Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Mommy Kudos/SmallBoy Update

Ok, if I keep this to myself, I will just about bust. If I tell you, I know what I'll hear back,
"See, I told you!"

Well, I can't keep it in. PC and I were sitting in the office of the neuropsychologist on Friday, listening to her explain how SmallBoy did on his tests from the previous few days. First of all, she told me that she was confirming my informal diagnosis of Asperger's and that I was right on the money. I was very proud of myself, but I also knew that my Mommy-diagnosis came from almost a year of research and reading everything possible about AS. But the best was still to come.

After talking about his results, we began discussing what kinds of things will help him succeed in life. She said that he will need behavioral therapy to help him develop coping mechanisms which will, ultimately, get him past meltdowns and teach him how to deal with his anxiety and stress. She said that he will most definitely need a social skills group to help him learn all of those societal rules that we take for granted - the unwritten rules, interaction with peers, sarcasm, "breaking" rules, etc....She also told us that he will need some physical and occupational therapy to help him with his gross motor clumsiness.

We then went on to talk about what sets him so far apart from others on the autism spectrum, specifically others with AS, and it is his ability to feel emotions himself and to be able to read and interpret the emotions of others. The neuropsych attributed it, in large part, to the fact that we are such a lovey family and that he's never experienced any time without love in his life. She said that his brother and sister obviously show him great affection and do not see him as a burden. Certainly, there is still some work to be done for him to be able to read others' social cues to emotions, but this is probably the most wonderful thing that I have heard.

I guess that when a parent, specifically a mom, gets a compliment from a psychologist about the way that a child is raised, that it's a really really big deal! So, I will momentarily, humbly, and modestly, pat myself on the back, and simultaneously pat my own mother on the back for raising me to be a loving mom, just like her. Kudos to you, Mama!


Pat said...

I'm so glad you've finally got a firm diagnosis. And given the warm, loving family that surrounds SmallBoy, it sounds like the prognosis is good. I always knew you were a great mom!

mommyguilt said...

Thanks Pat! That always makes a mom feel better...because you know another mom is usually the best critic (LOL). By the way, that was me honking at you and taking your parking space at Jewel last week. It was one of the days I was off taking SmallBoy for his testing!

Mom said...

LargeBoy and Girl as well as SmallBoy are learning the power of a loving family from their great mom. And what they learn from you will help carry them through whatever may come in their lives. I love you!

Milly said...

Hey, Best mom in the world. I have seen you with your children. You are amazing. You manage to make them all feel equally loved, and the way you help Sam is absolutely amazing!! No wonder he does so well! He is affectionate, bright...and happy. He is a very lucky boy!!

mommyguilt said...

Thanks Moms! I am grateful that SmallBoy, well, really, all of my children, have such a wonderful, loving, caring support group of family and friends.

I do hope that they learn to carry this forward in a positive way into their futures.

Aunt Marge said...

We are very lucky to have a group of Moms in this family all commited to teaching our children the value of our love and support for one another. Thanks for continuing to model good "Momhood" and helping the family carry on.

Aunt Pat said...

Tina, I am so glad to hear that you went forward with helping Sam. I am so proud of you and know you will continue to do what is best for your Smallboy as he travels on the road to Biggerboy.

mommyguilt said...

Thanks MR & AP!! Now we've taken the first step. All we need to do now is follow the path and pray that we stay on it to the end.

Robin said...

This was a great post. Thanks for sending me the link.
Good for you for researching this on your own. Some parents don't realize that sometimes they have to take the initiative to find out what the heck is going on with their child. A+ for perserverance!!

It must've been such a rush to hear that he is doing so well because of his loving family. That's a big gold star on your forehead! I still believe that LOVE works miracles.

I am sure it's not always easy to cope with AS but I bet it is rewarding to watch your son's progress.

A co-worker who had a daughter with Downs Syndrome told me that before children are born, they pick the family they need to be with. Maybe your son chose your family because he knew how much he would be loved by all of you and how much he would love you back.

mommyguilt said...

Robin - Thank you so much for your comments. I agree with your friend, and have often times said the same: There is a reason that I was chosen to be SmallBoy's mother. I've never tried to figure out exactly what the reason was, but I've always known there was a reason. Perhaps your friend's logic is 100% accurate.