GO! Check THIS Out!

See that cool slide show down there...I did one for the band and replaced the old boring one that we had. Go to our myspace and check it out. And no, this is NOT today's post. Read yesterday's - It's heavy-ish, and I've got another one already in the works for today (yes, I'm VERY bored at work).

No Break til Next Year

My Not-So-SmallBoy is melting, PC & I are melting, Girl is melting. Today is insane, and the rest of the week, month, year is only getting worse as far as obligations overlapping one another...and sadly, nothing is able to be rescheduled or cancelled. Today, we woke up to a phone call from Snood to tell Girl that she was supposed to be at church altar serving 11:00 mass. This was at 10:40. Needless to say, she didn't get there on time.

SmallBoy's been totally off kilter the last couple of weeks, but more particularly, the last few days. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with school, because he's been having more meltdowns and angry outbursts there, or if those are the result of other things. It JUST dawned on me that, DUH, this week, alone, has been crazy. They had 1/2days of school on W & Th due to conferences, Friday off for Veteran's day. That's enough to throw him, hell, look at what just having Friday off did to me. To add to it, we're putting our dog down sometime this week, she's barely able to walk and has been chewing herself bloody for a while now. We've had her in a victorian collar, and she, like SmallBoy, has no spatial awareness whatsoever, so she's running into things, trashing the cone, hurting herself. It's sad, but she's old. However, I'm wondering if THAT, too, is weighing on him.

Our schedule's have been SO insane lately, that we haven't had much one-on-one time with SmallBoy and, when we do, he's so wound up from holding it together that he just comes apart then. Last night, after dinner with K&J, he invited them to come over for a bit, which was a GREAT step for him. They came for about an hour, but then needed to get home. He just lost it. Cried his eyes out, "I don't want them to go home." Try as I might to reassure him that they had things they needed to do at home and that they would love to stay, but couldn't, he just bawled. After they left, we got him to calm down and played a game of dominoes with him. When he lost, after winning every time the day before, he got terribly upset and frustrated. He's been making such huge strides at accepting things like this, that I can only surmise that something else is going on which I have not yet been able to identify.

Today, we found out that in addition to the Cub Scout meeting this afternoon and the one on Saturday afternoon and the Scout outing to the hockey game on Sunday, there's also a big Pack meeting on Thursday night at which his Den has the opportunity to do the flag ceremony. The problem being that this directly conflicts with OT, which is every Thursday from 6:15 - 7:15. Scouts is at 7:00. The flag ceremony at 7:03. We WOULD just leave OT early this week except that he SO desperately needs every second of OT this week. He's totally distraught about this. We're talking about it and working on it, and I know he'll come around, but I just feel SO bad that I can't get "in" when he's this upset.

We looked at the rest of the week and it's awful as far as time and schedules. He's going to break and I'm worried for him. He needs some time to come out of this, some time when life's not turned every which way....even if it's not HIS schedule, he sees the constant coming and going of everyone else and I think that really really throws him. We were hoping that perhaps the week after would die down a bit. HA! Week after is Thanksgiving week...1/2 day on Wed, no school on Th or F, running around and holding it together on Thursday (my bday, I should have the kids but they want to go to the other family because that's "what they do" for Thanksgiving - long story, another post). PC and I realized that there IS no break to be found until January. UGH!

This week looks like this (and this is without factoring in the time we have to leave to drive to any of these destinations:

TODAY: 10:45 - Girl at church to altar serve 11:00 mass (she didn't make it), 11:45 - Girl Basketball practice, 1:00 - Girl softball practice (which she didn't make because she was still at basketball),
3:00 - SmallBoy & PC - Scouts, 4:45 - me at church to cantor 5:00 mass.

M: 7:00am Girl at school for a yearbook meeting. That's it. Nothing else.

T: 7:00 Parent meeting at school for Reconciliation preparation for SmallBoy, 7:30 - Girl at the gym for her 8:00 basketball game, 8:00 Girl's basketball game, 9:30-9:45 LEAVE for home.

W: 6:00 Girl softball practice, 7:30 Girl at gym 30minutes away for 8:00 game. 8:00 Girl Basketball game. 9:15 Leave for home.

Th: 6:15 - SmallBoy OT, 7:00 Cub Scout Meeting (the flag ceremony one), 8:00 Girl Game, 8:30 we get to game, 9:30- 9:45 Leave for home (SmallBoy in tow for this one). F: 7:30pm Girl at gym 30mins away for 8:00 game., 8:00 game (they have good snacks at this gym), 9:15 Leave for home.

Sat. Early AM take LargeBoy driving since there wasn't any time during the week, 1:30 Girl at gym 15minutes away for 2:00 game, 2:00 Girl - game, 2:00 SmallBoy Scouts, 6:30 pack up gear and set up for band's gig, 2am - leave for home.

Sun: 8:45 - me at church to cantor 9:00am mass, TBD - Girl at gym for basketball game(time depends on W or L from Sat's game), 1:00 - Girl softball practice, 4:00 Scout Hockey game.

I'm going to pass out now. Nope. No time. I have to go get dressed for church. It's 3:15 and I have to leave at about 4:30. I still look like death warmed over when I climbed out of bed. PC took the camera with him to the scout outing, so hopefully I'll have some pics for you tomorrow. This is good, though, that PC is going with SmallBoy today, without me. It gives them some good bonding time. Next Sat, I'll go while PC takes Girl to her game. Ok, gotta go put my contacts in and find some clean "churchy" clothes.

So, Really, it's Saturday?

Wow...having yesterday off of work really threw me for a loop. I keep thinking it' Sunday and that I'm forgetting to do something. Nope. Stayed up late last night and woke up thinking it was Sunday. Thankfully not, because I have so many things I have to do tomorrow, that the day will be gone as soon as I get out of bed. Today, though, is catching up with friends day.

I've been trying to get to all of YOU to catch up, but I've been fighting my family for computer time. If I don't get to you today, though, I'll there soon. I had to take Girl to basketball practice this morning, so while she was there, I worked on popped around the internet. Marti, thank you for your comment to yesterday's post. I relayed to SmallBoy what you said and put it in comparison to other kids on the spectrum and he was delighted that he is able to do something that is difficult for many others like him. It made him feel SO much better about himself.

I just hung up with my Girlfriend, with whom I haven't gotten much time to chat. We are both so busy now, that we see each other in passing more than anything. This is the Girlfriend who hopped in the handbasket with me on the ride through Hell and back again. This Girlfriend was the only person, outside of my mother and my sister (and now PC) to know my deepest darkest secret. We were always in touch before, commiserating, crying, propping the other up, hand holding, supporting our kids through it all. Now, we're both insanely busy (and crazy) moms. Our chances to talk are in the hall at parent-teacher conferences (remind me to post on that, k?), in the grocery store, or if we're at something involving our LargeBoys. It was SO nice to sit and chat for a few minutes today. We both have birthdays this month, so we're going to make it a point to get together for that. She told me that some of one of her clients is a school that works with kids on the spectrum and, that, just by learning what she has from me & SmallBoy, that she's been able to use that knowledge to better serve her clients. That was truly wonderful. This particular Girlfriend also falls into the categorization of PHENOMENAL mom (though she'll argue with me about that). I have to share with you one of her House Rules - and she had many and all of the kids that came through her house KNEW her rules. This one is my favorite, though, and now is used in my house when roughhousing gets a little out of control, "Mrs. Girlfriend is NOT going to the emergency room today!" Smoochies, Doll!

Continuing on the catching up with friends road, our friends K&J called us up and invited us, and the kids (they're slightly crazy and sadistic...tee hee hee) out to dinner tonight. We miss them TONS and they are two of our dearest friends. We only live a matter of blocks from each other, but getting all of our work schedules to allow us free time all at the same time is incredibly difficult. Since K left her job where I work for a new (and MUCH better paying) job, she's working funky hours. When we all do get together though, it's always a rip roaring good time. We are looking very forward to this. The best part about going out with these friends is that they get SmallBoy. They will not have any issues or notions about what going out to dinner is like with a child on the spectrum. To them, SmallBoy is just SmallBoy. I'm very excited about dinner. I'll start prepping SmallBoy in a bit. Right now he's on his way down to start his laundry - yes, he's doing his LAUNDRY- by HIMSELF!

Well, it's been nice catching up with you, but it's freezing in my kitchen and my Love is on his way upstairs for a nap. Think I'll go join him.

My Day Off

Today, in honor of Veteran's Day, my company - the one that is open on July 4th, but closed for every other holiday - was closed and I got to enjoy a day off with my family. Needless to say, my internal clock is all messed up thinking it's Saturday night. This morning, I woke up at 7:00, took a walk across the upstairs hall to the bathroom, went in to kiss SmallBoy and he, through his sleep, said to me, "Mom...there's no school or work today. Go back to bed," which I promptly did. And I stayed there until after 10....didn't fall back to sleep, but stayed in bed. Like this cute little pic from last weekend of SmallBoy & Princess?



PC & ET got moving and took LargeBoy out driving this morning before the weather turned yucky. LargeBoy got the experience of going from 60mph to 20mph in a few block span. He realized what a pain in the ass that is. As a reward, they took him to Nick's Burger's in Lemont for the best damn 1lb burgers on the planet (yes, 1 POUND). He ate ALL of his and was eyeballing what they were bringing home for me. No, I didn't go. I thought that having "guy time" was probably a much calmer driving environment for the LargeBoy, not too mention that, well, it was "guy time."

Snood had stayed over last night after she and Girl had worked at Parent Teacher Conferences (oh yes, I'll be posting on that too). This morning, Girl's birthday/confirmation money was burning a hole in her pocket, so she & Snood went shopping. That left SmallBoy and me. COOOOOOOOOOOOL! His birthday wishlist to the family contained basic stuff from the fitness aisle at Target or Wal-Mart that he could use for "home OT." He got some stuff, but got cash and gift cards from most everyone else. I told him that this money was not for video games, but to be used to buy him OT things. SmallBoy and I bundled up and headed to Target.

I knew, walking in, that this excursion could be a good experience or a nightmare, and I think that by taking that with me and being prepared for anything, it helped to keep me on my toes, yet calm and ready for whatever might happen. As any parent of ANY child can tell you, taking them to the store to shop for something other than toys can just be...Oh..GOd...well, you know. Add into this equation a child on the spectrum. Heh heh heh...yeah, we know what we're looking at before we even leave the house. So, yes, I was prepared for anything. Our luck started early when we managed to get "rockstar parking" - at Target - on a HOLIDAY! Would this streak continue?

I knew that our list included a weighted ball, so we opted for a cart that I let SmallBoy drive (I wish I'd have thought to have brought my camera). We also had new gym shoes on our list, so he decided we should go there first to make sure that we didn't spend all of our gift money before getting shoes. I taught him about stopping at the end of the aisles, just like crossing the street, before proceeding through the store. He did great! We found shoes. No arguments, no meltdowns. So far, so good. On we went to the fitness aisle, with SmallBoy at the "wheel."

We loaded up our cart with an 8lb weighted ball (with handles - good for Mommy to use, too), a Pilates ball like we use at OT, something else that I'm totally flaking on, and then I let him pick out something for himself for holding it together. We looked at a body length SpongeBob pillow that would be great for squishes, a couple of bean bag chairs, and a bed tent. After MUCH consideration and hemming and hawing, he opted for the bed tent...not exactly sensory oriented, but something that helps him feel like he has his own space into which he can retreat. And THEN, because he was SO spectacular and pulled himself out of a couple of meltdowns during the hemming & hawing, I let him get a game. He chose dominoes.

When we got home, LargeBoy & the big guys were still out driving and girl was still out shopping with Snood. It was still just Mom & SmallBoy. I thought briefly about hopping on the computer before the rest of the family came home and hogged it, but when I thought about the fact that I was going to post about my day off, I realized that it was only 1:00 and there wasn't quite a lot to talk about yet- except SmallBoy's incredible composure at Target. Instead, he and I went upstairs and assembled his bed tent (ooooh, ANOTHER post idea!). Now that it's done, it's totally cool. We inflated the pilates ball and attempted to work in RDI and OT into this one activity, although, I suppose the structure of our morning together was pretty RDI based. For the ball, we took turns with the foot pump. I decided that it was worth it to take a REALLY long time to inflate this ball and keep his focus on the activity without him getting bored. Yes, I did say we took turns. He did 20pumps on each foot, I did 20pumps on each foot. Yes, it took a REALLY long time, but we got it done and "stayed with me" the entire time. He's sitting on it now watching tv.

It was a couple hours later, though, that the mask finally fell off and the Not-So-SmallBoy finally crumbled. He was, initially, struggling with the "time flies when you're having fun" concept which led to a much deeper conversation. The sadness and dissatisfaction with himself surfaced. The question of, "why do I have to be like this," came up. I held back my tears, as I have grown acustomed to doing, and gave him some answer about how God made each of us different from every one else for a reason. I told him that he was made who he was and I was made who I am because that's what God wanted. Of course, this required my going into detail. I told him that he was given the gift of asperger's and I was given the gift of being his mother so that we could learn about it and help not only him, but OTHER families. I told him how many people have already learned SO much more just by the two of us blogging, by his book, about how now his book has gone to international and is enroute to Scotland (thanks again Marti & Child!) This helped, but it wasn't convincing him of anything. This really was breaking my heart. We have these conversations every once in a while, but not often enough that I worry about how the asperger's might be bringing on depression. Of course, that's why we have a psychologist, to help us with these things. Eventually, though, I talked to him about how he makes ME feel...I told him he makes me a better person, a stronger person, a smarter person, a more caring and compassionate person, and so on. I think that helped. The conversation ended after an hour with him teaching me how to do a Pokemon card battle.

After that hour, I was in dire need of a calming beverage and a hot bath. PC & ET were getting dinner started, so I started the hot water in the deep clawfoot tub, came down and poured myself a very generous glass of white wine, went back up and sank, Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman style, right down into my tub (although I had no bubbles). I washed my hair and conditioned, according to Marti's beauty tips, shaved blindly (I didn't have my eyes in, and wearing glasses in a hot tub is asking for trouble). By the time I had made it back downstairs, I had calmed down, simmered down, and brought my engine WAY down, and it was eat time. They all had chicken, mashed potatoes speckled with a mean-ass habanero sauce, and green beans cooked in onions. We all noticed the heat in the potatoes upon our first bites, yet no one said anything, lest we plant that in SmallBoy's mind. HE never noticed. It wasn't until about a paragraph ago that we asked ET what he had put in the potatoes.

SmallBoy's engine is down now, and he's waiting for his turn to enter the dominoes match. I'm writing, accompanied by the requisite glass of wine, and we're taking turns grossing out the children by mentioning that we "did the deed" this morning. It's really funny how much it makes them crazy. I mean, yes, think about YOUR parents doing it. Makes you cringe and let out a big EEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWW, doesn't it? I used to try to convince myself that I was adopted so that I'd never have to imagine MY parents having sex...I mean, GROSS...EEEUUUWWW! Girl is doing the old Eddie Murphy "La La LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I'm not hearing you," trick. Needless to say, this is the running joke of the evening. SNat is coming over in a bit and we're settling in to our Saturday night - no, correction FRIDAY NIGHT!!!!!!

Somebody comment and remind me to post tomorrow. I might get too relaxed!

M'ija

Girl's class, after having spent 10, some of them 11, years at this school (having been there since PK-3), gets spoiled in this their 8th grade, and final year. The class takes many fun and exciting trips. Last week, they went downtown to see an off-Broadway musical, The Pirate Queen, preceeded by lunch at the Signature Room of the John Hancock Building. It was quite the long day for the kids, but they had a blast. They had to dress up for the trip, and that was fine with them...very rarely do they get to wear makeup and jewelry, oh yes, and be in something other than the school uniform. It's fun to see them all gussied up from time to time, they look like different kids! The girls all did their hair, the boys donned ties. They left school at 8:45 and didn't get back until 6:00.

Ahh, m'ija, she's so cute. She loves her family. She loves her friends. She loves sports. She loves doing "girl'y" stuff. She loves a good "skwahtchy" (Wittew Goowah speak for "scratchy" - when she wants her back scratched). As evidenced by the previous sentence, she loves, from time to time, to be a wittew goowah again. She loves music - listening and playing. She LOVES a good argument (I suppose she gets that from me). She loves following politics (unheard of when I was her age). She loves hard work (STILL very much unheard of in teens).

She is growing up fast. Not quite sure what I'm going to do with her. Perhaps I'll put her in a convent until she's 80. That should solve all of my problems. That will keep her moral standards high, keep her faith strong, and, most importantly, KEEP THE BOYS AWAY!

Next year is high school, and she's already talking about where she wants to go to college - and none of her choices are close by; the closest being about 6hrs away, the farthest being thousands of miles away (KH, she wants to go to YOUR school!) What I really take comfort in, however, is the fact that, in many ways my daughter is just like me and will always need her mommy. She'll always have inside of her that wittew goowah who wants to snuggle and get skwatchied. Oh yeah, and that she LOVES to be a big goof - just take a peek at some of the pics in the slide show! She's a good kid. She's going to be a strong woman.

Ok, Wittew Goowah - time to stop all this growing up! You're making me old!

Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself...

...to steal from the Rolling Stones. Now that I'm participating in NaBloPoMo, I'm finding that - surprise! - there are more people out there that I DON'T KNOW...nor do they know me. Not only that, but MOST of you haven't seen the REST of my family. I have come across this fabulous site, thanks to Blogorrhea, that is a slide show generator. I'm going to make one for the band's myspace site too, cuz myspace only gives you 2 slideshow options, and only lets you upload 16pics. This one has, well, more than 16!

Scroll down a bit to the sidebar and meet my family...and then scroll down and read today's other post about Princess and her intense relationship with creamed corn.

Creamed Corn

I had this beautifully moving and extremely cathartic post going last night which, of course, I was just writing and writing and writing, moved by a song that brings me to tears every single time I hear it, when my mouse froze, my screen went dark, and another screen - a blue one this time, popped up and told me that my computer was about to start to auto-dump its contents. Well, LargeBoy streamed into the room, unplugged, yanked the battery and stopped that process from happening - THANK GOD! Unfortunately, though, I hadn't thought to save the post as a draft while I was composing through the tear drops (ok, streams). Yup. How 'bout that for a big ol' dose of Post-Be-Gone. I'll post that post another time, it's sad, but sweet. So instead of yesterday being a two-post day, it was just the one. Today, however, I'm going to post about something funny.

Word of the day - Creamed Corn. My niece, Princess, despises creamed corn. To her, it is the AntiChrist. For me, it is a happy comfort food memory, I ate it all the time with my grandparents. My grandfather always thought it funny to challenge us to eat it with a fork (where's the fun in that?). Princess would rather bleed from her eyeballs than to look at, breathe near, hear or utter the words "creamed corn". This, in our family, means large quantities of ribbing and an endless supply of jokes and pranks that could, very likely, carry over through the holidays in many very evil ways. Yes, we are evil when it comes to practical jokes, we all have very wicked senses of humor. Mainly we focus on each other, but every once in a while, one of the kids gets brought into the loop - because, well, it's his or her turn in the rotation, as we like to say.

ET plays this game with her, taken from the esteemed Pee Wee's Playhouse (long before that meant a dark movie theater). He'll establish a word of the day and every time one of them uses it, the do something goofy. The favorite word, so far, has been "armpit", which is usually said while smothering the other in said armpit (UGH). Now, I'm not certain as to how creamed corn came up, probably while ET was planning a meal, but Princess voiced her complete and total disgust at the idea. She was quite insistent that creamed corn was gross, sickening, and Blehechkbluhr (how does one spell the sound of wretching?), and went streaking from the room letting out a scream. You have to know our Princess to know that the scream is almost always accompanied by hysterical laughter, rolled eyeballs, and some other comic facial expression, completed by the wild waving of the arms over the head. As she ran, she left the door to PrankLand wide open.

ET's first prank was to buy a multitude of cans of creamed corn and line the cupboard shelves with them, hiding the rest of the contents. He called Princess into the room, casually, and asked her about what they should make for their meal together. You can imagine the shock when she opened the cupboard to all of the cans staring at her, taunting her. Again with the screaming out of the room, followed by the maniacal laughter of her father. From then on, the more common "armpit" word of the day, frequently was replaced with "creamed corn," evoking similar responses. Keep in mind, of course, this is all in good fun, and Princess plays along with us (perhaps humoring US).

Last week, and over the weekend, ET spent quite a bit of time at our house helping us with the many many Herculean tasks that needed to be completed in order to host the giganto family party. As he retold the creamed corn story, flashes of light appeared, on a regular basis, over PC's an my heads, and then again over ET's. We decided that, indeed, we would drag this out until Christmas. The only catch is that we have to let it die down enough that she begins to forget about it...and then bring it up again before it's a "been there/done that" kind of a thing. Ideas, ideas, ideas: for the Thanksgiving feast, let everyone else be served whatever the vegetable dish may be....give her creamed corn (we'll all eat it when she won't, don't worry, no waste involved), stuffing of her stocking with creamed corn, complete with a note from Santa saying that he understood her deep affection for this delicious dish and wanted to make sure she had a nice supply of it, wrapping her Christmas gift from PC & me in a smaller package, but then giving her a nice big heavy box all wrapped beautifully, with a big red bow - only for her to discover when she opens it, that it's ....yep, you guessed it...creamed corn!

Oh yes, you're right. We certainly are awful, but the fun thing about Princess is that she'll TOTALLY play along, and quietly plot and plan about how to retaliate. All of this, and she's only "7, duh!" Yes, yes, we're grooming her well. Heh heh heh heh.....

The Season Opener

Sadly, this is not from last nights inaugural game of Girl's final basketball season at her school. My camera batteries decided it would be great fun to have enough juice left to take a picture, but not enough juice to produce significant light for a flash. Every picture I took came out dark, although, I suppose that's a good thing since Girl moves so fast. In this pic, she's the one in the white and blue in the foreground...yeah, the blue and white blur. I think this was from last season, anyway. Regardless, the craziness of basketball season has begun, and will continue, as such, until February - ish ( I think). I'm hoping that I'll have plenty of posts for you to carry you throughout her season and play-by-plays of as much as I can remember after leaving the gym...and hopefully no more stories of concussions.


Now that she's in 8th grade, she has the last game time - 8:00, which means that if any of the previous games go long, we ultimately are the ones delayed. We also get the responsibility of cleaning up the gym after the games (the 5th graders have pregame clean/set up duty). Assuming, then, that all goes according to schedule and our girls start at 8:00 and win in regulation, then we're usually out of the gym by about 9:30. So much fun on a school night. Somewhere in all of that, she has to find time to study. Hopefully she won't have too many Thursday night games, though...don't want to miss my Supernatural, at least not til the holidays when the reruns start.

As usual, Girl is doing 2 sports simultaneously. Basketball is her current "in-season" sport and softball is in Fall Training right now. It's incredibly busy, but it's great training and conditioning for her. Oooh, how did I do that? Somehow I got off track. Shoot.

Back to last night: Opening night. We played one of the Catholic schools from the Richer-Than-Thou suburb just west of us. There's been a long standing rivalry between the two schools, although, there are long standing rivalries between us and almost every school we play. I'm not sure how the 5th & 6th graders did, but the 7th graders lost, and it was up to the 8th graders to make the big showing for the school. You could feel the tension in the gym so thick that the air was clouded with it. Our girls were pumped, the other team was pumped. We, the spectators, could just sense that we were in for a really intense game.

Girl, of course, started - although she was surprised she started (?). Back and forth, up and down the court, shoot and a miss, shoot and a miss and a rebound which found its way into Girl's hands. Girl took it down for the layup and scored the first points of the game...WOO HOO! Back and forth this went and the first quarter was over before we knew it with a 2point spread between the teams. At the buzzer, we just happened to be in the advantage. By halftime it was another story.

With the start of the second quarter, the other team came out strong, the fouls began, and soon we were down by 7. Watching our girls on that floor, it was easy to see that they were not about to let this pattern continue. They went into the locker room at halftime with bounces and hoots and yells. They were full of fight. When they came back out, it was like they had taken all of the individual energy and fight they had when they entered the locker room, and had channelled it all into one big energy mass the encompassed the team as a whole. They fought hard. They fouled, they got fouled. They made shots, hit the threes, they grabbed the rebounds, they dove for the saves. I gotta tell ya, they were HOT! With 1:54, or something short like that, left in the game, we tied, back and forth some more. On an unfortunate turnover, one of the girls on the other team took the ball on a breakaway. Girl was not covering her, but another girl. No one saw this player bolting to the hoop (who was covering her????). She went up, simple, uncontested layup. She MISSED! The score was still tied. We got it back. Down the court they blazed. Blocked shots, no fouls. We lost it out of bounds. Girl was covering the player who had to inbound the ball and slapped it right back at her. The player, instead of letting it go and retaining posession, caught the ball - she was still standing where she had inbounded, so she was OUT of bounds. OUR BALL with 2seconds left...and so rang the regulation buzzer.

Into OT we went. Did I mention that our game started late? Girl was in, Snood was in, coverage was intense. More back and forth, more fouls (and , of course, by OT both teams were in the bonus). One & ones with the made first shot, the miss and the hopeful put back for a three-point play. Our girls were on those players like chicken on a junebug. Boom! Bam! Up by two, we turned over the ball. The other team went to the hoop, we fouled them. They missed their shots, we boarded and held on to that ball. Final Buzzer - WE WON!!!!!!!! What a great way to start the season!

Post game conference and clean up. I think we got home around 9:45/10:00. Girl was so pumped she could hardly sit still long enough to woof down some much delayed dinner. She LOVES to compete. It's in her blood, coursing through her veins. It will serve her well. Here's to the start of the first league (of 3) of the final basketball season before high school!

Twins...Reprise

Saturday, I believe, I began a post on what it's like being married to a twin. We were getting ready for the giganto party and I didn't have much time to post, not to mention that I felt like CRAP. Still do today, didn't sleep much last night thanks to the middle of the night leaf collecting and scraping by the village (wtf?) and the dog's incredible discomfort (another post, soon to follow). I think I finally fell asleep around 4:45; my alarm goes off at 6:00. Yeah. I'm back at work today, desperately fighting to stay awake, so I figured now was as good a time as any to post.

So, what's it like being married to a twin? It is a very unique experience, I must say. First off, I have a built in brother - which is really cool. Second, I've learned to understand the freaky twin things they do, and have noticed myself starting to display those same traits. I've also learned that when going out in public with the two of them, I'm screwed.

I always wanted a brother. I tried like crazy to convince my mom that she needed to "get me" an older brother. I loved being the oldest, but I wanted an older brother. Well, ET's a few years younger than me, but he's still a fantastic brother. He and PC do the same goofy things that siblings do, only much more extreme. From what I've heard, and this was all "before my time," they also fought like siblings do...only much more extreme. They've had times when they've beaten the snot out of each other. The worst I ever did was lock my sister in a closet so she wouldn't rat on me for having a boy over...well, I suppose THAT secret's out now, isn't it? They are both headstrong, and when they talk, argue, carry on an intense conversation, whatever, they're BOTH right and they're BOTH wrong. It's really quite crazy.

Ok, when people get married, they usually inherit a sibling, right? So sure, I got the brother. Oh no, it's not that simple. Let me explain further about the freaky twin thing. If you've ever known twins, you've probably experienced the finishing of each other's sentences, the difficulty with phone voices, the pranks. Oh yes, I've done that with these two. They finish each other's sentences, yes, but usually when they're in conversation with someone else - me, for example. One will start to tell me about a place they visited and the other will jump in with the rest of the sentence...then the first one has to finish the thought before starting a completely different tangent. They'll both be talking about the same thing at the same time, yet the conversation ends up going in different directions. My head starts to spin, because I don't know to whom I should be paying attention. One of the other freaky twin things that the do is when one of them tells you something and then, not five minutes later, the other will either come into the room and tell you the same thing, or will call and tell you the same thing. Even my kids have commented on this one! They have been known, to, without discussing it, buy similar clothing - and then, go as far as wear the same clothing (without planning it) when we go out. SCARY....

Wait, it gets weirder still....This has really only been since PC's cut his hair, but every once in a while it would happen when it was longer. Even though PC and ET are identical, it's quite easy to tell the difference between the two. PC's got great cheeks and big eyes, and is much taller than ET. ET has slanty eyes, is shorter, and no cheeks - ok, less cheeks I suppose I should say. I've never ever had difficulty telling them apart physically. One morning, though, I woke up and rolled over and almost screamed. As I gazed at the head on the pillow, my eyes looked, tried to process that this person laying there looking exactly like ET was, in fact, my husband, PC. Really, it was. It was just that the way PC had slept that night, his hair was all mussed up and pushed around and he looked JUST like ET. It was a temporary freak out and I recovered quickly, but DAMN was it weird.

Then there are the jokes. I wonder, really, how much I should post...but of course, you won't really know these guys if I don't tell all, now will you? They have been known to pull sibling pranks on each other - dousing the one guy with a glass of ice water thrown over the shower curtain, locking the other one outside buck naked in the middle of winter, telling girls that his brother much prefers boys...you know, simple things. Harmless things. Well, this past Friday the 13th, the kids were with Ex, SmallBoy must have been in bed, and ET was staying over for whatever reason. The three of us were hanging out, drinking beer, and having a Supernatural-a-thon (if you've never seen that show, it on the WB -oops, the CW Thursday nights at 8CST -we never miss it!). I had to break the seal and got up to go to the Little Girls' Room. OF COURSE, I lock the door behind me. I made that mistake ONCE, once. Not really paying much attention to Frick & Frack in the other room, I noticed that it had gotten pretty quiet, but I just figured they had paused the DVD until I came back and were busy drinking their beer or had gone out for a smoke. Innocently, I did what I needed to do and came out of the bathroom to find a horrific, yet absolutely freaking hysterical sight (I'm having a vague memory of posting this already, tell me if this is a repeat): When you exit my bathroom, you are steps away from the living room and can see the sofa. I saw my husband's bare leg draped very sexy like over the arm of the sofa. As I rounded the corner, I realized he was totally naked. Without turning my attention the the other end of the sofa, I knew...I just felt it. Curiosity, though, won over common sense, and I looked. Just as I suspected. Naked as the day he was born - at the other end of my sofa, was ET. I didn't know WHAT to do. I turned around, left the room, and laughed SO hard that I fell over onto the floor, cried for about 15minutes because I was laughing SO hysterically. It took forever to recover from this. Damn was it funny, though.

Some people would have found that totally offensive and repulsive. That's the difference when you're married to twins....you really are "married" to both of them. It's just weird that way. No, we're not talking polygamy or anything like that. My husband is my husband and I love him more than life itself. It's just when you have these two who are SO similar, yet so totally different that it just gets weird. Going out in public...oh that's horrifying. I go along so that I'm not ditched and so that I can spend time with my husband without taking away quality twin time (yet another fine line). It's quite an experience. If we go to a bar and sit anywhere other than a round table, I'm out of the conversation OR I'm slammed in between the two of them and am on the receiving end of the jokes, crap, and two conversations going on at the same time - one in each ear. If I let them sit together and sit next to PC, well, then, I was never in the conversation to begin with.

Some of this just sounds awful and you may be thinking to yourself, "Why, MG? Why? Doesn't this make you crazy?" I would honestly have to say, no. It doesn't. These two are two of the best guys I know. I don't know that I would say it's easy, but it's definitely a rewarding experience and one that, no matter how many words I write here, you MUST experience yourself to truly understand what I'm saying. Ok, well, back to work. If I get a chance, I'll post again later, but Girl's basketball season starts tonight! Home Opener! Maybe I'll have some pics for you tomorrow (if she ever slows down long enough for me to snap a picture!).

A Little Too Close for Comfort

As I'm sitting and relaxing with my family, after a long few days of cleaning and cooking for the pentultimate family event, it just dawned on me that it was 10:55pm and that I hadn't posted today. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! It was a LONG day, filled with church, family, food, and squirrels...Lord had I the time to tell you everything, but I don't, so I'll just give you snippets.

The long day really started over the when we embarked on the project of getting the house "ready" for the party on Friday. I've felt like shit for about 4 or 5 days, so I haven't been assisting much in the preparatinon stage of the event...granted, I planned, invited, made lists, assigned foods, etc..., but the actual physical cleaning and getting ready, I've sat on my ass. I still can't reach the top of my inhale. I'm still convinced that its part cold and part anxiety over my finances.

Today, though, we had the big giganto party. The Expando-Family was invited starting at 2pm. This party was not just for my children, but any one on my side of the family with a birthday in the last quarter of the year...and in my family, every quarter is FULL of birthdays! But wait...there's more! PC, ET, & I stayed up very late last night. We were ripping up carpet, cleaning, and preparing food. Just as we were getting ready to present our boarding passes for our seats on the slumber flight, we were all rudely awakened from our bliss by a Princess displaying the international sign for choking. Thank God for her fast acting and quick thinking, and amazingly calm father. He realized that she was choking (on a large Lemon Head) and gave her the Heimlich maneuver as soon as he figured out what was going on. Needless to say, we were all on a bit of an adrenaline high after that. There was no way we could go to bed at that point, especially after being scared out of our wits! Thankfully, our sweet little girl was ok and I made it a point to offer up thanks at church this morning that I don't normally offer up.

Speaking of church, it was SmallBoy's first time singing with the youth choir. I can't begin to explain to you the pride, but all of you, I'm certain, know what I'm talking about. But to be watching your ASD child, completely apart from you, in an environment where he is forced to hold it together, where he MUST follow the music and the director and the format for the mass...it was truly incredible. I had to fight to keep the tears from rolling down my face. Yes, I was extremely proud, just like any other parent there, but unlike any of the other parents, I had an additional element of "WOW", as well as pride. He did SO great!

Came home, had lots of family over, lots of food, we're all ready to explode, had a wonderful time. Girl & SmallBoy are in bed, LargeBoy is in the shower, PC & ET are on the couch "watching" TV and I'm here....

Oh..........Yes, you want to know about the squirrel! Well...now THIS is a funny one. In the middle of the party, the phone rang and it was my FIL, he hadn't been able to attend the party, so we just thought he was calling to check in. Turns out, he was calling to tell us that there was a squirrel loose in the house, running around, knocking over precious glasses, lamps, etc....HOLY ACORNS, BATMAN! PC, ET, and I thought that perhaps, if FIL really wanted the squirrel to give up that he should corner it and give it a lecture of his choosing. Then again, we also created, in our imaginations, the picture of my FIL giving up the chase and being reclined on the sofa watching the game while Mr. Squirrel sat on HIS big comfy leather chair. Teee Heee....

Well kids, I've got a few more good posts up my sleeves for this week, but the alarm will be going off entirely too soon in the morning. I'd best get my boys situated and to bed. Nighty Night!

Twins

Most people who blog about twins would be blogging about their children. I, on the other hand, am blogging about PC & ET, and the really twisted and weird relationship between the three of us. 12/31/04 I married my husband. I got a two-fer. Being married to a twin is a completely different experience than being a parent to twins....about which I will have to tell you later.

We're having a massive family party for all of the birthdays in my family in the last quarter of the year. Needless to say, we've been cleaning nonstop all week, particularly yesterday and today. Today, we sort of sidetracked everything when we decided to pull up the carpet in Girl's room - it had become the cat's litterbox of choice. Fortunately, she has hardwood floors underneath. Also, she hs the smallest room in the house (probably 11 x7 or something lame) which, when it comes to ripping up carpet, is a really good thing!

Now we're just finishing up the massive cleaning of the house, the turpentine removal of the paint drips from the floor (oops), and then we'll begin the cooking. I spent the entire morning in bed, and then some - til about 1:30. I was not feeling well at all, been having a constriction in my lungs for the last few days. I don't think it's sick, I think it's anxiety, to be perfectly honest - lots of crap going on stressing me out....particularly surrounding my house.

I'd best get back to work, it's going to be a long, long, crazy, crazy night. I wanted to make sure I got this post out though. Perhaps one night during the week I'll get to it, or even one day during the week at work - this is our slow season right now. In the meantime, fantasize, have nightmares, post about, whatever, about what it could possibly be like being "married" to twins....and imagine them about as wild and crazy as they come. Oh I can't wait to tell you more. I promise, it's coming. I'll post tomorrow, at some point, probably late in the day after the birthday party's over and all the guests have left and the dishes are done. Enjoy your Saturday night!

Fake it Til You Make it

I had this elaborate plan for today's posting all about how I'm struggling with this whole idea of moving: if it's even a financially viable option (since I owe SO many people SO much money), if it's the best thing for the kids, how much grief we may or may not get from Ex, and if we get grief, will it take so long to resolve that we lose any house we make an offer on, will we be able to sell our house, will we be able to sell our house for enough money to pay off some of the debts we have AND make a downpayment on a house, can we..., will there be..., how will...

Yes, it was a lovely post. I'll probably post it tomorrow, maybe today, doubtful, but maybe. Why, on day 3 of NaBloPoMo am I wussing on a short post like this instead of such a deep, thought provoking, multiple comment provoking post? Cuz I don't feel good. In the words that I emailed to my mother this mornin, "I'n sick." Yes, that says "I'n" cuz that's how I said it when I was a wittew goowah. My head hurts, my tummy hurts, my eyes burn, I feel like a got hit, not by a mack truck, but by a caravan of mack trucks. I haven't been sick in a while, and I have a feeling that this, too, shall pass. But I just feel like crap, and I don't want to waste a really good post on a crappy feeling day - it will NOT be well written at all, and will probably just end up a stream of ramblings.

Oh, but I must add, PM, if you didn't see the Halloween post 2 below this one, LargeBoy had a WONDERFUL time and thanks you profusely for supplying him with bagel dogs. He loves them and I just haven't bought them in forever. Thanks for your insights, too. They will be a real live point when I mange to get the post written that I would have written today had I not felt like total and complete shit.

Thank you all for reading today. Drop by again later, perhaps I'll feel re-energized and post that post after all. Perhaps not, so drop by tomorrow too.

What I Want for My Birthday

No, not Yoda...LOL. Last year, I had this wonderful list of things I wanted for my birthday. I got my autism awareness bracelet from my MIL, I got my pumpkin pie for my birthday cake (of course, I ALWAYS do, my bday is always around Thanksgiving), and I had the love of my family which, above all, is the ONLY thing that I could ever ask for my birthday. This year, I want my pumpkin pie cake (birthday is ON Thanksgiving this year), I know I'll have the love of my family, but there's something more. Something SO much more. Something HUGE. Something that will involve MIRACLES - and big ones, at that!

I want THIS:



I can't begin to tell you how much I want this. My current house is warm and fuzzy and loving, but it has turned into a rehabber's wet dream and involves so much more than I can put into it. Not to mention that between interest rates and a couple of late payments, my monthly mortgage has DOUBLED. I live on a postage stamp and am paying property taxes almost equivalent to the ones on this house which, by the way, sits on between 1/4 - 1/2 acre. We have a wonderful home, but with the kids getting bigger, it is getting entirely too small.

I'd love to stay in the town where we live for another 15-30 years, but it's just too damn expensive. I want my kids to graduate from the high school in our town, but it's unrealistic. I don't want them to have to make new friends, I LOVE their friends, I've watched them grow up, I know their character, and I know their parents. The thought of learning a whole new set of kids and gaining 10-16yrs of knowledge about them and their families in an incredibly short time frightens me. Putting SmallBoy into a new environment that may or may not be willing to work with the Asperger's frightens me. These things are becoming necessary, though.

I suppose the best way to overcome the fears is to just jump in and do it, make it a point to meet the people and the kids and the families. I should make it a point to contact the schools, talk to them about SmallBoy before we even consider making the big move and feel them out, see how they'll work with him, how much they know about Asperger's and perhaps educate them if moving is the route we take.

Girl and LargeBoy will be resilient. They'll adapt and make new friends easily. I moved a LOT when I was a child, just never DURING high school. Of course, I'll see if I can arrange it so they can finish out the shool year where they are, especially so Girl can graduate 8th grade with the kids she has gone to school with since PK-4. LargeBoy will be fine. It's really SmallBoy that I'm worried about. Perhaps I can arrange it so he can stay in his current school for 4 more years...it's a private school, so it shouldn't matter, right? The family has a legacy at that school.

Anyway, financially, selling our home and buying a new one would be a very sound investment, AND the best thing for our family. This particular home, as well as others I've looked at on the internet, is in a town south of where I live now, much farther from the bright lights of Chicago, but not too far. My cousin and her husband and 2 sons also live there. I know that she wouldn't live somewhere "icky," nor would she send her children to schools that are less than wonderful. Oh decisions, decisions.

Here's another room:



I SO wish this was my furniture. The picture does it absolutely NO justice. The room is huge, the windows open to a wrap around porch....Come to think of it, NONE of these pictures do the house justice. PC and I looked at the virtual tour and just about passed out. It's out of our price range, in theory, or at least out of the realistic price range. Of course, right now, everything is out of our price range. However, out of the price range is better than living in a house that could potentially go boom (note: not KA-boom - as in explosion, just boom - as in fall down go boom).

Our house, from the moment I bought it, required work. The insurance company required that I get new siding installed - oh, that was fun - I think it was something with two digits, and three zeros ( I just can't remember the two digits), then, my dearest mother replaced the windows on the first floor, the basement, and had a security door installed on the side door. THEN, our water heater debaucle happened (sorry, can't find the post to link), and mom sprung for a new one of those. No, my mother is not a money tree, which is why all of these may have been my alotted miracles already.

It still requires work...it needs a MAJOR overhaul of the electricity. We don't even USE the electricity in the basement because it's SO messed up...We've been trying to get an electrician in there for a while, but the phone tag has gotten so insane. We'd call someone else, but this guy comes referred by my in-laws and has a great reputation. The house is still on fuses, the outlets are minimal...our bedrom has 4 plugs - on one outlet, all on one side of the room.

But look at THIS...



...can you imagine? This is an OLD house, but with all of the upgrades (wait til I show you the kitchen), there HAD to be an upgrade in the electric...ok, ok,



...here's the kitchen. And again, no justice done AT ALL...this kitchen is HUGE, new appliances, the stove top on that island-y part of the counter....I'm drooling (see, MAJOR miracles needed here, not just financially either). Want another room?

Ok, here you go...again, if only this was MY furniture! Double door closet! And this is merely the MASTER bedroom. This place has 4Bed and a finished basement. So far, the ONLY downfall that I see (aside from the price), is the fact that it only has 1 bathroom...for all of us, that creates a problem, but NOT an impossibility...it's been done before, we've just gotten used to 2 bathrooms now, and we're spoiled. Speaking of bathrooms



... check this beauty out! Sure, there may only be one bathroom, but DAMN...look at it!

This truly is a dream home. I would LOVE to have it. There are so many details to work out, though. If through a miracle (of epic proportions, mind you) provided by the Angels of Finance, we were able to purchase this home, we'd still have to tend to so many other issues....making ours saleable, although a rehabber would probably snarf it up in a heartbeat - it really is a rehabber's wet dream (too bad I couldn't list it as such), selling it, fenagling deals with the schools, dealing with Ex, who is certain to have a coniption - even though he's planning to move equally as far north when his step-daugther graduates from high school in 4yrs, and, well, that's it, I suppose. Doesn't sound like too much, but LORD it would be. No sense worrying about it though, until we know if it is even an option.

At least it will give me something to write about every day this month....

The First Day

Today is day one of NaBloPoMo. Since I haven't figured out how to load Yoda into my side bar, I will keep posting him every day as my first picture! Conveniently I have something to write about today. I have some Halloweeny pics. Let's start with Girl.



She and her friends were taking on the 80's (anyone recognize that outfit?). The original idea was to go as jazzercisers. So, Monday night, we attempted to make BIG hair. For once, Girl had the WRONG hair. She was looking through my high school yearbook for 80's hair and kept asking why So-&-So's hair did this and could I give her DJ Tanner bangs (from "Full House). I told her that all of those people had layered hair - with many layers, shorter and all the way around. I taught her about the rule of big hair, though - When in doubt, apply hairspray. Her plan was to "do the do" as a practice, take a picture, download it to the computer, email it to her friend's house and to be able to use it as a guide to prepare her costume.

I didn't see her before trick-or-treating, as she went right to her friend T's house after school to get in costume, and didn't get home until 9ish - well after the costume had been worn well and loved well, so this pic is post t-or-t'ing. Ultimately, it was a Flashdance costume. She found her "clothes" at the Salvation Army store - BAD 80's sweatshirt that she took a scissors to and gave it the Flashdance flair, and a funky robe-ish sweater with tight ribbed sleeves that she cut to turn into legwarmers. UGH...just the thought makes me quiver.

The girls froze because, of course, even though it was about 40degrees at night, they didn't wear COATS!, didn't bag as much candy as they had hoped, but hell, if you don't stay out for the full 3.5hrs alotted (3:30 - 7), then you're not going to get what you wanted - and even less if it's cold out, cuz no one wants to stand outside passing out candy on a freezing cold Chicago night. However, she and her friends managed to bag a pizza dinner from T's mom! Good thinking!



LargeBoy went to a friend's right after school also. I didn't think that he'd go out, actually. When he was 11 or 12 yrs old, he and his friends had gone out trick or treating together on a block that was having a block party - 2 blocks from our house, at the time. As he and another one of his friends split to go home, LargeBoy turned right and his friend crossed the street. LargeBoy got thrown up a fence, punched in the face by a child and adult, got his candy swiped, and since then, hasn't gone out again for Halloween. He's never lost his taste for Halloween, it's the favored holiday in our house, which is good. He's always been more than happy to sit on the porch and be the Candy Man. This year, he went out with his good friend J - one of my favorites of his friends, had a great time just hanging out, and came home by 8:00. Good kid that LargeBoy. Oh, and by the way, Potato Man is LargeBoy's contribution to his "costume". He lived in our refrigerator and got kind of scary looking.



The Not-So-SmallBoy...ah, my little love. He was a Ninja-DUH! Don't you know that ALL ninjas wear sweatshirts under their body armor? It truly was cold, but that wasn't going to stop him. No way. His line last night was "Trick-or-treat for the Ninja!" He had a blast. We went out between 5 & 5:30 while the sun was still out and did our block and the next block over. Surprisingly, there were a decent number of people home. By the time we got back to our house where PC was manning the door, we were FROZEN. We opted to stay in and eat pizza while we warmed up before heading over to our old block to trick-or-treat at the houses of those we spent 10years with.

We love to go over there. Nothing special as far as candy and, usually, only half of the block participates. My previous next door neighbor, though, has a thing for Halloween. Every year, he seals off his porch and front yard while the Halloween Muse takes hold of him. Each year his creation is even bigger than the last. He always involves his two skeletons - full size, mind you. In addition, he strings up voice activated bats that fly around at the first sound they "hear". What's great about them is that he hangs them high enough, strung tree to tree, so that when it's dark out and the unsuspecting trick-or-treater (or parent) comes walking by gawking at his creation, they don't see the bats until it's too late!

We wondered what L would create this year. In the past he's done The Grateful Dead - which was pretty cool, the debates with Kerry & W (only what was really cool was that he made their names something skeletal and spooky, but so that you knew who they were), one year was the Cubs & Sox - again, in skeleton. This year, and dork me didn't take a picture, we came upon two skeletons in the front yard, decked out in the black jackets, black hats, and black shades - no, not Tommy Lee & Will Smith, no Flashy Things - these guys had keyboards & harmonicas - yes, oh yes...it was The Boo's Brothers. He even had an animated hand to make it look like one of them was actually playing the keyboard. It was very very cool. It is very apparent how much L LOVES/LIVES for Halloween!

So after visiting all the houses on that block that still had lights on and finishing our warm grown-up beverage, we headed back home. SmallBoy was perfectly content when, after counting each and every piece of candy, determined that he had 73 pieces and a coupon for the karate studio down the street (run by our neighbors). I'm actually surprised that he had that much stuff...but it's the karate coupon that was a total score!

Punkins....It's really hard to take a good pic of these guys with no flash...the light just blurrs automatically. Bummer, but you get the gist....PC's pumpkin, the one on the left, is posted in the post below, the one in the middle is the one that LargeBoy impaled with the butcher knife, and the one in the on the right is the one that Girl & Snood carved...

I hope you all had a wonderful, and warmer, Halloween, and aren't suffering too much of a candy hangover from all of the candy when, on the Required Parental Safety Inspection, you deemed unsafe (and devoured for yourself) - Guilty. I can't wait to stop by and see all of YOUR pictures!

Am I Crazy or Am I Needing Motivation? (oh yes, and I need HELP!)

Yup. I'm crazy. I haven't been writing much lately, so, with a good swift kick in the pants in the form of a nice little challenge, and a little encouragement from Kyra and my family, I've decided to participate in NaBloPoMo this month. For those of you unfamiliar, it is a challenge to post on your blog every single day for the month of November. It doesn't have to be anything profound, it can be simple, short, or you can babble on and on, which, I find, I have no trouble doing. I don't think I'll have too much difficulty with the posting part, it's the uploading of the logo that is challenging me.

I'm not certain if it's me or if it's blogger or if it's a little of both...it took me all day just to get the photo into THIS post...and I KNOW how to do THAT. Well tonight we trick or treat, tomorrow we embark on the post. In the meantime, I need HELP!!!!! Kyra and I have been, as she put it, the blind leading the blind when it comes to figuring out how to get our friend Yoda, here, into the sidebar. There are many logos for the NaBloPoMo challenge on the page. This is the one I chose to use. However, I am terribly challenged in the area of doing anything to the blog except actually posting. If you know anything about adding these little tags to blogger, any knowledge you'd like to share with me would be MUCH appreciated! Send it through my email - in my profile! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Preparing for Halloweenies!

Halloween is only a few days off and Girl has no costume, and we JUST picked out SmallBoy's. We drove all over creation and out to BFE for pumpkins. This year's crop was nasty. I don't know if it was just here in Illinois or across the country, but there was some nasty fungus that attacked the pumpkin crop. It was extremely difficult to find one, let alone three, that were not smushy or moldy or "hol-e-y", but we did it! Here they are!


Princess & the Not-So-SmallBoy digging out the pumpkin guts! Such fun. I'm not sure if Princess was posing, blocking the shot, or trying to show us her totally gooped up hands and forearm!


Ah...Girl & Snood, they're very rarely apart, she's like my second daughter. I think, in this picture, they were attempting to reattach Jack's eyeball with a couple of toothpicks. It was a group effort. A lot of blood and elbow grease went into this pumpkin, as Girl broke one of the tiny little carving knives that come with the pumpkin kit AND one of my steak knives!


And speaking of knives......Would you believe we actually took this one twice because he didn't look crazed enough the first time? Gotta love the LargeBoy. I really enjoy that he hasn't outgrown the fun of these kinds of holidays. He will not go out trick-or-treating (he had a bad experience a few years ago), but is more than happy to be the door guy - on the porch with all the creepy decorations, scaring the bigger kids and having fun. He LOVES to decorate, LOVES to do pumpkins...do you see the Jim Carrey in him? Oh I do!


And last, but not least, PC's pumpkin - carved and aglow with the tealight. This seemingly simple stencil design took him forever. I'm amazed at the amount of patience my lovely husband has. He had fun, we had fun and all of our pumpkins will be on display tomorrow night. Hopefully I'll be able to get a really good picture.

Oh, and Mom, I'm not doing seeds this year, but thanks for the recipe. I'll hang on to it til next year!

Remind me, in my next post, to tell you about the earthshattering event that happened this weekend. Oh, screw it, I'll tell you now. It was a weekend for the kids to be at Ex's. PC and I were attending the auction for Girl & SmallBoy's school, so I told Ex that I would need Girl to come home Saturday night and babysit. In return I would make sure she got to her softball practice on Sunday while the rest of them attended a family party. Well shut my mouth when all of a sudden, he calls back, talks to Girl and says that he'll keep SmallBoy overnight!

Now now, don't get excited, I'm certain it's not the beginning of any major breakthroughs or anything. I guess they were planning on attending a Halloween event at the zoo, so he just decided it would be "easier" on him if plans were done that way. However, I will usually hear from Girl & LargeBoy if there was any unpleasantness during the stay at their father's house. Nada. Nothing. Not even a hint of meltdown or anything....of course, I'm not pressing for information, either. But hey, it could be nothing, it could be something. Probably nothing, though. Thought I'd share.

Alright all...take lots of pictures tomorrow. I want to see! Personally, I will be wearing my pajamas to work with my fuzzy slippers. One of my absolute favorites! Perhaps ponytails too!

Confirmation Pics

It's not very often that I post a good picture of Girl - mainly because she's just so damn beautiful that I don't want her face all over the net looked at by weirdos. YOU, however, are not weirdos. You are friends & family. I'll just keep the anonymity thing up through the blog.

As I said in the post below, Girl's Confirmation was 10/21. I have some pics of Girl, the bishop, and her sponsor (who, coincidentally is Ex's divorce attorney - she's really a real estate attorney, she's the godmother of New Baby, however she is a very GOOD and very REAL person, if you know what I mean, and I applaud Girl for choosing her as her sponsor), and a great pic of the boys at the dinner...looking like they're deep in conversation after throwing back a few beers (which, of course, they did not). So, here ya go!





Yes, yes, love them love them!

Signs of Life

Hi all! I am, indeed, still alive. I've been terribly busy and just haven't had the time or the motivation to write lately.

Way back on the 11th, Meem, GR, PC & I had the opportunity to attend a lecture given by Dr. Jed Baker on Social Skills and Frustration Management in Children on the Spectrum, most specificially Asperger's. I was hoping to have been the good little student and have translated and shared all of my notes with you by now. Well, I didn't. Oops. However, I must say that, as a result, we've taken a couple of Dr. Baker's ideas and made them work for us. We now use our dry erase board to help our Not-So-Smallboy keep track of the STARS that he earns. He can earn stars by helping us out with a chore, by doing a chore, by avoiding a meltdown, by remembering all of the necessary materials for his homework, by finding a solution to a problem he's having, by getting ready for school on time, etc.... Each star is worth 5 minutes of computer or video game time (see how I killed two birds with one stone?)

So, on the board we have his stars, we let him draw and erase them. We also keep a "bank log" so that he sees #Stars = x, Time = y, so that he can easily determine how much he has available. The challenges that we've found with this system really involve his accountability once he gets ON the games: "So, SmallBoy, how long have you been playing Star Wars?"

"10 minutes."

This is when LargeBoy or Girl interject with, "Um, I don't think so. It's been more like 1/2 an hour."

Our solution was to have SmallBoy "log in" on the dry erase board when he began using his stars. Ideally, that would give HIM the visual when he argued how long he had been online or playing games on the Xbox. We would be able to say,

"SmallBoy, you logged in at 4:40. It's now 5:10. You've been playing for 30minutes. That's 6 stars."

"But...but...but...it only felt like 2 stars!"

Then we can show him the clock. He doesn't like that the time flies so quickly, but he understands better when he sees the visual. Then he reluctantly erases his stars. The BEST part, though, is that he has a constant goal. He ALWAYS wants more time, so, more often than not, he's willing to do something to earn stars. I have found that this is an extremely helpful tool when trying to get him to pull out of a meltdown...or to avoid one.

Girl made her confirmation this past Saturday. If you're familiar with the Catholic church, you know that this is one of THE LONGEST services...regular mass, but with all of the confirmands (in this case I believe there were about 60 or so) receiving the sacrament after the homily. Then everyone still has to go up for Communion. Realistically, this is about a 2hour mass. Currently, our gorgeous church is undergoing some major renovations. The confirmands were graced with the Holy Scaffolding around the altar for decorations and, in the true Catholic tradition of patience, penitence, & guilt, we were sitting on metal folding chairs because all fo the pews were being replaced. You can imagine what kinds of ASD triggers these are going to be....long mass, more-uncomfortable-than-normal seating, crowded church so no one can see, big ugly scaffolding, and a LOT of stuff going on.

So, we prepped our Not-So-SmallBoy. He didn't want to go - and anyone can understand. I mean, church, to children, is boring as a rule and he knew he was going to be sitting through a long one. So, we put the carrot in front of the proverbial horse and dangled the Stars! I offered him stars for making it through the mass (he wasn't sitting with me as I was a sponsor for S, Girl's best friend), and then we offered him stars for making it through the dinner afterwards (with Ex, New Wife, GR, Meem, Poppy, S's family in a VERY crowded and VERY LOUD restaurant - he was amazing), and then because he did SO well, PC tacked on another bonus star.

See where I'm going with this? We've found something that works for us. We also found a new trick. You know how when our darling ASD-ers get so frustrated that they "yell" back at us in response to something we say? Dr. Baker used the example of saying, "Are you yelling at me?" or "Are you raising your voice at me?" Yes, the kids are frustrated, but this helps them check HOW they're using their voices. I've only remembered to use it with SmallBoy a couple of times, but it's proven effective, as he realizes that he is, in fact, talking to us in a manner that he doesn't like and that it's because he's frustrated. That, then, helped him to realize what the problem was and voice it appropriately.

There were so many wonderful aspects of this day with Dr. Baker and I promise I will, ultimately, get all of the notes translated for you. In the meantime, I hope that my two big "breakthroughs" can be of use to YOU! I'll post some pics from Girl's confirmation soon (she looked so beautiful - and she took my Grandmother's name as her confirmation name).

Because I'm at Work and I'm Bored

This is too weird - and eerie, but SO true, especially my power month (PC's birthmonth). Working on the notes from the conference. I'll have them for you soon.

Your Birthdate: November 23

You're not good at any one thing, and that's the problem. You're good at so much - you never know what to do. Change is in your blood, and you don't stick to much for long. You are destined for a life of travel and fun. Your strength: Your likeability. Your weakness: You never feel satisfied. Your power color: Bright yellow. Your power symbol: Asterisk. Your power month: May

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN, LARGEBOY!

Ok, so maybe for boys it's not "sweet" 16, but still....

Here's a funny Birth Day story for you. Imagine, or remember, if you will, lying on the table in the OR/Delivery room with your abdomen exposed to the world and your guts lying about, yet not feeling a bit of pain. Envision the "screen" that separates the rest of your body from your field of vision so that you're not totally grossed out at that scene. Then, as the second hand hits 8:02 on an early October morning in 1990, you hear the little wahhhh of the new life being scooped out of your body and raised high for all to see (kind of like Simba....heh heh heh). The emotions flood over you - part hormones, part epidural, part elation,part - thank GOD this pregnancy is over, part "my guts are all over the place." In the midst of trying to discern which emotion to feel, and whether to laugh or cry, the precious new child takes his first pee...right on the doctor who has just wrested him from his snuggly womb. How's that for poetic justice?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LARGEBOY! May the next 16 be as, well, YOU, as the past 16! (and don't complain about the pic, LargeBoy. It was this one or "BLEH!")