Thursday, April 28, 2005

"Take Your Child to Work" Day

Today is National Take Your Child To Work Day. All but one school in my town - the one my children attend - are closed to give kids the opportunity to go work with their parents. My children are not at work with me for various reasons:

1). Even on National Take Your Child To Work Day, and even though there are children flooding through my office, it is against company policy to bring your children to this company unless they are under the age of infant. The irony of this is that I would LOVE for SmallBoy to see what goes on here, as he may, one day need the services offered here if his Asperger's Syndrome ever begins to cause a learning disability.

2). I love my children, truly, I do. My work, however, as insane and crazy and headache causing as it is, is my time. It is my time when I don't have to ask them to do homework or clean their rooms. It is my time to not be worrying about what the next meal is going to be or what last minute paper is due tomorrow that hasn't been started yet. It is my time to be sitting down instead of playing sports shuttle.

Do not misunderstand; I love my children and wish that I could spend 1000x more time with them than I am able, but this is just not the place. Now here is where the Mommy Guilt REALLY kicks in. Tuesday afternoon, SmallBoy informed me that Thursday was Take Your Child to Work Day, hoping and praying that I would take him with me. It was breaking my heart from the moment he opened his mouth. I could just feel it ripping in two gigantic pieces. Imagine the angst I felt when I told him that he couldn't come. He was so upset. He was all excited to come and see where Mommy works, what I do all day while he's at school. In his mind, there should be no reason why he couldn't be here...he was able to come to my last place of employment. Heck, when he had mono, they insisted I bring him in because they couldn't be without me for 2 weeks. But, I digress...He was upset. He was hurt. I feel awful because I was not able to do what he wanted, but at the same time, I feel awful that it's easier for me to NOT have the kids here. I'm torn between hating my company policy and rejoicing in it.

Oh good grief. What's a mommy to do?


Mom said...

Fortunately, or unfortunately maybe for you, it seemed like we had a lot of "Take Your Child to Work" days when you and Nic were little. Mostly out of necessity - sick, days off, etc. Sammy would certainly benefit from seeing your office and how things work - probably the most difficult for him was that it was not allowed. You do such a good job of involving him in so many helpful things for him that I'm sure he won't hang on to the difficult for too long. Love you!

mommyguilt said...

thanx mama

Apryl said...

As working moms we have enough guilt - I know all to well how you feel.. Dont beat your self up for wanting some you time! even if (as sad as it is) that time is work time!

mommyguilt said...

Thanks Apryl! It's always good to hear from other moms. My mother and husband tell me on a regular basis, as do my older children, but you's a mom thing!

Thanks for reading!