Saturday, January 21, 2006

To My SmallBoy

Dear SmallBoy,


I thought that perhaps, in all of this craziness with some people not understanding what it means to have an aspie child, or to BE an aspie child, that I should stop and talk to you. I want to tell you how proud I am of you.

You are the one who first felt something was different and struggled to understand what it was. You are the one who was lost at how to express sadness, frustration, and anger so that we could understand what was wrong. You are the one who had to cling to your preschool aid, the one who had to listen to your first grade teacher, Mrs. W - who also didn't "get it" - ask you why you couldn't just behave like a "normal child." You are the one who felt the pain in your ears from the buzzers at LargeBoy & Girl's basketball games, the one who was terribly frightened by the auto-flush toilets at school because they flushed with no warning (and I'll admit, the thought of the toilet flushing when you merely shift your weight is rather frightening).


You, my little love, are one of the strongest and bravest people I know. It took a lot of courage to finally come to me and, through your tears and sniffles, tell me that you were confused and afraid, and that you didn't know why you felt that way. You are the one who sat through 8 hours of testing so that we could officially put a name to what was troubling you, Asperger's Syndrome. You are the one who continues to go and sit through sessions with Dr. M. to talk and learn about new ways of identifying and dealing with your feelings and emotions. You are the one who, with me, PC, LargeBoy and Girl, has been on a mission to learn everything you can about Asperger's. You are the one who, even though it's very hard sometimes, is trying to stick with lists and charts to stay on track. You are the founding member of Team SmallBoy, and are determined to include everyone who touches your life as members of that team. You are the one who asked me if you could start a blog to help other aspies and their families.


You are such an inspiration. You have taught me how to be strong, to stand my ground and to fight for what you, and your brother and sister, deserve. You have taught me so much - like how it is perfectly fine to think and learn and express yourself differently, and that we - you and I - need to get out there and educate people on AS. It is SO important that it is better understood so that those people who don't "get it" may find it easier to "get".

SmallBoy, studies have shown that Aspies tend to be very good at music, computers, engineering or math. I can see you doing any of those things, or anything else that you set your mind to. Ultimately, though, I see you making your life helping people who are affected by Asperger's and other ASDs. You have shown me what brave and strong really mean. You have taught me to stand up for what I believe is right. You = my favorite little SmallBoy in the whole wide world. And I love you more than any little SmallBoy in the whole wide world. And everybody loves you, especially....And you're the most adorable little SmallBoy in the whole wide world, of course. And Team SmallBoy is the best and everything's going to be fine.

10 comments:

Eileen said...

Listen to your Mom Smallboy, she's a smart lady! She has also been teaching me to be a better Mom to my "smallboys" as well. She gives us all support when we need it and tells us all great stories about what an amazing kid you are.

Kristina Chew said...

You are one great Mom--First Mate if Not Captain to the Smallboy squad--inspiring all of us.

Octoberbabies said...

Great letter :-)

kyra said...

such a dear letter. you are a super mom! smallboy is lucky to have you and you are so lucky to have smallboy! our guys ARE so very brave. it is very moving to me.

Felicity said...

This is moving and sweet and I applaud you for writing it. And we do all love Smallboy.

Mom to Mr. Handsome said...

What a wonderful "letter" to your son.


Still wiping tears from my eyes,
Kristin

Mom to Mr. Handsome said...
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Wade Rankin said...

I have said this before elsewhere, that the best intervention any child can receive -- and the one intervention on which we can all agree -- is the unconditional and supportive love of parents. Small Boy is indeed blessed, as is his mom.

Laura said...

SmallBoy is lucky to have such a dedicated and loving Mom as you. A really lovely letter.

Lora said...

That was simply beautiful! What a fantastic mommy you are. :)