeatedly). Then again, Girl wants to go shopping, LargeBoy has school....what to do with SmallBoy? Granted, he's 10, and, were he NT, he could probably stay home by himself, but I don't think I'd be too comfortable with that ~ a dilemma with which working parents grapple each time the school calendar bolds those two words: NO SCHOOL.

Today we worked out a compromise, Girl didn't leave to go shopping until almost noon, and PC was going to be home around 3. I work 7minutes away, so I can get home in an emergency. We briefed him on what was going on. He's been home alone for 1/2hr/45 minute stints before, when he gets home from school and his brother and/or sister haven't arrived yet. He's fine. He gets up in the morning WELL before we're ready to and is able to occupy himself, although, it's usually with the TV, the computer, or video games...but the point is, he's able. I called a few times to check on him, but he never answers the phone which, I suppose, is for the best. He's fine. I'll be more fine when I get home.

Saturday night the new band, North Country, made its debut. I will have to admit that, although I attempted, and probably pulled off, an air of calm and don't-worry-be-happy, I was PETRIFIED....not because I wasn't confident in the band, I knew they'd rock, but because it was a first. I took for granted the comfort that comes with knowing where everything's going to fall, how people will interact on stage, what people have come to expect of the band...but it was fine. We had a few glitches, but whatever we encountered, we overcame and laughed off, especially our double - time song, Redneck Women (Alvin & the Chipmunks Style). We had a riot, though. I absolutely cannot wait to do it again. These people are so talented and so professional, and we were all right here under each others' noses.

I also had the good fortune to meet fellow autism blogger, Wade and his daughter, L, who had the great timing to be in town over the weekend. I can't tell you how cool it was to finally meet him (THANX FOR COMING - and staying longer than you had planned!) It was really nice to finally put a face, and a voice, to the amazing, "discussion - inspiring" posts over at Injecting Sense. I gotta tell ya, he's really cool! You gotta meet him!

In addition to the band, there are a lot of new things going on in our life, but I'll speak to the most important - that being the Not-So-SmallBoy. He spent Saturday night with my mom (GR), because Girl & LargeBoy were at Ex's. SmallBoy has a great time when he's there, he has a place to chill, sans all the distractions that our house and our schedules and our lives have to offer. Just SmallBoy & GR. When he got home, his engine was nice and regulated, as were mine & PC's, but, of course, as the afternoon rolled on and things got back to "normal," everyone's engines revved up high and we all got a little irritable.

SmallBoy ended up in his room cooling off/arguing with me over his GameBoy until I told him he had to clean his room. That, as you would expect, was met with a great big, "WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!" As we sat and talked together, I explained to him that I did not expect this Herculean task to be done all in one session, and made him a list of what he needed to do - Lists are beautiful things! After a few more trips up the stairs by PC & me, and some gentle prodding, the task got done. We had also turned on some of his Listening Therapy music (btw - the frequencies still play on the boom box the way they do in the headphones). His engine came WAY back down. I went up at 9 to check on him and he was, for the most part, done with the list I had written for him. Of course there is still some work, I called it "fine tuning," to be done, but he had finished what I had set for him. Dressed in his blue fuzzy sports robe and his boxer shorts, he was ready to come back down stairs and join us, but stopped before he did so. We are keeping Snood for a few days while her parents are out of town, so SmallBoy has an extra sister, and he knows that, even though she is at our house so much that she is practically another one of our family, she is still a guest. He stopped and said to me, "Mom, I need to put my clothes back on. We have Snood here and I can't go downstairs in my robe & sleep shorts." COOOOOOOL!

We have been trying, for a LONG time, to get him to grasp the concept of being dressed appropriately when we have guests, even when it's bedtime. He would always come down in his tighty whities when he was getting ready for bed, or if he got up first (which he usually does). This time, though...it was as though something clicked. TaDA!

I'm going to try and write more again, but we're making some huge decisions in our life right now and they're wracking my nerves a bit, but hey, that'll be something to write about, won't it. Tonight, though, I don't think I'll get to it. My goal is to get the DAMN TREE DOWN! Yes, my Christmas tree is still up. I just haven't had time to get to it. It's never an easy thing, and it's never even close to as much fun and festive as putting it up. One year our tree was up til Valentine's Day (and beyond~~~sorry, my brain was invaded by the spirit of Buzz Lightyear). It WILL come down tonight. We actually discussed putting a drop of superglue on each ornament and just carrying it out to the garage...LOLOLOLOL. We also thought of telling people that yes, in fact, we had already taken our tree down, but that we looked at our calendar and saw that we have no time between now and next Christmas to put it up again, so, the only logical time to put the tree of for Christmas 2007 was, well, now.

I need coffee....anyone have coffee???????

"You Must Respect My Authoritah!"

For those of you who abhor South Park and all of its content, I apologize, but considering the post, I think that was a very appropriate opening line. For those of you who LOVE South Park, you'll understand. For those of you asking, "Just what the HELL is she talking about," well, just keep reading.

At the beginning of 2nd quarter, we started sending "the notebook" to and from school - the Communication Notebook. It's been a lifesaver for both PC & me and for SmallBoy's teachers. It has become something that we NEED...I need that notebook when I get home to find out what happened during the day; Mrs. M needs the notebook first thing in the morning to find out how he's doing, where SmallBoy's engine is, and how his spirits are, if he's having issues with homework, behavior, whatever.

The end of last week and beginning of this week were great. The only thing the notebook said was, "Great day today," or "Another GREAT day." I was SO excited, we were on a roll after coming out of a slump that, I believe was fueled by the bug that was visiting our house, anxiety about a test, and the stress around the house of trying to be in 12 places at once. The last couple of days, however, the notebook has said, "Great morning, but this afternoon at the all-school assembly, SmallBoy got upset when not picked by the presenter for an audience participant. Ms. B (the principal - also a lifesaver), had to take him out into the hallway and calm him. After the assembly, he joined us back in class." Yesterday, I ran into Mrs. M after work, we occasionally cross paths where we exercise....she decompressing from a day with high strung students, including SmallBoy, and me decompressing from a day with high strung students, a totally silly corporate system, and getting re-fueled to go home to SmallBoy and to play cab driver to all of Girl's sports (it's playoffs this week). Mrs. M said to me yesterday, "We had a FANTASTIC afternoon, but the morning was terrible. He's having a problem with being disprespectful."

I wanted to be surprised and say, "NO, not MY SmallBoy. He knows better. He has been taught to respect those in authority roles," but I knew that what comes out of an ASD mouth can VERY easily be taken as disprespectful, though it is not. Angry outburst, inability to pre-censor and think twice to rephrase and change the tone of voice....yeah, that can very easily be taken as disrespect.

I guess what happened was that Ms. R, the Social Studies teacher, had given them homework for that night, and SmallBoy wanted to do it right then and there. She told him that it was HOMEwork to be done at HOME. He was not satisfied and asked if he could go out in the hall and do it. She stressed to him, again, that this was classtime to work on the lesson, not homework time. I guess he then got extremely upset and threw a marker across the room out of frustration, and proceeded to have a bit of a tantrum.

We had a little talk when I got home last night. SmallBoy was very aware that what he had done was not appropriate for the classroom. I applauded him for being able to tell me WHY he had gotten upset (and identifying that he was, in fact, upset - AND SORRY). I asked him why he had behaved the way he had and he told me, simply, "Mom, I wanted to do my homework then, not later and I got angry when I couldn't get my way."

WOW!!He told me that he was angry and WHY he got angry. I was so happy I wanted to hug him and tell him how awesome it was that he did that, but it was time for me to play the bad cop. "SmallBoy, who is in charge at school?"
"The teachers and the other grown ups."
"SmallBoy, when you're at school, does anyone else get their way by throwing things, yelling, or having tantrums?"
"No."
"Does anyone else yell at the teacher?"
"No."
"SmallBoy, what did we just learn?"
"That the teachers are in charge, not me."

What a wonderful insight. Let's just hope that he remembered that past 8:00 this morning and then, was able to find that tidbit in the file cabinet of the Asperger's mind. I think this is something that should, perhaps, be a social story, or, at the very least, written on a notecard inside of his folder or desk.

Comments, suggestions, ideas? Anyone have a bottle of Pinot Noir?

Adolescence & the Spectrum

Made you laugh, didn't it? Sometimes I need something absolutely hysterical like that to keep my head from drooping on the days when I feel totally overloaded. There are still many of those days, but as far as Asperger's is concerned, those days are coming fewer and farther between. While reading Kyra's post on Talking About Autism, I completely related to her feeling that somedays, she just doesn't feel like writing, because she doesn't feel there's anything to write about. I am, however, closer to a new aspect of Asperger's than she, and was inspired, by her post, to write about that - the OTHER "A" word - Adolescence.

SmallBoy is 10. Mentally ready for adolescence or not, it will be happening soon. Fortunately, I have the experience of having 2 children, one boy, one girl, go through this already, so I will be prepared and be able to read the physical signs - the hormone fluctuations, the changing voice, the skin issues, the moodiness - noooooo wait! That's something we see all the time. Moodiness, at least as far as we've experienced with SmallBoy, can be akin to teenage puberty moodiness. This leads me to wonder what other things we may miss or "gloss over" because we are so used to them as part of ASD and not take notice to them as what they are - warning signs of a teenager!

I'm tempted to reach out to those of you who have gone through adolescence with an ASD child and ask for advice or a list of "what to watch for," but, as well all know one child on the spectrum will experience and have different reactions to things than another. How then, is a parent to find their way through puberty with a child on the spectrum? The same way you got through early childhood - you feel your way, you lean on other parents, you ask for help, you vent, you celebrate, you question, you problem solve, until you've reached the point where Kyra and I are now...on an even enough keel to feel like you're above water more often than not. And guess what? When you get to that point, it will more than likely be time for your child to be hitting adulthood and all of it's issues.

For now, though, I'm not going to look too far ahead. I'm going to look at the strides we've made in the last couple of years and rejoice. I'm going to start looking ahead to the puberty years so that I can, at least for my own sanity, have SOME kind of an idea of what I'm about to enter. At the same time, I'm going to remind myself of some of the lessons that I have learned: acceptance, love, how to avoid a mommy-meltdown, and doing things for myself, for PC and me, and for Girl & LargeBoy. I am, though, open to suggestions, advice, anecdotes, horror stories of adolescent ASD....no time better than the present!

Cross Promoting Music & Autism Awareness

PC and I have, for a while, been wracking our brains trying to figure out a way that we can use our music to benefit autism and autism awareness. We finally figured it out. With our combined resources and networking from here and from our multiple myspace sites (North Country, PC's site, my site), we discovered there are a multitude of sources who can help us to organize a benefit, perhaps an afternoon or evening of entertainment, music, comedy, fun stuff! In that light, I'm going to repost our call for help in the hopes that all of you phenemenal folks, ASD parents, music lovers, etc....may have some ideas! Please feel free to send us your suggestions - we'll take as many as you come up with. Also, if you'd like to help, from near or far, we would be SO happy to have you on our team!

Cross promoting North Country & Autism Awareness

Hi all! I'm reposting a message from North Country , the band that my hubby, my bro-in-law, and I are in, in the hopes that perhaps somewhere out there, someone has the knowledge, the willingness, and the time and committment to help us put together a benefit concert/evening of entertainment to help raise Autism Awareness and do some fundraising while we're at it! Thanks for your support!
MommyGuilt

We here at North Country would like to thank everyone for joining us on our site,and welcome those who are new to the gang! We've gone through a lot of changes in the last month, some that can be really nerve wracking,and we can't thank you enough for your support!

We promise that, in addition to the video clip, we will have music up on the site soon. We have a gig Jan.27th and will use the live recordings on our site until we get into the studio. The live discs will be available to those who want them for a nominal fee. Keep in touch and we'll see you all really soon!

Also, we are interested in forming a benefit concert for Autism Awareness in the near future. Would anyone be interseted in helping out? Let us know! Until then, you know where to find us!
Thanks again!
PC

Back to School, Big Block of Wood Day Arrives, and SO Much More

Everyone goes back to school today! WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I'm having very mixed emotions about it - ecstatic because life now returns to some sense of our chaotic normalcy, making things more structured for our SmallBoy, yet distressed, saddened, disappointed because now things get crazy, SmallBoy might begin stressing again, more demands on our time (like there aren't too many already), but you know...today is the first day of back to school, yes, but it's one day closer to summer vacation!

SmallBoy's Party
Break went out with a bang, and a with feeling of perpetual motion. I don't recall sleeping very much this weekend either, and not for many really good reasons. Friday night, SmallBoy had his end of break sleepover with his friends. It went very well. SmallBoy was just happy that they had "ulimited" video game time. What they didn't realize was that we would periodically interrupt video time to do something else. Not too many meltdowns, not too much of "SmallBoy's rules only," and NO couch jumping! I think there was actually a time when they were all quiet. Sleep did not come easy Friday not, but, surprisingly, the four 9 & 10 yr old boys were not the reason, granted they were awake. The young college sophomore who lives next door to us was also having an end of break party. Loud, yet courteous, TONS of people, yet very polite, but loud - more the music and the talking outside. Our houses are so close that I could look out my window and feel like I'm in the room with them. The boys didn't sleep much either, but I think that was more due to the fact that I had forgotten to send the video game systems with LargeBoy when he went to bed.

For Christmas, we had given SmallBoy two games which he became familiar with while at OT, Tricky Fingers and Rush Hour Deluxe. Both games use problem solving and small motor skills (Tricky Fingers takes Small motor down to fine motor, though). Tricky Fingers consists of two square (ish) boxes filled with colored marbles. The bottom of each box has holes the size of the marbles. The object of the game is to manipulate the marbles with your fingers to create the pattern shown on a game card. What's spectacular about this game is that it can be played alone, or, in two different ways as a challenge - both players using the same card or each with his own. We pulled this game out as the kids were gathering their belongings and waiting to be picked up. It took a while, but once I got them interested in how "cool" this was, they were happy to turn off the video games to come and check it out.

The other game, Rush Hour (we have the Deluxe version), takes "puzzle" to a new level. The game is a grid of squares, "gridlock" cards at varying levels of skill, and plastic vehicles. The vehicles are placed on the grid according to the pattern on the card. The object is to clear a path so that the main car (in the regular version it's an ice cream truck, in ours it is a shiny red car) can make its way off of the gameboard. This game makes you think - the cars cannot be picked up and moved, nor can they turn - they can only move along the line of the grid upon which they rest. I have managed to get through the beginner stage with relative ease, and moved on somewhat successfully to the intermediate stage, while LargeBoy sat down and completed all 15 of the Grand Master skill level cards. SmallBoy LOVES this game, and loves to come and help me out of my "jams" too. It takes the whole Temple Grandin theory of thinking in pictures to a new level. I sort of saw that this game would definitely be one that would involve the visual-ness that our ASD'ers so often use, but it wasn't until I was stuck on a puzzle last night and LargeBoy enlightened me with "Well, Mom, you sort of have to think of it as a picture and work backwards from there," that it clicked and the lightbulb switched on. I HIGHLY recommend these games! They'll be good for the kids, but trust me, you'll find yourself drawn to them.

New Band
Saturday afternoon we finally had the opportunity to rehearse as a full band: PC, ET, Joey Pinks, Dreverb, and me. We had done a couple of mini-rehearsals with Joey Pinks so that the guitars would be on the same track before we went into a full rehearsal, so it wasn't a totally foreign thing, and for one, we had ET there banging on some congas (in lieu of a full drum kit). Saturday afternoon though, we gathered in the basement with all of us, all of our equipment, and amps, and we sounded, not like a band playing together for the very first time, but like a band that was ready to roll. We just gelled and it all came together: the personalities, the talent, the outlook on what we each wanted to do and where we wanted to go with the music. It was fantastic. We topped the night off by going to hear Joey Pinks play in one of his other bands (he's very, well, busy). Phenomenal!

Happiness
We were all completely wiped out by late Saturday afternoon, between SmallBoy's lack-of-sleep over party, the party next door, and rehearsal, that when we returned home from rehearsal, all of us just needed to crash. PC went to take ET back home and SmallBoy was craving some snuggle/squeeze time, not to mention that he was dead tired, too. LargeBoy was on the couch playing video games so SmallBoy and I snuggled up, also on the sofa, smushing Largeboy into a corner. We snuggled and relaxed. Before I knew it, my sweet angel was asleep. My arm was dead asleep underneath him and my neck was kinked badly from the awkward way that I was laying, but I was so content. The combination of SmallBoy's "sleep breathing" and his little heart just beating away made it feel like he was purring. It's been a long time since he's fallen asleep on me like that - without being sick and suffering through an asthma attack. This was pure bliss. I was so content, and having such the "happy mommy" moment, that I forgot all about the dead limb and the krick in the neck, and dozed off right along side him. Peaceful.

Big Block of Wood Day
Sunday, the day designated as the day of rest, the final day of winter break for the kids, the day that's meant to be the one on which you either sit around and do nothing, or you cram in everything that you didn't get done during the rest of the week. We spent Sunday running non-stop. Girl had softball practice, now mandatory, from 11:30 - 12:45 at one of the local private high schools' gyms, SmallBoy had to be at school by 12:30 for the official weigh-in for the Pinewood Derby, and then Girl had to be back at our gym by 12:45 for a basketball game against the rivals from the rich suburb to our immediate west. It was sheer insanity, but we made it work. The only other thing we had to juggle was how to be at SmallBoy's derby and and Girl's game at the same time.

The Pinewood Derby runs by Den, starting with the youngest, the Tiger Scouts. SmallBoy's den, Weebelos I, is the second oldest, so they run second to last. The race, that was supposed to begin at 1:00, finally got underway at 1:45 after all of the rules and all of the admonishments for "stepping across, or crossing the plane of, THE LINE with any body part were laid out, and where the scouts were allowed to sit and where they were not allowed to even breathe near (given of course by Mr. Former Cub Master - you know, the one who said and did those mean things to SmallBoy at camp). Girl's game started at 1:30. While the race got underway, I bolted down to the gym to watch the 2nd quarter of her game, as it was clear that SmallBoy's den would not be running for a while. The girls were playing the team that everyone wants to beat. They played them and lost over break, once before break, and will play them again for the final home game of the regular season - which is our big spirit night. When I arrived, we were down by 9 with 3minutes left in the half. All of a sudden, one of our girls hits 2 three pointers and then hits a jumper with a foul. She missed her free throws, but suddenly, at the half, we were only down by one point, there was hope. I bolted back down to the derby, filled in the other parents who were also trying to do double duty (there are a lot of them at our school), and sent PC back to the gym. At 2:15, SmallBoy's den still wasn't close to running, so I talked to him and to a couple of the dads and went back down to the gym. Sadly, the girls ended up losing, but they played their butts off.

FINALLY it was time for our den. PC and SmallBoy had this nervous energy just exuding from them while I tried desperately to conceal - and manage - my anxiety pangs as I strategized in my head, and with PC about how we were going to handle the meltdown if he lost, crashed, or didn't make it to the finish line. First three boys raced. There was a wreck, it was beautiful, every one laughed and the race was re-run. Then it was SmallBoy's heet. We inhaled, 3 - 2 - 1...car one pulls away, car two comes up from behind, car three rolls to a stop on the straightaway, that was ours. We watched as SmallBoy's frustration level went up and he put on his mad face (and it's a doozy). I said to him, "SmallBoy, BREATHE! BREATHE!" And he did. He was pissed off, but he was ok.

Phew, round one done. Two more heets and it was our turn again. I prayed, promised God I would sing 7:30am mass for the rest of my life, inhaled and watched the whole scenario play out again, only this time, our car was in a different lane. Still stopped on the straightaway. I guess God knew that I had no intention of doing a year 7:30 masses. Again, "SmallBoy, BREATHE! The frustration rose even higher, and it was MUCH more difficult for him to manage his impending meltdown, but he did it. The leaders told us that we could make repairs to our car if needed. In our case, it was the tire. It hadn't cracked, it hadn't fallen off, it wasn't wobbly; no, it was something about the physical tire itself. It needed to be changed, but there was not enough time. PC and SmallBoy worked together to see if they could do ANYTHING AT ALL to make the car at least cross the finish line in the final run. If you look closely at the pic, you can even see SmallBoy is smiling.

Third run, different lane, same result. "WHAT?! I DON'T GET IT!" Oh, he was SO NOT a happy camper. I followed up with more directions to breathe, which he did. We was SO mad, but he did it, he pulled himself out of it and went on to cheer on his friends, including Dreverb's son, who was also racing that day, and, whom he had met for the first "official" time yesterday. As stressful as the race was for all of us, I was incredibly pleased to see that all of the prep work that we had done with SmallBoy and, invariably, with ourselves, paid off. I would definitely call it a success.

MaizeyCat Sunflower
Those of you who are at least my age might have some kind of a flashback to the words, "Klondike Cat Alwaaaays gets his mouse!" Anyone? Anyone? Klondike Cat, as I remember, was one of the cartoons on The Underdog Show. He was tormented by the mouse, Savoir Faire and his classic howl of escape, "Savoir Faire eees everywhere!" This phrase has been running through my head since yesterday when my lovely OCF FINALLY caught and killed the mouse. We had to take it away from her because she was planning on having it for a snack. Now, I know that cats eat mice all the time, but this was just to gross for words, so we decided to nip it in the bud. Once we had all settled from our mouse-capades, Maizey appears with ANOTHER mouse in her clutches. This one was just a little baby and I was having some serious mommy issues, but I quickly got past them. Sadly, we were a tad too late in taking it from her, and she'd already begun to partake of the mouse. We were only able to throw out half of it, the other somewhere in cat-land. I think, I hope, that the other mice have learned from this, but I am so glad to know that IF they get in, I've got a damn good mouser. See how happy and contended she is in this pic. All curled up like a little fluffball. Good Girl Maizecat.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia
And before I leave you, after this LONG post, I wanted to introduce you to the newest daily post, at least for the next two weeks or so. SmallBoy received a Chia Pet - Garfield - for Christmas. We started his seeds on New Years Day and applied them on 1/2. The other day, we decided that we would start tracking its growth on a daily basis - it really IS amazing how this works and how quickly it grows. I leave you with yesterday's pic and the one from the day before. Tomorrow, I'll post today's picture. If nothing else, it's something fun to start the new year!
Saturday's Chia - 1/6/07. Girl is fascinated with the Chia and is obsessed with touching it - think it's a sensory issue? Nah, just Girl, she's silly that way!
Sunday's Chia - 1/7/07 - See! Look at this progress, it's amazing. Hours, maybe 4, later, it had already gotten a bit fuller. I've always joked about Chia's, but it's really kind of fascinating, and SmallBoy's totally getting into it, too, which is truly the best part!

Update: Girl stayed home with the flu today. I was going to send her to school - she's been headache-y for about 24hrs, couldn't sleep last night, but she's tough. I knew she'd be able to hang in. Then she hurled. Needless to say, she's home, on the couch today, watching movie after movie after movie, extending her break by a day (but what a crappy way to get an extra day - YUCK!)

Big Block of Wood Day (and a Cat vs Mouse update)

It is time, once again, for the Cub Scouts to have their annual Pinewood Derby race (or, as I like to call it, "Big Block of Wood Day,". Last year, was SmallBoy's first run at this, so he and PC diligently spent hours upon hours preparing the ultimate car for racing. On the first run, SmallBoy's wheel fell off and the rest of the afternoon was spent melting after each race until, finally, SmallBoy's & PC's car won 3rd place for design in his Den. It was a rough one.

This year, though, we are prepared. How prepared? The weigh-in is tonight. The boys (SmallBoy & PC, that is) are spending today cutting, sanding, & painting. After the weigh-in, they will make any minor adjustments (like attaching the wheels - we'll weigh it with the wheels & nails resting on top of the car). We've spent quite a bit of time recapping last year's race with SmallBoy to stress and restress the importance of participation in the activity over WINNING the activity. We discussed and got him to remember how MANY other cars also had "technical difficulties" and didn't win a single race. We also reminded him that, although "The Shadow" (this year's car) is going to be REALLY cool and perfectly designed, there's still a large chance that it won't win - and THAT'S OK.

I think he'll have a better time dealing with that this year. It's been a year of growth for all of us. We've ALL learned how to handle things - be it extra preparation, an extra glass of wine for ME before the event so that I stay calm if he melts, learning from experience, etc....Also SmallBoy had the opportunity to participate in a basketball tournament over break. The school holds a 3-on-3 tournament the last week of winter break for the students. The teams are structured with kids from 4th - 8th grade - with one representative from each grade on each time, both boys and girls (sadly, siblings cannot be on the same team). To encourage the older kids to pass to the younger ones, the points work in such a way that a basket scored by a 4th grader is worth 5pts (10 in the last 2minutes), whereas a basket scored by an 8th grader is only worth one point. The 8th graders are not allowed to block the 4th graders either. It's a wonderful thing.

In this tournament, SmallBoy's has lost all but one game and, today in the single elimination playoffs, lost to his sister's team by a score of 76 - 46 (OUCH). But he scored A LOT! He's also learned about playing a game with a team, and by pre-set rules that he cannot change to suit him. The first game that he lost, he melted - bigtime. His sister and one of the teacher's (who knows our family very well), helped him out of it and he was fine. He had a mini-melt (as we like to call them) another time, and handled it all by himself. He's doing better at those - when he wants to. I told him how proud we are of him and that pleased him greatly. I am crossing my fingers (but not holding my breath) that this experience will carry over to the Pinewood Derby and will help build his confidence in himself and his ability to deal with his "Aspie-ness". I'll keep you posted.

Tonight, after the big weigh-in, SmallBoy is having three of his buddies, PQ, GC & GV over for a sleepover - he's calling it "The Last Bash of Winter Break." Girl & LargeBoy will be, in theory, with their father this weekend (though even that is becoming less frequent - did I mention New Wife is expecting AGAIN?). SmallBoy, then, will have the run of the house. He's got elaborate plans for a video game-a-thon (GOD HELP ME!), but he'll be having fun. I'm excited for him. Hopefully we won't have any uninvited furry friends again.

Maizecat went on the prowl again yesterday and caught the escaped mouse. She did not learn from her lesson , though. She kept letting it go and batting at it. She kept this up for over an hour - silly kitty. When the poor mouse was last freed, we're assuming it ran off and died somewhere, hopefully outside, because we didn't see a mouse corpse anywhere in the house - YET - and, the cats were very content last night. They moused for a bit, but then curled up and snoozed, as they do, and Maizey spent the night in bed with us, as she does. Check out the previous post if you missed our first adventure with the mouse - Ooh ooh and if you did, you can also see the "video" of PC, JG, and me (3 of 5 North Country members) performing - at home - a newly arranged version of the song that PC has written, Blue Star Highway. GO. NOW. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease! See, I've given you LOTS of links!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

PC & I got this cool new mini cam corder from GR for Christmas. We're also in the process of giving birth to our new musical child - no no no, not that way, new band. We played with our new toy tonight to introduce our new band. Here's the child - then go over to our myspace and see what's new!

My Christmas Vacation Essay:

I have been on vacation from work since I got off on Friday. I, sadly, will be returning back to the real world next Tuesday. This week is flying past before I can blink and I realizing that I should have requested two weeks off so that I could maximize the time with my family. This week, busy as it has been, has been terrific, exciting, fun-filled, and, at the same time, completely exhausting, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat. You know that I'm a picture geek, so just be prepared, I've got a lot of catching up to do. Let's start with Christmas gifts (I know, it's materialistic,but I want to show off what I got!). This beautiful watch I received from my beloved PC. I am always needing to know what time it is, and without a watch on my arm, I'm lost. For the last year, I've been watchless. This has kept me from leaving the office on my lunch hour, for fear of coming back late. Isn't it beautiful? And it's a silvery, antique looking, very feminine watch to make me feel very lady-like (I need help with that sometimes). He's such a love, only finds the best for me!

I got another Marti piece from my MIL. I now own three "Martis" and I love each. This particular piece is called "Bo Peep." It's a sweet little necklace, very innocent, and subtle, yet making sure it's noticeable that people say, "Wow! Great necklace, where did you get that?" You know me, I can't resist the urge to plug a sister blogger, let alone a sister blogger who is family! I proudly say, "OH! It IS wonderful! Let me write down this site for you. Each piece is individual, so if you find one on her site that you enjoy, snap it up right away, because it may not be there the next time you visit." Had I better photography skills, this might have been a little closer of an image and you could see the detail of the sweet little flower pressed into the round clay of the pendant and the bit of bead detailing leading up to the chain. If you've not checked Marti's site out in a while, GO NOW (then go check out her blog)! You'll fall in love!

After reading the post by Mom-NOS, I knew that I MUST have this book and put it so far at the top of my Christmas list that everyone wanted to go out and get it for me. I received George & Sam from my father this year and I can't wait to dive in. I'm terribly excited, as I received two autism books this year - this and Al Capone Does My Shirts (from Meem). I'm very excited not only because I've been dying to read this books, but because they'll give my poor brain a break from doing sudoku every day at lunch!

This beautiful bookmark, from Auntie, will help me keep my place. I don't get to see Auntie very often, but she's always so thoughtful and loving and generous. My memories of Christmas with Auntie are so wonderful. When we were kids, my family would always spend Christmas Eve at Auntie's doing the big Italian Christmas - mostaccioli, sausage, meatball, and my grandfather's calamari. We got stuffed, opened presents, spent wonderful, memorable evenings being big goofballs (never once making a nice, straight face in our pictures), and having a blast. As adults, we were there telling our children to make straight faces and not be goofs, policing up the gift wrap, keeping the children from running amok, and snarfing fabulous food! I miss Christmas at Auntie's, but we're "all growed up" with kidlets of our own now, and lots of places to be all at the same time. Auntie always keeps us close to her, though. Thanks, Auntie, I love it!!!!! Merry Christmas! (Can you see the charm? It says "#1 Mom"!!!)

Lots of wonderful presents were given and received. Girl made me some wonderful soaps and a coupon book - my favorite coupons being, "A whole day of the computer all to [my]self," "One free Scwatchy," and -this one's hysterical, "I will pee for you," because I'm constantly asking people to go for me because I'm usually too busy to stop and do it myself.

Meltdowns were at a minimum for the SmallBoy for Christmas, at least with me. He did go to Ex's, but they were not there for the whole weekend - because they were all sick - RIIIIIIGHT! Oh, and we also found out that there will be another new addition to Ex's family, so we know that SmallBoy will never be visiting Ex's house for any extended length of time.

We made it through Christmas day, miraculously meltdown free - I sent him off to Ex's with NO game system, but promised him that I'd bring it for ours. When they got to Meem's I let him have it and let him play to decompress before we bolted out of there (sadly, didn't have time for dinner because we had to get to MY family's in time for presents). We went on to my aunt's house, opened presents, and went home. NO melting - there was a lot of boredom and wanting to go home, but no meltdowns - til Tuesday at Dad's, and even that wasn't bad, that was just speaking out loud and inappropriately about how he didn't like his presents - he wanted video games, I told everyone not to get video games, gave them lists - weighted balls, boxer shorts, board games, cool light up toys. He really did want these things, and was glad to have them once he got over the fact that there were no video games. We had to get through the, "but I don't WANT these! I didn't ASK for these!", but we did. When we left my father's though, we got to take KR home with us!

I'll put together a slide show next time I get the computer, but here are some of the fun things we did. We spent the day in the city yesterday, KR, PC, SmallBoy, and I - enjoy these!


Our first stop after we got off the train was to go see the windows at Marshall Field's (I refuse to call it the "M" word). The theme this year was Mary Poppins. It was cute, but the characters looked kind of creepy - but the children watching it were SO excited! You could just see the light and the wonder in their eyes as they looked at THIS window - trying desperately to figure out how they got the display to float, as in the "I Love to Laugh" part of the movie.


We had a BLAST when we went inside Field's and hit the hat section! Here are SmallBoy & KR modeling! We had some silly moments and some people who just looked at us like we were totally off our rockers!


Off we went to Millenium Park and goofed off for a couple of hours. We were going to go skating, but the line to rent skates was over an hour long. Instead, we looked for some snow for KR - keep watching for the slide show to see what happened with the snow!

In a couple of hours, we have to return KR to her mama :-(. That's my pout. We are very fortunate to have been able to steal her away for a few days all to ourselves. That was truly a wonderful Christmas gift! Now, though, I'm going to find some breakfast!!!

Remember When I Said...

...that I felt weird for writing about nothing Asperger's related? Well last night was meltdown extraordinaire. As is usual for us, we had a busy night. It was only two things, OT & Scouts, but they started almost as soon as we walked in the door from workat 5:00, and lasted until about 9:00. In the door, grab a piece of pizza, change out of work pants & shoes (no time to find a new shirt), and head off to OT.

We had a blast at OT, even PC & I got into the act. J the Fabulous OT had SmallBoy working on a crib mattress set on top of some foam rollers. He had to maneuver his way back and forth taking an item out of a bag on one side of him, using his arm muscles and his balance to pull himself, via rope, to a bucket on the other side to deposit the item. It was a lot of work for him, trust me, I tried it. We are fortunate enough to have a wonderful OT who lets us take part in the activities so that we can get a feel for what he's doing in order to replicate or duplicate as close as possible, those actions, activities, exercises at home. As SmallBoy's had OT off and on for the last month, he was ready to roll. His engine was way high, and he needed this session desperately - not to mention that we were going to a scout meeting right after OT. He worked hard, he was focused on the task at hand and he did a great job. We are so proud of him! She helped SmallBoy to bring his engine down to a nice moderated level. He did a lot of balancing for the vestibular, and a lot of upper body work to work on his muscle tone. His focus today was unreal. She had him up in the lycra layers and was having him use clothespins to attach some of the toys to each side of the layers. Every time he fell, she told him he would have to do sit ups or pushups. Well, he was concentrating so hard on the task at hand, that we could see his legs shaking. He was ready. He was calm, he was focused, and his engine had come down just below a regular, moderate level. I expected it to go back up at scouts, so a little below "just right" was just fine with me.

OT was over at 6:15 and Scouts started at 7. This meant that we didn't have to rush from one to the other, since OT and Scouts are, literally, a 2minute ride away. We had brought SmallBoy's scout uniform to OT so that he could just change there before we left, but we still had to stop home and pick up Girl for basketball practice. This was one of the few times that she didn't have a friend also needing a ride, so when we got back to the school, it was only 6:30. Girl had no problem with that, as the boys' basketball team had a game that she could watch until her practice started. We, on the other hand, had a half an hour to kill doing a whole lot of nothing. Instead of just sitting in the car, or wasting gas by driving around, we went inside. Thankfully, the Boy Scouts were there, as the were setting up and practicing the flag ceremony for the meeting. This meeting was a combined meeting/Christmas party with the cub & boy scouts. Everything was going swimmingly. GR even came to watch the skits that each scout den was performing. SmallBoy's den did this cute scene in which each scout had a letter spelling out "Merry Christmas", starting at the "S" and working backward toward the "M", each boy saying what part of Christmas their particular letter represented. SmallBoy's "R" stood for reindeer.

The show was wonderful and, as you can see from the pic, he's not shy about using a microphone...I wonder where he gets that?. After the skits, the boys had the privilege of throwing a pie in the face of the Scout Master (the new one, the one we adore) as a reward for meeting and exceeding the popcorn sale challenge he had set for them. Everyone was in a great mood, the room was loud with happiness and anticipation and excitement. The troops received gifts, with SmallBoy's troop receiving flashlights for camping that wind up - no batteries or electricity needed. This flashlight was the downfall of our evening.

SmallBoy, after receiving his, immediately brought it to me and asked if we could open it for him. After looking at the clock and realizing this meeting only had moments left, I told him no, that I didn't want it to get lost, that the meeting was just about over and that he could have it when we got home. Ok. No problem. He ran off to play. PC was running outside and asked me if I wanted him to take it. I told him not to, because then SmallBoy might notice it missing and meltdown thinking it got lost or "stolen." I should have let him take it to the car.

I walked away for a few moments to take pictures of the newly "pied" Scout Master - he ended up wearing three cream pies, chocolate, I believe. When I walked back, GR said to me, that SmallBoy had come back, seen the flashlight package on the chair (I must have missed the bag) and walked away with it. Damn! I fought with myself, having the non-stop internal arguement as to whether I should let it slide for the next 3 minutes while we finished up the meeting, or if I should make it a point to dole out consequences for the action and risk a meltdown, thus, ruining SmallBoy's night - because no ASD meltdown is a "good" meltdown. I went with option B, and went up to SmallBoy and asked him for the flashlight back. I explained to him that I had previously told him that he could not play with it because I didn't want it getting lost or broken.

"But, Mom, all the other kids...."

"Yes, my love, I know, but the meeting is almost over and I've already told you no. Why did you take it from the bag without asking?"

"Because I wanted it and everyone else has theirs."

This was true, they were all running around like crazy, having fun, playing, SOCIALIZING. I found myself, again, arguing within my head about what the best, most practical solution would be. Again, I chose to lay down the law. I told him that he had to give me the flashlight as a consequence - of course I explained this three or four times, in language easy to understand when his engine is skyrocketting. He got angry and just started crying, baby-crying, not crying like a 10y/o - more of a WAAAAAAAAH, than anything. And he wasn't faking either. He was upset, he was angry. This went on for a good ten minutes until he finally just shut down. It's very rare that he completely shuts down on me. I didn't know what to do. I was at my wit's end, partially because I knew that we never should have gone to the meeting, because we haven't had ANY down time all week and partially because I knew that he was fried and had already been to two scout meetings this week, plus school, plus just overstressed from us being stressed.

"I'm done doing the big pack meetings. This is just too much for him, and it's too much for us. I think we'll just go to the den meetings."

That was my big pronouncement. Now, you know that's not going to happen, because he needs the socialization, he needs the recognition of getting his awards and achievement badges in front of the whole pack, he needs all of it. But I, too, was fried beyond belief. SmallBoy and I had both finally, after many weeks of holding it together - JUST barely - cracked. We were done. I wanted to cry, he was already crying. Instead, I held it together just a little bit longer to show a friend SmallBoy's sensory tunnel and body sock, and to let her son, who is ADHD, try them out. We also gave them a copy of "The Book". I wanted SmallBoy to show T how to use the sock and the tunnel, but he was angry and upset at me, still, and went and laid on the stage to sulk and be mad. Most people just thought he was tired, but when he became unresponsive to their prompts and chatter, I had to step in. It was time to go. We almost had to drag him out, because he wasn't going.

I don't think I've ever experienced that with him. This is something new, for which I was not prepared. Given the circumstances of the last couple of weeks, though, I'm not surprised. I would be more than content to not have to go to multiple places on Christmas, but you know, Christmas just wouldn't be the same without all of the hustle and bustle, now would it? So, we'll suck it up for a few more days and it will all be over. I think I'll sleep through 2007 to make up for all of the stress of the last 2 or 3 weeks though.

Pseudo-Supermum, never fear, I will de-stress!

T Minus a Day and A Half and Counting

....because I'm not setting foot in a shopping mall, strip mall, grocery store, drug store, nothin' after tomorrow night. Now way. No how. Nuh UH! My poor, yet wonderfully caring and selfless husband is free today, so he's out with my list. I have called him so many times now, adding to the list that I think he's finally turned off the cell phone. Really, I think he has. He's probably thinking, "It's the last time I volunteer to go do the shopping!" No, he's wonderful for that.

In addition to getting that off my list, SmallBoy and I got our haircut on Tuesday and decided to commit our great cuts to posterity. Once again, PC demonstrated his compassion and selflessness (LONG word!), and took many many pictures on multiple settings and lightings until SmallBoy and I were satisfied with our own appearances AND the ethereal light of the beautifully decorated tree AND the lighting in the room. Why PC didn't just give up on us, I'll never know - perhaps because he loves us. The kids and I decided that my fresh-from-the-salon do made me look very much like Jane Kaczmarek - or, as we call her, Mrs. Malcom's Mom (from Malcom in the Middle, also married to Bradley Whitford from The West Wing, and both very very AVID supporters of Cure Autism Now).

I still feel just plain bleh, but keep putting that aside for all of this Christmas-ing and regular madness. I think perhaps I might just allow myself to get sick on Jan. 2 when I have to go back to work, cuz I'll be damned if I going to spend MY Christmas break in bed with a fever. Nope.

Tonight we have OT and cub scouts - complete with Christmas festivities and our first time together with Former Scout Master and Son of Former Scout Master (joy oh joy...GR will be there to watch, too!) {insert evil cackle here}. Cookies, juice, screaming happy boys excited about winter break, parents with throbbing heads and empty wallets begging for some peace and quiet (and maybe a glass our their own "juice"). Perhaps I'll do that while I color my hair and then slide down into a hot steamy bath......ZZZZZZzzzzzz

Sorry, nodded of there. Speaking of baths, I've had some great fun taking pictures of Charley cat in the bathtub. She has this thing for licking the water out of the tub, even if the tub, itself, is dry, but the faucet still has a drip or two. We have a beautiful white claw foot tub. Chuck, as we affectionately call her, is a white & black cat. Took the pics in black & white. Pretty cool, huh? Can you see why we call her Charley? It was either that or we named her Adolf - and, well, I didn't think that would be such a good name, now, don'tcha know.

And while I'm on black and white photos, I'll add in this one me and my wittew goowah. It sure feels like I'm trying to write something other than Christmas or Asperger's or the chaos that is our schedule, doesn't it? M'ija and I had fun with this pic. Again, being the perfectionists that we are, we re-took this self-portrait several times. Unfortunately neither of us could agree upon one in which we BOTH looked good, so we settled on this one. I think it's cool, though, so I'm not complaining.

It's almost 3. Think I should do some work - especially since that's where I am? LOL. Have to have all of my year-end stuff wrapped up by tomorrow since I won't be here the week after. Just don't feel like working, though. Maybe I'll go read all of your blogs instead!