Wednesday, November 30, 2005


DUH! Why didn't I see this before...well, I knew it, it just wasn't clicking. It seems that most of us have been having a trying last couple of days/weeks with our ASD-ers. Why oh why are they so off? Why are we seeing the worst from them? HELLO, DUH! I am SO dense sometimes. As I was commenting to Gretchen about planning for next/recovering from this Thanksgiving, I began to think of how frustrated WE, as adults, as NTs, get with all of the holiday craziness. Think about it....clean the house for relatives, make travel plans if we're going out of town, finish up that project at work, make arrangements for the pets, get the turkey, find the china, make room for the out of town guests...oh GOD...SHOP FOR FOOD!

OUR heads spin. I can't evin imagine what our poor littles are going through. Mid-comment I was reminded of Sal's post about what it feels like to be autistic, when she equated a terrifically horrible moment for her with what our ASD-ers must feel like. Read it. It explains a lot.

We get so terribly upset and frustrated when our kids are "off" after holidays or time with someone other than us. I never really sat down and thought of it in such a way that not only does their world turn sideways on a regular basis, but that there are times when it turns completely upside down. Getting rightside up - or at least sideways - again, takes a LOT of effort and stress.

The Thursday before SmallBoy goes to Ex's for the weekend is typically when things start to deteriorate and they don't come around again until usually Monday evening once his routine has had a full day to re-establish itself. I cannot even imagine what length of time it takes to readjust to, and from, the holidays and the disrupted routine. And yes, ladies, I ask the same question...WHAT are we going to do over the holiday break?????? Anyone? Anyone?


Eileen said...

Perfect Timing! In Andrew's backpack today there was this paper regarding an informative workshop titled "Relaxation Training & Stress Management" And "Coping With Holiday Stress". It is organized by our preschool child study team and presented by a psychiatric social worker this Friday. I will post any helpful information I may learn from the workshop.

Wendy said...

Don't smack me :) One day at a time, one day at a time. The worst I have is having him go back to school and get re-settled after the week break. I just want to crawl in my room now and not think about.

I think I might have some info to post. I'll have to dig.

Octoberbabies said...

Well DUH!!!!! I've been all "why's India so out of whack lately?" and there you go with an explanation. She was so happy and comfortable spending 4 days at home that I kept dismissing the idea of the holiday having thrown her off. I guess it wasn't the holiday - it was probably the going back to her busy schedule that's made her all nuts.

Laura said...

Loved Sal's blog. It was really very well written. As for breaks, I try to at least keep to the same schedule - up at the same time, lunch at the same time, etc. In the summer G. starts summer camp the week after school gets out and it runs 6 weeks. Then we have a routine of going to the pool, every day till school starts. I don't get a lot accomplished the last 6 weeks, but it saves my sanity. However, I am hoping next summer she will go to Camp Buckskin for a month - an ASD camp.

Kristina Chew said...

Ditto Wendy's "one day at a time"!

During holidays, sometimes I got by units of a few hours--or by the hour..... We are working on a full day schedule (that will be regularly varied) for Charlie. I always try to plan for activities that he can know we're doing--like a trip to grocery store or park or even just "hanging around home."

I do think Charlie appreciates the occasional break for him routine. (He's been on a monthlong break as it is now.) I've tried to learn how to both give him structure and teach him how to not have it...... tricky but teachable.

Lora said...

....go bonkers that's what! I will go bonkers over the holiday break. Griffin and I get so bored inside most of the time when it is so very cold outside.I mean, who wants to go out when it is zero or below? We just try to stay busy, have fun, and try to follow a schedule but it doesn't always happen that way. Kristina is right that not having structure is teachable because Griffin goes without quite often and does well.

Lora :)

mommyguilt said...

Thanks, all! It seems that part of the "routineness" on which our children thrive, is teaching them flexibility...that things won't always be the same, as much as we/they'd like and that sometimes things have to change. Perhaps if they can get used to (or adjust to) a planned change, then maybe an unexpected change won't cause AS much disruption or upset and frustration.

Lora - I hear's gotta be pretty cold by you, but I live in Chicago...tee heee and I don't know what to do during the cold hours either. SmallBoy also has asthma, so the cold is just not an option for us at ALL, unless he's in 13 layers of clothing.