Monday, February 27, 2006

The Post-Mortem

I know a few of you have been waiting patiently for this follow up post. I cannot even begin to tell you how quickly my stomach stopped hurting once we got through this evening. Must be stress, as I suspected. So , no, Ex and New Wife and New Baby did NOT come to OT - gee, we saw that coming. He did, however, come to Girl's volleyball game tonight (15mins after OT ended...hmmmmmm, WE got to both). We all arrived at the gym at the same time...THAT was fun. As we're walking to the gym doors, he said to me, and this is a direct quote,

So, how was the boy's appointment?

I couldn't believe it. It was almost as though I was dealing with Homer Simpson. He's not "the boy," I wanted to scream. "He's YOUR SON!" Thank God PC was there. He gripped my arm so I didn't turn around and belt him since he had his step-daughter with him. Even I wouldn't stoop that low. I just turned, told him that it went well - we worked on balance, posture, and breathing. Then I turned and asked New Step-Daughter how her shoulder injury was (class ski trip). I was good, didn't yell and scream, but let it ride. I WILL kick his ass though. GOD I'm pissed. I really really wanted to deck him, though (if you missed it, check out the previous post).

Girl was phenomenal tonight, though...well, after her first round of setting the ball with her face and hitting the ball into the net on a spike. She really is good, though. She is just as good at volleyball as she is at basketball and softball, she was just having a goofy night. She's got a KILLER serve - if you get in the way of the ball, you WILL bruise. Unfortunately, she's got SO much power, but not a lot of control in keeping it in bounds. Fortunately, though, most of the opponents don't know that and try to hit the balls back. She had one game last year that she served aces 11 times in a row. Nah, I'm not bragging, not at all.

But here is my lovey. He's fantastic. I love all of my children with everything that I have within me. I could never love one any more than another. But SmallBoy is my lovey. How could you deny THIS cute happy face?????????????


Roni said...

I'm so sorry...some men are not meant to be daddies...just sperm donors.


mommyguilt said...

Thanks, Roni. That means a great deal to me!

Astryngia said...

Love the photo - and he looks so much like my own son - SUCH a huge wide open smile - small-boned, too I think. :-)

I do find that my son is much less phased by things I think will hurt his feelings - he's much more bothered by things I wouldn't have thought much about. So, I dunno,'s possible, just possible, he may not have been upset by his dad's statement and may even wonder why you are upset about it...??? I'd be interested to learn how he felt once he's had time to digest it.

Cheryl said...

Congratulations! Talk about grace under fire...

Phew. he showed himself up and gave you a chance to get beyond the shock and pick your moment.

Just a suggestion - keep a diary?
Just a little notebook against visits the keep the dates of exactly when SmallBoy reports these things, in case your head fluffs out when its time to say your piece and you forget the order.

Astryngia said...

PS This is a woman who no longer has any self-control at all! I suspect I'd have slugged him.

mommyguilt said...

Thanks Ladies. Actually, I have kept a journal since prior to my divorce from him, and kept it up when it came to the kids. Sometimes I'll even cut & paste (and modify to add names and cut nasty nasty words) my blog entries to use them as journal entries.

Self control - nah, just not wanting to make a scene.

Felicity said...

I'm beyond impressed by your self-control. I'm really, really good at making scenes. "the boy", huh? On one hand it would be sooo easy to cream this guy, since he sounds like he's absolutely STUPID, but on the other hand, is it even worth risking your karma for that? What a cretin.
I think I love my kids differently...I'm very mushy about my son but my dd and I have a long history.
Anyhow...great photo of Smallboy.

mommyguilt said...

Yes, karma, not wanting to embarrass my children, call it what you will..but I think my kids would be moritified if I was banned from attending anymore of their events because I gave their father a good swift kick in the pants...well, you know what I mean

Kristina Chew said...

In the words of Charlie's teachers, what a lovely boy!

And a lovely mom. No guilt ever!

This may sound off, but is there any possibility that Ex may be kind of on the spectrum in regard to his very lacking social skills? Just a thought.

mommyguilt said...

Oh you SO know your stuff. My suspicions, from the years that I've known his father, been married to and divorced from his father, and now, knowing what I know about the spectrum, I do suspect that there are some MAJOR spectrum qualities with dad..particularly processing, social, etc.

And thanks for the compliment. I adore my smallboy!

Laura said...

He is such a sweetie. What a smile. And good for you with the grace under pressure. I would have certainly at the very least made a sarcastic comment. You are a great example for your kids.

Also, go Girl! We redheads will rule the world someday, I am certain!

kyra said...

grrrrrrrrr! i can barely contain my RAGE at your ex!!! it's so infuriating and profoundly sad to me that he is so unable? unwilling? to be the grown up here, to extend understanding, love, goodwill, patience, wisdom, and take the time to educate himself so he may better parent his child. and the only thing that calms me down is looking at that BEAUTIFUL son of yours! smallboy!!!!!!! such a joy!!