I've Been Meaning to Write...

...but life just keeps happening around me and not leaving much time to breathe. I've been meaning to write about the things that have been coming home in SmallBoy's notebook, good & bad. I've been meaning to write about Girl's latest round of injuries (none due to her insane sports schedule, believe it or not). I've been meaning to write about LargeBoy's first "big purchase," and I don't count the iPod, since that was gift money. I've been meaning to write about the new paint job in the house so that we can jack up the equity and hopefully get a good re-finance rate. I've been meaning to write about how North Country is just crashing onto the scene. I've been meaning to write about SmallBoy's sleepover, when his bestest bud, PQ, stayed, and how the whole social thing played out. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK....I've had a lot to write about, but no time. When I manage to find the time, either someone else is on the computer, I'm insanely busy at work, or my laptop is busy crashing for the 10th time in 4hrs (no virus, it just hates me).

Let's start with SmallBoy, though, since he's the important one in this whole posting. I've mentioned before what great success we're having with the notebook that we're using to communicate between school and home. It's been helping all of us - SmallBoy, the teachers, and us, of course, to keep track of SmallBoy's comings and goings, send suggestions back to the teachers, send notes from J the Fabulous OT, etc... I've made smaller, one page, mini-notebooks for the teachers that he sees for the specials - music, art, Spanish, computer, library, gym. It truly is an amazing tool and I can't believe it took so long for me to pick up on it.

Every once in a while, though, I seem to be unprepared when the notebook comes home saying that SmallBoy had a bad day, even less prepared when he's had an awful day, and just dumbfounded when he's had an atrocious day. Why? Don't know. Last week, after having just a terrible week or so prior, due to schedules, Ex being a schmuck, SmallBoy feeling under the weather and just down on himself in general, the notebook came home and I was prepared. All week I had read about the difficulties that he had been having and sending the notebook back the next day with my tips and bits of SmallBoy wisdom. I didn't expect this entry to be any different than the rest, but was hopeful for something good. HA. I wish I could quote it verbatim, but I don't have it in front of me, but the premise was this: the teachers were chatting and thought that perhaps SmallBoy could also have ODD (for those of you not in the land of abbreviations, learning disabilities, and spectrum disorders, who just happen to be popping by for the first time, ODD is short for Oppostional Defiant Disorder). She asked if this is part of Asperger's, if it is something completely separate, etc. I've gotta tell you, I had that same, WTF moment that I had the first time the school suggested that there was something "wrong" with my child.

ASD, yes, maybe even a little ADHD when his engine gets really revved, but ODD???? Knowing now, from experience and learning, what I didn't know back then, I tried to push out the immediate reaction and attempted to look at it from the teacher's perspective, and consider everything that's been going on with SmallBoy. He's been melting down more frequently in class, especially when he has to make corrections or is overloaded on directions, etc...He's been not "showing respect" to the teachers in the school by speaking to them as he would a friend or a brother & sister when he disagrees with them. He's been melting even further if the teacher gets a little frustrated when he tries to leave the room during the middle of an assignment or classroom project because he's melting down. He's being loud and vocal in his objections to things. He's getting up from his seat and moving around more frequently. He's JUST NOT getting it with some of his assignments and getting upset by that.

Ok, I could see some of his behaviors mimicking those of ODD, but these behaviors are not exhibited outside of the school, and if they are, we understand why he's doing what he's doing and act appropriately, in ways, I suppose, they can't (or won't) at school. Don't get me wrong, I'm not speaking against the school or the teachers, I adore them, they're doing a wonderful job, and were it not for the notebook going back and forth, this situation could have gotten MUCH worse. I knew, again from the experience and scads of books that I've read, that ODD was NOT what we were looking at. The teachers happen to be with SmallBoy for some of the things that set him off the most - FRUSTRATION: due to comprehension issues with reading, due to not knowing how to handle his own disappointment, due to not being able to self-manage a meltdown, due to not being able to sit still, due to his need to be perfect to be "accepted," (gee, I'm pretty sure that I know from whence THIS came, Ex's lack of acceptance of him because in his eyes, SmallBoy is less than perfect?).

I wanted to be certain that I wasn't seeing this with the eyes of denial, as I did initially with the "something's wrong, we need you to have SmallBoy evaluated by the school district," conversation, so when we went to OT that night, I talked to J about the teachers' thoughts. She completely disagreed with the idea of ODD, but agreed with me, that yes, indeed, the teachers are with him for most of the things that will "set him off." She offered suggestions to the teachers, (ie: visual directions on the board in addition to oral directions to the class, allowing him to leave the classroom to a predetermined spot in order to self-manage a meltdown with the caveat that he must ask permission first, and a few more which I'll expand on in another post), and to us on helping SmallBoy learn more self-management techniques.

I am very pleased to report that since this "conversation," things have been better for him. Granted, he's still forgetting assignments, still having outbursts, etc, but he's learning to manage them MUCH better. One such instance happened just last week at an all-school mass. It was a LONG service and, in addition to the homily, there was an additional speaker. A 45-minute long mass is difficult on ANY child his age, especially when expected to act in a "proper" manner, but put this on an ASD-er, and then add an extra 15minutes for a speaker and the scene is set for trouble. Well, our SmallBoy, bored off his rocker with this ridiculously long service, let it be known that the speaker was taking WAAAAAAAAAYY too long! Everyone, of course, turned around to look and, instead of freaking because now everyone was staring, he used that moment of embarrassment (or the "oh-shit-moment"), to self-mange and compose himself. I have to applaud him for that! Since then, he's been fantastic! I'm SO proud of him.

To finish off his "lovely" week, SmallBoy had his "bestest bud" sleep over on Friday night. PQ is SmallBoy's rock and helps keep him on an even keel. He's a truly wonderful kid, we adore him! SmallBoy, as excited as he was about this sleepover, was off in SmallBoy Land. Oh yes, the boys definitely played together for quite a while, but when SmallBoy got bored, that was that. He would go off in another room and hole up with his GameBoy. PQ tried, I tried, PC tried...we all tried to get him to participate in fun things with us but all he wanted was his GameBoy. Perhaps this was his release for all of the stress from the week, because normally, he will come out of SmallBoy Land to hang with PQ and his buds, especially if it's on his turf. Not this time. He'd come out if he felt like it, or if they were playing the Game Cube, but other than that, it was a battle.

The next morning started off very well, the boys got up and played and were happy as clams. They discussed going out in the snow, since we had TONS of it outside. They played video games until I told them to stop. Yeah. That's when it got a little hairy, again. I asked them if they'd like to come and help me make breakfast, to which they both boisterously agreed. They wanted scrambled eggs, and we were going to make biscuits - something quick and easy, and something fun and tactile. I made the eggs and had the boys do the biscuits. Well, this time, SmallBoy was so upset with me for making him come and participate and turn off his game, that even the sensory that he loves so much of handmixing the biscuit dough and squishing it and getting it all over his fingers, was just way too much, but we got it done. It was time to roll and cut. I figured this would be fun, and it was. Each boy took turns rolling out the dough and using the glass to cut the biscuits. We got the biscuits out of the oven just in time for PQ's mom to arrive. We sent them on their way with half a dozen steaming biscuits fresh from the oven and all was well. SmallBoy, after PQ left, was totally bummed that his bestest bud was gone. Though I see this on a regular basis, I'm constantly amazed by the fact that, though SmallBoy wanted more to play with his GameBoy or Game Cube independently, and only interacted with PQ minimally, that he missed him so much when he was gone. What are friends for, though, right?

Ahhhh, m'ijita, my wittew goowah, Girl, in all her glory has managed to injure herself not once, but twice in different parts of her body over 4-day span. This used to be a regular occurence when she was little; we had a pool going on the block to see how many times in one summer she could skin her knees - no, seriously, we did. This time was beyond knee-skinning, however. This time, she was going for something big like "contusions" (she's rather fond of those). That's my Girl!

It all started on Friday at Mission Day, the school fair that benefits the Ursuline Sisters Mission. This is a big deal at school, and, being in 8th grade, it was her last one. She went all out. She won the "sacred" goldfish (long standing tradition - ring toss game, I think), and won a white cake, with chocolate frosting, topped in snow caps candies!! YUMMO!!!!! As the storm on Tuesday had dropped quite a heavy blanket of white fluffy snow upon us (not to mentione dropped the temperature quite a bit), the ground, as you can imagine, was quite frozen. Girl, SmallBoy, & Snood were getting a ride from Snood's father and, on her way to the car, she slipped. In the process of falling, she dropped the cake (which was saved by Snood's father, who would never let anything bad happen to chocolate), and tried to stop herself with one arm while attempting not to drop the goldfish bags. Let's just say the goldfish was in one piece.

(Update: I am now starting day 2 of this post) I was hopeful, when she called me at work and told me she fell, that she had just banged up her funny bone, because we all know what a sting that leaves. Those hopes were dashed when she delivered the next line, "Well, I can't really move it, and my arm is hanging funny." Thankfully I was at the end of my work day, so I bypassed my workout and went straight home to don my Dr. Mom hat. Her arm was definitely hanging funny, but I'm fairly certain that was due to the gigantic swelling of her elbow. She was able to bend it up and touch her shoulder, with pain, mind you, but she could do it. That pretty much quelled any worries I had about it being broken, but you never can tell. I thought about taking her for "just-in-case" x-rays, but they would have been fruitless with all of the swelling. Instead I plied her full of Ibuprofen and the heat/ice treatment and just made her rest. I kept her home from softball practices all weekend, and, thankfully, there wasn't much in the way of basketball. Within a couple of days, the swelling, and the pain, had gone...

...just in time for the 8th grade ski trip. Yep. I said "ski trip." This was a MUCH anticipated trip that had already been cancelled once due to the freezing temps with an even more freezing -30degree windchill. Fortunately, the two week span allowed the sun to awaken from its winter slumber and force its way out from behind the dreary gray winter clouds to warm the earth, or at least out little part of it, to a beautiful 35degrees. The ground was covered with many more inches of snow due to a massive snow storm earlier in the week (see pic at right), and the kids were more than willing to get up at the crack of dawn on their day off to hop on the bus at 6:30 in the morning. They skied all day, somewhere up in Wisconsin or Michigan and finally called around 8:30 that night to say they were almost home, exhausted, but exhilirated. When I spoke with Girl, I asked how the trip was. Her answer, "Well, mom, the first two hours were great, but I hurt my ankle and spent the rest of the day in the lodge. I'll tell you about it when I get home."

My immediate thought went to how lucky she was that she hadn't broken her elbow a few days back, and that I hoped we weren't tempting fate. After hobbling through the door with PC & ET, we did the ibuprofen heat/ice thing (again) while we listened to her tale of woe. The story began with her all so brief lesson on the bunny hill. She quickly ascended through the ranks and graduated from her 20minute course with flying colors. Next she moved on to the beginner hill, which she conquered with ease. Feeling bold, as she is want to do, she took to the intermediate hill. She was cruising along, and was almost to the bottom when IT happened: her ski fell off. Thankfully, she was pretty much at the bottom and was preparing to stop anyway. Unfortunately, the lack of ski left her a little out of control and as she tried to stop, she tumbled into a woman who had already finished the hill. If someone had a video camera, this would have made perfect fodder for AFV, as, after Girl fell into the woman, a classmate came down the hill and fell onto them. I'm not going to get into how rude and uncaring the ski patrol guy was because that's another story, but we'll just leave it at the fact that he was a very incondsiderate jerk who told my daughter that he could have her thrown in jail for being out of control on the ski hill...even the woman she fell onto was defending her.

ANYWAY, of course she did something in the fall to injure herself. We're still not quite certain what it is, but she wasn't swollen this time. Perhaps x-rays would have been helpful, but, nah. We think that she pulled a ligament or something. Thankfully, some pain spray and a couple of really hot baths helped to work this out and she was back at basketball practice the next night. Wearing the Smart Mom hat this time, I intercepted one of the coaches who, thankfully, had already heard the story, and let him know that she was insisting on practicing, but not to let her run. She's fine now, just home with the flu, or something normal like that, now.

LargeBoy - my child is growing up on me. Many moons ago, he played the cello and has since abandoned it for the bass guitar. He is quite accomplished in his songwriting (and novel writing), and has also taken up the acoustic guitar. Taking after his mother and step-dad, he and his buddies are working together to write music (I'm beaming with pride). LargeBoy's had a few issues with his bass, as it's old - I bought it used for him in 2002. It finally cashed out on him last weekend while he was at his friend's house writing. He called me and said, "Mom, is it ok if I buy a new bass? I've got the money, and I've already called the store and they've got one for $500, one for just over $200, and a couple for $99. I'm not even thinking about the $99 ones and I can't afford the $500 one. So, since I have the money saved up, can I go buy it?" We had a conversation about what he was saving the money for, originally - and is still saving for, an Outward Bound trip, and came to the conclusion that, well, it's his money, and he can spend it as he chooses; that he won't be going on the Outward Bound trip for at least another year or two, and that gives him time to save up again. For the most part, just the fact that he called me to ask my permission to make a major purchase, even though it was with his own money, showed me how incredibly responsible he's getting. He'll have no problem saving up the money for his trip! I'm so proud.

I was hoping to have the pictures of the new paint job that we did up already, but they're still in my camera and my laptop is just being stupid, so I haven't loaded them, but I promise I'll try real soon. The colors are fab!

Finally, the band is just bursting out into the world right now. This is keeping us oh so busy, and we're loving it. We've been writing, recording, promoting and haven't had a whole heck of a lot of time to do much else. We put together a demo of a few of the songs we've written, and a couple of cover tunes, and made a fabulous, professional looking insert for it....just tickles me pink. This is so much more than we ever got done with the previous band - and North Country's only been together since January, really. We've received airtime on a few internet stations, including the Susie Doo & Mandy Too Show on Thursdays 1:00 on HomeGrown Radio. Next week we'll be doing a live interview on the airwaves between 5 & 7 CST. See the widget in my sidebar for more info. I'm blanking on the station's .com, but I'll have that and post it ASAP. AND, if you haven't already, click on the little box off to the side here, to listen to our originals. We're extremely pleased with them. The most recent, Pick the Tune, was written by our bass player on Feb. 12, recorded on Feb. 13, and given to his wife as a Valentine's gift the next day. Click here to find out when and where you can hear and see North Country. I can't begin to tell you how incredibly exciting this is!

In the meantime, since I've "talked" your ear off, I'll post this and go back to doing my day job (since I'm sitting at my desk in my office on company time).

Adolescence & the Spectrum

Made you laugh, didn't it? Sometimes I need something absolutely hysterical like that to keep my head from drooping on the days when I feel totally overloaded. There are still many of those days, but as far as Asperger's is concerned, those days are coming fewer and farther between. While reading Kyra's post on Talking About Autism, I completely related to her feeling that somedays, she just doesn't feel like writing, because she doesn't feel there's anything to write about. I am, however, closer to a new aspect of Asperger's than she, and was inspired, by her post, to write about that - the OTHER "A" word - Adolescence.

SmallBoy is 10. Mentally ready for adolescence or not, it will be happening soon. Fortunately, I have the experience of having 2 children, one boy, one girl, go through this already, so I will be prepared and be able to read the physical signs - the hormone fluctuations, the changing voice, the skin issues, the moodiness - noooooo wait! That's something we see all the time. Moodiness, at least as far as we've experienced with SmallBoy, can be akin to teenage puberty moodiness. This leads me to wonder what other things we may miss or "gloss over" because we are so used to them as part of ASD and not take notice to them as what they are - warning signs of a teenager!

I'm tempted to reach out to those of you who have gone through adolescence with an ASD child and ask for advice or a list of "what to watch for," but, as well all know one child on the spectrum will experience and have different reactions to things than another. How then, is a parent to find their way through puberty with a child on the spectrum? The same way you got through early childhood - you feel your way, you lean on other parents, you ask for help, you vent, you celebrate, you question, you problem solve, until you've reached the point where Kyra and I are now...on an even enough keel to feel like you're above water more often than not. And guess what? When you get to that point, it will more than likely be time for your child to be hitting adulthood and all of it's issues.

For now, though, I'm not going to look too far ahead. I'm going to look at the strides we've made in the last couple of years and rejoice. I'm going to start looking ahead to the puberty years so that I can, at least for my own sanity, have SOME kind of an idea of what I'm about to enter. At the same time, I'm going to remind myself of some of the lessons that I have learned: acceptance, love, how to avoid a mommy-meltdown, and doing things for myself, for PC and me, and for Girl & LargeBoy. I am, though, open to suggestions, advice, anecdotes, horror stories of adolescent ASD....no time better than the present!

Stranger Things Have Happened

- Dentist
- Ex
- Workout
- Hair Tip
- Birthday list
See, I've got so much I want to talk about today that I had to post myself a mini-outline to keep myself on track. I wonder if it will work. Can't wait to re-read when I get to the end and see - it's kind of like playing telephone. Ok - here goes:

Dentist: If you read yesterday's rant about Ex, your up to speed on this whole scheduling crap. If not, here's the scoop: Got a call at about 9:15 Sunday night from Ex telling me that "he forgot" that he had scheduled a dentist appt for the kids for Monday at 4, throwing everything up in the air, schedules, prepping SmallBoy - you know the IMPORTANT things.

SmallBoy, of course, found this info out after he had already gone to bed, had trouble sleeping, stressed about it all day at school, having stomach aches and "itchies". MoronMan - yep.

Anyway, I got home and then the kids arrived sporting nice clean bright teeth and brand new toothbrushes. SmallBoy was THRILLED - NO CAVITIES. That, in and of itself is amazing since toothbrushing is a battle, let alone PROPER toothbrushing. Instead of doing the tray flouride or the rinse & spit flouride that makes all three of my kids either gag or hurl, he did a new paint-on flouride. That seemed to over MUCH better. SmallBoy's engine was at a pretty regular level and he was in a fabulous mood. By bedtime, he was ready to roll, climbed in, told me that he was glad that the dentist day was over, and went to sleep.

I wonder if all of the oral sensory stimulation he got at the dentist was actually a good thing. I was worried that it would be too much, but when I sat back and thought about it last night, it seemed that just the opposite had occured. All of that sensory input in an area where he least gets it and most needs it....amazing. Perhaps we should make a daily appt with the dentist - ok, weekly, it's just down the street from J the Fabulous OT. Ok, maybe I'm going a little overboard, but WOW.

Ex: The wonderful report from the dentist was just the first surprise of the evening. After the children all came bounding in with their smiles and toothbrushes, Girl told me that Ex needed directions to Meem's house so that he could drop off the kids on Thursday. (STOP. PAUSE. PICK JAW UP FROM FLOOR.) I really don't know what made him decide to do this, especially after his attitude on Sunday night, but I'm not going to question it. The only reason that makes sense to me is that he's looking at this as an "I won" moment. Hence, he still gets the kids, even on my birthday, because they'd rather be with HIS family. Yeah, see how TOTALLY mature that is? Either way, I will also be giving thanks on Thursday that SmallBoy is having a blast with his cousins and not bored sitting at home until we get ready to go to Meem's.

What his pea brain doesn't realize is that I'm not doing this for him. I'm doing it for the kids. Having THEM be happy is a wonderful birthday present!

Workout: I have recently started to workout again on a regular basis...ok, so not regular yet, as I've only been back for 3 workouts, but you know what I mean. I worked out Thursday and Friday, skipped Saturday morning, but, if you think about it, got a very INTENSE cardio workout at the gig Saturday night, worked out again yesterday and am going again tonight. I'm excited, got my iPod loaded with some good tunes and I'm ready to get my tone back, dammit!

Funny story, though. The way that Curves is set up is a circular, well, circuit. It alternates, machine, cardio station, machine, cardio station, etc...you spend 30seconds in each station, go around the circuit twice and in 30minutes you've completed a rigorous workout. Last night, I was all pumped up, got there a bit early, before the after work crowd, and jumped into the circle. Cardio first, then leg presses, then cardi-oooooooohhhhhhHHHHHH.

One of the things that I like to do on the cardio station, which is just a raised cushioned board, is the Flashdance thing - you know, how she worked out in her bare feet up and down up and down on her feet faster and faster, and "Maniac" was playing. Come on, you know. So, anyway, I do that and it really REALLy works my butt and my calves and thighs. Yesterday, I stared to get moving with this and my ass just SCREAMED at me, "OH YOU BITCH!" It hurt. LORD did it hurt. So, I turned up my iPod and did it harder. The words that were running through my head started with the letters "m-f", "S", "G-D!" Of COURSE I kept going. I knew that I was working the right muscles. No Pain, no gain. By the end of the workout all was well, and my buttocks had forgiven me. Hopefully they will foregive me enough to allow some room in the back of my gig jeans.

Hair Tip: I've got nothing on Marti's tips, but I'd like to add one. Not often do I let you guys see pics of me with my hair in it's natural state - curly. I DESPISE my curls. I love OTHER PEOPLE's curls, but I hate mine. Why? Because they have a mind of their own and refuse to work with me, whatsoever. They are evil and they must be stopped. And so, I fry them and straighten them out, which then leads to my hair punishing me by drying and breaking. Bad deal, huh?

Our bass player in our band is dating this woman with THE MOST beautiful curls I've seen (next to Marti's of course). At our gig Saturday, she looked fabulous, and so, I was compelled to ask her her secret. It's definitely not one I'd ever heard before. After washing, rinsing, conditioning, and repeating, oh yes, and getting out, turn your head upside down and dry, not with your terry cloth towels, but with - are you ready for this? - PAPER towels. You will use a lot of them, but it's SO worth the cost of buying extra rolls for the bathroom.

The reasoning behind paper vs terry cloth is that the terry cloth pulls out the curls. Obviously I never knew this or I would have started pulling out my curls as soon as I could hold the towel. The paper towels, remove the wetness, not the curl. Starting underneath - well, that makes perfect sense, because what part of your hair gets the wettest and is least exposed to the air to dry. Yep, underneath.

I tried this little tip last night. It worked. I let my hair airdry, as anyone with curls will tell you to do (unless you don't have time, in which case you use a diffuser and a cool-ish setting on the blowdryer). And get this....I had GOOD curls. When I woke up this morning, I STILL had good curls. I only had to do some minor wet & scrunch to revive the areas that I had slept on and was ready to go. The front of my hair is another story completely. My hair is so short there when it curls up, that I can't do anything with it, yet it's long enough that if I don't do SOMETHING, it does the Napoleon Dynamite thing and just goes off to one side in a poof. As a result, I had to straighten just the base of the front section so that I could retrieve enough length to pull it back off of my forehead (and I'm way too old to be doing that with my hair). Regardless, it was a complete success. I recommend this to anyone curly hair - and a bit of non - sticky, non - heavy curl juice for some extra bounce.

Birthday List: Pumpkin Pie...no, wait, it's Thanksgiving, I'll get that anyway. A new house or someone to fix my house (all of it, not just a little bit). I'd also like someone just to come in and do all the stuff I don't have time to do - like cleaning up the dog hair, dusting, giving the bathrooms a heavy duty cleaning every once in a while - you know, all the stuff I don't have time to do because I'm so busy trying to do the necessary things that I don't have time to do. Which leads to the next thing I'd like for my birthday - MORE TIME. The Winning Lotto Ticket. My sisters. Someone to sing the 7:30 and the 9:00am masses on Sunday. TIME. ALONE. OUT. OR IN. WITH MY HUSBAND. My children. A noticeable absence of "The Smoking Lecture" at Thanksgiving (which is intended to make those who smoke quit and those who don't smoke fear the evils associated with smoking, except that it's a lecture we all have memorized). A new camera to replace the one that's still lost somewhere in Michigan. TIME WITH MY KIDS. A weekend free of having to be in 20 places all at the same time (and no, Thursday and Friday don't count). A nap. To sit on the couch Thursday morning with PC and watch the parade and the dog show - oh, no, wait - we WILL be doing that, but it's on my list every year. Yeaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Those are the things at the top of my birthday list.

THIS JUST IN: Girl has been awarded the Optimists award by the Village of High Priced Everything in Which We Reside. She will receive this award, officially, next week at a luncheon at one of our historic "clubs". She was nominated by her peers, then, as a finalist had to write an essay (on what, I don't know; I just found out about the contest this afternoon when she called to tell me she had won!). Hers was chosen from the three finalists from her school. I find that pretty fabulous; this wittew goowah who has watched me go through hell and back, to the bottom of the poor box and back, and still is ever the optimist!

So, did I do it? Did I stay on track?

Duckwings - and Grown-Up Time (what is THAT?)

Duckwings: What SmallBoy used to call dumplings. My favoritest dish in the entire world is my grandmother's pot roast and dumplings. I am, personally, more a fan of the dumplings than the pot roast, but it just doesn't work without both components. For my birthday dinner every year, I always ask for Ps & Ds (as they're affectionately called now). This year, as my birthday will fall on Turkey Day, I had to move my birthday dinner to a different date. As fate would have it, PC bought THE most ENORMOUS pot roast I've ever seen - a 6pounder (of course, my gram probably cooked bigger cuz she had a house full of hungry girls to feed). He had a grand scheme to make his own pot roast recipe and to try something new. I begged, pleaded, and made sad puppy eyes at him to make dumplings. Who could resist? Not PC. So we reached a happy compromise that he could make his pot roast his way, as long as I got to have dumplings.

The roast was seasoned and browned well before PC loaded it into the giant roasting pan accomanied by big ol chunks of carrots, onion slices and mushrooms for extra seasoning. He added some beef bullion to the water, and some carribean jerk seasons for a little extra kick. He's desperately trying to change our very bland palettes to appreciate some "flavor." The really funny thing about this is that LargeBoy, Girl, & I all notice the extra seasonings when he adds them to things, and the last couple times, we've just kept our mouths closed and chugged our milk to put out the flames so that we wouldn't draw SmallBoy's attention to the "heat" - cuz he dislikes it tremendously. The last two times we've eaten something with a bit of zest (my BIL made some mashed potatoes with some of that green habanero sauce in them), SmallBoy was completely oblivious. Very very interesting. And so it went with our pot roast. Now the duckwings - dumplings - are cooked in the juice from the meat, so obviously, they picked up quite a bit of the jerk seasoning. Not only did SmallBoy eat a ton of it for the meal, but he also ate quite a large portion of the leftovers yesterday. I was shocked. Perhaps it had something to do with him helping to prepare the dumplings:



He helped make the dough for the dumplings, too. It's just eggs, flour and salt, but you have to keep adding flour until you absolutely cannot stir any longer, or, until someone with fresh arms who hasn't been stirring can't stir it any more. Nice and thick. It was good OT for SmallBoy to be stirring the mixture. He loves it, "More FLOUR!"



The actual cooking of the "duckwings," however, is the most fun. Dip the fork in the juice, dip the fork in the batter and get a HUGE mess of it (if you're like me and like giganto sized dumplings), and....



...put the fork full of the flour-y goodness into the juice, gently shake the fork to encourage the batter into the juice, and cook covered and enjoy the aroma until they float. Lord, I'm salivating. Good thing I'm going back to working out tonight (even my fat pants are too tight, and they're 2 sizes too big for me normally).

I think I said something in the title about grown-up time. What the hell is THAT? I don't recall. With the zanieness of the last week or two, we're not getting any downtime, really, until the kids are in bed. We used to complain because we got nothing done around the house because we felt guilty about sitting and enjoying a movie before bed. Now, we don't even have time to do that. Our "free time" has consisted of sitting on the computer, helping each other build our myspaces (band's, mine, his) to help further promote autism awareness and network with more parents who need support and to reach those who don't realize what a VAST support group the internet is, (oh yeah, and the band), oh yeah, and loading my iPod (I'll post on what's going in it tomorrow). We're getting to bed at about 12:30 or 1, and that nasty alarm gets earlier everyday. Tonight won't be any different except that, perhaps, we'll go right to bed instead.

Last night I did as I said, and stayed home while PC went to Girl's game. SmallBoy and I worked with his weighted ball doing some balance and spatial awareness and tone building exercises. The deal was for every 10 he did, I had to do 20. Yeah, tummy's a bit sore today. When we had finished, I had him make his lunch and brush his teeth right away with the promise that he, LargeBoy, and I would sit down and play dominoes IF he agreed that AT 9:30 we would stop whether or not someone had won. He did! It was wonderful!

Tonight - are you ready for this? I'm off work at 4:30 and going to work out. I'll get home around 5:30 and have just enough time to change and "deodorize" before running out the door to get to our 6:15 OT appointment. When we leave there between 7:15 & 7:20, we'll already be late for Cub Scouts which starts at 7. SmallBoy's Den is doing the flag ceremony tonight. He will miss it. He was upset, but came to realize that OT is SO much more important and that it's OK if he misses the flag ceremony, he won't miss the whole meeting. From there, whenever that ends between 8 and 8:30, we'll haul booty down the block (or perhaps cut through the school building) to the gym where, HOPEFULLY, Girl's game will already be underway - not like the other night when they started 40minutes late. Out of the gym by 9:30/:45 (optimistically), and home. Fortunately, Girl and SmallBoy don't have school tomorrow, so bedtime isn't necessarily a priority tonight, just some key SmallBoy time. He's excited, more than anything, because he'll get to go to his sister's game. IF I remember, I'll bring the camera and take some pics tonight!

Well, that was a nice long post. Can that count for two so I can skip one, oh, say, on Thanksgiving? LOL!

My Day Off

Today, in honor of Veteran's Day, my company - the one that is open on July 4th, but closed for every other holiday - was closed and I got to enjoy a day off with my family. Needless to say, my internal clock is all messed up thinking it's Saturday night. This morning, I woke up at 7:00, took a walk across the upstairs hall to the bathroom, went in to kiss SmallBoy and he, through his sleep, said to me, "Mom...there's no school or work today. Go back to bed," which I promptly did. And I stayed there until after 10....didn't fall back to sleep, but stayed in bed. Like this cute little pic from last weekend of SmallBoy & Princess?



PC & ET got moving and took LargeBoy out driving this morning before the weather turned yucky. LargeBoy got the experience of going from 60mph to 20mph in a few block span. He realized what a pain in the ass that is. As a reward, they took him to Nick's Burger's in Lemont for the best damn 1lb burgers on the planet (yes, 1 POUND). He ate ALL of his and was eyeballing what they were bringing home for me. No, I didn't go. I thought that having "guy time" was probably a much calmer driving environment for the LargeBoy, not too mention that, well, it was "guy time."

Snood had stayed over last night after she and Girl had worked at Parent Teacher Conferences (oh yes, I'll be posting on that too). This morning, Girl's birthday/confirmation money was burning a hole in her pocket, so she & Snood went shopping. That left SmallBoy and me. COOOOOOOOOOOOL! His birthday wishlist to the family contained basic stuff from the fitness aisle at Target or Wal-Mart that he could use for "home OT." He got some stuff, but got cash and gift cards from most everyone else. I told him that this money was not for video games, but to be used to buy him OT things. SmallBoy and I bundled up and headed to Target.

I knew, walking in, that this excursion could be a good experience or a nightmare, and I think that by taking that with me and being prepared for anything, it helped to keep me on my toes, yet calm and ready for whatever might happen. As any parent of ANY child can tell you, taking them to the store to shop for something other than toys can just be...Oh..GOd...well, you know. Add into this equation a child on the spectrum. Heh heh heh...yeah, we know what we're looking at before we even leave the house. So, yes, I was prepared for anything. Our luck started early when we managed to get "rockstar parking" - at Target - on a HOLIDAY! Would this streak continue?

I knew that our list included a weighted ball, so we opted for a cart that I let SmallBoy drive (I wish I'd have thought to have brought my camera). We also had new gym shoes on our list, so he decided we should go there first to make sure that we didn't spend all of our gift money before getting shoes. I taught him about stopping at the end of the aisles, just like crossing the street, before proceeding through the store. He did great! We found shoes. No arguments, no meltdowns. So far, so good. On we went to the fitness aisle, with SmallBoy at the "wheel."

We loaded up our cart with an 8lb weighted ball (with handles - good for Mommy to use, too), a Pilates ball like we use at OT, something else that I'm totally flaking on, and then I let him pick out something for himself for holding it together. We looked at a body length SpongeBob pillow that would be great for squishes, a couple of bean bag chairs, and a bed tent. After MUCH consideration and hemming and hawing, he opted for the bed tent...not exactly sensory oriented, but something that helps him feel like he has his own space into which he can retreat. And THEN, because he was SO spectacular and pulled himself out of a couple of meltdowns during the hemming & hawing, I let him get a game. He chose dominoes.

When we got home, LargeBoy & the big guys were still out driving and girl was still out shopping with Snood. It was still just Mom & SmallBoy. I thought briefly about hopping on the computer before the rest of the family came home and hogged it, but when I thought about the fact that I was going to post about my day off, I realized that it was only 1:00 and there wasn't quite a lot to talk about yet- except SmallBoy's incredible composure at Target. Instead, he and I went upstairs and assembled his bed tent (ooooh, ANOTHER post idea!). Now that it's done, it's totally cool. We inflated the pilates ball and attempted to work in RDI and OT into this one activity, although, I suppose the structure of our morning together was pretty RDI based. For the ball, we took turns with the foot pump. I decided that it was worth it to take a REALLY long time to inflate this ball and keep his focus on the activity without him getting bored. Yes, I did say we took turns. He did 20pumps on each foot, I did 20pumps on each foot. Yes, it took a REALLY long time, but we got it done and "stayed with me" the entire time. He's sitting on it now watching tv.

It was a couple hours later, though, that the mask finally fell off and the Not-So-SmallBoy finally crumbled. He was, initially, struggling with the "time flies when you're having fun" concept which led to a much deeper conversation. The sadness and dissatisfaction with himself surfaced. The question of, "why do I have to be like this," came up. I held back my tears, as I have grown acustomed to doing, and gave him some answer about how God made each of us different from every one else for a reason. I told him that he was made who he was and I was made who I am because that's what God wanted. Of course, this required my going into detail. I told him that he was given the gift of asperger's and I was given the gift of being his mother so that we could learn about it and help not only him, but OTHER families. I told him how many people have already learned SO much more just by the two of us blogging, by his book, about how now his book has gone to international and is enroute to Scotland (thanks again Marti & Child!) This helped, but it wasn't convincing him of anything. This really was breaking my heart. We have these conversations every once in a while, but not often enough that I worry about how the asperger's might be bringing on depression. Of course, that's why we have a psychologist, to help us with these things. Eventually, though, I talked to him about how he makes ME feel...I told him he makes me a better person, a stronger person, a smarter person, a more caring and compassionate person, and so on. I think that helped. The conversation ended after an hour with him teaching me how to do a Pokemon card battle.

After that hour, I was in dire need of a calming beverage and a hot bath. PC & ET were getting dinner started, so I started the hot water in the deep clawfoot tub, came down and poured myself a very generous glass of white wine, went back up and sank, Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman style, right down into my tub (although I had no bubbles). I washed my hair and conditioned, according to Marti's beauty tips, shaved blindly (I didn't have my eyes in, and wearing glasses in a hot tub is asking for trouble). By the time I had made it back downstairs, I had calmed down, simmered down, and brought my engine WAY down, and it was eat time. They all had chicken, mashed potatoes speckled with a mean-ass habanero sauce, and green beans cooked in onions. We all noticed the heat in the potatoes upon our first bites, yet no one said anything, lest we plant that in SmallBoy's mind. HE never noticed. It wasn't until about a paragraph ago that we asked ET what he had put in the potatoes.

SmallBoy's engine is down now, and he's waiting for his turn to enter the dominoes match. I'm writing, accompanied by the requisite glass of wine, and we're taking turns grossing out the children by mentioning that we "did the deed" this morning. It's really funny how much it makes them crazy. I mean, yes, think about YOUR parents doing it. Makes you cringe and let out a big EEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWW, doesn't it? I used to try to convince myself that I was adopted so that I'd never have to imagine MY parents having sex...I mean, GROSS...EEEUUUWWW! Girl is doing the old Eddie Murphy "La La LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I'm not hearing you," trick. Needless to say, this is the running joke of the evening. SNat is coming over in a bit and we're settling in to our Saturday night - no, correction FRIDAY NIGHT!!!!!!

Somebody comment and remind me to post tomorrow. I might get too relaxed!

A Little Too Close for Comfort

As I'm sitting and relaxing with my family, after a long few days of cleaning and cooking for the pentultimate family event, it just dawned on me that it was 10:55pm and that I hadn't posted today. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! It was a LONG day, filled with church, family, food, and squirrels...Lord had I the time to tell you everything, but I don't, so I'll just give you snippets.

The long day really started over the when we embarked on the project of getting the house "ready" for the party on Friday. I've felt like shit for about 4 or 5 days, so I haven't been assisting much in the preparatinon stage of the event...granted, I planned, invited, made lists, assigned foods, etc..., but the actual physical cleaning and getting ready, I've sat on my ass. I still can't reach the top of my inhale. I'm still convinced that its part cold and part anxiety over my finances.

Today, though, we had the big giganto party. The Expando-Family was invited starting at 2pm. This party was not just for my children, but any one on my side of the family with a birthday in the last quarter of the year...and in my family, every quarter is FULL of birthdays! But wait...there's more! PC, ET, & I stayed up very late last night. We were ripping up carpet, cleaning, and preparing food. Just as we were getting ready to present our boarding passes for our seats on the slumber flight, we were all rudely awakened from our bliss by a Princess displaying the international sign for choking. Thank God for her fast acting and quick thinking, and amazingly calm father. He realized that she was choking (on a large Lemon Head) and gave her the Heimlich maneuver as soon as he figured out what was going on. Needless to say, we were all on a bit of an adrenaline high after that. There was no way we could go to bed at that point, especially after being scared out of our wits! Thankfully, our sweet little girl was ok and I made it a point to offer up thanks at church this morning that I don't normally offer up.

Speaking of church, it was SmallBoy's first time singing with the youth choir. I can't begin to explain to you the pride, but all of you, I'm certain, know what I'm talking about. But to be watching your ASD child, completely apart from you, in an environment where he is forced to hold it together, where he MUST follow the music and the director and the format for the mass...it was truly incredible. I had to fight to keep the tears from rolling down my face. Yes, I was extremely proud, just like any other parent there, but unlike any of the other parents, I had an additional element of "WOW", as well as pride. He did SO great!

Came home, had lots of family over, lots of food, we're all ready to explode, had a wonderful time. Girl & SmallBoy are in bed, LargeBoy is in the shower, PC & ET are on the couch "watching" TV and I'm here....

Oh..........Yes, you want to know about the squirrel! Well...now THIS is a funny one. In the middle of the party, the phone rang and it was my FIL, he hadn't been able to attend the party, so we just thought he was calling to check in. Turns out, he was calling to tell us that there was a squirrel loose in the house, running around, knocking over precious glasses, lamps, etc....HOLY ACORNS, BATMAN! PC, ET, and I thought that perhaps, if FIL really wanted the squirrel to give up that he should corner it and give it a lecture of his choosing. Then again, we also created, in our imaginations, the picture of my FIL giving up the chase and being reclined on the sofa watching the game while Mr. Squirrel sat on HIS big comfy leather chair. Teee Heee....

Well kids, I've got a few more good posts up my sleeves for this week, but the alarm will be going off entirely too soon in the morning. I'd best get my boys situated and to bed. Nighty Night!

Fake it Til You Make it

I had this elaborate plan for today's posting all about how I'm struggling with this whole idea of moving: if it's even a financially viable option (since I owe SO many people SO much money), if it's the best thing for the kids, how much grief we may or may not get from Ex, and if we get grief, will it take so long to resolve that we lose any house we make an offer on, will we be able to sell our house, will we be able to sell our house for enough money to pay off some of the debts we have AND make a downpayment on a house, can we..., will there be..., how will...

Yes, it was a lovely post. I'll probably post it tomorrow, maybe today, doubtful, but maybe. Why, on day 3 of NaBloPoMo am I wussing on a short post like this instead of such a deep, thought provoking, multiple comment provoking post? Cuz I don't feel good. In the words that I emailed to my mother this mornin, "I'n sick." Yes, that says "I'n" cuz that's how I said it when I was a wittew goowah. My head hurts, my tummy hurts, my eyes burn, I feel like a got hit, not by a mack truck, but by a caravan of mack trucks. I haven't been sick in a while, and I have a feeling that this, too, shall pass. But I just feel like crap, and I don't want to waste a really good post on a crappy feeling day - it will NOT be well written at all, and will probably just end up a stream of ramblings.

Oh, but I must add, PM, if you didn't see the Halloween post 2 below this one, LargeBoy had a WONDERFUL time and thanks you profusely for supplying him with bagel dogs. He loves them and I just haven't bought them in forever. Thanks for your insights, too. They will be a real live point when I mange to get the post written that I would have written today had I not felt like total and complete shit.

Thank you all for reading today. Drop by again later, perhaps I'll feel re-energized and post that post after all. Perhaps not, so drop by tomorrow too.

Stay-at -Home-Mom For a Day

It's been a LONG time since I've been a stay-at-home mom. I much preferred it to the working world. Some people prefer it the other way around. Me, no. I was born to be a stay-at-home mom. Since I divorced Ex, though, the only way I have the opportunity to stay home during the week is if my office is closed on a holiday (though not 7/4) or if one of the kids is sick - not if I'm sick, you know the mom rule of sick hours, we use them all for our kids but when we're sick, we go to work and get everyone else sick cuz we've used up all of our hours for our kids.

Long story short, I left work in the early afternoon because SmallBoy was sick. PC didn't work til later in the afternoon, so he picked him up at school when the call came in,

"Mrs. MommyGuilt, we have your SmallBoy here in the office and he's wheezing, coughing, and has some major congestion."

I wanted to drop everything and come home from work right then and there, but I knew that PC could handle it until he had to leave for work - he's such a good daddy. So at 1:00 I came home and we traded. We hung out on the couch and watched Star Wars, then decided we both really wanted to sleep since we had been up a lot the night before with the cough. It was decided that my bed was the best place to partake of our snooze. We popped in a disc of West Wing, I slimed him up with menthol rub, snuggled in, and he was soon asleep for a a short nap.

SmallBoy felt a little better after his snooze, but it was a deceitful kind of better, as we all know the witching hour for fevers and yuckiness to return is between 4:30 and 6pm. He slowed down, but ate his dinner. I thought that perhaps we were going to work our way out of this - the wheezing had stopped, the coughing had slowed significantly, especially since we finally found the inhaler, and there was no temperature in sight. I let him hang out and play on the computer for a while, since he'd been very good with staying away from it during the day. He made his lunch and was in bed 10minutes before bedtime. Cool! Success! We're all going to work/school again!

...at least that's what I thought until about 20minutes after I crawled into bed. I had gotten the call from PC that he was off of work and on his way home. I was so tired from the night before that I just couldn't wait up for him. I did my bedtime routine, put in another disc of West Wing and hunkered in for the night, sharing the bed only with the Obnoxiously Cute Furballs (OCFs). Within minutes my eyes were closed, and somewhere in the state of consciousness between deep sleep and awake, I could hear the voices of Jed Bartlett (Martin Sheen) & Josh Lyman (Bradley Whitford - HUGE Cure Autism Now supporter, btw). My contentedness was harshly interrupted by a sound that I knew did not belong in my little sleepyland - the hacking and wheezing of one Not-So-SmallBoy. Inhaler, menthol, back rub, nose blowing, back to sleep and me back to bed. Twenty minutes later, as I approached the entrance way to my West Wing sleepyland, the sound echoed in my ears once again. This routine continued for 2hours at 20minute intervals...take care of cough, snuggle back to bed, start to doze, cough cough cough.

Thankfully there was another 2hr time period that he slept, but then about 2 or 2:30, it started again. We stayed home today. He needed the rest. PC is off today. I could have (read "should have") gone to work, but I'm really damn tired myself and about 2 days behind SmallBoy in the chain of the sickness - and my band plays on Saturday night...talk about timing, plus, my stomach's all messed up from all of the extra iron the doc is giving me. So, I stayed home.

I had the privilege of taking the kids to school today. I take LargeBoy everyday, but that's 45minutes before he has to be there so that I can get to work on time. Girl and SmallBoy ride with PC. I let PC sleep this morning...he's been working so hard, and I was up anyway, so what the hell, right? It was kind of fun. The hustle and bustle of everyone trying to be where the needed to be, the fight for the perfect parking place (it felt a little like the scene in Mr. Mom - "North to drop off, South to pick up.").

I pulled back up to the house, turned to lock the car and saw Girl's viola still in the back seat. She had called shotgun when I took her and her brother to school, and she put the viola in the back. Obviously, she had forgotten. I toyed, only momentarily, about teaching her a lesson in responsibility, and then the I-miss-being-a-stay-at-home-mom instinct kicked in. School officially started in 5 minutes. I could make it! Back into the car and then off I raced (no more than 25mph in a school zone, though) and got to the school just in time. As I walked into the office, they said to me,

"Oh, Girl was JUST in here calling you."

With that, she walked past and all was well. I was met with a bright and truly thankful,

"Thank you, Mommy!" (I love when my almost 14 y/o calls me 'mommy', makes me forget that she's almost 14).

She has auditions for her music festival coming up and every lesson now is a must.

Now I'm stuck with the dilemma: I'm already up, but I'm really freaking tired from no sleep last night. Everyone else is sleeping still. Should I do the mom thing and start cleaning and doing laundry or should I give in to my body to avoid getting sick and GO TO SLEEP? Sleep sounds good, but I'm not sure I can do that after 2 cups of coffee. Oh well, we'll see! Nope, decision made. My Not-So-SmallBoy is up. I'm up. We'll hang out together. I'll make bacon and eggs - oh, no eggs....oh well. Maybe we'll bake again today! GOD I wish I could stay at home again. Too bad stay at home mothers don't get paid, they would command THE single highest salaries! To SAHMs EVERYWHERE!! CHEERS!