No School, North Country, New Things

I have a love/hate relationship with the kids' days off from school. It makes my mornings SO much easier when, in my rush to get off to work, I don't have to stop mid-routine and wake up one, then the other, then another (repeatedly). Then again, Girl wants to go shopping, LargeBoy has school....what to do with SmallBoy? Granted, he's 10, and, were he NT, he could probably stay home by himself, but I don't think I'd be too comfortable with that ~ a dilemma with which working parents grapple each time the school calendar bolds those two words: NO SCHOOL.

Today we worked out a compromise, Girl didn't leave to go shopping until almost noon, and PC was going to be home around 3. I work 7minutes away, so I can get home in an emergency. We briefed him on what was going on. He's been home alone for 1/2hr/45 minute stints before, when he gets home from school and his brother and/or sister haven't arrived yet. He's fine. He gets up in the morning WELL before we're ready to and is able to occupy himself, although, it's usually with the TV, the computer, or video games...but the point is, he's able. I called a few times to check on him, but he never answers the phone which, I suppose, is for the best. He's fine. I'll be more fine when I get home.

Saturday night the new band, North Country, made its debut. I will have to admit that, although I attempted, and probably pulled off, an air of calm and don't-worry-be-happy, I was PETRIFIED....not because I wasn't confident in the band, I knew they'd rock, but because it was a first. I took for granted the comfort that comes with knowing where everything's going to fall, how people will interact on stage, what people have come to expect of the band...but it was fine. We had a few glitches, but whatever we encountered, we overcame and laughed off, especially our double - time song, Redneck Women (Alvin & the Chipmunks Style). We had a riot, though. I absolutely cannot wait to do it again. These people are so talented and so professional, and we were all right here under each others' noses.

I also had the good fortune to meet fellow autism blogger, Wade and his daughter, L, who had the great timing to be in town over the weekend. I can't tell you how cool it was to finally meet him (THANX FOR COMING - and staying longer than you had planned!) It was really nice to finally put a face, and a voice, to the amazing, "discussion - inspiring" posts over at Injecting Sense. I gotta tell ya, he's really cool! You gotta meet him!

In addition to the band, there are a lot of new things going on in our life, but I'll speak to the most important - that being the Not-So-SmallBoy. He spent Saturday night with my mom (GR), because Girl & LargeBoy were at Ex's. SmallBoy has a great time when he's there, he has a place to chill, sans all the distractions that our house and our schedules and our lives have to offer. Just SmallBoy & GR. When he got home, his engine was nice and regulated, as were mine & PC's, but, of course, as the afternoon rolled on and things got back to "normal," everyone's engines revved up high and we all got a little irritable.

SmallBoy ended up in his room cooling off/arguing with me over his GameBoy until I told him he had to clean his room. That, as you would expect, was met with a great big, "WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!" As we sat and talked together, I explained to him that I did not expect this Herculean task to be done all in one session, and made him a list of what he needed to do - Lists are beautiful things! After a few more trips up the stairs by PC & me, and some gentle prodding, the task got done. We had also turned on some of his Listening Therapy music (btw - the frequencies still play on the boom box the way they do in the headphones). His engine came WAY back down. I went up at 9 to check on him and he was, for the most part, done with the list I had written for him. Of course there is still some work, I called it "fine tuning," to be done, but he had finished what I had set for him. Dressed in his blue fuzzy sports robe and his boxer shorts, he was ready to come back down stairs and join us, but stopped before he did so. We are keeping Snood for a few days while her parents are out of town, so SmallBoy has an extra sister, and he knows that, even though she is at our house so much that she is practically another one of our family, she is still a guest. He stopped and said to me, "Mom, I need to put my clothes back on. We have Snood here and I can't go downstairs in my robe & sleep shorts." COOOOOOOL!

We have been trying, for a LONG time, to get him to grasp the concept of being dressed appropriately when we have guests, even when it's bedtime. He would always come down in his tighty whities when he was getting ready for bed, or if he got up first (which he usually does). This time, though...it was as though something clicked. TaDA!

I'm going to try and write more again, but we're making some huge decisions in our life right now and they're wracking my nerves a bit, but hey, that'll be something to write about, won't it. Tonight, though, I don't think I'll get to it. My goal is to get the DAMN TREE DOWN! Yes, my Christmas tree is still up. I just haven't had time to get to it. It's never an easy thing, and it's never even close to as much fun and festive as putting it up. One year our tree was up til Valentine's Day (and beyond~~~sorry, my brain was invaded by the spirit of Buzz Lightyear). It WILL come down tonight. We actually discussed putting a drop of superglue on each ornament and just carrying it out to the garage...LOLOLOLOL. We also thought of telling people that yes, in fact, we had already taken our tree down, but that we looked at our calendar and saw that we have no time between now and next Christmas to put it up again, so, the only logical time to put the tree of for Christmas 2007 was, well, now.

I need coffee....anyone have coffee???????

Big Block of Wood Day (and a Cat vs Mouse update)

It is time, once again, for the Cub Scouts to have their annual Pinewood Derby race (or, as I like to call it, "Big Block of Wood Day,". Last year, was SmallBoy's first run at this, so he and PC diligently spent hours upon hours preparing the ultimate car for racing. On the first run, SmallBoy's wheel fell off and the rest of the afternoon was spent melting after each race until, finally, SmallBoy's & PC's car won 3rd place for design in his Den. It was a rough one.

This year, though, we are prepared. How prepared? The weigh-in is tonight. The boys (SmallBoy & PC, that is) are spending today cutting, sanding, & painting. After the weigh-in, they will make any minor adjustments (like attaching the wheels - we'll weigh it with the wheels & nails resting on top of the car). We've spent quite a bit of time recapping last year's race with SmallBoy to stress and restress the importance of participation in the activity over WINNING the activity. We discussed and got him to remember how MANY other cars also had "technical difficulties" and didn't win a single race. We also reminded him that, although "The Shadow" (this year's car) is going to be REALLY cool and perfectly designed, there's still a large chance that it won't win - and THAT'S OK.

I think he'll have a better time dealing with that this year. It's been a year of growth for all of us. We've ALL learned how to handle things - be it extra preparation, an extra glass of wine for ME before the event so that I stay calm if he melts, learning from experience, etc....Also SmallBoy had the opportunity to participate in a basketball tournament over break. The school holds a 3-on-3 tournament the last week of winter break for the students. The teams are structured with kids from 4th - 8th grade - with one representative from each grade on each time, both boys and girls (sadly, siblings cannot be on the same team). To encourage the older kids to pass to the younger ones, the points work in such a way that a basket scored by a 4th grader is worth 5pts (10 in the last 2minutes), whereas a basket scored by an 8th grader is only worth one point. The 8th graders are not allowed to block the 4th graders either. It's a wonderful thing.

In this tournament, SmallBoy's has lost all but one game and, today in the single elimination playoffs, lost to his sister's team by a score of 76 - 46 (OUCH). But he scored A LOT! He's also learned about playing a game with a team, and by pre-set rules that he cannot change to suit him. The first game that he lost, he melted - bigtime. His sister and one of the teacher's (who knows our family very well), helped him out of it and he was fine. He had a mini-melt (as we like to call them) another time, and handled it all by himself. He's doing better at those - when he wants to. I told him how proud we are of him and that pleased him greatly. I am crossing my fingers (but not holding my breath) that this experience will carry over to the Pinewood Derby and will help build his confidence in himself and his ability to deal with his "Aspie-ness". I'll keep you posted.

Tonight, after the big weigh-in, SmallBoy is having three of his buddies, PQ, GC & GV over for a sleepover - he's calling it "The Last Bash of Winter Break." Girl & LargeBoy will be, in theory, with their father this weekend (though even that is becoming less frequent - did I mention New Wife is expecting AGAIN?). SmallBoy, then, will have the run of the house. He's got elaborate plans for a video game-a-thon (GOD HELP ME!), but he'll be having fun. I'm excited for him. Hopefully we won't have any uninvited furry friends again.

Maizecat went on the prowl again yesterday and caught the escaped mouse. She did not learn from her lesson , though. She kept letting it go and batting at it. She kept this up for over an hour - silly kitty. When the poor mouse was last freed, we're assuming it ran off and died somewhere, hopefully outside, because we didn't see a mouse corpse anywhere in the house - YET - and, the cats were very content last night. They moused for a bit, but then curled up and snoozed, as they do, and Maizey spent the night in bed with us, as she does. Check out the previous post if you missed our first adventure with the mouse - Ooh ooh and if you did, you can also see the "video" of PC, JG, and me (3 of 5 North Country members) performing - at home - a newly arranged version of the song that PC has written, Blue Star Highway. GO. NOW. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease! See, I've given you LOTS of links!

My Christmas Vacation Essay:

I have been on vacation from work since I got off on Friday. I, sadly, will be returning back to the real world next Tuesday. This week is flying past before I can blink and I realizing that I should have requested two weeks off so that I could maximize the time with my family. This week, busy as it has been, has been terrific, exciting, fun-filled, and, at the same time, completely exhausting, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat. You know that I'm a picture geek, so just be prepared, I've got a lot of catching up to do. Let's start with Christmas gifts (I know, it's materialistic,but I want to show off what I got!). This beautiful watch I received from my beloved PC. I am always needing to know what time it is, and without a watch on my arm, I'm lost. For the last year, I've been watchless. This has kept me from leaving the office on my lunch hour, for fear of coming back late. Isn't it beautiful? And it's a silvery, antique looking, very feminine watch to make me feel very lady-like (I need help with that sometimes). He's such a love, only finds the best for me!

I got another Marti piece from my MIL. I now own three "Martis" and I love each. This particular piece is called "Bo Peep." It's a sweet little necklace, very innocent, and subtle, yet making sure it's noticeable that people say, "Wow! Great necklace, where did you get that?" You know me, I can't resist the urge to plug a sister blogger, let alone a sister blogger who is family! I proudly say, "OH! It IS wonderful! Let me write down this site for you. Each piece is individual, so if you find one on her site that you enjoy, snap it up right away, because it may not be there the next time you visit." Had I better photography skills, this might have been a little closer of an image and you could see the detail of the sweet little flower pressed into the round clay of the pendant and the bit of bead detailing leading up to the chain. If you've not checked Marti's site out in a while, GO NOW (then go check out her blog)! You'll fall in love!

After reading the post by Mom-NOS, I knew that I MUST have this book and put it so far at the top of my Christmas list that everyone wanted to go out and get it for me. I received George & Sam from my father this year and I can't wait to dive in. I'm terribly excited, as I received two autism books this year - this and Al Capone Does My Shirts (from Meem). I'm very excited not only because I've been dying to read this books, but because they'll give my poor brain a break from doing sudoku every day at lunch!

This beautiful bookmark, from Auntie, will help me keep my place. I don't get to see Auntie very often, but she's always so thoughtful and loving and generous. My memories of Christmas with Auntie are so wonderful. When we were kids, my family would always spend Christmas Eve at Auntie's doing the big Italian Christmas - mostaccioli, sausage, meatball, and my grandfather's calamari. We got stuffed, opened presents, spent wonderful, memorable evenings being big goofballs (never once making a nice, straight face in our pictures), and having a blast. As adults, we were there telling our children to make straight faces and not be goofs, policing up the gift wrap, keeping the children from running amok, and snarfing fabulous food! I miss Christmas at Auntie's, but we're "all growed up" with kidlets of our own now, and lots of places to be all at the same time. Auntie always keeps us close to her, though. Thanks, Auntie, I love it!!!!! Merry Christmas! (Can you see the charm? It says "#1 Mom"!!!)

Lots of wonderful presents were given and received. Girl made me some wonderful soaps and a coupon book - my favorite coupons being, "A whole day of the computer all to [my]self," "One free Scwatchy," and -this one's hysterical, "I will pee for you," because I'm constantly asking people to go for me because I'm usually too busy to stop and do it myself.

Meltdowns were at a minimum for the SmallBoy for Christmas, at least with me. He did go to Ex's, but they were not there for the whole weekend - because they were all sick - RIIIIIIGHT! Oh, and we also found out that there will be another new addition to Ex's family, so we know that SmallBoy will never be visiting Ex's house for any extended length of time.

We made it through Christmas day, miraculously meltdown free - I sent him off to Ex's with NO game system, but promised him that I'd bring it for ours. When they got to Meem's I let him have it and let him play to decompress before we bolted out of there (sadly, didn't have time for dinner because we had to get to MY family's in time for presents). We went on to my aunt's house, opened presents, and went home. NO melting - there was a lot of boredom and wanting to go home, but no meltdowns - til Tuesday at Dad's, and even that wasn't bad, that was just speaking out loud and inappropriately about how he didn't like his presents - he wanted video games, I told everyone not to get video games, gave them lists - weighted balls, boxer shorts, board games, cool light up toys. He really did want these things, and was glad to have them once he got over the fact that there were no video games. We had to get through the, "but I don't WANT these! I didn't ASK for these!", but we did. When we left my father's though, we got to take KR home with us!

I'll put together a slide show next time I get the computer, but here are some of the fun things we did. We spent the day in the city yesterday, KR, PC, SmallBoy, and I - enjoy these!


Our first stop after we got off the train was to go see the windows at Marshall Field's (I refuse to call it the "M" word). The theme this year was Mary Poppins. It was cute, but the characters looked kind of creepy - but the children watching it were SO excited! You could just see the light and the wonder in their eyes as they looked at THIS window - trying desperately to figure out how they got the display to float, as in the "I Love to Laugh" part of the movie.


We had a BLAST when we went inside Field's and hit the hat section! Here are SmallBoy & KR modeling! We had some silly moments and some people who just looked at us like we were totally off our rockers!


Off we went to Millenium Park and goofed off for a couple of hours. We were going to go skating, but the line to rent skates was over an hour long. Instead, we looked for some snow for KR - keep watching for the slide show to see what happened with the snow!

In a couple of hours, we have to return KR to her mama :-(. That's my pout. We are very fortunate to have been able to steal her away for a few days all to ourselves. That was truly a wonderful Christmas gift! Now, though, I'm going to find some breakfast!!!

Uh....OH MY GOD...Prepare for PANIC!

OH MY GOD!!!!!! Have you SEEN my list? CRIKEY! Whatever shall I do? Call in sick for the rest of the week? No, too much to do at work. OH! I know...I'll cancel all of our evening obligations this week - haircuts, basketball, work on reading with SmallBoy, driving with LargeBoy to prep for on-road driving test (GOD HELP ME!), work on reading with SmallBoy, basketball, OT, figure out if Ex is taking them at all for the weekend or just on Christmas Day proper, work on reading with SmallBoy, scouts, basketball, work on reading with SmallBoy, basketball, basketball, gig with the band. Nope, too much to do with that too. I see that my only solution to this problem is not just calling in sick - that will only delay the inevitable. I must call in DEAD. Somehow, though, I don't forsee having a problem pulling that off. I'm not sure how I'm actually even conscious right now. Must be that ethical part of me that won't allow me to sleep on the job even though there is no one here but me and I can count on less than two hands how many times the phone has rung today.

Tonight - haircuts basketball sleep. I will not stop in between. I'm on a mission. I haven't slept well, I've been snapping at the kids and at PC. My to do list is made and organized into what I need to do in the next - OH MY GOD- 6 days:

SHOP FOR:
Mom
Dad
BMD
KR
Chica
Cousin in grab bag
random adult in grab bag
1 more thing for LargeBoy
ET
something else for Princess
stocking stuffers
posterboard - MUST GET TONIGHT

Can anyone do this FOR me? I haven't anytime unless I don't see any of you for Christmas and just plain old shop on the holiday.

I feel yucky, oh so yucky. I feel yuck, and ucky, and bleh.
Eyes are burning, stomach's churning. I don't want to do much else but sleep.

Ok, I better stop there before someone hurts me.

Update: Really, this IS yesterday's post, but I was a good girl last night and went to bed as soon as we got home from basketball - without even stopping by MommyGuilt first. We got the haircuts, we got the posterboard, we even managed to get the gift for the cousin in the grab bag! (Walgreen's is a beautiful thing - no, the haircuts came from the shop across from my office).

Girl's game was a heartbreaker, but they played one of their archrivals - and they're equally as good as we are. Let's just say that for MOST of the game, it was all defense, until the other team's offense kicked it into high gear and the refs started calling jump balls instead of fouling out the other team's leading scorer (though we drove to the hoop and drew foul after foul after foul on her - she should have been fouled out at the beginning of the 4th quarter had the refs been calling).

So that's where we are. I still feel yucky, but today it's not the burning eyes and the yucky stomach so much as a sore throat. Better heed my mother's advice and take my vitamins!

Let's See If I Can Stay on Track Again

Last time I made myself an outline I stayed, relatively, on track. Think I can do it again? Hmmm...I want to tell you about so many things that have been going on, that I think I should make THE LIST again. Darn, my snowman's not moving. Well, you get the idea. Ok, let's see - what do I need to tell you about?
Scouts and the camping trip
SmallBoy & school (OY)
Christmas chaos
House...GRRRR
Cookie Day
EXHALE!!
I think that's it! Let's start at the top - and I don't know that these are in order at all:

SCOUTS & CAMPING
The first weekend of the month, PC & ET took SmallBoy on a campout with the scouts. The Boy Scout troop invited all of the boys in SmallBoy's age bracket (Weeblos I & II) to join them on a camping weekend. They planned on doing many activities to help the boys earn badges - and lots of them. From our den, only three other boys/dads went on the trip, as it was RIDICULOUSLY cold - my guys were brave! From the Weeblos II den, a few other father/son teams went along, including the man who, until last year, used to be the Scout Master of the whole pack and his son.

When my guys finally arrived up north in Woodstock, IL, they were ecstatic to be alive. The snow had hit two days before, but up in the rural country of the campgrounds, the roads were barely passable and they thought the certain death was imminent. As they exited the snuggly warmth of our little Honda, they were slapped across the face with the cold biting winter wind reminding them that, indeed, they were roughing it for the next 24hrs. My guys were prepared, dressed in layers and "toughness." They schlepped their gear to their cabin, geared up for the day, and headed out to meet the boy scouts of our troop. Their journey into the "arctic," as it seemed, came to a temporary screeching halt as a troop of boy scouts pulled up to the cabin, also to unload. These scouts had previously given up their reservations due to the weather and now, apparently, had changed their minds. Good, caring gentlemen that our troop are, offered to share the cabin, which had two separate floors, and plenty of room. The other troop was thrilled, and began to unpack their cars, from which they carried in at least 10 television sets, multiple video gaming systems, stereos and mp3 players - all contraband in the eyes of the scouts. Clearly this troop had no intention, whatsoever, of "scouting" for the weekend.

Giving it only a second thought, my guys continued on with their days. There wasn't much going on in the way of earning badges, but the boys were outside having fun. They did, however, hone their hunting/seeking/retrieval skills through a 3-Man Slingshot challenge. PC, ET, and another dad took frozen oranges and shot them out of a 3-Man slingshot into the deep deep snow. They scouts were instructed to follow the orange by sight, and then to listen for the thud when it hit the snow. Then, they were sent to retrieve it. Not an easy job in 2ft of snow out in the country, but they had fun. Sled hills, snow, boys - yeah, lots of fun, minimal badgework.

Unfortunately, SmallBoy got targeted by Former ScoutMaster (who is NOT a very nice man, thinks he's a drill seargent), AND Son of Former ScoutMaster. The son is a year or two older than SmallBoy, and they go to school together. This child has a reputation for harrassing other kids, pushing them around, and just being a general pain in the behind. This child also has an underlying learning disability, so, being the open minded person that I am, and not his parent, always turned a semi-blind eye to the behavior (shame on me). That is, I always turned one until now. The boys were down at the bottom of the sled hill when one scout came back up and told PC that SmallBoy was crying and he thought that SmallBoy was hurt. As it happened, this was the scout's way of indirectly ratting out Son of Former ScoutMaster who had SmallBoy face down on the ground grinding his face into the ground. PC didn't even hear him screaming until Son of Former ScoutMaster lifted his head up for a brief, oh so brief second, so that he could breath, and then promptly smushed him back into the snow. Where, oh where was Former ScoutMaster? In the cabin playing cards with some of the other fathers. Another lovely incident was when the boys were actually outside working on a badge project. SmallBoy told PC that he needed to use the bathroom. PC told him that he had to go to, and that he'd go with him. Well, Former ScoutMaster, abusing his former power and his "power" as the only leader there from our Pack, told my SmallBoy, "You're not going anywhere. You PISS IN YOUR PANTS!" First of all, NO. Second of all, NO. Thirdly, NO! You don't tell a child, especially one that doesn't belong to you, to PISS IN HIS PANTS. You don't tell MY child, with or without an accompanying adult, to PISS IN HIS PANTS. You don't tell YELL at a child on the spectrum, you don't SWEAR in front of all the other boys, you don't humiliate MY son, nor do you outrank my husban who is with my child and knows exactly how to take care of him.

The next incident was at dinner. The boys were all neatly lined in 2 lines waiting, believe it or not, quietly, for their food. Mr. Former ScoutMaster decided that he did not like this arrangement, made the executive decision to make it a single file line, then grabbed MY SON and another young boy by the scruff of the neck and told them that they had to go to the end of the line. Again, a child on the spectrum who is at the beginning of the line AND being patient and quiet is a very wonderful sight to behold. YOU DON'T MOVE HIM. Also, you don't GRAB a child, particularly a young one, and one who is behaving, by the scruff of the neck and yank him out of line. It's been a couple of weeks since this incident and I'm STILL FUMING. Later, Son of Former ScoutMaster told ET that he didn't like SmallBoy because he was stupid and an idiot. Honestly, I don't know HOW ET held himself together and didn't just go off on this kid - perhaps because, being a phenomenal father himself, ET is smart enough to know that know matter how much of a jerk someone is, particularly a child, you don't go off on them. I can't remember exactly how he responded to this boy, but it was completely in defense of SmallBoy along with a "don't you ever...."

OH, I almost forgot about the other troop with the televisions and video games. Loud boys upstairs. They stayed up, well after our troops had lights out, and played video games, loud music, furniture rearranging, jumping, you name it, until 3am. When the guys arrived home the next day and relayed the goings on to me, I was LIVID. I am not one to put up a stink to a higher-up, but this time it involved my child. That's going over the line. I got on the phone with the current fantastic ScoutMaster who has a son in SmallBoy's class, has different issues, but uses the same OT as SmallBoy, ScoutMaster who understands SmallBoy and treats him with equality, but with the little differences - and respect, that he deserves. He was livid. ET wrote an email to the Boy Scouts of America who assured us that this would be looke into. Boy do I feel like I opened a nasty can of worms. We get to spend two of the nights this week at scout outings with Former ScoutMaster and Son. Should be interesting.

SmallBoy & School
Meltdown city. Oh LORD! School's been incredibly trying these last couple of weeks. I have spoken more in the last two weeks to SmallBoy's teachers than I did all of last year. My poor guy has just been having such a difficult time. He's not been wanting to do the work, he's been complaining that it's either too easy or too hard, he's not been wanting to do the assignment as given, but his own way. He's been exploding in class and the kids, who have been SO incredible with him, are now all afraid to even speak to him for fear that he may blow up again for reasons unclear to them - and even to SmallBoy.

We all know that with a spectrum child, meltdowns can come on out of the blue, or over the smallest little thing. We also know that, odds are, it isn't the smallest little thing that causes the melt down, it just happens to be the spark on the powder keg that's been waiting to go off, filling more and more with powder - enough to fuel a HUGE explosion. I've been at my wits end, trying to hold it together and not burst into tears at the office after talking to Mrs. M. I've broken at home, only for a bit, to let a little bit out, whild trying to remain "SUPERMOM". I've lost it at home, melting on my own - venting at everyone in my house for stupid stupid things - things like, "Mom, I need posterboard tomorrow," (oh crap, she really does), things like, "Geez, will you look at the calendar?! How are we supposed to be in all of these places that require us to be there all at the same time? And HOW, if we're supposed to be in those places, are we supposed to get our holiday shopping done? Our laundry done? Our house clean? My flat tire changed? Homework done? Lunches made? Spend time as a family?" Oh my head hurts.

My poor guy has been having his own struggles and meltdowns and, without realizing what I was doing, he's been stressing out worrying about ME. My Not-So-SmallBoy has been worrying about ME. Love him to pieces. He's worrying about himself, about making friends - he's feeling the "excommunication" from the group, he's associating that with what Ex is doing to him, he's struggling with reading comprehension at school, and now he's worrying about me. What a schmuck I am. Totally unthinking sometimes, but I am so grateful to have a family that will help me see what I'm doing and where I'm going.

SmallBoy and I increased our intensity on our reading program that we're doing at home. I'm not sure if I posted on exactly what we're doing, but we're using one of the programs that we do at our center at work, and helping him learn to visualize and make pictures for everything that he's reading. This will help him to build comprehension skills in order to understand what he's reading, and to build an even greater vocabulary. We were doing it just a little bit, which, I should know better, isn't nearly enough. Now we're working on our own little deal: He works really hard and gets x amount of stars. If, by the end of the week he has earned 50stars, he gets to teach me one of his video games. This works out well for both of us because I'm teaching him, and then he'll get to teach me. It's just really really been breaking my heart to see him hurting like this.

Christmas Chaos
This should be a little shorter of a blurb. Are YOU done yet? Religious affiliation aside, everyone celebrates SOMETHING this time of year - Solstice, Hannukah, Christmas, Kwaanza - all of which involve preparation of something, joining with loved ones, sharing of something, usually, some kinds of formal ceremonies - be they at church, temple, home, etc....This year, we have Christmas parties, Christmas baking, elongated Christmas celebration, transportation of the children ON Christmas, deciding who will have them when and how they will get where on Christmas when we're not even certain what time we'll be where on Christmas. And that's just Christmas DAY! Christmas Eve, SmallBoy will sing with the youth choir at mass and I'll be the cantor, so we'll be singing together. Then we'll be having some family over and beginning a new tradition. Christmas Day, we'll do our thing in the morning, Meem & FIL's for food and gifts, then to my aunt's for more food & gifts, then home to collapse. Day AFTER Christmas, we'll spend at Dad's with KR and then bring KR home with us for 2days!!! WHOOT WHOOT!

If I live that long, I have a feeling I'll enjoy it. I haven't finished my shopping, and I still haven't shopped for my mother, my sisters, my father, my father's wife, ET - and I think I still have some stuffers to get for the stockings - OH GOD! I haven't found the stockings yet! And I have NO time this week. Tonight - Scouts/Basketball Game/Reading with SmallBoy/Passing out. Tomorrow night - basketball/Reading with SmallBoy/promoting Code West's gig for Saturday night/passing out. Wed night - Basketball, something else...you get the idea. Somewhere in the spare moments between all of these activities and the important things like sleeping, eating, bathing, and just plain dropping dead, I can find time to do all of the rest of the stuff that still has to get done - oh yeah! And I have to color my hair and find time for haircuts too! EGADS!

Dear Santa:
All I want for Christmas are a few more hours in the day and an extra day on the weekend that are reserved soley for me, that cannot be taken up by obligations for OTHER PEOPLE, other things, work, or anything that I do not care to do. I have been a very good girl this year. This gift does not involve spending any money or creating a brand new toy or video game. I would say this is a relatively simple request. Thank you for taking the time to carefully consider my Christmas wish.
Yours truly,
Me

HOUSE...GRRRRR
Saturday, in the mail, I get a letter from my mortgage company telling me that because I had a nasty little spell with paying for my house, that my escrow is so far down, they are now DOUBLING my mortgage payment, effective Feb. 1. First of all, this house is so NOT worth that amount of money each month. Secondly, if I really and truly could afford to spend that much money on my house each month, I'd live on the richy rich side of town...or at least in a larger house in the comfortable side of town. Can you say REFI????? Seriously, do mortgage companies actually think people will settle for this and just pay it? No. But I've got to do it fast, cuz Feb 1 will come up soon. I don't make that much money in a month. Seriously, I need to sell my house, but it's not ready to be sold, plus stupid Ex will put up such a stink that it would be unbearable if I tried to leave this town of "wide lawns and narrow minds," (E. Hemingway on this town in which I live).

Electrician is coming tomorrow to see what he can do to fix this awful thing. Our house is still on the original fuses and is totally stupid. Our house is sinking on one side, my stairs are falling apart, my garage is falling apart, my insurance company changed my policy and now, get this, they no longer cover any damages to the house caused by the weather - so if a tree falls on my house - nope, if we have a tornado and my house blows to Oz - nope, if we get so much snow that my roof collapses -nope. Can they DO that?????????

Cookie Day
We made scads and scads of cookies, I took scads of pictures. We baked from 10:45 until 6, propped the TV up so that we could roll and decorate cookies while watching the Bears almost blow it against Tampa. We made Grandma Rosie cookies (secret family recipe, roll out dough), butter cookies, gingerbread cookies, butternut snowballs, peanut butter kiss cookies, apricot delights, almond crescents. There were about 21-25 of us (and we were missing several people), and we rolled and decorated and spritzed and baked. I tried desperately to post a slide show of the pics, but they moved my entire blog around.

Cookie day was at my mother's house this year, we rotate every year. My mother lives across the street from a forest preserve. As we were walking up to her house, we noticed a few deer at the edge of the forest. Surprisingly, they stuck around all day. We all walked down there at one point or another over the course of the day and looked at and admired them. I believe there were five total - 2 bucks, 2 does, and a fawn. Amazingly, the bucks were not fighting. (I know, could have cropped a little better, but forgot). We arrived at around 11:15 and the last time we saw the deer outside - you could see them just by looking out of the window, was just before it got dark. I'm impressed, and surprised that they hung out that long.

These are just a smattering of our end result. We baked. A lot. Of Cookies. Somewhere in my spare time, I will bake some more, when, though, I'm not certain. To more pics from cookie day, either peek over at the sidebar, or, to see them larger, head over to my myspace blog, where the slide show is considerable larger in both height & width. I think I'm finally done with this post now. I stopped in the middle of the Christmas Chaos part, went home from work, snarfed down some food, did some reading work with SmallBoy, went to scouts, came home. It's now 10:00. I think that I may just go crack a beer (another beer) and go color my hair. Of course that means, no sleep until at least midnight, but then at least I will have THAT done! EEEEEK. Ta Ta my Friends. Sleep tight.

Short , for Me, and Probably Missing LOTS of Important Stuff

I made it, somehow to the weekend. I think I have the flu, SmallBoy's just been having the most awful week, life is insane, and tomorrow's cookie day...oh, wait, this morning my alarm went off at my weekday wakeup time, entirely too early, I was convinced it was Friday until PC told me it wasn't, and then, I couldn't get back to sleep. WRONG.

I'll post tomorrow or Monday about my Not-So-SmallBoy, but I'll just suffice it to say that the hyperlexia - weakness in reading comprehension - is REALLY getting to him. When that's added onto his already overful plate, full of stress, social struggles, Ex being an asshole issues, lack of time to do what HE wants to do (video games), it just makes things incredibly difficult for him. So today, in the few hours that I didn't feel like total and complete crap, just partial, incomplete crap, SmallBoy and I made a couple batches of cookie dough for our big giant family Cookie Day - which I'm pretty sure I mentioned in the post below. That kept him focused and happy for a while. He's just been SO sad and pained lately, so it was nice to see him genuinely interested in doing something and being happy about it.

Girl's Christmas program was Thursday night and I never got pics up from it, so here are a few:





She had a basketball game today, well, two, but only played in one of them. Thankfully I was still feeling somewhat ok - tired cuz I couldn't go back to sleep this morning, but relatively ok. Took some pics there, too...can you tell I don't feel like writing, but want to post SOMETHING?





She made it, we won - of course. Low scoring game, but we won, and that's what mattered. Second pic was from the half time shoot-around.

OH....DUH....Meem is in the process of publishing a children's book about Princess & ET, it's called "Daddy's House." PC built her a myspace to help promote. There are no pics or blurbs up about the book yet, but it's going to be wonderful. The book is a story about a little girl who lives with her mom, but visits her daddy every weekend. It tells about all of the fun things they do when they're together, their adventures, and their love for each other. Obviously, I'll keep promoting it here, too, but hop over there and check it out - say hi, whatever. Don't worry, I'll let you know as soon as we know when it's going to hit the shelves!

Alright, Loves, it's almost midnight, I feel like crap and we've got a busy day tomorrow! Smoochies. Good night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite!

Sunday Sunday Sunday

I've made the switch over to beta, figured out what I'm doing and am finding this new format to be pretty cool so far. I discovered the "label" feature and am in the process of going back and labeling all 409 posts. As I went through the month of November, to mark them all as NaBloPoMo, I discovered that somehow or other, I MISSED November 4th - two posts on 11/3, but nothing on the 4th. I was SOOOOOOOOOO diligent about getting them in. I threw my children off of the computer, "GET OFF! I NEED TO POST!" I can blame it on I thought I was posting after midnight and apparently didn't. I can blame it on a different time zone (but I wasn't in one), or I could just suck it up and say I didn't get the post in for some reason, and just never realized it. AAAAAAARRRGGHHH!!!!! Well, next year. Unless you guys, Laura & Kyra, really want to try and get a NaBloJanMo going - even if it is only the three of us.

This weekend went by entirely to quickly. Anyone agree? Ex had Girl and LargeBoy, of course NOT SmallBoy, for the weekend. Friday night we stayed in and made some music. We are in the process of forming another band (in addition to, not instead of Code West). So, ET came over, as did JG, who will be our other guitar player. We hung out, made music (and merry), and had a blast. SmallBoy hung out with me while the guys did their thing with their guitars and bongos. He taught me a couple more games and played just with me for a while. It was very nice for both of us, I think, especially since it was a weekend when he had been, once again, excluded from visiting his father.

Saturday was a very busy day from start to finish, yet it didn't seem overly crazy, like it usually does on the weekends. We had promised LargeBoy that we would take him out driving to log in some more behind-the-wheel time. Ex refuses to do this with him (Why? I'll never know.), so PC took him out for a couple of hours first thing in the morning, when traffic was relatively light. He's really doing a wonderful job. I'm still terrified, and I'm sure I will be for the rest of my life when I know he's behind the will (right, Mom?), but I'm much more comfortable with him driving than I was in September. New element in the equation now, the snow, but he's got to learn somehow.

GR had called and asked if SmallBoy would like to spend the night. She likes to have GR and SmallBoy nights when she knows that Ex has the other two. SmallBoy was THRILLED and had his bag packed within seconds. I told him that it would probably be mid to late afternoon before GR picked him up, because she had things to do, and we had Girl's play to attend. He was quite fine with that, as he was ecstatic that he was going to GR's and that he was going to see his sister's play.

The play was fantastic. The drama club performed a play based on children's books including Courduroy, The Grouchy LadyBug, Horton Hatches an Egg, Lon Po Po, Pierre, The Rough Faced Girl, and a couple others that I can't remember. The play began with a group of kids in the library talking about just how TOTALLY LAME it is to read. "Boring!" "Reading? Um, no." With that, one of the girls knocked over the table where the books are displayed and out rolled the Grouchy Ladybug. The librarian told the girls that to make up for losing the ladybug, they would have to read all of the stories until they found the one in which she belonged, and returned her to her story. The performances were wonderful. The play was written to have a narrator reading the story and then the story book character reciting their "lines." Girl was in 3 or 4 of the stories. In this pic, she was the wolf in Lon Po Po - a story similar to the mother goat and her three kids. Mother goes to visit grandma and tells the kids not to let anyone in no matter what. Big Bad Wolf (Girl) poses as Grandma and enters into the house, the kids finally discover her identity and then set about getting rid of the wolf. In Horton Hatches the Egg, she was the Ringmaster at the circus. Now, the costumes are never too elaborate, it's junior high play in a Catholic School, so you know that it's all volunteers, but the kids always manage to pull them off. She came out in a "ringmaster" jacket and a hat and looked fantastic. She already had her nose and eyebrows on for her Lon Po Po character, so she looked extra adorable. She came out and with all of the confidence in the world, like she owned this role, like she was meant to be a ringmaster. She was graceful, elegant, and Seuss-ian. PC and I were terribly proud of her. I really want to put more pics in this post, but I'll add them to the slide show in the sidebar instead. In the Grouchy LadyBug, Snood played the ladybug and Girl played one of the animals that the ladybug kept challenging to fight, in Girl's case, the rhinoceros. I tried to get a good pic of the two of them on the stage together, but when I finally got into position, Girl was the one and only character that came out stage left. Go figure.

After the play, GR came and picked up SmallBoy. PC and I were home alone with nothing to do - at least for an hour or so before we headed out to Girl's basketball game. It was against the rich snooty kids from the next village over. They had all been "myspace-ing" each other all week and trash talking each other. Our girls were pumped. It was the other school's Pack-the-Place, the school spirit game - the BIG rivalry. Sadly, our girls did NOT win, but their record for the season, so far is 15-3, so we're not complaining. Between the coaching, the shots just NOT falling, bad defense, bad calls & non-calls, it was not a pretty game, but they fought hard. They've got a great record and we're all proud of them. After the game, PC and I had SUCH a craving for sub sandwiches that we stopped at one of the best joints in town, SubTender (or SubT, for short), grabbed some subs and headed home - to our empty house. Gee, what should an exhausted couple that hardly ever gets alone time do with a house to themselves - no kids, no obligations - do for the evening? What any couple would do in this situation; we plopped ourselves on the sofa with our sandwiches and popped in the first disc of the second season of The Office. I nodded off by about episode 4, PC was out by episode 6. We were in bed, asleep by midnight.

That actually served me well, as I had to sing 7:30 mass at church this morning. I so had hopes to go back to bed when I got home, but by 8:45, I was awake. PC got out of bed, we made some coffee, and discussed our game plan. We both had a craving for biscuits and gravy for breakfast, so we headed to our favorite breakfast restaurant - Page's, in Hinsdale (GO THERE!!!!). We pigged out. Out to GR's we went to pick up SmallBoy and go to Cub Scouts. We were doing an outdoor 3 mile hike today, so we knew we'd walk off breakfast. The weather was relatively decent (for Chicago in December), especially compared to the great freeze we had last week. PC ad SmallBoy, fresh from the frozen camp out last weekend, were well prepared with their layers of clothing. I did pretty ok, too, but by about 5 minutes into the walk I was wearing both my hat and PC's hat (which technically IS mine anyway). The boys goofed around, explored, got off task, on task, followed, passed, lagged behind, but had a great time. Every so often our den leader, Mr. G, would stop the guys and have them massage their feet to warm them, take a hydration break and, believe it or not, cool off. We got pretty cozy warm while hiking. SmallBoy got so warm that he wanted to take off his hat (especially since some of the other scouts had). I, not thinking in ASD mode, ended up arguing with him about keeping his hat on. DUH - after going back an forth for about 45 seconds, I told him that he could take it off for 2minutes but then had to put it back on. After 2 minutes, he put it back on - no arguements, whatsoever. LIGHT BULB! I told him then that, absolutely, when he got too hot, he could take his hat off for 2 minutes to cool down. Bam! He put it back on each time!

The boys hiked along doing 1.5miles out and 1.5 miles back. They were fortunate enough, on the way back to spot a fawn - then an 8-point buck and the doe (can you find him in here?). We were considerably closer than this picture represents. It was really fun watching the boys saying, "COOL! Deer!" and knowing that the deer were probably thinking, "COOL! People!" We stood and stared at each other for about 2 or 3 minutes before we moved on. The deer, surprisingly, never bolted - I expected them to take off at the noise and sudden movements that the boys made, but they stayed, and we moved on.

Our long, cold afternoon came to an end as we dropped SmallBoy off for a whole whopping hour at his father's. He insisted on having SmallBoy for a little bit of time this weekend, even after I explained his incredibly busy schedule for the day. Had I known HOW little time he would have him, I would have just said no. Literally, it was an hour, and then he came bounding through my door again. I asked him if he had a good time at his father's and he told me about what he and LargeBoy did for the hour - worked on a Lego toy he has there.

Now, we're all home - except Girl, she's at a softball tournament (don't worry, it's indoors). Snat and a friend are over trying get our dishwasher to work, the boys are watching a combination of The Simpsons and football. LargeBoy is DESPERATELY waiting for his turn on the computer. He's got some CDs to burn into iTunes, so I should be a nice mama and let him have it. Perhaps later I'll get the rest of the pics from the play and the scout outing loaded into the slide show for your entertainment.

Normal Life, Again.

The boys are home from their trip, I'll post some more about that tomorrow. The trip was given mixed reviews. Right now, all that matters is that they're home, safe & warm. PC is exhausted and is taking a nap. I know it's late, but he needed the sleep. I won't let him sleep much longer, though, or he won't be able to sleep tonight.

Heading out in the cold, in PC's nice warm car that doesn't have a terminally flat tire or a whine in the engine, to take Girl off to softball practice at the high school - gotta love softball in the freezing cold of winter - oh! NO! it's STILL autumn! GEEZ O PETES! Kyra, when's Solstice again? The 20th? 21st?

SmallBoy is in the living room using up his stars on some video games, LargeBoy's in the shower, and Girl's getting ready for softball. Thought I'd take this opportunity to SEIZE the computer before I lose it to the powers that be - no, that would be my kids.

Well, off I go. Slugging my coffee and finding my snow boots! Chat with you tomorrow! Happy Sunday. OH, wait...look what I found on this site. I found lots of great things and ordered a TON of stuff, but THIS one struck me. Perhaps I'll put it on SmallBoy's coat if his father ever sees him again. I LOVE it! I think it might, at the very least make a statement. Might not necessarily be effective in sending the message that it intends, because Ex is too pigheaded to understand, but it will get the message to others! Ok, really now, going to put on my snow boots and coat. Layers are the key here! Lots and lots of layers!

Here We Go 'Round The Mulberry Bush

Guess what! I know you've missed them. It's time, once again, to rant about Ex. Oh yes, he has returned from the hole in which he's been hiding. I thought that perhaps he was coming around a bit. No, no, I'd never expect a complete turn around, change of heart, thinking how smart I was to leave him because he was a total and complete ass, that would be WAY too much to wish for in one lifetime. I just thought that maybe he had finally backed off and was maybe, kinda sorta considering, just maybe seeing SmallBoy again and was going to leave us alone.

Boy, was I wrong. I give to you an abridged version of my journal post - only because if I rewrite it, I will get so worked up about it that I'll probably explode here in my office. My desk is glass, it wouldn't be a pretty sight. PM, Girlfriend, let's do that chat thing again soon. I'll fire you off an email in a bit. Ok, so here it is:

Journal Entry

On Saturday, Ex called and asked me if I had claimed the kids on my 2005 tax returns. I told him that I would have to check them and get back in touch with him. That was not a satisfactory answer for him and he demanded that I answer him immediately. I told him that was impossible. His response, then, was the beginning of the tirade that has been whirling itself into a storm with hurricane force winds since.

He began by stating that he checked the divorce agreement and that I was only entitled to claim one of the children, SmallBoy, specifically, as a deduction. I told him that since the agreement was modified at the end of the two years following the divorce, as per the agreement, that I was now entitled to all three children. He said he would need to consult “his accountant” further. He said to me that he would not be paying any of the fines or penalties for this, because “his accountant” told him it was my fault.

I remained calm and told him that I would not be doing anything until I found my returns and, that, if it turns out that, indeed, it is my responsibility, I would take care of paying out whatever was necessary. He, then, changed gears and calmly said to me, “Well, no one has to do anything, you don’t have to pay me anything. We just have to write an addendum to the IRS explaining the situation.” Fine. I was satisfied with that. That would mean that whether or not this was my error or his, this was the end of that and all would be settled.

Nope. I heard nothing from him on Sunday, but yesterday, he called and left a message on my cell phone saying that he, again, had consulted his attorney and that I needed to get this taken care of as soon as possible, because this was going to be amounting heavy fines and late fees, which he has no intention of paying. He said that he had checked the divorce agreement and that according to [it] he has the right to claim LargeBoy & Girl, and I get SmallBoy.

I knew exactly to where he was referring. I went and looked back at my documentation and found the exact paragraph where it says, basically, that while I was receiving unallocated support and maintenance, upon which I was paying taxes since it was unallocated, he was correct in his interpretation I also looked further down the page to where it stated that upon termination of the unallocated support and maintenance, that we would review the allocation of the right to claim which child(ren).

I then referred to the document that we signed, drawn up by HIS attorney, in January of 2005, and entered into court stating that he was no longer paying me unallocated support and maintenance, but a considerably smaller amount in child support – NOT unallocated. This was when the number of children we claim was changed.

He screamed that he never signed such a document and he disputed its validity and told me that it was all bullshit and I was making up lies. I told him that I was looking at his signature on the agreement that HE worked out with HIS attorney. He left it with “Well, this isn’t the end of that. I never signed that. Was [my terrible attorney for the divorce] in on this crap?” I told him no. This document was written up by HIS attorney, worked up with HIM and that all I did was read it and sign it. He hung up on me.

When the phone rang 3 minutes later, he made no mention of the fact that he had been incorrect about anything. He just hammered into me that, in fact, [the agreement] said that “upon termination of unallocated maintenance and child support payments”…He said to me that he checked with his attorney, who, I might add, is the godmother of the new baby, and that I was wrong. He said that indeed the unallocated maintenance had been terminated, but not the child support. That as long as it said “child support” and not “support”, that I was wrong, he was right.

I tried to calmly explained the error of his ways and that it was for maintenance and child support; it was one LUMP sum that I received. It was not designated, allocated, as one thing or the other. The term encompassed both the maintenance AND the child support. The termination of that meant that he was no longer paying me an unallocated sum of money each week and was now paying strictly child support – that the money I received each week was, in fact, allocated as child support.

He still didn’t get it. He said that was bullshit, that his attorney told him that as long as he is paying child support the tax agreement is in effect, that the paragraph about the effects upon termination of the unallocated maintenance and child support said “child support,”….he kept hammering away on this. He was not getting the picture that when he no longer is required to pay child support that it won’t matter who claims the children, because neither of us will be.

The conversation began to get incredibly ugly at this point. He made some serious threats against me (not physical, but serious) if I did not pay him immediately, because he refused to pay the penalties and fines. He said he was proceeding with actions immediately and calling his accountant. He said that he refused to let me get away with this “kind of bullshit,” because I’m just trying to “squeeze more money than I deserve” out of him.

Ok, readers, exhale here, take a new breathe, and hold....

I reminded him that what he pays for child support is barely enough to cover one child’s expenses, let alone three – and one who needs extra "services". He, of course, defaulted to, “Hey, I pay the minimum that the law says I have to pay and that’s 32%. That’s what YOU get. If you’re so poor and broke, then how come you went to the Rolling Stones concert? How could you afford those tickets? Huh? Where did you get the money for those? Did you use the money I give you for the kids?”

I didn’t justify him by defending anything or arguing. That was back in January. He must have been stewing over that for a LONG time. I could have thrown back that he goes on vacations all the time, sends the kids to concerts, built a deck on his house and re-sided his house. I could have asked where he gets all that money. I could have alerted him to the fact that I am entitled to part of his wife’s salary in addition, but I didn’t. I stayed cool.

Not getting the rise out of me that he wanted, he played the tax fraud card again. He told me I was committing tax fraud AND violating the divorce agreement. I was done. I couldn’t keep biting my tongue. I also had to fight for SmallBoy. The gloves were off, but I was classy about it. I reminded him that at the time of the divorce he made almost three times as much money as I did, and I’m only seeing a tiny bit of it. I reminded him that when we renegotiated the figures, I didn’t fight, though I should have, for more child support. He, of course, said that didn’t matter, that he has to work overtime to get that extra money and I’m not entitled to his overtime anyway. I said that he makes more per hour than I do, quite a bit more, to be exact. I advised him that I was married to him long enough to know that he gets a raise every June and that amounts to a lot more than when we divorced. He said it didn’t matter, that I wasn’t getting any of it.

I also reminded him that HE was violating the divorce agreement by not taking SmallBoy. I didn’t delve any further into all of the emotional damage he is causing his son, the emotional abuse and abandonment. He bullied me, threatened me, attempted to blackmail me into removing the “emotional abuse” grounds out of our divorce agreement. Back to SmallBoy. He said he checked with his “experts,” and he was doing nothing wrong. I didn’t take it anywhere, because that’s an argument for another time. My guess is that he talked to someone who is not familiar with what’s going on, nor with SmallBoy, and said that he felt SmallBoy was a danger to New (almost 18mos old) Baby, and that person, being totally ignorant of the situation, said that he was perfectly within his limits. This is the same man who has made no attempts, nor desires to make any attempts, to become educated about Asperger’s Syndrome and other ASDs. The same man who refuses to come to OT sessions, that our OT saw at the bar down the street after our OT session when she went to go get some food. The same man who doesn’t know his son because he won’t spend any time with him. The same man who told his son that he can’t come back over to his house until he stops Being a LIAR.

I finished the conversation with, “Ok, write up the information, the fees, where things need to go and give it to me.” I did not say that I was going to pay it. I have every intention of being armed and ready with an attorney. I may pay it forward so that we don’t have to worry about it, but then go back into court and get this taken care of once and for all. I’m done. Mama Bear has to fight for her cubs, and I’ll be damned if we get stuck because he refuses to take care of the children.

His sole objective is to leave me broke as punishment for divorcing him. He never once considers the children. Just SMALLBOY alone is not covered by what he gives me per week. He refuses to pay for high school fees and costs because, “it’s not in the agreement.” He doesn’t help pay any of the incidentals – field trips, donations to school for out of uniform days, donations to the teachers’ gift funds, anything for the cub scouts (SmallBoy couldn’t go to camp last year because we couldn’t afford it), donations to the Christmas Angels programs in which both Girl & SmallBoy are required to participate for their classrooms, mandatory fund raising programs at the school. He also insists that Girl play sports, softball included, yet refuses to pay any portion of the overwhelming fees because, “it’s not in the agreement, and therefore, I don’t have to.”

I’m getting entirely too worked up at the moment, so I’m going to end this entry. However, I know that this is not over and we will be hearing more from Ex on this subject.

Ok, Dad, unclench your fists. PM, let's chat. Mom, exhale. Meem, FIL - I applaud you both for having raised such a wonderful man as PC. He truly deserves to be called a real dad. I know how much my children love him.

Anyone else have any thoughts or just your basic comment of "What a F#*!%ng A**%&!#"? I am going to have a very productive workout this afternoon and put "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera on terminal repeat:

After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that I hold resentment for you
But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
Cause if it wasnt for all that you tried to do, I wouldnt know
Just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
Cause it
[Chorus:]
Makes me that much stonger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for makin me a fighter

So, now I want you to go to yesterday's post, look at the pics and have a great laugh! Look forward to another post, probably tomorrow, though, about Girl's award. GO GIRL!

Stranger Things Have Happened

- Dentist
- Ex
- Workout
- Hair Tip
- Birthday list
See, I've got so much I want to talk about today that I had to post myself a mini-outline to keep myself on track. I wonder if it will work. Can't wait to re-read when I get to the end and see - it's kind of like playing telephone. Ok - here goes:

Dentist: If you read yesterday's rant about Ex, your up to speed on this whole scheduling crap. If not, here's the scoop: Got a call at about 9:15 Sunday night from Ex telling me that "he forgot" that he had scheduled a dentist appt for the kids for Monday at 4, throwing everything up in the air, schedules, prepping SmallBoy - you know the IMPORTANT things.

SmallBoy, of course, found this info out after he had already gone to bed, had trouble sleeping, stressed about it all day at school, having stomach aches and "itchies". MoronMan - yep.

Anyway, I got home and then the kids arrived sporting nice clean bright teeth and brand new toothbrushes. SmallBoy was THRILLED - NO CAVITIES. That, in and of itself is amazing since toothbrushing is a battle, let alone PROPER toothbrushing. Instead of doing the tray flouride or the rinse & spit flouride that makes all three of my kids either gag or hurl, he did a new paint-on flouride. That seemed to over MUCH better. SmallBoy's engine was at a pretty regular level and he was in a fabulous mood. By bedtime, he was ready to roll, climbed in, told me that he was glad that the dentist day was over, and went to sleep.

I wonder if all of the oral sensory stimulation he got at the dentist was actually a good thing. I was worried that it would be too much, but when I sat back and thought about it last night, it seemed that just the opposite had occured. All of that sensory input in an area where he least gets it and most needs it....amazing. Perhaps we should make a daily appt with the dentist - ok, weekly, it's just down the street from J the Fabulous OT. Ok, maybe I'm going a little overboard, but WOW.

Ex: The wonderful report from the dentist was just the first surprise of the evening. After the children all came bounding in with their smiles and toothbrushes, Girl told me that Ex needed directions to Meem's house so that he could drop off the kids on Thursday. (STOP. PAUSE. PICK JAW UP FROM FLOOR.) I really don't know what made him decide to do this, especially after his attitude on Sunday night, but I'm not going to question it. The only reason that makes sense to me is that he's looking at this as an "I won" moment. Hence, he still gets the kids, even on my birthday, because they'd rather be with HIS family. Yeah, see how TOTALLY mature that is? Either way, I will also be giving thanks on Thursday that SmallBoy is having a blast with his cousins and not bored sitting at home until we get ready to go to Meem's.

What his pea brain doesn't realize is that I'm not doing this for him. I'm doing it for the kids. Having THEM be happy is a wonderful birthday present!

Workout: I have recently started to workout again on a regular basis...ok, so not regular yet, as I've only been back for 3 workouts, but you know what I mean. I worked out Thursday and Friday, skipped Saturday morning, but, if you think about it, got a very INTENSE cardio workout at the gig Saturday night, worked out again yesterday and am going again tonight. I'm excited, got my iPod loaded with some good tunes and I'm ready to get my tone back, dammit!

Funny story, though. The way that Curves is set up is a circular, well, circuit. It alternates, machine, cardio station, machine, cardio station, etc...you spend 30seconds in each station, go around the circuit twice and in 30minutes you've completed a rigorous workout. Last night, I was all pumped up, got there a bit early, before the after work crowd, and jumped into the circle. Cardio first, then leg presses, then cardi-oooooooohhhhhhHHHHHH.

One of the things that I like to do on the cardio station, which is just a raised cushioned board, is the Flashdance thing - you know, how she worked out in her bare feet up and down up and down on her feet faster and faster, and "Maniac" was playing. Come on, you know. So, anyway, I do that and it really REALLy works my butt and my calves and thighs. Yesterday, I stared to get moving with this and my ass just SCREAMED at me, "OH YOU BITCH!" It hurt. LORD did it hurt. So, I turned up my iPod and did it harder. The words that were running through my head started with the letters "m-f", "S", "G-D!" Of COURSE I kept going. I knew that I was working the right muscles. No Pain, no gain. By the end of the workout all was well, and my buttocks had forgiven me. Hopefully they will foregive me enough to allow some room in the back of my gig jeans.

Hair Tip: I've got nothing on Marti's tips, but I'd like to add one. Not often do I let you guys see pics of me with my hair in it's natural state - curly. I DESPISE my curls. I love OTHER PEOPLE's curls, but I hate mine. Why? Because they have a mind of their own and refuse to work with me, whatsoever. They are evil and they must be stopped. And so, I fry them and straighten them out, which then leads to my hair punishing me by drying and breaking. Bad deal, huh?

Our bass player in our band is dating this woman with THE MOST beautiful curls I've seen (next to Marti's of course). At our gig Saturday, she looked fabulous, and so, I was compelled to ask her her secret. It's definitely not one I'd ever heard before. After washing, rinsing, conditioning, and repeating, oh yes, and getting out, turn your head upside down and dry, not with your terry cloth towels, but with - are you ready for this? - PAPER towels. You will use a lot of them, but it's SO worth the cost of buying extra rolls for the bathroom.

The reasoning behind paper vs terry cloth is that the terry cloth pulls out the curls. Obviously I never knew this or I would have started pulling out my curls as soon as I could hold the towel. The paper towels, remove the wetness, not the curl. Starting underneath - well, that makes perfect sense, because what part of your hair gets the wettest and is least exposed to the air to dry. Yep, underneath.

I tried this little tip last night. It worked. I let my hair airdry, as anyone with curls will tell you to do (unless you don't have time, in which case you use a diffuser and a cool-ish setting on the blowdryer). And get this....I had GOOD curls. When I woke up this morning, I STILL had good curls. I only had to do some minor wet & scrunch to revive the areas that I had slept on and was ready to go. The front of my hair is another story completely. My hair is so short there when it curls up, that I can't do anything with it, yet it's long enough that if I don't do SOMETHING, it does the Napoleon Dynamite thing and just goes off to one side in a poof. As a result, I had to straighten just the base of the front section so that I could retrieve enough length to pull it back off of my forehead (and I'm way too old to be doing that with my hair). Regardless, it was a complete success. I recommend this to anyone curly hair - and a bit of non - sticky, non - heavy curl juice for some extra bounce.

Birthday List: Pumpkin Pie...no, wait, it's Thanksgiving, I'll get that anyway. A new house or someone to fix my house (all of it, not just a little bit). I'd also like someone just to come in and do all the stuff I don't have time to do - like cleaning up the dog hair, dusting, giving the bathrooms a heavy duty cleaning every once in a while - you know, all the stuff I don't have time to do because I'm so busy trying to do the necessary things that I don't have time to do. Which leads to the next thing I'd like for my birthday - MORE TIME. The Winning Lotto Ticket. My sisters. Someone to sing the 7:30 and the 9:00am masses on Sunday. TIME. ALONE. OUT. OR IN. WITH MY HUSBAND. My children. A noticeable absence of "The Smoking Lecture" at Thanksgiving (which is intended to make those who smoke quit and those who don't smoke fear the evils associated with smoking, except that it's a lecture we all have memorized). A new camera to replace the one that's still lost somewhere in Michigan. TIME WITH MY KIDS. A weekend free of having to be in 20 places all at the same time (and no, Thursday and Friday don't count). A nap. To sit on the couch Thursday morning with PC and watch the parade and the dog show - oh, no, wait - we WILL be doing that, but it's on my list every year. Yeaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Those are the things at the top of my birthday list.

THIS JUST IN: Girl has been awarded the Optimists award by the Village of High Priced Everything in Which We Reside. She will receive this award, officially, next week at a luncheon at one of our historic "clubs". She was nominated by her peers, then, as a finalist had to write an essay (on what, I don't know; I just found out about the contest this afternoon when she called to tell me she had won!). Hers was chosen from the three finalists from her school. I find that pretty fabulous; this wittew goowah who has watched me go through hell and back, to the bottom of the poor box and back, and still is ever the optimist!

So, did I do it? Did I stay on track?