It is SOOOOOOOOOOOO Worth it

I gripe and whine a lot - ok, more than a lot, about my mommy guilt, about not having things that I want (quiet time, a clean house, more time with my children, etc...). I can see you all shaking your head in agreement. Everything was put into perspective for me this weekend, though. Let me tell you about it.

SmallBoy made his First Communion this past weekend. Between balancing work, sports schedules, homework time, shuttling Girl around for her One Tree Hill-a-thons, shopping, and cleaning for the party, most of my time was spent just trying to figure out where I had last left my head. I was in a tizzy, not knowing if I was coming or going. Thankfully, PC had the sense to keep giving me back my head, as he always knew where I had set it down last.

The big day arrived. We managed to get to church relatively free of pet hair, and were all sitting in the second pew at church, squished in like sardines - SmallBoy on the end, followed by PC, me, SmallBoy's father & stepmother, stepsister, and then the grandparents. Poor Mimi ended up in the pew in front of us, but she was actually in a better seat than we were. The teachers came and took each First Communicant from the pews and brought them to the back to process in ever so sweetly. The children ended their procession encircling the main altar, and then returning to their families after shaking hands with our wonderful pastor. The mass proceeded on and the children, of course, began to get anxioius. Finally all of the "stuff" was done - that would be the readings, etc...where the kids were supposed to pay attention, and it was time for Father to give his homily.

Father is known for giving excellent, yet LONG, homilies, so he promised to keep this one light and "fun". He began by reflecting on his First Communion and the foods he had at his celebration. One by one, he went around to all of the children and asked them what kind of food would be served at their parties. The children responded with everything from "Papa's pasta" to "chicken salad" (that was SmallBoy's answer). Then he spoke about how receiving communion is like a gift, being given something special and meaningful. The question posed to the students this time was centered around the best thing anyone had ever done for them or the most wonderful gift they had ever received. SmallBoy's answer was second. If you know me, you understand that I will cry at anything, so you'll not be surprised when I started just dropping the big raindrop tears when SmallBoy said, "When my mommy hugs me." Yes, it truly was worth it. Somehow, they always manage to get you when you need it the most. Instinctively, and without looking, I knewthat my mother and my mother-in-law were also being blessed with the watery eyes. The sincerity in his answer, the genuineness of his answer, the fact that he was the second to answer and wasn't trying to show up anyone with his answer, all of that combined with the sheer fact that I know how much my son loves me just made it all worth it.

The rest of the service continued on as normal. He received his first communion like the handsome young man that he is and, get this, he didn't make any faces or exclaim "EEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUWWWWW" at the taste of the wine. No, that doesn't mean he likes the wine. He told me when we got back to the pew that he had only taken a teensy sip and didn't want to really taste it, but that he knew it was important. It was a most memorable occasion and a wonderful party that followed.

The best thing, in my opinion, about his pronouncement about his mommy's hugs, is that children on the autistic scale are not necessarily able to feel emotion for others or sense other's feelings. I know that with SmallBoy, we have always shown him love and, perhaps, that is why he is able to feel it and send it back. This, however, proved to me that he knows what love is and that he knows how much we ALL love him. Again, I say, it was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo worth it!