Thursday, August 18, 2005

Confession

In the 12-Step programs, participants have a sponsor that they call if they are in crisis. I think that mothers experiencing Mommy Guilt (isn't that all of us?) should have the same. Oh, wait, we all have blogs for this! Therefore, I am turning to all of you readers for a bit of support.I have seen my children for maybe 6 hours since Monday...and they live with me! Can you believe that?

Monday night was supposed to be a nice family night. The children had returned from a weekend with their father and we were going to kick back and relax, enjoying the small time that we have left before school starts. Well, Monday night was taken up by my trip to the Immediate Care Center for the stitches and the ensuing margarita. Tuesday night is our "date night". Since PC's schedule is so crazy and unpredictable, we try and make sure that Tuesday night, if it's free, is our night out. Typically we go and do karaoke with a bunch of the people he works with. We have a blast. Tuesday night, we did that after spending some time with MIL & Princess (they had spent the day with Girl and SmallBoy at the movies). We got home at about 1:30 a.m. Yesterday I had to go for my wound check right after work and then a parent orientation for incoming freshmen. Thankfully the doctor was unusually fastidious and we were out of there with time to spare before we had to speed of to the high school, allowing time for me to nuke some leftovers for the kids for dinner. On to the orientation and then to grab a bite to eat...oh, and I can't forget...consume a beverage to deal with the stress of officially having a high school student. We were home early, by 10:00, but then I kissed the kids good night and boogied up to bed. I was so tired that I didn't even get to pay much attention to PC.

So, yes, I'm having some major Mommy Guilt today. I know what you'll say - that Monday night couldn't be helped and that last night was FOR a child, so no guilt in either of those. But you ALL know how it is....the reasoning, rational or irrational, behind the mommy guilt is of no never mind. All that matters is the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, especially when SmallBoy hasn't been properly tucked into bed for three nights. I know he's missing it. Tonight I am all theirs, but I don't think that I can make up for the last three nights of not being there. I know they understand, but it's a mom thing. Comments, support? Anyone? Anyone?

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