Thursday, August 04, 2005

Time to Move On (or Surpassing the Image Problem)( OR, hey YOU - MOVE ON!)

Never in my life would I have thought that I was the type of girl that would be considered beautiful, attractive, etc. I grew up as the dork in jr. high. I had BAD, thick, untamed, scary brownish-yucky, bad naturally curl hair (and the curl did whatever it pleased), braces, Harry Caray thick glasses, and acne to scare the devil away. Needless to say, that created quite an image problem.

High school was a little better. The braces came off, I got contacts, and discovered make up. I started learning how to take control of the hair, and before long, discovered Sun-In, which ultimately turned into Clairol blonde. In junior year, I discovered that I could use my unruly hair to my advantage and began to dress like Madonna. Oh Boy - I think I just aged myself. Still not exactly the prettiest girl in class, but I was working hard on getting past this image problem.

College led to a more casual attitude and I got used to getting up and going to class looking like total crap and being o.k. with it. Of course, everyone else did the same thing. I had a boyfriend or two at the time, but really, it was nothing fabulous. And I still was working on getting past looking in the mirror and saying, "GROOOOOOOOOSSSSSS!!!", despite the comments to the contrary by friends & family. In my mind, friends and family always thought that you were beautiful despite anything else in the world.

After college - which I have yet to complete, I met Ex. Ended up getting married 11mos. later - you do the math. I never had the opportunity to do anything about appearances except to look like who I was - a Mom.

Post divorce, I dated a few men before finally marrying the love of my life. They all told me I was beautiful. I didn't believe them. PC, I believe. He makes me feel beautiful and I'm beginning to see that the beautiful he speaks about begins from the happiness he brings me. It starts on the inside and works its way out to be seen by everyone else. This is not Don't-hate-me-because-I'm-beautiful kind of beautiful, because I am a far cry from that - at least in MY opinion. It is a deeper kind of beauty that you feel inside. If you're lucky, well, then other people will see it too.

Lesson learned: The adage about beauty being more than skin deep is true. Once you feel it deep inside you, it will radiate out. The love that you feel from others and for others will make you feel that. It will shine out from you and, even if you can't see it, everyone else will. So move on. Get past the image problem. The other piece of that is that when you find your true love (and, trust me, it IS possible), you WILL feel it. I found him, and now I feel it.

I just wanted to add a quick clarification lest I offend anyone unintentionally: The above titles can be taken multiple ways. One particular, well, the first and last are for those who need to get OVER IT...not meant for ANY of my girlfriends, even those with whom I have "tiffed". I will have your curtain to you before you go, I promise.

1 comment:

Citations said...

You are beautiful to begin with and you know how to make the most of your assets. But it never hurts to have someone drooling over you on a daily basis, does it?