Get Your BookMarks & Your BookClubs Set

It's getting time to pull out the summer reading again, and boy do I have a great one for you! Following up her first book, Confessions of A SuperMom, Melanie Lynne Hauser is releasing SuperMom Saves the World. Super Mom picks up after the Horrible Swiffer Accident, and has our main character, Birdie (and her alter-ego, SuperMom) struggling with many things: The Phantom of the BallPark and the Secret Super Duper Swiffer, her ex-husband, her fiance, the Astro Park-O-Dome that seems to be an all consuming thing for the town, and a teenager who drives.

I haven't finished yet, but reading it is so much fun, I hate putting it down. I MUST go back and read her first book! What I really enjoy, aside from the fact that I can relate to Birdie, as she tries to do 12 things at one time. Go to Amazon NOW and order this book!!!!

My next MUST HAVE book, I recommend on a personal note. I know the author well and can tell you, without ever having read the book that it's fabulous, because I'm extremely familiar with the story. The book is called, Daddy's House by Jane Meadowcroft. It is the story of a little girl who lives with her mom. She visits with her daddy every weekend. Jane's book tells about all of the adventures the two have in their precious time together. It is the story of a beautiful relationship between a girl and her Daddy. It is a story of love, unconditional and from a bit of a unique perspective. This is a perfect book for families with children who travel between two houses. Check out Jane's book. You can buy it at Author House. This book is soon to be followed up by the story of a Prince Charming who sweeps an exhausted over-worked, underpaid mother of three (with one child on the Autistic Spectrum) off of her feet, and how they all begin, as a family, to grow together and create a whole new life.

I have more - but I haven't finished. I've been trying to read multiple books all at the same time and am still finishing a few. I'll keep them coming for you, though, I promise. Check out these books and let me know what you think!!!

My Christmas Vacation Essay:

I have been on vacation from work since I got off on Friday. I, sadly, will be returning back to the real world next Tuesday. This week is flying past before I can blink and I realizing that I should have requested two weeks off so that I could maximize the time with my family. This week, busy as it has been, has been terrific, exciting, fun-filled, and, at the same time, completely exhausting, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat. You know that I'm a picture geek, so just be prepared, I've got a lot of catching up to do. Let's start with Christmas gifts (I know, it's materialistic,but I want to show off what I got!). This beautiful watch I received from my beloved PC. I am always needing to know what time it is, and without a watch on my arm, I'm lost. For the last year, I've been watchless. This has kept me from leaving the office on my lunch hour, for fear of coming back late. Isn't it beautiful? And it's a silvery, antique looking, very feminine watch to make me feel very lady-like (I need help with that sometimes). He's such a love, only finds the best for me!

I got another Marti piece from my MIL. I now own three "Martis" and I love each. This particular piece is called "Bo Peep." It's a sweet little necklace, very innocent, and subtle, yet making sure it's noticeable that people say, "Wow! Great necklace, where did you get that?" You know me, I can't resist the urge to plug a sister blogger, let alone a sister blogger who is family! I proudly say, "OH! It IS wonderful! Let me write down this site for you. Each piece is individual, so if you find one on her site that you enjoy, snap it up right away, because it may not be there the next time you visit." Had I better photography skills, this might have been a little closer of an image and you could see the detail of the sweet little flower pressed into the round clay of the pendant and the bit of bead detailing leading up to the chain. If you've not checked Marti's site out in a while, GO NOW (then go check out her blog)! You'll fall in love!

After reading the post by Mom-NOS, I knew that I MUST have this book and put it so far at the top of my Christmas list that everyone wanted to go out and get it for me. I received George & Sam from my father this year and I can't wait to dive in. I'm terribly excited, as I received two autism books this year - this and Al Capone Does My Shirts (from Meem). I'm very excited not only because I've been dying to read this books, but because they'll give my poor brain a break from doing sudoku every day at lunch!

This beautiful bookmark, from Auntie, will help me keep my place. I don't get to see Auntie very often, but she's always so thoughtful and loving and generous. My memories of Christmas with Auntie are so wonderful. When we were kids, my family would always spend Christmas Eve at Auntie's doing the big Italian Christmas - mostaccioli, sausage, meatball, and my grandfather's calamari. We got stuffed, opened presents, spent wonderful, memorable evenings being big goofballs (never once making a nice, straight face in our pictures), and having a blast. As adults, we were there telling our children to make straight faces and not be goofs, policing up the gift wrap, keeping the children from running amok, and snarfing fabulous food! I miss Christmas at Auntie's, but we're "all growed up" with kidlets of our own now, and lots of places to be all at the same time. Auntie always keeps us close to her, though. Thanks, Auntie, I love it!!!!! Merry Christmas! (Can you see the charm? It says "#1 Mom"!!!)

Lots of wonderful presents were given and received. Girl made me some wonderful soaps and a coupon book - my favorite coupons being, "A whole day of the computer all to [my]self," "One free Scwatchy," and -this one's hysterical, "I will pee for you," because I'm constantly asking people to go for me because I'm usually too busy to stop and do it myself.

Meltdowns were at a minimum for the SmallBoy for Christmas, at least with me. He did go to Ex's, but they were not there for the whole weekend - because they were all sick - RIIIIIIGHT! Oh, and we also found out that there will be another new addition to Ex's family, so we know that SmallBoy will never be visiting Ex's house for any extended length of time.

We made it through Christmas day, miraculously meltdown free - I sent him off to Ex's with NO game system, but promised him that I'd bring it for ours. When they got to Meem's I let him have it and let him play to decompress before we bolted out of there (sadly, didn't have time for dinner because we had to get to MY family's in time for presents). We went on to my aunt's house, opened presents, and went home. NO melting - there was a lot of boredom and wanting to go home, but no meltdowns - til Tuesday at Dad's, and even that wasn't bad, that was just speaking out loud and inappropriately about how he didn't like his presents - he wanted video games, I told everyone not to get video games, gave them lists - weighted balls, boxer shorts, board games, cool light up toys. He really did want these things, and was glad to have them once he got over the fact that there were no video games. We had to get through the, "but I don't WANT these! I didn't ASK for these!", but we did. When we left my father's though, we got to take KR home with us!

I'll put together a slide show next time I get the computer, but here are some of the fun things we did. We spent the day in the city yesterday, KR, PC, SmallBoy, and I - enjoy these!


Our first stop after we got off the train was to go see the windows at Marshall Field's (I refuse to call it the "M" word). The theme this year was Mary Poppins. It was cute, but the characters looked kind of creepy - but the children watching it were SO excited! You could just see the light and the wonder in their eyes as they looked at THIS window - trying desperately to figure out how they got the display to float, as in the "I Love to Laugh" part of the movie.


We had a BLAST when we went inside Field's and hit the hat section! Here are SmallBoy & KR modeling! We had some silly moments and some people who just looked at us like we were totally off our rockers!


Off we went to Millenium Park and goofed off for a couple of hours. We were going to go skating, but the line to rent skates was over an hour long. Instead, we looked for some snow for KR - keep watching for the slide show to see what happened with the snow!

In a couple of hours, we have to return KR to her mama :-(. That's my pout. We are very fortunate to have been able to steal her away for a few days all to ourselves. That was truly a wonderful Christmas gift! Now, though, I'm going to find some breakfast!!!

Short , for Me, and Probably Missing LOTS of Important Stuff

I made it, somehow to the weekend. I think I have the flu, SmallBoy's just been having the most awful week, life is insane, and tomorrow's cookie day...oh, wait, this morning my alarm went off at my weekday wakeup time, entirely too early, I was convinced it was Friday until PC told me it wasn't, and then, I couldn't get back to sleep. WRONG.

I'll post tomorrow or Monday about my Not-So-SmallBoy, but I'll just suffice it to say that the hyperlexia - weakness in reading comprehension - is REALLY getting to him. When that's added onto his already overful plate, full of stress, social struggles, Ex being an asshole issues, lack of time to do what HE wants to do (video games), it just makes things incredibly difficult for him. So today, in the few hours that I didn't feel like total and complete crap, just partial, incomplete crap, SmallBoy and I made a couple batches of cookie dough for our big giant family Cookie Day - which I'm pretty sure I mentioned in the post below. That kept him focused and happy for a while. He's just been SO sad and pained lately, so it was nice to see him genuinely interested in doing something and being happy about it.

Girl's Christmas program was Thursday night and I never got pics up from it, so here are a few:





She had a basketball game today, well, two, but only played in one of them. Thankfully I was still feeling somewhat ok - tired cuz I couldn't go back to sleep this morning, but relatively ok. Took some pics there, too...can you tell I don't feel like writing, but want to post SOMETHING?





She made it, we won - of course. Low scoring game, but we won, and that's what mattered. Second pic was from the half time shoot-around.

OH....DUH....Meem is in the process of publishing a children's book about Princess & ET, it's called "Daddy's House." PC built her a myspace to help promote. There are no pics or blurbs up about the book yet, but it's going to be wonderful. The book is a story about a little girl who lives with her mom, but visits her daddy every weekend. It tells about all of the fun things they do when they're together, their adventures, and their love for each other. Obviously, I'll keep promoting it here, too, but hop over there and check it out - say hi, whatever. Don't worry, I'll let you know as soon as we know when it's going to hit the shelves!

Alright, Loves, it's almost midnight, I feel like crap and we've got a busy day tomorrow! Smoochies. Good night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite!

Hi, Moo!!!

I want to send a HUGE hello out to Moo - I believe Meem said you're in CA? I'm so happy to know I've got another reader out there.

Moo, I'm sure Meem has bragged about her LargeBoy, Girl, & SmallBoy, and I'm sure she's shown you, or emailed you pictures, but I doubt she has any like these:

We did these with this hysterical photo program that came on my mother's new laptop. We had such a scream doing them. I'm only in two or three near the end, but you really can't tell it's me. In one, though, it's a dark black background with a blue scratch effect - you CAN tell my glasses are on! There's another kind of Andy Warhol - ish at the very end that's SmallBoy & me. The rest are the kids with each other, and then the kids & PC. MUCH fun was had with this! Mom, we're stealing your laptop!

The Day After

Did you get up and shop at the crack of dawn? I sure didn't. We stayed at Meem & FIL's last night until very late and got home around midnight. Was way too tired this morning to get up and go deal with throngs of people on a mission to get the new playstation or whatever the new game is, and really didn't feel like fighting my way through the parents trying to get the last new Elmo. I slept. I slept off my dinner. We PIGGED last night and it was so fabulous. Here are just a few pics of what we had, mostly prepared by ET (check out his catering site):




After dinner we played charades while we let our food digest in preparation for the dessert/birthday pie. We split up the family and had a blast. Girl played with Meem, MH and GA, and I think Snat came in and eventually joined them. Our team was PC, ET, Princess, SmallBoy, me, and eventually FIL popped in to help SmallBoy out with a clue.



(MH asking "Why are you playing? The dishes aren't done yet?" - they were, we knocked 'em out right after dinner)



We really had a blast. After charades, we had birthday/pumpkin pie and played Apples to Apples ( I HIGHLY recommend that game. It's hysterical and they even make a Jr. version).

This morning, no, I didn't go shopping. Girl had to be at basketball practice at noon, so I stayed in bed til 11:something-or-other, straightened my hair enough to pull back into something resembling a ponytail, dropped her off at the gym, and then went and worked my ass off at Curves.

We were going to put up the Christmas decorations today, at least the outside ones since it's almost 60degrees today (TOTALLY RARE), but opted not to. Girl is over at Snood's, LargeBoy is out with friends, and SmallBoy is going to GR's for a sleepover tonight. PC and I will, kinda sorta have some alone time. So, I got part of one of my birthday wishes - SOME time alone with my husband AND we didn't hear the smoking lecture at ALL last night.

Hope you all have enjoy the rest of your long weekend!

What a Wonderful Resource YOU Are!

I promised you a post on Parent-Teacher conferences. They were pretty much what I expected except that SmallBoy has had a much more difficult time holding it together. He's having angry outbursts in class, he's melting much more frequently and reacting poorly when someone asks him what's wrong. Academically, he's doing fine. I've been doing some work with him at home, work that we do at my job (a program I HIGHLY recommend for those with decoding and/or symbol imagery and/or comprehension weaknesses) and his last reading test was beautiful. It was mainly comprehension and he scored a 97%! I must be doing something right with that.

He's having difficulty, however, doing more than the absolute bare minimum of an assignment and becoming extremely agitated if asked to put in more effort. I know that when PC, Meem, Mom (GR) & I went to the conference with Dr. Baker, he had some suggestions on this, so I'll have to look at my notes. One example, when, PC and I first noticed his resistance to doing the whole assignment was when the class had to bring in an article from the newspaper about the mid-term elections, and talk about it to the class. He and I went through the paper and looked for something shorter and something with a bit of a different twist than what we thought the rest of the class might bring in. We found a short article about how, despite the new voting "technology", there were still entirely too many glitches. Obviously, an article written in the Chicago Tribune about an election is going to require some "translation," which I did. SmallBoy, however, took that as a substitute for reading the article. He did NOT wish to read it at all. It got so ugly that I, Ms Calm Cool & Collected, told him, "Fine. If you don't wish to read it, then you will have to take the consequences when Mrs. M asks you to explain it to the class."

So, anyway, we chatted about that at conferences and Mrs. M asked us for more ideas on how to help him out of a meltdown, how to help keep him focused, how to keep the outbursts at a minimum. These have really been reaching a peak over the last few weeks and we haven't noticed them, at home, anyway, until early last week. This morning I emailed the teachers. Oh - I forgot, the other 4th grade teacher asked PC & I if we can come in and present SmallBoy's Book to HER class (Marti...WOW!). We're SO excited. Here's what I wrote to the teachers:

Good Morning Ladies -

After speaking with you both at conferences on Thursday, we proceeded to SmallBoy's occupational therapy and spoke with his OT for suggestions. She suggested that perhaps a system of reward motivators that can be carried over to home so that his rewards stay consistent and come, ultimately, from my husband and myself. You could simply use a corner of the chalkboard and make a mark of some sort, without putting his name on it, or he could keep a card on his desk to keep track. That way, he's not receiving any extra special attention/rewards that the rest of the class is not. What he earns that day could be communicated home.

The system we use at home is a star system. The number of stars he receives is equivalent to the task he performs or the task & the lack of complaining. Additionally, he will receive stars for pulling himself out of a meltdown, if he does something without being asked, if he goes out of his way to help someone, if he demonstrates superb behavior, etc.

He uses these stars in exchange for video game/computer time with each star equivalent to 5 minutes.

To help make this system transfer from school to home, and vice versa, I've taken a cue from some fellow parents with children on the spectrum. They send a notebook back and forth to school each day to create a constant communication between the parents and the teacher. For example, if SmallBoy had a great day, but melted at one point over something, you could let me know. If he had a difficult time on his homework, or had a really rough morning, I could let you know. Even better, if he had a fantastic day, or was ready to melt over something and found a way to pull himself out.... We could also communicate about the stars he had earned that day.

Another suggestion his OT had was as far as keeping him focused or bringing his engine back down to a regulated level. What she has found works for him is giving him a sour candy. This works with homework, too. I expressed to her that candy in the classroom probably was not a huge possibility, but she mentioned to me how brilliant teachers are at subtlety and that simply walking past his desk and dropping a few near him (we would be happy to supply the stash), or if he could keep some in his desk and you could cue him when you notice he needs one, "SmallBoy, what can you use to bring your engine down?" or "SmallBoy, where's your engine right now?" (something like that).

After thinking more on what a hard time he's been having lately, we realized that our multiple schedules (Cub Scouts, OT, Girl's non-stop sports, meetings, work, etc...) have finally all collided creating many nights in a row when none of us are home together for any length of time. Additionally, our dog has been growing increasingly sicker and will, in all likelihood, be put down this week, on which he's been dwelling, plus, the "off" schedule of the last week has thrown him quite a bit. We were hoping that this week would be a bit calmer, since next week is going to be a shortened week for him, too, but it's even more crazy than the last few. We've made a visual calendar of just this week, though, so that he can see what activities are going on, and for whom, and on what days. I'm hopeful that will assist in his anxiety, especially now that the rest of us have a visual and can plan some quiet SmallBoy time accordingly.

Let me know what you think about these suggestions.

Ms. R - Looking at my schedule, I am unable to get away from the office until the first week of December, as my boss is out of town at a conference this week, and then on vacation for 2wks. However, if we can schedule the 6th or 7th of December. Also, I can check with my husband for his availability and perhaps he can come in and present sooner. As in Mrs. M's class, I know that SmallBoy would appreciate being a part of the presentation, so I would like to also coordinate with Mrs. M a time when we could "borrow" SmallBoy.

Thank you so much for taking the time to spend "learning" SmallBoy, and for working so closely with us. We appreciate the fact that he has such caring teachers, and a compassionate atmosphere in which to learn and grow. Again, let me know your opinions on the suggestions and if you have any others.

Sincerely,
MG & PC

I would LOVE any other brilliant ideas or suggestions that any of YOU may have. You see where I already swiped the Communication Notebook (why haven't I been doing that all along? DUH!). You, my blog family, have been such an incredible fountain of knowledge & wisdom, and one of the many things for which I am truly thankful!

A Little Too Close for Comfort

As I'm sitting and relaxing with my family, after a long few days of cleaning and cooking for the pentultimate family event, it just dawned on me that it was 10:55pm and that I hadn't posted today. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! It was a LONG day, filled with church, family, food, and squirrels...Lord had I the time to tell you everything, but I don't, so I'll just give you snippets.

The long day really started over the when we embarked on the project of getting the house "ready" for the party on Friday. I've felt like shit for about 4 or 5 days, so I haven't been assisting much in the preparatinon stage of the event...granted, I planned, invited, made lists, assigned foods, etc..., but the actual physical cleaning and getting ready, I've sat on my ass. I still can't reach the top of my inhale. I'm still convinced that its part cold and part anxiety over my finances.

Today, though, we had the big giganto party. The Expando-Family was invited starting at 2pm. This party was not just for my children, but any one on my side of the family with a birthday in the last quarter of the year...and in my family, every quarter is FULL of birthdays! But wait...there's more! PC, ET, & I stayed up very late last night. We were ripping up carpet, cleaning, and preparing food. Just as we were getting ready to present our boarding passes for our seats on the slumber flight, we were all rudely awakened from our bliss by a Princess displaying the international sign for choking. Thank God for her fast acting and quick thinking, and amazingly calm father. He realized that she was choking (on a large Lemon Head) and gave her the Heimlich maneuver as soon as he figured out what was going on. Needless to say, we were all on a bit of an adrenaline high after that. There was no way we could go to bed at that point, especially after being scared out of our wits! Thankfully, our sweet little girl was ok and I made it a point to offer up thanks at church this morning that I don't normally offer up.

Speaking of church, it was SmallBoy's first time singing with the youth choir. I can't begin to explain to you the pride, but all of you, I'm certain, know what I'm talking about. But to be watching your ASD child, completely apart from you, in an environment where he is forced to hold it together, where he MUST follow the music and the director and the format for the mass...it was truly incredible. I had to fight to keep the tears from rolling down my face. Yes, I was extremely proud, just like any other parent there, but unlike any of the other parents, I had an additional element of "WOW", as well as pride. He did SO great!

Came home, had lots of family over, lots of food, we're all ready to explode, had a wonderful time. Girl & SmallBoy are in bed, LargeBoy is in the shower, PC & ET are on the couch "watching" TV and I'm here....

Oh..........Yes, you want to know about the squirrel! Well...now THIS is a funny one. In the middle of the party, the phone rang and it was my FIL, he hadn't been able to attend the party, so we just thought he was calling to check in. Turns out, he was calling to tell us that there was a squirrel loose in the house, running around, knocking over precious glasses, lamps, etc....HOLY ACORNS, BATMAN! PC, ET, and I thought that perhaps, if FIL really wanted the squirrel to give up that he should corner it and give it a lecture of his choosing. Then again, we also created, in our imaginations, the picture of my FIL giving up the chase and being reclined on the sofa watching the game while Mr. Squirrel sat on HIS big comfy leather chair. Teee Heee....

Well kids, I've got a few more good posts up my sleeves for this week, but the alarm will be going off entirely too soon in the morning. I'd best get my boys situated and to bed. Nighty Night!

What I Want for My Birthday

No, not Yoda...LOL. Last year, I had this wonderful list of things I wanted for my birthday. I got my autism awareness bracelet from my MIL, I got my pumpkin pie for my birthday cake (of course, I ALWAYS do, my bday is always around Thanksgiving), and I had the love of my family which, above all, is the ONLY thing that I could ever ask for my birthday. This year, I want my pumpkin pie cake (birthday is ON Thanksgiving this year), I know I'll have the love of my family, but there's something more. Something SO much more. Something HUGE. Something that will involve MIRACLES - and big ones, at that!

I want THIS:



I can't begin to tell you how much I want this. My current house is warm and fuzzy and loving, but it has turned into a rehabber's wet dream and involves so much more than I can put into it. Not to mention that between interest rates and a couple of late payments, my monthly mortgage has DOUBLED. I live on a postage stamp and am paying property taxes almost equivalent to the ones on this house which, by the way, sits on between 1/4 - 1/2 acre. We have a wonderful home, but with the kids getting bigger, it is getting entirely too small.

I'd love to stay in the town where we live for another 15-30 years, but it's just too damn expensive. I want my kids to graduate from the high school in our town, but it's unrealistic. I don't want them to have to make new friends, I LOVE their friends, I've watched them grow up, I know their character, and I know their parents. The thought of learning a whole new set of kids and gaining 10-16yrs of knowledge about them and their families in an incredibly short time frightens me. Putting SmallBoy into a new environment that may or may not be willing to work with the Asperger's frightens me. These things are becoming necessary, though.

I suppose the best way to overcome the fears is to just jump in and do it, make it a point to meet the people and the kids and the families. I should make it a point to contact the schools, talk to them about SmallBoy before we even consider making the big move and feel them out, see how they'll work with him, how much they know about Asperger's and perhaps educate them if moving is the route we take.

Girl and LargeBoy will be resilient. They'll adapt and make new friends easily. I moved a LOT when I was a child, just never DURING high school. Of course, I'll see if I can arrange it so they can finish out the shool year where they are, especially so Girl can graduate 8th grade with the kids she has gone to school with since PK-4. LargeBoy will be fine. It's really SmallBoy that I'm worried about. Perhaps I can arrange it so he can stay in his current school for 4 more years...it's a private school, so it shouldn't matter, right? The family has a legacy at that school.

Anyway, financially, selling our home and buying a new one would be a very sound investment, AND the best thing for our family. This particular home, as well as others I've looked at on the internet, is in a town south of where I live now, much farther from the bright lights of Chicago, but not too far. My cousin and her husband and 2 sons also live there. I know that she wouldn't live somewhere "icky," nor would she send her children to schools that are less than wonderful. Oh decisions, decisions.

Here's another room:



I SO wish this was my furniture. The picture does it absolutely NO justice. The room is huge, the windows open to a wrap around porch....Come to think of it, NONE of these pictures do the house justice. PC and I looked at the virtual tour and just about passed out. It's out of our price range, in theory, or at least out of the realistic price range. Of course, right now, everything is out of our price range. However, out of the price range is better than living in a house that could potentially go boom (note: not KA-boom - as in explosion, just boom - as in fall down go boom).

Our house, from the moment I bought it, required work. The insurance company required that I get new siding installed - oh, that was fun - I think it was something with two digits, and three zeros ( I just can't remember the two digits), then, my dearest mother replaced the windows on the first floor, the basement, and had a security door installed on the side door. THEN, our water heater debaucle happened (sorry, can't find the post to link), and mom sprung for a new one of those. No, my mother is not a money tree, which is why all of these may have been my alotted miracles already.

It still requires work...it needs a MAJOR overhaul of the electricity. We don't even USE the electricity in the basement because it's SO messed up...We've been trying to get an electrician in there for a while, but the phone tag has gotten so insane. We'd call someone else, but this guy comes referred by my in-laws and has a great reputation. The house is still on fuses, the outlets are minimal...our bedrom has 4 plugs - on one outlet, all on one side of the room.

But look at THIS...



...can you imagine? This is an OLD house, but with all of the upgrades (wait til I show you the kitchen), there HAD to be an upgrade in the electric...ok, ok,



...here's the kitchen. And again, no justice done AT ALL...this kitchen is HUGE, new appliances, the stove top on that island-y part of the counter....I'm drooling (see, MAJOR miracles needed here, not just financially either). Want another room?

Ok, here you go...again, if only this was MY furniture! Double door closet! And this is merely the MASTER bedroom. This place has 4Bed and a finished basement. So far, the ONLY downfall that I see (aside from the price), is the fact that it only has 1 bathroom...for all of us, that creates a problem, but NOT an impossibility...it's been done before, we've just gotten used to 2 bathrooms now, and we're spoiled. Speaking of bathrooms



... check this beauty out! Sure, there may only be one bathroom, but DAMN...look at it!

This truly is a dream home. I would LOVE to have it. There are so many details to work out, though. If through a miracle (of epic proportions, mind you) provided by the Angels of Finance, we were able to purchase this home, we'd still have to tend to so many other issues....making ours saleable, although a rehabber would probably snarf it up in a heartbeat - it really is a rehabber's wet dream (too bad I couldn't list it as such), selling it, fenagling deals with the schools, dealing with Ex, who is certain to have a coniption - even though he's planning to move equally as far north when his step-daugther graduates from high school in 4yrs, and, well, that's it, I suppose. Doesn't sound like too much, but LORD it would be. No sense worrying about it though, until we know if it is even an option.

At least it will give me something to write about every day this month....

Signs of Life

Hi all! I am, indeed, still alive. I've been terribly busy and just haven't had the time or the motivation to write lately.

Way back on the 11th, Meem, GR, PC & I had the opportunity to attend a lecture given by Dr. Jed Baker on Social Skills and Frustration Management in Children on the Spectrum, most specificially Asperger's. I was hoping to have been the good little student and have translated and shared all of my notes with you by now. Well, I didn't. Oops. However, I must say that, as a result, we've taken a couple of Dr. Baker's ideas and made them work for us. We now use our dry erase board to help our Not-So-Smallboy keep track of the STARS that he earns. He can earn stars by helping us out with a chore, by doing a chore, by avoiding a meltdown, by remembering all of the necessary materials for his homework, by finding a solution to a problem he's having, by getting ready for school on time, etc.... Each star is worth 5 minutes of computer or video game time (see how I killed two birds with one stone?)

So, on the board we have his stars, we let him draw and erase them. We also keep a "bank log" so that he sees #Stars = x, Time = y, so that he can easily determine how much he has available. The challenges that we've found with this system really involve his accountability once he gets ON the games: "So, SmallBoy, how long have you been playing Star Wars?"

"10 minutes."

This is when LargeBoy or Girl interject with, "Um, I don't think so. It's been more like 1/2 an hour."

Our solution was to have SmallBoy "log in" on the dry erase board when he began using his stars. Ideally, that would give HIM the visual when he argued how long he had been online or playing games on the Xbox. We would be able to say,

"SmallBoy, you logged in at 4:40. It's now 5:10. You've been playing for 30minutes. That's 6 stars."

"But...but...but...it only felt like 2 stars!"

Then we can show him the clock. He doesn't like that the time flies so quickly, but he understands better when he sees the visual. Then he reluctantly erases his stars. The BEST part, though, is that he has a constant goal. He ALWAYS wants more time, so, more often than not, he's willing to do something to earn stars. I have found that this is an extremely helpful tool when trying to get him to pull out of a meltdown...or to avoid one.

Girl made her confirmation this past Saturday. If you're familiar with the Catholic church, you know that this is one of THE LONGEST services...regular mass, but with all of the confirmands (in this case I believe there were about 60 or so) receiving the sacrament after the homily. Then everyone still has to go up for Communion. Realistically, this is about a 2hour mass. Currently, our gorgeous church is undergoing some major renovations. The confirmands were graced with the Holy Scaffolding around the altar for decorations and, in the true Catholic tradition of patience, penitence, & guilt, we were sitting on metal folding chairs because all fo the pews were being replaced. You can imagine what kinds of ASD triggers these are going to be....long mass, more-uncomfortable-than-normal seating, crowded church so no one can see, big ugly scaffolding, and a LOT of stuff going on.

So, we prepped our Not-So-SmallBoy. He didn't want to go - and anyone can understand. I mean, church, to children, is boring as a rule and he knew he was going to be sitting through a long one. So, we put the carrot in front of the proverbial horse and dangled the Stars! I offered him stars for making it through the mass (he wasn't sitting with me as I was a sponsor for S, Girl's best friend), and then we offered him stars for making it through the dinner afterwards (with Ex, New Wife, GR, Meem, Poppy, S's family in a VERY crowded and VERY LOUD restaurant - he was amazing), and then because he did SO well, PC tacked on another bonus star.

See where I'm going with this? We've found something that works for us. We also found a new trick. You know how when our darling ASD-ers get so frustrated that they "yell" back at us in response to something we say? Dr. Baker used the example of saying, "Are you yelling at me?" or "Are you raising your voice at me?" Yes, the kids are frustrated, but this helps them check HOW they're using their voices. I've only remembered to use it with SmallBoy a couple of times, but it's proven effective, as he realizes that he is, in fact, talking to us in a manner that he doesn't like and that it's because he's frustrated. That, then, helped him to realize what the problem was and voice it appropriately.

There were so many wonderful aspects of this day with Dr. Baker and I promise I will, ultimately, get all of the notes translated for you. In the meantime, I hope that my two big "breakthroughs" can be of use to YOU! I'll post some pics from Girl's confirmation soon (she looked so beautiful - and she took my Grandmother's name as her confirmation name).

Baking With the Not-So-SmallBoy

Forgive my lack of pics, I'll post those from home after my date with my husband. He started a new job that has him working an enormous amount of hours and I haven't seen much of him lately. Tonight we're going out for a nice romantic Italian dinner - WITHOUT THE KIDS!

This weekend, with PC working and Girl & LargeBoy with Ex (of course SmallBoy was with me), I had the pleasure of having my SmallBoy -oops Not-So-SmallBoy - all to myself, and he had me. It was something we haven't done in a LONG time and, I must say, it was wonderful. We did lots of things, I let him play his video game and explain every step to me, we were bad and ate Fat Sandwiches (Peanut Butter & bacon on toast) in front of the TV, and then had a Spongebob marathon....and that was just Friday night!

Saturday we called GR and asked her to come over and bake with us. Baking is so good for him. He learns to measure, learns to follow directions, works on his muscle tone by mixing, and, all the while, learns to cook! We baked two loaves of white bread and a batch of peanut butter muffins. Don't worry, I'll post the pics....we are entirely too proud of our Beautiful Golden Goodness to NOT share the photos with you, heck one of the pics became our desktop on the laptop at home!

Meem had ordered a body sock for SmallBoy for his birthday and it arrived in time for him to try it out this weekend. He LOVES it! He very much enjoys the sensory input that he gets from it, but what he really enjoys is walking around the house in it thinking he's a big Hug-Monster out to hug us all! Personally, I think he looks like a big blue Gumby. He used to sleep in his sensory tunnel at night - that made such an incredible difference in his sleeping..he slept longer and sounder. Now he sleeps inside his sock inside his tunnel.

My 10y/o Not-So-SmallBoy is doing beautifully. I'm so proud of him. He is one of my heroes! Oh, remind me to share with you a couple of pics from OT last night...see this is the prob with posting from work and forgetting to forward the pics to my office. Hmm!

Pics from the Big 1-0 (and I'm Home Alone & SO Bad)

This is how I found my Not-So-SmallBoy yesterday morning - extremely excited about turning 10, you see....well, he WAS still asleep. He LOVES to sleep in his sensory tunnel with his covers pulled over his head. I have MANY more pictures to share with you from his big day, but I saw what a giant bite (or byte, if you will) the last monster picture post took out of my blog, so I'll only post a few. At the moment, I am HOME ALONE!!!!!! I don't think this has happened in, wow, well over a year. PC is working tonight and the kids are with Ex for a birthday dinner for SmallBoy - yeah, I know - shocked? I think he's trying to put up a front. He picked them up at 4:30 and it's almost 6, so they should be home soon. Anyway, while I have time alone, I'm being incredibly bad and eating terribly: Overly buttered noodles, lightly dusted with garlic & parmesan. Oh, who am I kidding, there's enough garlic in there to kill every vampire in Transylvania! Wait...it gets better...I'm eating while using the computer AND I'm eating it out of the pan I cooked it in!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to have one hell of a stomach ache later, though. Ok, more pics!

Yesterday was my FIL's birthday also, so we went by Meem's & Poppy's to celebrate. We had pizza for dinner, since it is one of SmallBoy's absolute favorites and red velvet cake for dessert...Sal, I couldn't help but think of you! The red velvet cupcakes he took to school gave me quite a scare that night, though, when in the middle of dinner at Meem's, SmallBoy was screaming in the bathroom. He had gone in with a stomache ache, so I tore off like a bat out of hell to see what was wrong. He was complaining about the pain, said he made LOTS of #2, so I did the mom thing and took a peek to check the consistency (I know, TMI). My heart dropped to my stomach when I looked into the toilet to see blood red water staring right back at me. I returned to my senses (slightly) when I realized, DUH, that it was the dye from the cupcakes. Here's my Not-S0-SmallBoy showing off his rollerblades. He really was excited, though he moved them so fast through my attempt at capturing the moment, that when I asked him to do it again, he got a little pissed off. Oh well. He LOVES rollerblading! Thanks, GR!

OOOEEEWWWHHH - tummy's starting to hurt, perhaps I should stop eating these noodles. I think I will, but, I think I'll grab a beer to wash them down - I'm AWFUL, aren't I? And no, I haven't washed the pan yet! Hmm!

Here are SmallBoy & Poppy sharing the fun of blowing out their candles. My NSSB came home with some GREAT presents - a HUGE dinosaur puzzle, his roller blades, some really cool books, including one about wolves (he LOVES wolves), a fishing game (recommended by the fabulous OT, J), some clothes, a calendar that he can change & personalize each month with stickers and a dry erase marker (because things DO change), and a whole bunch of other great stuff - INCLUDING the still-to-be-delivered body sock that Meem & Poppy got for him. He was SO excited! What was really cool, though was his reaction to the gift from PC & me. After all of this cool stuff, I wasn't expecting much more than an "oh, gee, thanks," for our gift. We all know how HUGE it is for a child on the spectrum to make, and maintain, friendships. SmallBoy has some really key friends and a couple of them happened to be at the concert in the park that Code West put on last month. Girl and S got all the boys to line up on the stairs to the stage and took a pic. So, we had it framed and gave that to him (another ordeal, if I haven't already written about it, perhaps I'll tell you another time). His face LIT up. What I read in that face and the gigantic thank you and hug that followed, was that THIS was a gift that he would value and treasure forever. It wasn't something he would outgrow like clothes or outgrow and not want to play with like toys and games. It was a memory and a reminder that he has good friends. It will always be there for him when he's having a "nobody likes me" moment. It will make him happy. When I got home from work, the bag of gifts that we brought home was still sitting on the landing, waiting to be taken upstairs. LargeBoy said to me, "Mom, you should be very happy - yours is the only gift that made it out of the bag and into his room," and it's sitting on his desk, next to his bed, right next to the pic of him and our first dog. That made me feel so good.

I really wanted to show you a GREAT poster that Girl made for him, but it's got his name on it - something I'd rather didn't go on the blog (not like it matters, his pic is all over the place, but it would TOTALLY throw the whole pseudonym stuff for a loop. Before we left to go home, SmallBoy put together his fishing game. In OT, J used it to help with eye hand coordination and fine motor skills. I gotta tell ya...it's not an easy game. The object is to catch as many of your color fish (if your playing with more than one player). The game is motorized, going around in a circle. The fish, in turn, open their mouths for about 1 second. In that second, you have to try and "hook" the with this plastic fishing pole. It ain't easy. I found myself trying to time the opening of the mouths...LOL Here are SmallBoy and Meem's cat, Meatball...who do you think wants to catch the most fish?

Well...it's almost 6:30 and Ex hasn't brought the kids home yet. My tummy is very happy and full from my noodley badness, and my beer is still cold, and relatively full, since I've been typing away. I should probably go and wash my dishes so I feel like I accomplished SOMETHING in my time alone.

Ladies & Gentlemen, Not-So-Smallboy (or NSSB)!

Playing the battery game this morning, I don't have the pic posted yet, but I will this evening.

My baby, my youngest, my last little one has now hit double digits. Such milestones this year. LargeBoy is learning to drive, Girl is in 8th grade, and my SmallBoy has become a Not-So-SmallBoy. I'm teetering on the emotional fence somewhere between elation and sadness, not knowing whether to let out a big "WOO-HOO!" because I'm closer to my "freedom," or a big "BOO-HOO!" because my babies are all growing up.

Not-So-SmallBoy was elated when he woke up this morning, but letting go of 9 was not easy for him. He was afraid that there would be too many changes, that as soon as he woke up in the morning he would be different from when he went to bed. There were frets & worries, sadness, anxiety, and just general sniffles.

"Of course", I assured him, "you will be the same boy when you wake up, the ONLY thing that will be different is that you can now proudly hold up two whole hands when people ask how old you are."

I think he's excited again, and ready to take on the world. He's eating up this independence thing and I see that it's beginning to do a world of good for him. I know that he'll enjoy being 10 just as much as he enjoyed being 9. There will be a lot of changes this year, but nothing more than any other year. Things WILL change with the way he feels about himself. Things WILL change with the amount of responsibility & independence he receives. Things WILL change with the way he interacts with those around him. Things WILL change with his father - I will see to that. Things WILL change with the way he feels towards others. Yes, my Love, things will change, but the change isn't a bad thing or anything to be feared.

My SmallBoy is now a Not-So-SmallBoy. He took red velvet cake cupcakes to school today, and we're having pizza and red velvet birthday cake tonight at Meem's & Poppy's (it's Poppy's bday also). He will be surrounded by those who love him. Girl made him THE birthday sign for this morning (I'll post a pic when I do the battery juggle tonight). When we lived in our old house, we would always take a big sheet of paper or wrapping paper and make birthday signs for the kids, decorate them, sign them, and post them on the back door. When we moved into the new house, we stopped doing this...not for any particular reason. We decided that THIS was definitely the time to resurrect this tradition, especially for such a big birthday for such a wonderful kid.

I don't have a birthday present for him. In my moment of dorkness, I made a HUGE error. Here's what happened. When our band played at one of the local parks, Not-S0-SmallBoy's (NSSB's) friends were there, and we got a GREAT pic of them together. I uploaded it to kodak gallery, ordered it in a great boy-ish frame and had it 2day shipped so I'd definitely have it in time. I should have had it Thursday, but was so wrapped up the week's craziness that I didn't realize I was missing it. I checked the FedEx site on Friday and it said it had been delivered at 11:09am, left on the porch (because I had waived the signature requirement since I KNEW I wouldn't be home, and didn't have it sent to work for some reason). I scoured the house, asked the kids if they had brought it in. Nope. Nothing. Checked FedEx's site again. After looking a little more closely I discovered it had been delivered at 11:09 the day before! At this point I was getting upset. So I looked at my confirmation from the kodak site....THIS is when I noticed my error. I ordered it from work and was having it shipped home. Yep. You guessed it. I had it shipped to my house number on the street that my office is on. JUMPED in the car and went to that house. Of course no one had seen it. WHY would someone want it? For the frame, maybe? Anyway, I called FedEx and left them a mssg that if someone should return it to please deliver it to a different address. I ordered a new pic from Walgreen's, had LargeBoy & PC pick it up, and Mom found a frame at Target. It will be fine, but ...UGH... it's not what I had done. Oh well, all is not lost. Now I just have to find time (and some cash) to get a bday present for my FIL (yeah, we sort of slacked on that). PC has to work late and has the bank card, and I have to use the cash in my wallet to get gas! YIKES. It'll all work out, though...always does.

I'll get pics posted ASAP. In the meantime, wish my Not-So-SmallBoy a VERY VERY VERY Happy 10th Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!